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Authors: Lucy Gordon

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BOOK: And the Bride Wore Red
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Perhaps she had mistaken him and he wasn't as deeply involved as her, but both her mind and her heart rejected that thought as unbearable.

He returned with her and she witnessed again the immediate rapport between he and Norah as he showed her the gifts he'd chosen. For most of the conversation she stayed in the background.

‘It's not like you to be lost for words,' he teased her when they had finished.

‘I didn't want to spoil it for you two,' she teased back. ‘You get on so well, I'm beginning to feel like a gooseberry.'

‘Can you give me her address so that I can mail her present before we leave?'

She did so, and they parted, not to meet again until it was time to leave for the airport.

On the flight to Chongqing they fell into conversation with passengers on the other side of the aisle who were headed in the same direction, and before long several more joined in. Olivia brought out the catalogue showing
The Water Dragon
, the boat that would carry them down the Yangtze. It was a gleaming white cruise-liner, but smaller than an ocean vessel would be. It was ninety metres long and took one hundred and seventy passengers.

‘That sounds just right,' somebody observed. ‘Big enough to be comfortable, small enough to be friendly.'

‘Yes, it's going to be nice,' Olivia agreed. She showed the catalogue to Lang. ‘What do you think?'

‘I think the restaurant looks good,' he said prosaically. ‘I hope we get there soon. I'm hungry.'

When they landed a coach was waiting to take them the few miles to the river. Lang had fallen into conversation with an elderly lady who could only walk slowly, and he held back to assist her onto the coach, then sat beside her. Olivia settled down next to a young man who knew all about the river and talked non-stop.

At last the coach drew up at the top of a steep bank, at the bottom of which was the river, and
The Water Dragon
.

Olivia was first off and found herself swept forward by the crowd. Looking back, she saw that Lang was still helping the old lady. He signalled for her to go on without him, so she headed down the steps to the boat and joined other passengers milling around the chief steward. He gave
them a smiling welcome, and declared that he was always at their service.

‘Now I am going to show you to your cabins,' he said. ‘You will find them all clean and comfortable, but if any of you should want something of a higher standard we have two upgrades available. Follow me, please.'

Out of the corner of her eye Olivia saw Lang, still with the old lady, giving her his kindest smile. She waved and turned away to follow the steward.

The cabins were, as he'd said, clean and comfortable, but on the small and spare side. Olivia sat on her narrow bed, looking around at her neat, efficient surroundings, and felt there was something lacking. Wasting no more time, she went looking for the steward.

‘Can I see the upgrades, please?'

‘I'm afraid only one is left.'

It was a luxurious suite with a living room, bathroom and a bedroom furnished with a huge bed that would have taken three. From the corridor outside came the sound of footsteps approaching. Someone else was going to inspect the place and she had one second to decide.

‘I'll take it,' she told the steward.

He too had heard the footsteps and moved fast, whipping out a notepad and writing down her details. By the time the door opened, the transaction was complete.

‘It's taken,' he sang out.

The newcomers, a man and a woman, groaned noisily and glared at Olivia.

‘Can't we come to some arrangement?' the man demanded of Olivia. He was an oafish individual, built like an overweight walrus.

‘Sorry, it's mine,' she told him.

‘Aw, c'mon. You're on your own. What difference can it
make to you?' he demanded belligerently. ‘Here.' He flashed a wad of notes. ‘Be reasonable.'

‘Forget it,' she said firmly.

‘Let me show you out,' the steward urged.

The man glared but departed. As he left she heard him say to his companion, ‘Damned if I know what a woman alone needs with a place like this.'

It was a good argument, she thought wryly. Just what did she need with a huge double bed? She should stop being stubborn, admit that her own cabin was adequate and give up this delightful palace, possibly even take the money. That was what a sensible woman would do.

But suddenly she couldn't be sensible any more.

 

Lang, having been shown to his cabin, was also regarding it with dismay. When he'd suggested joining Olivia on the cruise, this functional little room wasn't what he'd had in mind. He considered taking an upgrade, but how was he to explain this to her? She would immediately suspect his motives, and the fact that her suspicions would be correct merely added to his problems.

But at last, annoyed with himself for dithering, he approached the steward, only to discover that he was too late. Both upgrade suites were taken.

‘Surely there must be something?' he pleaded with the steward.

But this achieved nothing. He was left cursing himself for slowness, and generally despairing.

‘You too?' said a man's voice behind him.

Lang turned and saw a large, belligerent-looking man scowling in frustration.

‘They shouldn't give those upgrades to just anybody,' he snapped. ‘We went for the top one—nothing but the best for
the missus and me—but it had already been taken by some silly woman who didn't need it.'

‘Maybe she did need it,' Lang said.

‘Nah, she was on her own, so why does she want to bother with a double bed? Hey, that's her over there in the green blouse—All right, all right.'

