“Then we’ll buy another suitcase,” Caitlyn said with the cavalier attitude of someone who had never worried about airline luggage constraints.
“Well, buy something special to wear tonight,” Laila told them, then grinned at Abby. “There’s a party for the family at Dillon’s house. We’re
all
meeting his family this time.”
“Oh, boy,” Abby murmured. “Does Dad know?”
“He heard the same time we did, when Nell got back upstairs last night.”
“How’d he take it?” Abby asked.
“Fortunately Megan was there to mediate before he said what he really thought,” Laila told her. “He did agree to show up, though.”
Matthew frowned at her, then turned to his cousin. “Abby, what do you really think of all this?”
“I think it’s sweet, and I think wherever it leads is entirely up to Gram.”
“Really?” he asked, his tone full of doubt.
“Really. None of us liked it one bit when she or anyone else meddled in our lives. We owe her the same courtesy. We need to back off and see how this plays out.”
“What if it ends badly?”
“That’s life, isn’t it?” Abby said. “And we’ll be there to support her, just as she’d be there for any one of us.”
Laila rested her hand on Matthew’s. “Abby’s right, you know.”
“I know,” he said. “I just don’t much like it. I feel as if we ought to try to save her or something.”
“From falling in love with an old flame?” Laila asked. “It
is
sweet. I doubt she thinks she needs saving.”
“Oh, what does she know,” he grumbled, only to have all of the adults at the table laugh.
“You did not just say that,” Abby teased. “I’m telling.”
Matthew grimaced. “Don’t you dare!”
“How are you going to stop me?”
“Want me to be the one who shares
your
news with the world?” he inquired.
Now it was Trace who chuckled. “I think he’s effectively neutralized you, Abby.”
“Afraid so,” she admitted, then turned to Laila. “
You
could tell.”
Laila held up her hands. “Not on your life. I’m Switzerland, one hundred percent neutral.”
Matthew leaned in to give her a quick kiss. “And here I thought you were going to be loyal to me forever.”
“Mostly, yes,” she teased. “But it’s not written in stone.”
“She got you, Matthew,” Caitlyn gloated.
Though it was clear the girls hadn’t followed every word of the conversation, they had quick wits and were always eager to see any member of the family one-up someone else. Their loyalty was even more suspect.
“
Et tu, et tu,
little Brutuses?” Matthew asked with feigned despair.
“What does that mean?” Carrie asked.
“It means Matthew is a big baby,” Abby declared, even as she regarded him with affection.
“And your mother is a big tease,” he countered.
Laila looked from one to the other, then to her brother. “I love this family.”
Trace smiled even as he warned, “Careful what you wish for, sis.”
That was the thing, though. She thought she was finally starting to wish for blissful happiness, and it was the man seated next to her who was going to bring that into her life forever.
10
M
atthew couldn’t explain why he’d been so thrown by the news of Abby’s pregnancy. Until recently he hadn’t given much thought to having children. Oh, he’d always assumed he would marry and have them eventually, but until he’d fallen in love with Laila, it had been more theoretical. Even when they’d discussed the subject days earlier, the idea hadn’t felt entirely real to him. He’d just been exploring the subject, testing his own idle thoughts against hers.
Suddenly this morning, sitting with his glowing cousin, her doting husband and those two little minxes from Abby’s first marriage, he’d wanted what they had. He wanted it
now,
and, more than ever, he wanted it with Laila.
As he and Laila left the hotel after breakfast to go on their own shopping expedition, he fell silent, still thinking about his unexpected reaction.
They’d gone only a block when Laila steered him toward the park across the street and found a bench bathed in sunshine. The morning air was chilly, but the warmth of the sun made it bearable.
“Sit,” she commanded.
“Have I done something wrong?” he inquired lightly. “You’ve your mistress-of-the-classroom manner about you.”
Laila smiled at that. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. You’ve just been distracted ever since we found out about Abby being pregnant. What’s that about?”
He gave her a lingering, thoughtful look, wondering if she was really ready to hear what was on his mind. “You sure you want to know?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
“Okay, then,” he said, then held her gaze. “I was envisioning you carrying our child, your skin glowing the way Abby’s was, me looking as thrilled and excited as Trace obviously is.”
