I gazed down at her, and I could almost see the red tiger over me like a hood. The energy of it called to her tiger. I whispered, “Change for me.”
“I will not, and you can’t make me. You are a survivor of an attack. You are not pureblood.”
She was so angry, but anger was food, too. I drank her anger down through the feel of my hands on her skin and the pulse of her blood beating against my hands. There wasn’t much anger; it was a thin disguise for her fear. She was so afraid, afraid of me, afraid of how weak she was, afraid that her mother had sent her here to die.
“Let go!”
I let go of the joint lock but not the arm. I rode that down so that I was straddling her waist, pinning both her arms to the floor.
Fear and anger fought in her eyes, down her skin, across the energy of the red tigress. She tried for bold, and said, “Are you going to fuck me, too? Is that all you know how to do here in St. Louis?”
I laughed, and felt my eyes go, not tiger, but vampire. My eyes if I’d been one for real. I felt the fear win out over the anger, as I moved her arm down, so that I could pin it under one knee. She could have fought me. She had the strength, but for all she tried to do she could have been human; hell, most people would have fought, but she didn’t. I put my hand against the back of her neck. Her skin was warm; the small curls at the back of her neck, silky against my hand.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Making my point,” I said, as I leaned into her. I kissed her, and she froze against me, as if she didn’t know what to do. I let my tiger spill into my mouth, and into hers. Not because I was about to change, or in danger, but because I needed her never to fight me again.
I tried to think, but the red tiger would have killed her, and distant behind that was a very practical thought, that if we did this there would be no more arguing. I looked up from the woman under me and found Jean-Claude standing by me. I knew it wasn’t my thought. The problem was that I agreed with that very practical, very ruthless thought. It’s hard to fight the bad thought when you agree with it.
I had a moment of choice, and then I closed my eyes and I kissed her. It wasn’t just the red tiger that spilled through me, it was all the other colors, only gold held back, but the others spilled into my mouth and across my lips and into her. The energies tore her apart. I straightened up a second before a wave of clear, warm fluid and blood exploded across me. The violence of it tore screams from her, her body bucking underneath mine, until a tiger lay underneath me, shivering as if everything hurt. Her fur was so dark a red it was almost as black as her stripes. She stared up at me with the same eyes, but now they were full of pain, and very afraid.
I got up from her, a little shaky on my heels. Jean-Claude was there to take my hand, to steady me. I looked into his eyes and they were as blue and blind with power as mine were brown and black with it. I was covered in blood and fluid.
“The dress is ruined,” I said.
He smiled. “We’ll buy another.” He led me until we stood in front of the gold tiger who was still kneeling between the guards. His eyes were a little wide, lips parted. He was afraid of us.
“Do I need to make my point again?” I asked.
“What point do you want to make?” he asked.
“That the tigers are ours. That we can be Master of Tigers. That’s what you and the rest of your people came to St. Louis to find out, isn’t it?”
“You read that from Jade’s mind,” he said.
“We did,” Jean-Claude said. Jake had also told us that, but we let that slide. We were winning. Never overexplain when you’re winning.
“My master knows what I know. He knows you only need gold to complete the tigers.”
That was our cue, or rather Devil’s and Envy’s. We were keeping the other golden tigers hidden, but the two that were ours would get trotted out. The rest could stay hidden for now.
I didn’t have to use a phone. I just thought of Dev, and Jean-Claude did the same for Envy. Micah had Dev by the hand and led him to me. His hand wrapped around mine and my skin was flushed and warm, like being wrapped in a blanket of comfortable power. Richard had Envy by the hand and handed her to Jean-Claude.
The other golden stared at them. “The young ones we cared for were massacred. Those of us who were hiding them never told the others, so that if one was destroyed the others would be safe. My master and I didn’t know if you would have more of my kind here.”
“Jade saw you with your master and was envious that you seemed to love one another,” I said. “I wouldn’t break a love that’s survived thousands of years. That’s got to be rare even among vampires.”
“I did not want to give up our tie, but I did not know that we would find other golden tigers in time to help you.”
“We could part you from your master,” Jean-Claude said.
“If it is your will I don’t think we can stop you.” He seemed very calm about it.
“You really did come here to sacrifice yourself for the common good, didn’t you?” I asked.
“The gold tigers have hidden for centuries. We learned from our earlier ignorance. Now there are more of us than the black or the blue clans. We want you to be Master of Tigers, Jean-Claude. We need you to be, because if we do this we break with the Darkness that made us, and if she ever gains power again she will make us long for true death long before she gives it to us.”
