Anne Douglas (3 page)

Still pink in the face, Shona hesitated.

‘Don’t be afraid to ask me anything you’re not clear about,’ Miss Bryce told her.

‘Well, I was just wondering . . .’ Shona hesitated. ‘The lady who’s been looking after me would like to visit me sometimes. Would that be allowed?’

Miss Bryce frowned. ‘I don’t care to say that visits are not allowed, but it’s true that we don’t encourage them in the early days of a new child’s stay. They can be unsettling.’

‘Perhaps Shona could ask about a visit later?’ Miss Lucas suggested.

‘That would be best.’ Pressing a bell push on her desk, Miss Bryce shuffled some papers on her desk and stood up. ‘And now, I think the time has come for Miss MacLaren to take you along to your dormitory, Shona. The young people are due back from school about now, and it will be a good time for you to meet them.’

‘Thank you, Miss Bryce,’ Miss Lucas said again, now rising with Shona. ‘I’ll leave all the paperwork with you, then.’

‘Certainly. Everything is in excellent order. And – see – here comes Miss MacLaren.’

After her assistant had reappeared and been introduced to Shona, Miss Bryce turned to say goodbye.

‘Shona, I’m sure you’ll settle in well. Do your best and you’ll be happy. Miss MacLaren, will you show Miss Lucas out?’

Seemingly the first ordeal was over, then, and Shona was out of Miss Bryce’s office and on her way to the front door to say goodbye to Miss Lucas: her last link, she was beginning to feel, with the outside world. Maybe it hadn’t been so bad, meeting Miss Bryce? She might have been worse. All the same, Shona knew well enough that you had to tow the line with someone like her. Always obey the rules. Never answer back. Really, she was no worse than a teacher, and Shona was used to obeying teachers. The difference, of course, was that she was also used to going home at four o’clock and leaving her teachers behind. At Edina Lodge, they would always be there.

‘Here’s the front door, then,’ said Miss Lucas, trying not to look too sadly at Shona while Miss MacLaren stood to one side. ‘I’m afraid it’s time for us to say goodbye.’

‘I know,’ Shona answered in a small voice. ‘I wish it wasn’t. You’ve been very nice to me, Miss Lucas.’

‘And you’ve done very well. I’m proud of you. It’s not been easy, but you’ve broken the ice; you know what Edina Lodge is like and you’ll soon think of it as home.’

‘Will you be coming back sometimes? I don’t mean to see me, but, you know, looking in?’

‘Of course. I often have business here.’ Miss Lucas gave Shona a quick hug. ‘And I’ll certainly see you. Goodbye for now, though – I really must go. Goodbye, Miss MacLaren.’

‘Goodbye, Miss Lucas,’ said Miss Bryce’s assistant, moving closer to Shona. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her.’

‘I know you will.’

Away hurried Miss Lucas and as the front door closed on her, Miss MacLaren gave Shona a quick smile. ‘Like to see your dormitory, then? We can just fit that in before everybody comes back from school. They’re due any minute now.’

So Miss Bryce had said. Another hurdle to face then. And everyone knew other children could make your life difficult if they didn’t like you. Will they like me? wondered Shona. Whether they did or not, there would be no getting away from them.

‘Yes, I’d like to see the dormitory,’ she said, putting the thought aside, and followed where Miss MacLaren led, up the staircase and along a landing, up more stairs and into a long room lined with neatly made beds.

‘Here we are!’ cried Miss MacLaren cheerfully. ‘This is Stirling. All the dormitories are called after Scottish places, so the girls have Stirling, Kintyre and Aberdeen, and the boys have Cromarty, Inverness and Roxburgh.’

‘I see.’ Shona stood looking around, her heart once more descending to her boots. So many beds. How many beds? As an only child, she’d never shared her wee room with anyone, had never known what it was to be with other people until she’d moved to Mrs Hope’s, and it had been strange enough then to share with her girls. But not like this. Not with so many beds.

‘Where’s my bed?’ she asked at last.

‘The fifth on the right. There are sixteen beds in all in Stirling, which is the largest dormitory for girls.’

‘Sixteen? I thought there’d be more.’

‘Seems like it?’ Miss MacLaren smiled. ‘No, eight on either wall. Quite enough, too, when you’re scrambling for washbasins in the morning. But, come on, let’s unpack your bag. Everyone has a locker, you see, where you can put your photographs and so on, with pegs behind and a place for a towel, plus in the centre of the room there are shared chests of drawers for your clothes. Now, we’ll get you fitted up with your uniform. It would be nice, eh, if you could be ready before the others come?’

