“So, are you finished with ‘work’?” asked Lucy the redhead, giving him a flirtatious smile as she made quote marks in the air. They’d thought it was hilarious that he gave psychic readings. He wouldn’t have bothered telling them, except that one of their group had seen him here in the marketplace the day before. “Because if you are,” she went on, “maybe you could show us the sights.”
He hesitated. Both girls were pretty and fun to be with, but all he really felt like doing was going back to the hostel and reading his book – maybe sitting outside with a cigarette. But Lucy was already laughing, pulling at his arm. “We’re not taking no for an answer. Besides, you promised last night.”
“I don’t remember this,” he said, smiling despite himself.
“Well, you
practically
did. Come on, give us the grand tour of
el mercado
– we want to see a typical Mexican marketplace.”
He gave in. Why not? It wasn’t as if he had anything else to do with his time, now that he was no longer searching. The thought brought a wince of pain; he pushed it away.
“All right,” he said. He raked his hair back; he could feel the curls hanging over his forehead, annoying him. “The first thing, I think, is that we go and find something to eat.”
“Ooh, good idea,” said Amanda. She had dark hair and eyebrows that were too perfect to be natural. “Lead the way.”
The bright chaos of the marketplace enveloped them: vendors shouting their bargains; the smell of spicy food cooking; crowds of shoppers. Seb had been in Chihuahua for almost two weeks now. After his decision at the orphanage, he’d hitched a ride with the first truck he’d seen to wherever it was going, but had somehow felt compelled to get off here – so strongly that he’d almost shouted at the truck driver to stop. It didn’t make much sense to him now; the town was as dusty and run-down as he remembered. Still, he supposed it was as good a place as any to figure out what to do with the rest of his life.
The problem was, he had no idea – all he knew was that ever since he’d arrived in Chihuahua, he’d had a feeling there was something he was supposed to be doing. It was a constant irritation, like a bee buzzing at his head.
They got tacos and wandered around the stalls. Lucy kept close to him as they walked, frequently touching his arm as she and Amanda chattered about the Copper Canyon train trip their group was taking the next morning, to see the plunging canyons of the Sierra Madre. They were excited about experiencing the “real Mexico”, which amused Seb. The Copper Canyon tour – so safe and so geared for American tourists – was not remotely like the real Mexico he knew.
“You’ll have a good time,” was all he said. “Make sure you don’t fall out the window – it’s a long way down.”
“Hey, maybe you could come with us!” Lucy gave a little skip to get ahead of him, walking backwards. She was wearing tight jeans, and a halter top that showed off her creamy skin. “Why don’t you? I’m sure we can get you a ticket. We’d have a great time!”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “Um, hello – we had to book those tickets months ago, remember? There’s no way we can get him one.”
“It’s okay, I’ve seen it,” said Seb. He crumpled up the wax paper that his taco had come in, pitching it into a garbage can. He was dryly aware that even as he was talking to the girls, part of him was scanning every aura he passed. Yes, he’d certainly given up searching – didn’t even think about it any more.
Lucy gave a little pout. “Oh. Well, will you still be here in a few days? Doing your
psychic readings
?” She bantered the words, making it clear that she didn’t believe in that stuff for a second.
“Maybe – I haven’t decided yet.” Or decided what to do with the gaping years ahead of him, either. Not wanting to think about it, he said, “Who knows, maybe I’ll give it all up and become a violinist.”
“A violinist?” Amanda nudged him. “No way, you look like you’re strictly an electric-guitar man. I keep expecting you to whip out your axe and start doing ‘Stairway to Heaven’.”
Seb held back a smile. He could never resist an opening like this. “No, my father’s a classical violinist,” he said seriously. “I guess it’s just in the blood, you know?”
She blinked. “Really?”
“Yes, I was raised on that stuff. My mother’s an opera singer. She plays too, though. Piano. She says it helps her relax, so she likes to take it on tour with her – it’s so difficult getting it on flights. Because it always has to be
her
piano; no other one will do.”
Amanda’s brown eyes had gone wide. “Wow – are you serious?”
“
No
, he’s not serious,” laughed Lucy. “Get your brain in gear, Amanda.”
The dark-haired girl made a rueful face. “Okay, you got me, Seb. So what do your parents really do?”
“Really? They run a circus training school.”