His wife was tugging his arm. He turned aside to squabble with her, leaving Lang in a daze.

Olivia was watching him across the distance, a slight smile on her face. He returned the smile, feeling delight grow and grow until it had stretched to every part of him. She began to move forward until she was standing in front of him, looking up, regarding him quizzically.

‘I'm not sure what to say,' he told her.

‘Don't tell me I've made you speechless?' she said, teasing and serious together.

‘You do it often.'

The oaf had seen her and turned back to resume battle.

‘Look, can't we talk…?' He fell silent, realising that neither of them was aware of him. They had eyes only for each other.

‘Oh, well,' he mumbled at last. ‘If it's like that.'

He let his wife drag him away.

Lang didn't speak, but he raised an enquiring eyebrow as though the question was too awesome to be spoken aloud.

Olivia nodded.

‘Yes,' she said softly. ‘It's like that.'

From somewhere came the sound of footsteps, calls, engines coming to life, and there was a soft lurch as the boat began its journey.

‘Let's go and watch,' he said.

She nodded, glad of the suggestion. The time was coming, but not quite yet.

Up on deck they watched as the boat glided gently into the middle of the river and started its journey downstream between the tall hills on either side. After a while they went to the rear where a blazing-red sun was beginning to set, sliding slowly down the sky.

To Olivia's eyes that setting sun seemed to be prophetic, marking the end of one thing and the beginning of another. Now she could no longer equivocate about her feelings for Lang, either to herself or to him. By seizing the chance of the upgrade, she'd given herself away, and she was filled with gladness.

No more pretence, no more hiding behind barriers that offered no real protection, no more denial that he had won her heart. She wanted to sing for joy.

‘Isn't it wonderful?' she murmured.

He was standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders. ‘Wonderful,' he said. ‘And you know what would be even more wonderful?'

She leaned back. ‘Tell me.'

He whispered softly in her ear. ‘Supper.'

She jumped. ‘What did you say?'

‘I told you I was ravenous, and that was hours ago. They must be opening the restaurant about now.'

The joke was on her. She'd thought they were going to float away in misty romance, and all he cared for was his supper. But it wasn't really a delusion; the tenderness in Lang's face as he gazed down at her told her that.

‘Let's go and eat before I fade to nothing,' he said.

‘We'll do anything you want,' she vowed.

At that moment she would have promised him the earth.

The restaurant was a cheerful place with large tables where six people could crowd, calling cheerfully across at each other. But in one corner it was different. Olivia and Lang sat at a table small enough for only themselves, speaking little,
sometimes looking out of the window at the banks gliding past in the gathering darkness.

He really was hungry, and ate as though his last meal had come. She left him to it, content to sit here in a haze of happiness thinking no further ahead than the night.

‘I meant to get that upgrade too,' he said after a while. ‘But it took me too long to pluck up the nerve.'

‘Nerve? I always thought of you as a brave man.'

‘About some things. Not everything.'

He poured her some wine before adding, ‘You've always kept me wondering and I—don't cope with that very well. In fact, I'm beginning to think I don't cope with anything very well.'

She smiled at him tenderly. ‘Do I look worried?'

‘I don't think anything worries you, Dragon Lady. You're the most cool, calm and collected person I know.'

‘It's an act,' she said softly. ‘I'm surprised you were fooled.'

‘Sometimes I was. Sometimes I hoped—Well, at first I was afraid to ask for the upgrade in case you felt I was rushing you.' He gave her a teasing smile. ‘After all, we've only known each less than two weeks.'

Less than two weeks? Had it really only been over a week? Yet a lifetime.

‘So maybe
I'm
rushing you?' she mused.

He didn't reply in words, but he shook his head.

As the diners came to the end of the meal the steward announced that they might like to gather in the bar where entertainment would be provided. The others hurried out leaving Lang and Olivia together. The steward approached, meaning to remind them cheerfully that they were missing the fun, but the words died unspoken as he became aware of the silence that united them.

Realising that they would never hear him, he moved quietly away. Neither of them knew he'd been there.

CHAPTER EIGHT

A
LONE
now, Lang and Olivia drifted up to the top deck. Darkness had fallen completely and the brilliant moon overhead showed the stark outline of the river.

Olivia had read about the Yangzte River; it was nearly four-thousand miles long and the third-longest river in the world. But nothing had prepared her for the reality.

Used to English waterways, where the sides were either gently sloping or completely flat, she was stunned by the height of these banks that loomed up almost like sheer cliffs on either side.

‘They seem to go up for ever,' she said, leaning back against Lang. ‘And they blot out everything. It's like a separate world.'

‘Do you mind that?' he murmured against her hair. ‘Do you want to go back to the other world where everything's in the right place?'

‘And always the same place every time,' she supplied. ‘Until it isn't the right place any more. No, I don't want to go back to that.'