Too late. Somewhere doors were banging, footsteps thudding, someone was laughing and a woman’s voice was shouting, ‘Less noise, please! Less noise, or there’ll be trouble!’

While Miss MacLaren was sighing and Shona was standing, uncertain where to go, the door of Stirling was thrown open and a crowd of girls in brown-check dresses and cardigans streamed in, some talking, some giggling, but all seeming cheerful enough. Just like any other lassies, really, Shona thought, even if they were orphans. But, of course, as soon as they saw her, someone new, they halted and stared.

‘Who’s this, then?’ cried one.

‘This is Shona Murray from the Dean Village who’s come to join us,’ Miss MacLaren said smoothly. ‘Come and meet her.’

‘Why’s she no’ wearing her uniform?’ a tall girl of about fourteen asked sharply, at which Miss MacLaren clicked her tongue.

‘Because she hasn’t got it yet, of course – you might have worked that out for yourself, Julia. Poor Shona’s mother died recently and her father died in the war, which is why she’s come to the Lodge. I hope you will all make her welcome.’

‘Oh, we will, Miss MacLaren,’ a pretty blonde girl said quickly, taking a step or two towards Shona. ‘Hello – my name’s Cassie Culloch. I’m very sorry about your ma, but you’ll be fine here, eh? Is that no’ right, girls?’

There were some murmurs of assent, though one or two girls were still studying Shona as though they’d have to make up their minds about her before they spoke, while she, in her black dress that didn’t fit, was feeling as if she’d been put on show.

‘Could I go and get my uniform now?’ she asked desperately, and Miss MacLaren, nodding, clapped her hands and told the girls to scatter, put on their pinafores for tea and tidy themselves.

‘Quickly, now! Shona, you come with me, but leave your bag by your bed first and hang up your coat. Cassie is next to you and will be very helpful, I’m sure.’

‘Och, yes, Cassie’s always
helpful
,’ the girl called Julia said scornfully, keeping her voice down, but Cassie heard and flushed while Miss MacLaren frowned but made no comment, only hurried Shona along to her bed and then out of the dormitory.

‘Don’t worry about some of the older girls,’ she said quietly as she unlocked the door of the uniform store. ‘They like to show off, you know, because they consider themselves rather grand, being nearly ready to leave.’

‘Ready to leave?’ Shona was staring round at the rows of dresses and grey flannel skirts hanging up, the jackets and cardigans and piles of underwear, the socks, pinafores and nightclothes. Outside a shop, she’d never seen so many clothes, though there was a dreary sameness about them all that did not appeal. Still, she shouldn’t complain – she should be grateful. After all, these clothes were new. Not many of Shona’s clothes had been new in the past, for new clothes cost good money.

‘Ready to leave?’ she repeated, as Miss MacLaren took down a couple of dresses to check for size. ‘Why? When do people leave here? No one’s said.’

‘At fifteen.’ Miss MacLaren held a dress against Shona but shook her head and tried a smaller one. ‘Fifteen, for both girls and boys. Usually, the girls go into service – that gives them a home, you see, and the boys are best going into the army, for the same reason. I think this one’s your size, Shona. Like to slip off that dress?’

‘Fifteen? Does that mean nobody stays on at school, then?’

‘I’m afraid so. After all, many young people go to work at that age, or younger, and places are needed here. Everyone has to move on.’

‘I’m no’ keen on going into service,’ Shona murmured, feeling very exposed in her liberty bodice and knickers until she was able to put on the checked uniform dress. She could tell at once that it fitted her very well, though Miss MacLaren was laughing as she held up a mirror.

‘Oh dear, it’s only your first day here and you’re already deciding what you want to do when you leave! Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, eh? How do you like that dress, then?’

‘It’s nice, it fits.’

And she looked like everybody else, which meant folk couldn’t point the finger, Shona thought, trying on a cardigan and watching Miss MacLaren sort out the rest of the things she would need.

‘All these will require marking before they go to be washed, but I’ll give you some marked tapes later and you can sew them on. Like sewing, Shona?’

‘Aye, I’m no’ bad at it.’

‘That’s a relief. The boys, of course, are hopeless, but we don’t let them off. Now, there’s no raincoat in your size at the moment, which means I’ll have to order one and you’ll have to wear your own coat for the time being. I’ll return the black dress for you, though, if you give me the address, as you won’t be needing that.’

‘No,’ Shona agreed, remembering Kitty and feeling a sudden rush of sadness overwhelm her, a sort of dull pain gathering strength in her chest.