She blinked at the clearly unexpected response, then sat back, silent.
“Told you you’d find it disconcerting,” he said.
“Oh, it is that,” she said eventually, then met his gaze. “Strangely enough, I can see it, too. Ever since we discussed children, the idea of having a baby has been on my mind.”
Her reply startled him. “Really?”
She nodded. “I have to admit, though, that having a little person dependent on me scares the living daylights out of me.”
“Why?”
“What if I’m no good at being a mom?”
“You will be,” he said with confidence. “What else worries you?”
“It implies a future we haven’t come close to agreeing to.”
“Matter of time,” he said, again with absolute confidence.
She eyed him curiously. “Have you given this a lot of thought?”
“Only theoretically, to be honest. Then, just now, I was sitting there enjoying my eggs, and there it was, this longing to have a family—you, kids. Who knows, maybe even a dog. I had this whole image in my head. It felt real, Laila.”
She smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Were we in that house we discussed the other day?”
“Most definitely. The kids were on the beach, the dog was running in circles around them.”
“And what were we doing?”
“Sitting on our porch with our morning cups of coffee, enjoying it all,” he said. “I felt a hundred percent content.”
“Any idea how I was feeling?”
He smiled at the curiosity behind the question. “You looked happy.” He studied her face. “How do you think you’d feel?”
“I suppose I never let myself think that far ahead.”
“Because of our situation?”
“No, not just with you, with anyone. Things were never that serious that I allowed myself to look too far into the future. I was too afraid of building up my hopes, only to be disappointed. You’ve had legions of women in your life, Matthew. I’ve dated, but until you, only one person came close to becoming important.”
“The guy you’ve said bored you silly?”
“That’s the one.”
“But you do like kids, right?” he asked, surprisingly anxious to know if they were at least on the same page about that. Otherwise it would throw a huge wrinkle in his plans. Was it a deal breaker, though, if she didn’t? He couldn’t be sure.
She smiled. “With Carrie, Caitlyn and all those other darling little O’Brien rug rats underfoot, how could I not? You guys make great babies.”
“Can’t argue with you there,” he said, relieved.
She gave him a long look. “So, this image of yours didn’t panic you?”
He shook his head. “Not a bit.”
She nodded slowly. “Good to know.”
“Laila?”
“Yes?”
“Fair warning,” he said, leveling a look directly into her eyes. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure it happens.”
She seemed a little taken aback by the certainty of his declaration, but she didn’t get up and take off. He considered that promising. Very, very promising.
Laila managed to stay outwardly calm during the rest of her morning with Matthew, but full-blown panic set in the minute she was alone in her hotel room. She called Jess and Connie.
“Bar in ten minutes,” she said to each of them. Neither one argued. Obviously her tone had communicated her state of mind.
As she sat at a corner table and waited for them, she tried to go over what she’d found most worrisome in that whole exchange with Matthew. She still hadn’t figured it out when Jess arrived, looking harried, her hair damp.
“You caught me just out of the shower,” she said. “I didn’t want to take the time to blow-dry my hair, so if I wind up with pneumonia, it’s on you.”
Laila laughed. “It wasn’t quite that urgent.”
“Well, you sounded distraught. What’s Matthew done now?”
Laila frowned at the question. Was she so predictable that all her crises these days were Matthew-related? “Why do you assume it has anything to do with Matthew?”
Jess rolled her eyes. “Sadly, panic is almost always related to a man.”
“Isn’t that the truth?” Connie agreed, joining them.
Laila sighed. “I need a drink.”
“First backup from us, now a drink,” Connie said. “It’s definitely about Matthew.”
Laila wondered why she’d thought they’d be any help at all. They were O’Briens, after all, albeit Connie had married into the family, and fairly recently at that.
“She’s regretting calling us,” Jess said with a grin.
“I am,” Laila agreed.
“When the problem’s with an O’Brien, who better to talk you through it?” Jess said. “Except maybe my husband the shrink. Want me to get Will down here? He was a little disappointed not to be invited.”
