Annihilate Me: Holiday Edition (14 page)

“I
need to be maneuvered,” Lisa said.

“Make
it happen.
 
But here’s the
deal.
 
Just one beer for Tank.
 
I don’t want him to get all sleepy on
you.
 
We can’t ruin Operation Lisa
Gets Laid.”

“Exactly.
 
One beer.
 
That’s it—then we’re all off to
bed.”

“Done.
 
In fact, we should offer snacks for the
boys.
 
That’ll soak up the booze.”

“Bonanza.”

I
finished shaking and winked at her.
 
“Alex and Tank?” I called.
 
“Would you like some snacks.
 
It looked like we’ve got everything in here.”

“I
could eat something,” Tank said.

“Same
here,” Alex agreed.
 
“We never had
dinner, Jennifer.”

I
looked at Lisa.
 
“Protein,” I said
in a low voice to Lisa.
 
“There’s
cheese in the fridge.
 
See what else
you can find.
 
I’ll get the
crackers.
 
We’ll feed them power
fuel.
 
Maybe we’ll both get lucky
tonight.”

“You
could do it again?”

“Sweetheart,
I can’t get enough of that man.”
 
I
kissed her on the cheek.
 
“And I
can’t wait until I hear you say the same thing about Tank.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The
next day was a blur of activity.

In
the morning, Alex and I woke early and cuddled in bed before we gave in to the
sounds coming from the floor below us.

“Blackwell
and the girls are up,” I said.
 
“We
should shower and join them.”
 
I
bumped my bottom against him.
 
“Unless you have other ideas.”

He
had other ideas.
 

It
was another ninety minutes before we were showered, dressed and ready to start
a day that didn’t begin with Lisa or Tank.
 
They weren’t up yet.
 
When we
went into the kitchen, Blackwell had a fresh pot of coffee brewing, and Alexa
and Daniella were reading the contessa’s chocolate cream pie recipe.

“Good
morning,” Daniella said.

“Good
morning,” Alex and I said.

“It’s
going to snow today,” Alexa said.
 
“And not the toxic kind of snow you’d find in Manhattan.
 
Here, it will be clean, fresh snow,
mostly free of carbons and other pollutants, which kill you.
 
If it’s sticky snow, I’m totes going to
make a snowman.”

I
looked out one of the kitchen windows.
 
“It is cloudy out,” I said.

“Hello.
 
My iPhone doesn’t lie.
 
I talked with Siri first thing and she
said that snow is on the way.
 
How
Christmassy is that?”

I
smiled at her.
 
“Pretty
Christmassy.
 
Let me know when and
if you build that snowman, because I might want to help.”
 

“Loves
it,” she said.

I
looked over at Blackwell, who was wearing white silk pajamas, a gorgeous white
robe and pretty white slippers.
 
I’d
never seen her like this before.
 
She’d run a brush through her bob, but her face was free of makeup,
which told me that she felt at home here.
 
She was relaxed and having fun.
 
I felt a rush of affection for her when she said, “Jennifer and Alex—coffee.
 
I made it just for you.
 
After all the snacks I see the four of
you binged on last night, I suggest that you take your coffees black.
 
But that’s just me.
 
If you want to indulge in cream and
sugar, so be it.
 
I’m getting all of
our asses back in shape when we return to Manhattan.”

“Has
anyone seen Lisa or Tank?” Alex asked.

Daniella
immediately looked up at us.
 
“Not
yet.
 
After last night, they’re
probably too tired.
 
I’m betting
that they’re going to sleep in.”

“Daniella,”
Blackwell said.

“Oh,
come on,” she said.
 
“As if I was
the only person who heard them rocking and rolling last night.”

“That’s
not the point.”

“Well,
it kind of is the point.
 
Alex asked
where they were.
 
I was just saying
that they’re likely down for the count after all of that noise they make—at
one point, I thought their bed was going to break.
 
They kept me awake, not that I minded
much.
 
I listened to
everything.
 
Tank’s so big and
Lisa’s so tiny.
 
I don’t even know
how those two worked it out, but they obviously did.
 
Again and again and again and again.”

It
might have happened!
 
But Daniella could
be exaggerating.
 
I won’t know for
sure until I talk with Lisa.

“Noise?” I said.

“Lisa’s
a moaner.”

“And
Tank’s a groaner.”

“Girls,”
Blackwell said.

“Well,
they are,” Daniella said.
 
“And, hey—I’m
happy for them.
 
It sounds as if
they had a great night.
 
Before we
left for Maine yesterday, I told everyone that I could feel their sexual
tension.
 
So, whatevs.
 
I was right.”

“I
see,” I said.
 
“Well.
 
I think I’ll have some coffee.
 
Alex?”

“I’d
love a cup.”

“Great.
 
I’ll make us each a cup of coffee.
 
That’s what I’ll do.
 
Look at me, making coffee.”

“Why
are you talking so much?” Alexa said.
 
“And acting all weird?”