She sighed and raised her arms up to the moon that seemed to glide in a narrow river between the high cliffs.

‘This is the world I want!' she cried. ‘The one where I belong—but I never knew it.'

Lang dropped his head and she felt his lips against her neck. Yes, this was what a part of her had always known would happen. She'd thought herself safe in the tight little box she'd constructed to protect herself from feelings. And all the time the truth had been waiting for her, ready to pounce out of the darkness, catch her off-guard and fill her with joy.

Slowly she turned in his arms and looked up into his face, which she could just see in the ghostly light. Then he lowered his head and she forgot everything as his mouth touched hers, filling her with a delight that transcended anything she'd known before. All her life had been a preparation for this moment.

Their first proper kiss in his family's home had been thrilling, but it had contained a hint of performance for an audience. Their embrace in the teahouse garden had been sweet, but still they had lacked total privacy, and it hadn't been quite perfect.

Now they were alone with the moon, the sky and the mountains, alone in the universe, and the truth that was flowering between them was for no other eyes.

His kiss was gentle, his lips moving softly over hers, awaiting her response, then growing more urgent as he sensed her eagerness. She answered him in kind, exploring to see how much she tempted him, then relaxing as the answer became gloriously plain.

He kissed her mouth for a long time before moving to her eyes, her cheeks, even her chin. He was smiling.

‘What is it?' she whispered.

‘You've got such a pretty chin. I've always thought so. I promised myself that one day I'd kiss it.'

She laughed softly and felt his lips move down her neck to the base of her throat. The sensation was so pleasurable that she gave a long sigh of satisfaction and wrapped her arms about him, drawing him as close as possible.

They held each other in silence for a long time, then he stepped back, took her by the hand and together they went below deck.

The door into the suite opened noiselessly, and Olivia locked it behind them without turning on the light. For now they needed only the moonlight that streamed in through the window just behind the bedhead.

This man wasn't like other men. Even in the bedroom he didn't rush things, but took her into his arms again, kissing her slowly, giving her time to be ready for the next step. When he deepened the kiss she was ready, opening up to him from deep inside, eager for what they would exchange.

Slowly he drew her down onto the bed. She felt his fingers moving on the buttons of her blouse until it fell open and he was helping her remove it. When her breasts were free, he touched them almost reverently before dropping his head to caress them with his lips.

Olivia sighed with satisfaction and laid her hand on his head, letting her fingers run gently through his hair, tightening them slightly as the pleasure mounted then arching against him, inviting him to explore her further. He did so, starting to pull at the rest of her clothes, but not fast enough for her. She undid her own buttons, then his, opening his shirt wide and running her hands over his chest.

She had to discern it by touch and everything she found delighted her—the smoothness, the slight swell of muscles, the faint awareness of his heart beating.

‘Tell me what you're thinking,' he murmured.

‘I want you,' she said simply.

‘I've always wanted you—is this really happening?'

‘Yes. We can have anything—everything.'

As though the words were a signal, he hurriedly removed the last of his clothes and she did the same. They had known
each other such a little time, yet they were both moved by the thought that they had been kept apart too long. Later they might talk about this, try to analyse it, but now there was only the urgency of leaping barriers, closing the distance, becoming one.

She opened her arms and he fell into them like a man coming home, loving her body and celebrating it with his lips and his hands, teasing and inciting her into an ecstasy of anticipation. Her head was spinning, her flesh thrumming with desire until at last they were united in one powerful movement, and she was claiming him as urgently as he claimed her.

She wanted it to last for ever, and for a few glorious moments anything seemed possible, but then it ended suddenly in an explosion of light and force that consumed her then threw her back to earth, gasping, reaching out into the darkness, no longer sure where she was or what was happening.

‘Olivia…'Lang's voice reached her from a thousand miles away.

‘Where are you?' she cried.

‘Open your eyes, my love. Look at me.'

She did so, and found his face close to her. Even in the darkness she could sense his profound joy, feel the smile on his lips as he pressed them against her cheek.

She lay there, breathing hard, trying to come to terms with what had happened to her. It was a loving beyond anything that she'd known in her life before, something that possessed her completely, but only because she was willing to be possessed.

‘Don't go away,' she whispered, tightening her arms about him.

‘I'm always here, if you want me.'

‘I want you,' she said passionately. ‘I want you. Hold me.'

He did so, keeping her against him while they both grew
calmer. She was suffused by a sense of well-being such as she had never known before, as though everything in the world was right. She was where she was always meant to be, in the arms of the man who had been made for her, as she had been made for him. Of that she had not the slightest doubt.

‘Do you remember what you said?' he asked softly. ‘That we could have everything?'

‘Wasn't I right?'

He shook his head. ‘No, I've just found out that it isn't possible. Because, when you think you have everything, you discover that there's something more and you'll never reach the end. There will always be something more in you for me to find. And I will always want to find it.'