‘The address is number twelve, Baxter Row,’ she said chokily. ‘That’s where Mrs Hope lives. I’ve got clothes of my own, but it was her daughter lent me that dress, because it was black.’

‘I see,’ Miss MacLaren said softly. ‘Well, I’ll make sure it’s washed and returned. Now, when you’ve put your things away in the dormitory, Cassie can show you the bathroom where you can wash your hands before tea, and then she’ll take you down to the dining room. You might find it a bit noisy, I’m afraid, with everyone there together.’

‘I’ll no’ mind,’ said Shona.

Oh, but she would. She knew she would, for the pain in her chest was no better and the feeling of sadness gripped her still. Folk had been kind – even Miss Bryce had been sympathetic – but it was all too different here for her ever to think of it as home. A place to stay was all it was, and a place to leave at fifteen, eh? To go into service? Not for her.

‘I believe it’s macaroni cheese for tea tonight,’ Miss MacLaren told her as they returned to Stirling. ‘Like macaroni cheese, Shona?’

‘Oh, yes,’ replied Shona, who didn’t feel like eating anything.

Her first experience of having a meal at Edina Lodge was just as unnerving as Shona had feared. As Miss MacLaren had warned, the dining room was buzzing with noise and so large and so filled with unknown young faces that Shona had the feeling, when she entered with Cassie, of being quite swallowed up. It didn’t help that half the faces belonged to boys – all, she felt, staring at her.

‘Hello, here’s a new wee lassie,’ one cheeky-faced boy called across from the long table next to theirs. ‘Where’d you come from, then, Carrots?’

And though a tall, frowning man with black hair and a black moustache immediately told him to be quiet, the damage had been done. As some of the boys sat grinning over their plates, Shona, sitting next to Cassie, couldn’t help blushing, longing to show she didn’t care what the boys called her, just wishing she were a thousand miles away. Or, at least, back home.

‘Don’t you be taking any notice of the laddies,’ Cassie whispered. ‘Some just like playing the fool, like Archie Smith there.’

‘Hey, you two, where’s your knives and forks?’ asked Julia, slapping down plates of macaroni cheese in front of Shona and Cassie, and staring at them with hard, dark eyes. ‘Might be my turn to dish this out, but I’m no’ getting your cutlery as well!’

‘Oh, my fault!’ cried Cassie, starting up. ‘I should’ve said: we collect our knives and forks when we come in. Stay there, Shona, I’ll go for them.’

‘And where’s your pinafore?’ Julia demanded fiercely of Shona. ‘Did dear Cassie no’ tell you we’re all supposed to wear pinnies, to save our clothes at meal times? Another thing she’s forgotten, eh?’

‘She’s been showing me round and very well an’ all!’ Shona cried. ‘And why’ve we got to wear pinafores if the boys don’t?’

‘Aye, why?’ some girls sitting nearby piped up, but the boys started laughing again at the very idea, and the man with the black moustache had to intervene to restore order.

‘You the new arrival?’ he asked Shona.

‘Yes, I’m Shona Murray.’

‘Hope you’ll be happy here. I’m Mr Glegg – in charge of the boys. Just want to say,’ he added, lowering his voice, ‘not to worry about their teasing. They don’t mean any harm.’

‘That’s all right,’ she answered quickly, her high colour fading. ‘I don’t mind.’

As he moved away and Cassie breathlessly returned with their knives and forks, Shona hoped he was right about his boys. Probably he was, though she had her doubts about Julia’s goodwill. What a bit of luck that she would be leaving soon!

‘We should be wearing our pinafores,’ she murmured to Cassie, beginning to eat her macaroni cheese, which wasn’t too bad. ‘So Julia says.’

‘Our pinafores?’ Cassie put her hand to her mouth. ‘Och, no! I was that keen to show you round, I forgot all about ’em. Trust Julia Hammond to see! Just hope no one else notices.’

‘Aren’t we too old anyway, to be wearing pinnies?’

‘It’s Miss Bryce’s idea – to cut down on washing.’

‘So, where is Miss Bryce?’

Shona was gazing round at the once-handsome dining room, which still had its fine plaster ceiling and elegant chimney piece, above which was the portrait of an elderly man – probably Mr Hamer, who’d owned Edina Lodge and willed it to become an orphanage. Now, of course, his dining room was crammed with tables – two long ones and a smaller top table from where food was served and three women were now sitting over their meal. There was no sign of Miss Bryce or Miss MacLaren, as Shona remarked.