“Because
she knows her friend got banged last night,” Daniella said.

At
that moment, the two sisters launched into a fit of giggles while my heart
lifted and a defeated Blackwell sighed.

*
 
*
 
*
 

By
mid-morning, it was snowing.
 
Large,
thick flakes fell from the sky in such a way that I knew from experience that
Alexa would get her snowman if it snowed hard enough

Blackwell,
Daniella and Alexa were deep into making their chocolate cream pie when Lisa
and Tank entered the living room from downstairs.
 
When they came into the room, Alex and I
were on our knees going through the boxes of ornaments, tinsel and strings of
colored LED lights he had his staff buy before we came here.
 
I looked sidelong at them.
 

“Good
morning,” I said.

“Good
morning!” Lisa said.

“Good
morning, Alex.
 
Jennifer,” Tank
said.

“Sorry
we’re so late,” Lisa said.

“Late
for what?” I asked.
 
“We’re here on
holiday.
 
You’re supposed to sleep
in if you want.
 
Look, Alex and I
are going through ornaments and seeing what we have to work with before we
decorate the tree.
 
Why not have
some coffee and breakfast while Alex and I sort through the boxes.
 
And check it out,” I said, pointing to
the windows behind the tree.
 
“It’s
snowing.
 
If we get enough snow,
Alexa and I are going to build a snowman.”

“I
want to help,” Alex said.

“And
Alex is going to join us.
 
If you
want to join in, join in.
 
But get
some coffee first and ease into the day.
 
Try the bagels—they’re excellent.
 
Cream cheese is in the fridge.
 
Come back and hang out with us when
you’re ready.”

“OK,”
Lisa said.

You
totally got laid,
I thought
with a thrill.
 
I can see it in
your eyes.
 
Tank finally made the
big move, which for him I know is a commitment!

I
looked at Alex when they left.
 
“It’s a done deal,” I said.

“I
have a feeling you’re happy about that?”

“You
don’t even know.”

“I
might have an idea.”

“You
know I want them to be together.”

“I
feel the same way.”

I
leaned toward him and kissed him on the lips.
 
“You know, should they need their
privacy, we can always send them to a certain no-tell motel.”

“That
we could.”

“It
would be an act of kindness.”

He
grinned at that, and those dimples of his that I loved so much appeared amidst
the stubble.
 
“You’re killing me.”

“You
know what I can’t wait for?”

“I
think I have an idea.
 
It’s probably
the same thing I’m eager to share.”

“It
is.
 
Telling everyone tonight the
date of our wedding.
 
Asking Lisa if
she’ll be my matron of honor.
 
And
you asking Tank if he’ll be your best man.
 
Tonight is going to be epic.”

“The
rest of our lives is going to be epic,” he said.
 

*
 
*
 
*
 

It
wasn’t until after lunch that I was able to steal Lisa away.
 
While Tank and Alex were watching a
football game in the living room, she was in the kitchen with Blackwell and the
girls while they made their chocolate cream pie.

“Come
and help me find something to wear tonight?” I asked her.
 

“Sure.”

“Tonight
will be dressy, don’t you think?” I asked Blackwell.

“It’s
Christmas Eve, for God’s sake.
 
Of
course, it will be dressy.
 
I’m
wearing Dior.
 
The girls will be
wearing couture.
 
I expect nothing
less from the rest of you.
 
Tonight,
we all turn it out.
 
I might even
join you in a martini because, you know—no carbs.”

“Dressy
it is, but now I need help deciding between two dresses.”
 
I looked at Lisa.
 
“Let’s go upstairs so I can show you the
options.”

“And
so you can get the deets,” Daniella said.

“Daniella.”

“That’s
what they’re going to do.
 
Hello.
 
Captain Obvi.”

“You
really have no filter, do you?” Alexa said.

“Why
should I?”

“Anyway,”
I said to Lisa.
 
“Let me show you
what I have in mind.”

We
went upstairs to the master bedroom.
 
I closed the door behind us, sat on the bed, and looked at her.
 
“Give it all to me,” I said.

“Apparently,
you already know pretty much everything.
 
I can see it on your face.
 
And by the way, how
do
you
know?”

“Daniella,
Alexa and Blackwell might have heard you.”

“Oh,
God.”

“Don’t
worry about it.
 
They’re unfazed and
happy for you.”

“We
tried to keep it down, but Tank?
 
Let’s just say that he’s anatomically correct to the tenth power.
 
There was a moment there when I thought
that there was no way that thing was going to fit inside of me.
 
It was like a baby’s arm holding out an
apple.”

“There’s
an image.”

“Well,
it’s true.
 
And he was
wonderful.
 
He knew exactly what he
was doing.
 
He knew just how to
prepare me.
 
And everything worked out—or
in and out, in this case—just fine.”

“That’s
all well and good, but regardless of what I might have heard second hand, I
still don’t know what led up to the big moment.”

“You’re
so needy.”

“Actually,
I’m so happy.”