Lucy snickered. “You’re not going to get anything out of him. Don’t you remember from last night? Seb’s the original man of mystery.” She squeezed his arm, giving him an arch smile. “I bet your parents are really Mr. and Mrs. Ordinary of Boring, Mexico.”
He laughed out loud at that – if only she knew. “Yes, I think maybe you’re right,” he said.
Leaning close, Lucy traced the thin scar on his forearm, from a knife fight when he was younger. He caught a whiff of her shampoo; it smelled like oranges. “Let me guess – a swordfight with pirates, right?”
“Just a cat scratch. It was a big cat, though.” Even without the sultry pink lights shifting through her aura, Seb was very aware that Lucy was coming on to him a little. As she touched his arm, he knew without trying that she was wondering what it would be like to kiss him; planning how she could get him on his own at the hostel later.
From long habit he started to pull gently away – and then stopped. For the last year or so, the sense of his half-angel girl had grown so strong that Seb had stopped having even flings with human girls; it had felt like he was betraying her. But she wasn’t real, she never had been – he had to get that through his head. Since giving up his search he’d been even lonelier than usual; achingly aware that he was the only one of his kind. This girl didn’t want a
relationship
with him, so why not? She obviously liked him – and it had been so, so long.
As if in response, he caught the sense of his half-angel girl again, like a whiff of perfume floating past. Seb’s jaw tightened. Why couldn’t she just leave him in peace, instead of taunting him with what he could never have?
He didn’t pull away. After a moment he felt Lucy’s hand slide down his arm and find his. “Maybe you can give me a psychic reading later,” she said softly, under cover of the sound of a
mariachi
band that had just started up.
Seb took in the clear invitation in her eyes. No human girl could ever give him the true companionship he craved; he knew that. This, right here, was the most he could ever have – and he’d take it, because he wasn’t saint enough to spend the rest of his life alone, never even feeling the warmth of someone’s touch.
Fighting the wistfulness he felt, he pushed the beautiful phantom out of his mind and let his fingers close around Lucy’s. “Are you sure?” he said. “I’ll find out all your secrets.”
“Promise?” She smiled, and flipped her ponytail back. She said something else, but he didn’t hear what it was; in a sudden flash, a blinding white figure had come into view overhead. There was an angel cruising over the crowded stalls. Its wings burned in the late afternoon sunlight as it glided, gazing down at the shoppers.
Reflexively, Seb shifted his aura to the dullest colours he could think of, making it look stunted, unappetizing. He’d fought an angel only once before; he had no desire to ever do it again. “Come on, let’s go this way,” he said, pulling at Lucy’s hand. Amanda was lagging behind looking at jewellery; he took her arm too. “Come, there’s a stall over here I want to show you.”
“Hey!” protested Amanda as he dragged her off. “I was going to buy that.”
“No, don’t bother,” he said. “This stand’s better, I promise.”
Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the angel select its victim and land, so dazzling with radiance that the marketplace seemed to fade away. The man stared at the being in wonder as it reached towards him. Smiling gently, it rested its gleaming hands in his aura and began to feed.
Seb led the girls to another jewellery stand. While they stood laughing, trying on rings, he found his gaze drawn back to the angel as it finally flew away in a shudder of light. Though he no longer wanted to be pure angel himself, he couldn’t completely hold back his old longing for their strength and power, which had seemed so desperately appealing to him at thirteen. When it came to the creatures’ feeding, he had never quite decided what he felt about it. The angels hurt people and he wished they didn’t – but they also made them genuinely happy. From the readings he’d given to people with angel burn, he knew this happiness was real, even if their health was damaged. When humans hurt other humans, there was no happiness at all – just pain and misery. At least the angels gave something back. Then Seb sighed as he wondered how the man was damaged now. The issue wasn’t an easy one; he’d never resolved it in his mind.
The girls were trying on necklaces now, admiring themselves in a small mirror.
“I like the turquoise one,” said Amanda, her dark hair beside Lucy’s red.
“Really?” Lucy cocked her head to one side as she inspected herself. “I can’t decide; I like the shell one, too. Wait, are there matching earrings?”