“Men, even shrinks, are not what I need around right now,” Laila replied.
Jess called over the waiter, ordered a bottle of white wine, then looked at Laila and waited.
“I think she expects you to start talking,” Connie prodded.
Laila knew she couldn’t reveal how the subject of babies and kids had come up, so she finally said simply, “He’s talking about children.”
Both of her friends regarded her blankly.
“I’m not seeing the problem,” Jess said.
Connie laughed. “I am. Laila hasn’t quite wrapped her head around the idea of a relationship, and now Matthew’s taken a giant leap forward. I felt the same way when Thomas raised the subject again just after we talked about it the other day. It came up out of the blue that very same night. Is this some family hot topic these days?”
“Could be,” Laila replied, careful to keep her tone neutral. “So, are you seriously considering it now? Jenny’s just gone off to college. You’re finally free to do whatever you want.”
“I think what I want is to have a baby with Thomas,” she admitted, her eyes sparkling. “Truthfully, we haven’t been doing anything to prevent it, if you know what I mean. I figured I was past the point of worrying about getting pregnant.”
“So, even before Thomas brought up the subject, you could have gotten pregnant?” Laila asked. “The risk was a pretty big thing to ignore, wasn’t it?”
“I figured I’d leave it in God’s hands,” Connie said defensively. Her cheeks turned pink. “But ever since the subject came up the other day, we’ve been trying.” She grinned. “A lot.”
Jess chuckled. “Lucky you.”
“The process definitely has its perks,” Connie agreed, then gestured toward her untouched glass of wine. “Which is why I’m not drinking that,” she added sadly. “But let’s focus on Laila’s issue. Do you want to have kids?”
“Sure, sometime,” Laila said.
“With Matthew?” Jess asked.
“There’s nobody else in my life,” she responded.
“That wasn’t really the question,” Jess said impatiently. “When the prospect of a family comes to mind, do you see Matthew in the picture?”
She gave the question some thought, tried to see that image Matthew himself had described earlier, then nodded. “Yeah, I do. Is that insane, or what? Do you really think he’s Dad material?”
“I do, and it would only be insane if you didn’t love him,” Connie said. “Since you do, it makes perfect sense to me.”
“Agreed,” Jess said.
“Neither of you even batted an eye just then,” Laila said. “Are you that sure I’m in love with Matthew and that he loves me?”
“Looks that way from where I’m sitting,” Jess said.
“Me, too,” Connie added. “Why do you still have doubts? Is it because of this whole mess with your father?”
“I suppose that’s part of it,” Laila conceded. “Even though he drives me insane, he
is
still my father. I’ve always respected him, and he seems a hundred percent certain that what’s going on with me and Matthew is wrong.”
“Maybe that’s because you acted as if it were,” Jess reminded her gently.
“The whole secrecy thing,” Laila concluded.
“It was definitely a mistake,” Connie told her. “Thomas and I tried the same thing, but fortunately a few people caught on to what was happening and dragged us out of the closet. Ironically, Mick’s the one we really have to thank for that. He insisted Thomas not treat our relationship as if it were something to be ashamed of. Right after that we got Nell’s blessing, and that was that.”
“I suppose letting my parents be the last to know didn’t help, either,” Laila said, then waved off the topic. “Too late to change any of that now.”
“If your father’s blessing matters that much to you, you could always go to him and lay your cards on the table. Tell him you and Matthew are in love, that it’s serious. I think that’s what Will would advise,” Jess said. “He’s very big on full disclosure.”
Laila nodded slowly. “I’ll think about it.” The truth was, though, that she wasn’t sure she wanted to count on anything from her father anymore. Ignoring him seemed like the only way to move forward with her life. She had no idea if that was childish, or if it was the only rational, mature way to deal with the reality of his disparaging view of her. Oh, he loved her in his fashion. She simply didn’t measure up in his eyes to the son and heir he’d wanted to take over the bank.
Jess took a sip of her wine, studying Laila over the rim of her glass. “So you and Matthew with kids, huh?”