An Impossible Dilemma: A Psychological Thriller Novel (24 page)

“I see.”

“Would that be a problem?”

“Guess not—I don’t need a massive house like this one and it wouldn’t affect what I have in mind.”

“Which is?”

“Extending Dad’s farm. I’d be able to stay there while I convert one of the disused barns. You still have the butchery and the outhouses, don’t you?”

“I guess so. That’s Frank’s domain, I’m afraid. I don’t have a lot to do with the farm.”

“Would you mind if I have a quick squizz round?”

“No! I mean, I’d rather you wait until Frank’s back. Why don’t I call you tomorrow, once he’s home? He has the keys and everything.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he said. “I was shocked to hear about Johnny. He was a great bloke. We were best friends growing up.”

I sighed, nodding. “Thanks. I’d forgotten you knew him. How’s it feel to be home after all this time? Were you in Ireland long?”

“Sixteen years in total. We stayed with Maria’s parents for the first few years, then Maria and I bought a run-down farm just over ten years ago. We were able to turn it around and we sold it off for a decent profit, even with the recession.

“That was lucky.”

He nodded. “I’m sure my mum’s told you all about my marriage.”

“She did mention it.”

He slapped his thigh and laughed. “I bet she did more than that. She can be very vocal when she’s a mind to, and makes no secret of the fact she hates Maria.”

I shrugged. “She just cares about you, that’s all. You’re lucky. My mum died when I was a kid so I’ve never really had that kind of maternal concern, but I do envy it.”

“She’s not a bad old girl. And to be honest with you, it wasn’t all her doing. Maria’s a very hard woman to deal with, very self-centred. Mum read her like a book as soon as she laid her eyes on her.”

I yawned behind my hand. “I’m sorry—but I’m gonna have to get some sleep.”

He jumped up. “Of course. So I’ll hear from you tomorrow?” He picked up both cups and walked into the kitchen and placed them in the sink.

“You will.”

“Great. I’ve enjoyed our chat, Victoria.” He held his hand out towards me and I took it. Our eyes locked, and the electricity that passed between us shocked me. I snatched my hand away a little faster than I meant to.

Chapter 33

I ran a bath and had a long relaxing soak, but it didn’t even begin to relax my mind. I couldn’t shake the image of Alex’s body in that bin. I had no idea what I was going to do about it.

No way could I butcher him and feed him to the pigs on my own. I’d have to speak to Frank, but whatever we decided, we’d have to be quick if Michael wanted to have a look around.

The sounds of Steph and Emily arriving home, giggling and squealing, made me groan. I really wasn’t in the mood for high spirits right now. There was already enough noise going on inside my head.

I slid further down in the bath, filling my ears with water in an attempt to shut out the world for a while longer.

When I finally went downstairs, I found them in the snug making Christmas cards. They had hundreds of pieces of card, bits of ribbon, stars, glitter and glue strewn all over the carpet.

“Oh, hello. I thought you were being quiet,” I said.

“Mummy!” Emily jumped up off the floor and ran to me.

“We thought you were in bed,” Steph said.

“I had a bath.”

“You must be shattered. How’s Frank?”

“He’s awake now, and he should be home tomorrow.”

“Yay!” Emily said.

“Are you girls all right if I go and have a lie down?”

“Course we are. We were going to get some fish and chips for tea. Do you want some?”

I hesitated. “No, I don’t think so. I’m not hungry.”

“Have you eaten today?”

I shook my head.

“One large portion of fish and chips for you then, and no arguments. I’ll bring it up later.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Whatever.”

***

The next morning I got up early to do the rounds with the animals and collect a pile of eggs.

It was Sunday morning, so nobody asked about Alex as I normally did the Sunday rounds. I made some breakfast before calling the hospital. They said Frank could come home.

“Okay Em, do you want to come to get Grandad with me?”

“At hospital?”

“Yes, if you hurry up and get ready. We’ve got to go,” I said.

“Okay.” Emily reached for her shoes and sat on the rug to put them on.

“You got any plans today, Steph?”

She smiled.

“Go on,” I said

“I’m seeing Steve again. We had a good time yesterday didn’t we, Em?”

“Yes, and we went for a drive in his new car. He said it was a new car but it was really an old one,” she whispered the last part.

“Didn’t you like it, Em?” I laughed.