“Why would you risk her anger to join with us?” I asked.
“She knows now what we did.”
“That it was her own beloved Harlequin who put her into that long-ago sleep,” Jean-Claude said.
He nodded.
“So the white tiger’s myth is true,” I said.
“It is,” he said.
I raised eyebrows at that. Jade hadn’t known that. I didn’t think he read my mind, but he said, “We heard how you divided master from servant with the lion and the Master of Chicago, and the two Vegas tigers from their queen and master. We knew that there was a chance that you would divide at least one of us from our masters. It was always one of the gifts of the Mother, to break all bonds and bind only to her.”
“Jade didn’t know your whole plan,” I said.
“No, because then her master would have known, and we considered him corrupt.”
“Without Jade’s energy to raise his level, you can kill him,” I said.
“We could not trust him.”
“You hoped we’d steal Jade from him and make him weak,” I said.
“Yes,” he said.
“And you wanted her free of him so that when he dies, she doesn’t die with him,” I said.
“She has endured enough at his hands. When we realized there was another vampire who could break her free of him, we moved to make it so.”
“She thought you did not see her suffering,” Jean-Claude said.
“We saw, but we could not free her from him.”
“You waited for another vampire to be created who could free her,” I said.
“Who could free us all,” he said.
I gave him the look that deserved. “We’re good, but we aren’t the immortal Darkness.”
“You don’t have to be. You just have to be able to cut bonds between master and servant, all servants, and that you can do, you have proved that.”
“What do you want of us?” Jean-Claude asked.
“So you would spare me and my master, even feeling the power you gain from each broken bond?”
“We have enough power,” I said.
He studied us. “You have a great deal of power, but to do what we need, more would be better.”
“We’ll find more,” Micah said.
He studied us all. “You would spare me and my master, because he and I love each other. You would spare us for love,” he said.
I looked at Jean-Claude and my other men out of habit more than need. “What else is there?” I asked.
He smiled up at us. It was almost a beatific smile, his face shining with love close to adoration. I didn’t think it was from looking at us. I thought he was more thinking of his master, his love. “That is the answer we hoped for.”
“So you gambled centuries of happiness, your free will, and your very existence, on love?” I said.
He shrugged with his arms still bound behind his back, and the guards still heavy on his shoulders. “As you said, is there really anything else worth gambling everything for?”
What could I say but, “No, there isn’t.” And standing there holding everyone’s hands, feeling the hum of the energy we’d raised between us, I believed that.
THE HARLEQUIN’S GOLD tiger went back to his master. Jake and Jade stayed with us. Jake joined us in the gym like all the good guards. Jade joined us in the gym, too, but she’s not a guard. She can fight and she’s fearsomely good, but the centuries of abuse have left her with a victim’s mentality, and that doesn’t make a good guard. Maybe I can introduce her to Richard’s therapist?
Cynric, who wants to be called Cyn, pronounced
Sin
, stayed in St. Louis. He’s the only blue tiger we have and we need him close to us. I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but unless I want to divide the female blue tiger from her master, who she also loves, Cyn is the only one we have to bind to us. He’s hitting the gym, and we’re looking at enrolling him in his last year of high school. When I realized he was a junior I was totally creeped, but he’s legal, and his guardians Max and Bibiana did what they had to do to make his stay with us legally okay. I’m still working on my issues with it all. But one problem at a time.
They found the Master of Atlanta by using the cadaver dogs like I’d suggested. They fried him with an exterminator team and it made international news. He’d slaughtered another dozen people before they tracked him down. The few vampires that survived his death are in need of a new Master of the City. Jean-Claude and I are debating on who to send. Meng Die wants it to be her. She’s friendlier to me since we helped her up her power level. What she actually said was, “When you dance with the devil, it might as well be a devil who can give you your own corner of hell to rule.” Not a rousing endorsement, but it’ll do.
Richard has continued to be okay. I learned that the three men who tried to kill him were dead. I’d assumed the guards that we sent to rescue him had killed them, but they’d only helped dispose of the bodies. Richard as his wolf had hunted them through the woods and killed them. Jean-Claude and I held him one night while he cried about that. He didn’t cry about killing them so much as about how much he enjoyed killing them. In our ways, all three of us worry that we will be the monster.
It turned out that the effects of the
ardeur
and some of the odd pairings wore off. We offered every woman not on birth control a morning-after pill. I was thankful once again that I was on the pill. Condoms for me were an extra protection—not my only one. J.J. is back in New York, but she’s also back to being in love only with Jason. Bianca, the swanmane, is a little unhappy about that, but it’s not the
ardeur
that makes her miss J.J. She just liked J. J., and who could blame her?
