An Unexpected Love Story (Love Story Book Two) (17 page)

“I can see that. You seem pretty driven.”

“Yeah, well, priorities changed when Lainey’s mom left. I’m happy to have her, don’t get me wrong, but I’m still not sure how it will affect me career-wise.”

My stomach sank a little. I had to admit there was very little room for upward mobility in a town this size. The best John could hope for would be to one day be a partner or have his own little firm in a little town. Not very exciting.

“You want to move back, don’t you?”

He sighed. “I guess I kind of assume I will, you know? Like, none of this really feels that real to me yet. I keep expecting that I’ll wake up one day and things will have just gone back to normal.”

“And by normal you mean you back in Chicago, in your fancy job.”

“Yeah. But where does Lainey fit into that?”

I noted that he didn’t mention where I would fit in with his being in Chicago, but tried not to think about it. John gave me a wry smile. “So I guess you could say I’m confused. I still feel so overwhelmed by the father thing, though, so I guess it’s good I can just focus on that.”

“I could help,” I blurted out, surprising myself. I always tried to tread so carefully when it came to John’s daughter. He had said he wanted separation, and I wanted to respect that. So much for playing it cool. “I mean, with Lainey,” I said, feeling awkward. “It must be so hard for her, her whole life changing like that. I can’t imagine having to move so far away from everything I knew at that age.” Aware I was rambling, I stopped myself. “I’m pretty good with kids,” I finished, somewhat lamely.

“Thanks,” John said, patting my hand. “But I think it’s best if I give her as much consistency as I can right now.”

It wasn’t new information. He’d said basically the same thing to me from the beginning. But somehow it still made me feel sad. I tried to figure out why as John headed to the restroom. Sitting at the table alone, finishing up the last of the wine, it finally hit me. All this talk about the future and our dreams made me realize something: whatever my future was, I could see John in it. I wanted a life with him, and that included his daughter. I’d never thought much about kids, and it amazed me how easily I would be willing to accept his, if he would let me be a part of her life. For the first time, I allowed myself to picture us, together, maybe in Chicago. I was surprised by how much I wanted it to be real.

That is not what you signed up for
, I reminded myself. I tried to remember why it had seemed like such a good idea to accept John’s demands for separation in our lives. I had wanted my independence. I wanted John and my own life. The perfect solution. So why wasn’t it feeling so perfect anymore?

After John paid for dinner, we walked out to his car. It had started to snow while we ate, and John wrapped an arm around me as we walked through the swirling flakes. “This is one of the benefits,” he said, stopping at the car to look around. “Why is snow in the woods so much better than snow in the city?”

“The colors are more vibrant,” I said, pointing at the evergreens, which were now accumulating a heavy layer of powder. “And you can actually see the stars.”

“True.” John kissed me, pressing my back into the car door. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Even his kiss couldn’t dislodge the sinking feeling in my stomach. As John drove to the house I wasn’t usually allowed to stay in, I tried to shake the worry that I was about to get hurt. He had called it home, but it wasn’t, not for me. It was his home, his life. And I had no idea how I was going to fit into it.

Chapter Nineteen

“What are you doing in two weeks?”

I looked up from my ledger book to see John standing in my doorway, an excited look on his face.

“Two weeks?” I asked, confused.

“Yeah.” He came into the room and sat down in the chair across from me. “The second weekend in March.”

“Let me see.” I pulled out my planner and flipped to March. “Not much. We have a few reservations, but nothing huge. Why?”

“What would you think about a weekend away?”

I felt a rush of excitement. “Really? Where?”

“I have to go to Traverse City for work. I’ve never been before, but I hear it’s really nice. So I was thinking we could make a whole weekend of it. What do you think?”

“That sounds great,” I said. “I love Traverse City.” Of course, getting away with John would be the real draw. In the weeks since our last real date, I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with our situation. The simple fact was, I liked him way too much to have such limits placed on our time. But I also liked him way too much to think of disrupting things by pushing him.

And none of this is like you at all
, I thought wearily to myself. It was true: I never allowed myself to get this worked up over someone. I was usually the girl that took care of myself first and foremost. If something wasn’t working out, I would be the first one to move on. What had happened to me?

The best of both worlds
, I reminded myself wearily, for what felt like the hundredth time. It had become my mantra where John was concerned, my feeble attempt to convince myself that this was what I wanted. John and independence at the same time. The best of both worlds.

“Brooke? You with me?”

“Sorry,” I said, smiling up at John. “I’m just so excited at the prospect of getting out of here that I lost the ability to speak for a minute.”

John laughed. “I think it will be really great. I’ll book a room this afternoon. Do you have any hotel recommendations?”

“Ooh, yeah,” I said, brightening. “I know some good places.”

“Send me an email,” he said, standing. “I have to get back. I took off as soon as they told me about the meeting.” He came around the side of my desk. “Lunch today?”

“Sure,” I said, lifting my face for his kiss. “I’ll meet you at twelve thirty.”

After John left, I had a hard time getting any work done. Instead, I spent an inordinate amount of time trolling TripAdvisor for hotel recommendations. Traverse City was a gorgeous little town on the other side of the state. Located on two bays off of Lake Michigan, the area had some of the most natural beauty in the state. And Traverse City itself had a great little downtown area, lots of places to eat and explore, and a burgeoning winery industry. It would be a great weekend.

About half an hour before I was set to meet John for lunch, Emily called. After we chatted for a few minutes, she got down to business. “So, how’s Mr. Gorgeous?”

“He’s good,” I said, feeling the strangest urge to giggle. I really needed to get ahold of myself. “He actually just asked me to go away for the weekend.”