She nodded slowly. ‘And I'll always want you to.'

He moved back carefully, looking down, trying to read her face in the moonlight. She smiled, and something in that smile seemed to reassure him, for he relaxed.

‘I wondered how it would be,' he murmured. ‘I knew we belonged together from the first moment we met.'

She raised an eyebrow and surveyed him with a touch of mischief.

‘Really? You were very sure of yourself.'

‘No, I was never that. You scared me. I wanted you so much that I was haunted by the fear of not winning you. I thought maybe there was another man, and when I found that there wasn't I couldn't believe my luck. I waited for you outside the school and pretended I was there as a doctor.

‘I tried to be sensible. You'd have laughed if you could have seen my mental contortions. I didn't call you for several days because I was trying not to be too obvious, but you must have seen right through me.'

‘Not quite,' she said with a memory of herself growing frustrated because he hadn't phoned.

‘I did it all wrong. I left it so long to call you that the school term came to an end and I thought you might have gone.'

‘So that's why you came and haunted the gate?'

‘And I practically kidnapped you. Didn't you notice?'

‘I can't really remember. I was too busy for distractions.'

He regarded her in dismay. ‘Really?'

She just laughed. Let him wonder.

‘I thought you might have left early,' he resumed, ‘and I'd have lost you through my own carelessness. I nearly fainted with relief when I saw you coming out of the school. After that, I did everything to make sure of you—asking you home to dinner—'

‘Asking?'

‘Yes, I didn't give you much chance to refuse, did I?' He grinned. ‘But how could I? You might really have refused, and I couldn't chance that.'

‘Then you were quite right not to take any risks. And when you
asked
me to go to Xi'an, and joined me on this boat, you didn't take chances about that, either. I barely had time to catch my breath.'

‘That was the idea. I thought I'd got it all sewn up. I was insufferably pleased with myself, so I suppose I was really asking for fate to sock me on the jaw.'

‘This I have to hear. How did it do that?'

‘I arrived to collect you and you'd gone, “for ever”.'

‘It was just an accident.'

‘I didn't know that. I thought you'd had enough of me and decided to get out fast. You might have left the country and vanished into thin air. I didn't know how to contact you in England, and I couldn't ask the school until term started weeks later. I nearly went mad.'

‘You could have texted my mobile phone.'

‘Not if you'd turned it off and blocked my calls,' he
said glumly. ‘Which you'd do if you were running away from me.'

She stared at him, astonishment at his vulnerability mingling with happiness that she affected him so strongly.

‘You've really got a vivid imagination, haven't you?' she said.

‘You arrived just in time to stop me going crazy.'

Light dawned. ‘Is that why you slammed your hand on the taxi?'

‘I had to do something. It was that or a heart attack. I'm not usually violent, it's just—I don't know—it mattered. And until then I hadn't faced how
much
it mattered.

‘But I could tell you didn't like me getting so worked up, so after that I backed off, played it cool, so as not to alarm you.'

‘I thought you were having regrets,' she whispered.

He shook his head and said in a slow, deliberate voice, ‘If there is one thing I will never regret, it is you. If I live to be a hundred I shall still say that this was the supreme moment of my life. If you leave me tomorrow, I'll still remember this as the greatest joy I ever knew. I say that with all my heart and soul. No, don't speak.'

He laid his hand quickly over her lips, silencing what she would have said.

‘Don't say anything now,' he urged. ‘I don't want you to be kind, or say what you think I want to hear. I'll wait gladly until your feelings prompt you to speak. Until then, silence is better.'

She could have said everything at that moment, gladdening his heart with a declaration to match his own. But instinct warned her that his reticence sprang from a deep need, and the kindest thing she could do for him was to respect that need.

So she merely enfolded him in her arms, drawing him close in an embrace that was comforting rather than passionate.

‘It's all right,' she whispered. ‘It's all right. I'm here.'

In a moment they were both asleep.

She awoke in the early hours to find him still lying across her in the same position. Everything about him spoke of blissful contentment.

Then he opened his eyes, looking at her. The same contentment was there, like a man who'd come home. It became a joyous, conspiratorial smile, the meaning of which they both understood. They had a shared secret.

Light was creeping in through the curtains over the window behind the bed. She pulled herself up in bed and drew the curtains back a little, careful in case they were passing another boat. But the river was empty. There was nobody to see her nakedness, so she moved up further. He joined her and they sat together at the window, watching a soft, misty dawn come up on the Yangtze, drifting slowly past.

It was like a new day in which the shapes were ill-defined, changing from moment to moment, but always beautiful, leading them on to more beauty and happiness.

Could you really start a new life like this? she wondered. Or was it nothing but a vague dream, too perfect to be true? And did she really want to know the answer just yet?

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