“I liked it, but it wasn’t new. I think he was tricking.”

“You still haven’t told me properly what happened with Frank,” Stephanie said.

“Can I tell you later?” I nodded at Emily.

“Oh,” she mouthed, and nodded.

Although Frank looked much better than yesterday, he still wasn’t right.

“Are you sure he’s okay to come home?” I asked the nurse as she brought us a wheelchair to transport Frank to the car.

“He’s been discharged, so the doctor must think so,” she said.

“I’m fine. I just need to get out of here.”

“Can I push you, Grandad?”

“He’s too heavy for you, Em,” I snapped.

“No, he’s not. I’m better again.”

She obviously felt different every time we topped up her Proteum, even though her symptoms hadn’t been as bad this time.

“Do you? That’s good.”

“So can I push him?”

We were halfway up the corridor. I stopped and lifted my hands off the handle. “Fine, you push.” I was aware I was snapping but my nerves were all of a jangle and I really couldn’t help it.

She hardly got him a foot further before she gave up.

“What? Too heavy?”

“Yes,” she said, defeated.

“Come on, we’ll do it together,” I smiled.

I let her stand in between me and the wheelchair and helped her push Frank, making it twice as hard for me, but it made her feel as though she was helping.

Once in the car I mentioned to Frank about the visit from Michael.

“That would work, especially now,” he said.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought, but we have a slight problem.”

“What’s that?”

I glanced at Emily in the rear view mirror. She didn’t seem to be paying any attention but I couldn’t trust that. “He wants to check out the butchery and the outhouses.”

“Oh.”

“I lit the incinerator yesterday, but there’s still the problem of the pig food to sort out.”

“I getcha.”

“I said I’d call him once you’re home but I guess we can put him off for a couple of days.”

“We’ll sort something out, lass.”

“It’s so good to have you back, Frank. You frightened the life out of me.”

“I can imagine.”

“Imagine what, Grandad?”

“I was just telling him how worried we were when he hurt his head.”

Back home. Frank lay on the sofa, exhausted. Steph had gone out and Emily went to make some more Christmas cards in the snug.

“So what happened?”

“It was awful, Frank. You fell, and Alex was screaming. He got hold of me and we fought. At least I think we did, although he didn’t do much—he just wouldn’t let go. I slammed him into the wall and impaled his head into one of those nasty hooks. I managed to get him into the bin but I couldn’t chop him up. There’s no way, Frank.”

“We need to get him to the pigs.”

“Whole?”

“I guess. When were they last fed?” he asked.

“Friday.”

“They’ll be starving. We’ll have to do it soon.”

“You’re going nowhere. I’ll do it.”

“If you tie the bin to the tow bar of the truck and drive very slowly, it should work.”

“I nodded. “Okay—I’ll do it now. Are you all right to watch Emily?”

“Of course, but I’d rather help you. Are you sure you can do this alone?”

“There’s no one else to look after Emily, and I’d rather do it while Steph’s not here.”

“Okay.”

I got a set of disposable overalls, my farm boots, and a length of rope from the garage. I didn’t relish what needed to be done, but I had to think of it as a piece of meat—just an animal carcass. Lord knows, I’d had to dispose of enough of them in my time as a vet.

When I got over to the butchery, I climbed into the overalls and tied an old rag around my face. I took a deep breath before entering.

The smell hit me like a freight train. I couldn’t bear it. I spun away and back through the door, slamming it behind me. It was much worse than I’d imagined, but I had no choice. I had to do this.

Bracing myself once again, I entered, glad I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I grabbed the bin and wheeled it easily to the door and out into the open, but I couldn’t leave it like that. I needed something to place in the top of the bin.

Rummaging around in the disused shed, I found an old tarpaulin in the far corner. It was full of cobwebs and spiders, which would have freaked me out a few months ago. Now I took it all in my stride—it would take a lot more than a few hairy spiders to scare me now.

I stashed the faded yellow tarp into the top of the bin and wheeled it around to the back of the truck, tying the handle of the bin to the tow bar with the rope.

I took my time towing the bin. It wasn’t far, around eight hundred metres. But the large chunks of gravel that made up the majority of the road surface would have made it a nightmare to pull the bin by hand.