“Wow,” she said, sounding impressed. “That’s pretty big.”

“It is,” I agreed, not even caring if she thought I was being one of those silly girls I usually maligned.

“So have you met the kid yet?”

That stopped me short. “Not really. I mean, I met her that first day.”

“But he doesn’t involve her in your relationship?”

I bristled slightly. “No. Which is how I want it.”

“Really?” she asked, sounding surprised.

“Of course,” I said. I realized that I was trying to convince myself as much as her.
The best of both worlds
, I thought yet again. “I’m not exactly ready to become an evil stepmother, Em.”

She laughed. “I didn’t mean that. I just thought you would be spending some time with her, since you guys are getting so serious.”

“It’s not like that.” I felt downright uncomfortable now, hearing the things I had tried not to think about myself coming from my best friend. “We have a good time together,” I continued, my voice firm. “We like spending time with one another.”

Emily was quiet. “That’s enough for you?” she finally asked.

“Of course it is,” I said, not knowing why I felt so irritated. “I get Mr. Gorgeous when I want him and the space I love the rest of the time. What else could I want?”

“Well, good,” Emily said. “I’m glad it’s going the way you want. Traverse City, eh? I’m totally jealous. I haven’t been to TC in years.”

“You should come!” I said spontaneously. “You and Elliot.”

“Really?” Emily asked, surprised. “Do you really want us to?”

“Of course,” I said, meaning it. “I think it would be a blast.” I wanted Emily to meet John. I had a feeling they would get along really well, and I felt a strange need for her approval. And maybe if she saw me with him, she could help me figure out what the hell was wrong with me these days.

“I’ll talk to Elliot,” she said, sounding excited. “And you better ask John. I don’t want to crash his party without him knowing it.”

“You should ask Chris and Ashley, too,” I said eagerly. “I haven’t seen Chris since Christmas. We could do a whole group thing.”

I gave Emily the dates and we hung up. I checked my watch; I had to leave or I’d be late for lunch with John. I left my office feeling even more excited for the trip than I had before, all remaining doubts pushed firmly to the back of my mind.

* * *

The Thursday we were set to go to Traverse City dawned bright and unseasonably warm. “This is perfect weather,” I said to John as we set out from the inn. Since Lainey had school, John’s parents had come to stay at his house. When he came to get me from the inn, I did my best to bury the twinge that had accompanied his not asking me to meet his family. None of that mattered now; we were going to have a fantastic time.

“When should your friends get there?” John asked as he pulled out onto the two-lane country highway that would take us across the state.

“They were going to leave early. It’s about a five-hour drive for them, so they’ll probably get there around lunch time.”

“I probably won’t get to meet them until this evening,” he said. John had a lunch meeting for work at twelve. We would most likely only have time to check out the room before he had to leave. “Will you be okay by yourself for a few hours?”

“I think I can manage,” I said, rolling my eyes. John laughed.

“Sorry, forgot I was talking to Miss Independent over there. Have I told you how much I love that about you, by the way?”

“What, that I’m independent?”

“Yeah. That you just do your thing and don’t need anyone. It’s refreshing.”

I wasn’t sure I agreed with him. I did like to do my own thing, and I certainly could be described as independent, but I wouldn’t exactly say that I didn’t need anyone.

I thoroughly enjoyed my first road trip with John. We blasted Michael Jackson and both sang along, loudly, laughing at each other and arguing over who was the most tone deaf. John liked to play car games, and was constantly inventing guessing games and scavenger hunts for me. It was silly, easy fun, and it made me ridiculously happy.

We arrived in Traverse City two and a half hours after leaving Alpena. “Wow,” John said, as we turned onto Highway 31. “This is beautiful.”

He wasn’t wrong. Traverse City is spread out along two distinct bays on Lake Michigan. In the strong March sunlight, the bays shone a cerulean blue. “Our resort is right on the water,” I told him.

“I wish it was warm enough to swim in that,” he said, looking out over the water as we drove.

“I’ve swum in colder than this. You’re such a wimp,” I scoffed.

Our resort was lovely, exactly as it had been advertised on TripAdvisor. It was larger than anything I would want to run myself, but I couldn’t help but be jealous of their rich furnishings and luxe style. They had somehow nailed the exact north-woods chic I had always wished I could create at Murray Inn, if only my parents would relent.

“Do you approve?” John asked, watching me look around the lobby. I smiled at him.

“Very much.”

John had booked a suite for us. We had perfect views of the bay from our windows and a sliding glass door that led out to the balcony. There was a small living area with a fireplace and several overstuffed couches. I could just imagine curling up with John before bed.

Speaking of which… “This is nice,” John called out from the bedroom. “But something’s missing.”

I found him in the bedroom, standing in front of the oak sleigh bed. The mattress looked huge and beyond comfortable, and the linens and pillows were clearly top of the line. I was pleased to see a fireplace in this room as well, and could just make out a Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom.

“What’s missing?” I asked, looking around. It looked pretty perfect to me. Suddenly, John grabbed me and tossed me on the bed, making me squeal. “Hey!” I shouted as he jumped up after me, making me bounce on the mattress.

“That’s better,” he said, supporting himself on his elbows. “The room was missing a gorgeous girl on this giant bed.”

I laughed and threw a pillow at him. “Dork.”

“Hey,” he protested, pulling me on top of him and trapping my arms in his strong hands. “Throwing pillows is not nice.”

“Neither is throwing
me
,” I shot back.

John gave me a wicked little grin. “Sorry. Can I make it up to you?”

“You have to work,” I said, turning to find a clock, but John pulled me down to kiss me.

“Work can wait,” he mumbled against my mouth. “Everything can wait.”