Jake helped us hunt Padma, Master of Beasts. It wasn’t that hard to break the Mother’s hold on him. Jake thinks it worked so well because my power is similar to his. I’m not so sure. It was too easy, as the old saying goes. But we took our victory, and the Dragon and the Traveller are sending people of their line to St. Louis, so if the Mother does try to take them over we can have a leg up on breaking them free. We can’t find the Morte d’Amour. He still carries Marmee Noir inside him, but he’s stopped trying to take us over. If I didn’t know better I’d say he, and she, were afraid of us. He took over another of his descendants in Europe. The vampires killed nearly seventy people before they were stopped by the army. Countries where vampires are still illegal don’t have legal vampire executioners. They usually call in what amounts to the National Guard.
Some tigers of every color stayed with us. We have enough blood donors that most of our vampires can feed on shapeshifters. We’re the only vampire kiss in the country that can boast such rich food for all our bloodsuckers.
I still miss windows and light and air, but until we find and free the Lover of Death, the Circus of the Damned is the safest place to be. We’re doing the best to make it home.
I’ve rearranged my schedule so that I have three afternoons a week free of clients, so I can train with the guards. Nathaniel tries to have coffee ready for me in the kitchen when I come home so we have a few minutes to visit. One afternoon Matthew was at the kitchen table drinking milk and eating a freshly made peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Hey, Matthew,” I said, and made sure my suit jacket was lying flat over my gun so I wouldn’t flash.
“Hey, ’Nita,” he said, with a mouthful of sandwich. He stood up in his chair and raised his arms for me to pick him up. He puckered up for a kiss and I gave him one. He got lipstick and I got grape jelly.
I went to Nathaniel and started to kiss him, then remembered Matthew’s comment at the dance recital:
All the big boys kiss you, ’Nita
.
Nathaniel gave me a puzzled look and then kissed me, and I kissed him back, because I didn’t know what else to do. Besides, the smell of his skin made me feel better than the smell of the coffee he handed me.
Nathaniel sat down at the table near Matthew, and I did, too. “Monica’s taking a deposition out of state. It’s apparently a witness they’ve been searching for on a fraud case.”
I sat down at the table and sniffed the coffee. It smelled good. “How long is she gone for?”
“Overnight. We drop him at preschool tomorrow, and she’ll pick him up like normal.”
The guards spilled into the kitchen. It was shift change. They’d get coffee and maybe a snack and then we’d all go work out. The guards called, “Hey, kiddo.” Lisandro, who had two little ones of his own, ruffled Matthew’s auburn curls. He chattered with them, excited, like it was all normal. I took off my jacket, because I wanted to and every guard was armed to the teeth and not hiding it. My little gun didn’t seem so bad.
He called out to Devil. “Can I come watch you practice?”
“Sure,” he said, and he leaned over and kissed me hi. So did Nicky. All the big boys kiss ’Nita.
When everyone had had coffee or water, or just a few minutes to decompress, we all got up and went for the gym. We moved surrounded by muscular armed and dangerous men. Matthew took my hand and Nathaniel’s. “What are we reading tonight, Natty?” he asked.
“
Goodnight Moon
?”
“No, that’s a little kid’s book. I’m big now.”
Nathaniel smiled and said, “How about
Peter Pan
?”
“You mean like the cartoon?”
He smiled wider. “Yeah, like the cartoon.”
“I like Peter Pan, he can fly!”
Peter Pan
was the first book Micah, Nathaniel, and I ever read to each other, and now we’d read it to Matthew. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with everything Matthew saw and learned with us, but his mother was okay with it. Who was I to bitch?
What bothers me most about keeping Matthew is that Nathaniel is starting to hint that maybe we could have a rug rat of our own. Me, a mom? So not happening. But if he keeps hinting about kids, he may talk me into that puppy he’s been wanting.
I can see us with a puppy, but a baby? Not only no, but hell no. I’m a U.S. Marshal, a legal vampire executioner, and I raise the dead for a living. None of those jobs would work with a baby, and not even the thought of having Nathaniel’s lavender eyes staring up at me from some curly-haired moppet is enough to change that. Besides, brown beats light-colored eyes genetically. I’d more likely be staring into a pair of my own dark brown, and I can see that every time I look in a mirror. I’m not fond enough of my own eyes to want to see them in someone else’s face.