The pigs must have smelled the decaying corpse, because they were squealing before I got anywhere near them. I wished I could turn my ears off. The sound brought visions to my mind, visions of a hairy foot and yellow toenails. I felt woozy.

There was no way I could lift Alex’s body over the top of the sty, and no way I’d want to. That meant I had to unlock the side gate and push the bin inside, which was easier said than done. The gate hadn’t been opened in a while, and the bolt was shut tight.

I found a large screwdriver in the truck and bashed the bolt a few times, which seemed to loosen the rust enough for me to release it.

The pigs were going bonkers by now. I pushed the bin through the gate and twisted the handle as hard as I could until it eventually tipped onto its side. The awful sounds that followed as the pigs tucked into their feast will stay with me forever.

I left it like that. The bin could be removed later. Tomorrow, even. I just needed to escape the gruesome sounds and the revolting stench.

I stripped off the overalls and stopped once more at the incinerator before returning to the butchery block, where I gave everything one last hose down.

Once satisfied, I returned home.

I met Emily in the hallway. “Ew, Mummy, what’s that stink?” she said, holding her nose.

“I fell in the pigsty.” I ran up the stairs to the sound of Emily’s laughter.

Then I stood under the jets of the shower until the water ran cold.

After drying myself, I put on my fluffy white robe and slippers and went for a lie down on my bed, relieved it was all done, and positive it was the very last time I’d do anything like that again.

I must have fallen asleep as I woke to the sound of deep voices. My heart leapt out of my chest. Who the hell was here?”

I crept from the bedroom. The voices had faded slightly and were now coming from the snug. I found Emily sitting at the dining table, colouring.

“Who’s here, Em?” I whispered.

“Uncle David and another man.”

“Shit!” I said. “Sorry for swearing, Em.” I ran back upstairs, annoyed with myself for not calling them to put them off.

I threw on a pair of tatty jeans and a bright pink breast cancer t-shirt, then rushed back downstairs. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before walking into the snug.

“Oh, hi, you two. Sorry, I meant to call you.”

Dave got up and embraced me but I quickly pulled away, paranoid I still stank.

“Frank’s not up to a tour of the farm today—doctor’s orders. He has to rest for a few days.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Michael said. “We were passing and just called in to see how the invalid is doing.” He smiled, and my stomach did a little twirl. “Anyway, I only want to have a look at the butchery. I could go myself.”

“No!” Frank and I said together.

Michael and Dave seemed taken aback.

“We can’t find the keys,” Frank said. “Jonathan had them last and we’ll have to look for them.”

“Okay, no hurry,” Dave said. “We’re only throwing a few ideas around anyway, Frank. Mike wants to buy into a farm and I told him you may be selling. Makes sense for him to look at this because it would only mean a boundary change rather than a full subdivision.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” Frank said. “If you can just give us a couple of days for me to get back on my feet, then we can look into the ins and outs of it.”

“Course we can. Okay, we’ll leave you to it. Lyn will have the dinner on the table by now and is probably cursing us anyway.”

They both stood up and I walked them to the front door.

“Thanks, lass,” Dave said. “He does look a bit peaky, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he’s been overdoing it and needs to take a bit more care—he’s had to help out a lot more since Jonathan died. It would be fantastic to lose the farm responsibilities and to be able to look after him again.”

“He’s lucky to have you, lass.”

“I’m the lucky one. God knows where I’d be without him.”

I waved them off and went back through to Frank.

“How did it go, lass?”

“I did it. The pigs seemed to jump on him—they were starving. I hope they finish the job off.”

“They should. If not, we’ll sort it tomorrow. No one will be going near there before then.”

“I hope not. Can I get you something to eat?”

“If you’re making something.”

“I need to feed Emily, so…”

“Shall we call for a pizza? You look done in,” he said.

“I am, to be honest. Yeah, let’s do that, and then I’m having an early night.”

Stephanie arrived home as we were tucking in to a meatlovers, Franks favourite, and a Hawaiian, Emily’s favourite. I had no appetite and spent most of my time picking the ham off, my stomach lurching at the idea.

“Frank—you’re home!” Steph rushed in and hugged Frank from behind, kissing the top of his head.

“Grab a plate, Steph. Takeaways again, I’m afraid,” I said.

“Yum, just the ticket for a Sunday dinner.”

“I didn’t expect you home this early.”

“I thought you might need some help, but you look like you have everything under control.”