Seb drifted to the next stall. It sold a mishmash of things: clothes, old paperbacks, CDs. He took his cigarettes from his knapsack and lit one as he started looking over the books, arranged spine-up in long, battered rows. He’d first started reading for pleasure in the measly library of the orphanage, while checking every book they had to try and find out about others like him. There’d been nothing, of course, but he’d stumbled across a story about a boy and a horse, and been hooked ever since.
Now he found a popular science title that he hadn’t read, and propped an elbow on a shelf to his side as he flipped to its opening page. Soon he was immersed.
“I’ve got some stuff to sell,” said a voice. “You buy clothes and things, right?”
Seb didn’t look up, distantly aware that the stall owner was going through a pile of goods with someone, the two of them haggling over prices. “Man, you’ve got to be kidding – this shirt alone is worth fifty pesos—”
Deciding that he’d get the book, Seb took a final puff of his cigarette and ground it out. As he glanced over, he saw the speaker was a stocky guy a few years older than himself, holding up a girl’s light blue long-sleeved shirt. Seb frowned. The sense that he was meant to be doing something tickled over him again, more strongly than ever. A price was finally agreed; the stall owner put the shirt to one side.
For some reason, Seb couldn’t stop himself – he reached for the shirt. As his fingers touched the thin cloth, he gasped a quick, stunned breath.
Familiar.
How could it feel so familiar?
Lucy came dancing up, her eyes alight. “Look, aren’t I pretty?” Squeezing his arm, she shook her head at him, showing off her new earrings. Then she glanced down at the shirt and her eyebrows rose knowingly. “Ooh, what’s that? Are you buying me a present?”
“I – uh, no,” Seb said faintly, hardly noticing she was there. He was still gripping the shirt; he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to let go of it. He watched as the stall owner examined a pair of girl’s jeans; the man pulled a small, framed photo out of the pocket and squinted at it.
“Pretty girl. I can sell the frame; the photo’s no good to me. Do you want it back?”
The stocky guy glanced at it. “Nah. How much for the frame?”
Seb’s throat went dry. Without taking his left hand off the shirt, he said, “Wait – can I see that?” and plucked the framed photo from the stall owner’s hand.
The picture was of a little girl with long blonde hair, peering up through the trailing fronds of a willow tree. For a moment, Seb almost couldn’t breathe as he looked at her smiling face; it felt like he’d been punched in the stomach.
Lucy stood staring at him; at the other end of the stall, Amanda had appeared, flipping through the CDs. “Hey, what’s wrong?” said Lucy. “I didn’t catch all of that.”
“I’ll take this,” Seb managed to get out to the stall owner. “And the shirt – how much do you want for them?”
The man gave a bemused shrug. “A hundred pesos for both? It’s a nice little frame.”
Seb dug the money out of his pocket, shoved it at him. He put the shirt and photo into his bag, zipping it tightly as if to protect them. “Where’d you get these?” he asked the stocky guy. His voice was shaking. “Who’s the girl, do you know?”
The man looked shifty suddenly. “No one in particular. Why are you so interested?”
“Because I
need to find the girl
,” gritted out Seb, each word low and distinct. “Did you steal this stuff? Where from – just tell me!”
“Hey, I’m no thief! No, it was just on the side of the road. Like someone had lost it all.”
He was lying – his aura had turned a devious mustard yellow. Seb’s muscles were trembling; he knew he was close to lunging at the guy and attacking him. He stepped closer. “Don’t lie to me, man. I’m asking you one more time – where’d you get it?”
“Seb!” cried Lucy, tugging at his arm. “God, cool it – what’s going on?” He shook her off, not taking his eyes from the thief. The man swallowed, a nervous expression on his face now.
“Look, I don’t want any trouble,” put in the stall owner. “You boys got a problem, take it somewhere else.”
“Tell me,” said Seb in a low voice, ignoring him. And he knew that his tone was the same as from the dark time when he was thirteen. He’d enjoyed fighting then; he didn’t now, but he’d have no hesitation about doing it.
He could sense the guy realizing this, coming to a decision. “You won’t find them,” he said finally. “It was hours ago – they’re gone now, okay? They were
gringos
, they’d only stopped to get some food. And that’s all I’m telling you.”
It was the truth. Seb let out a breath. Amanda was standing beside Lucy now, both of them gaping at him as if he’d gone insane. Maybe he had. “Sorry,” he muttered to Lucy, taking a step backwards. His pulse was throbbing in his ears. “I’ve got to go.”