An Affair of the Heart (14 page)

Helen picked up
the telephone and rang Alex Williams. She heard the message on his
answer phone and waited impatiently for it to finish. After the
beep she said, “Alex, its Helen. I’m coming over. I’ll be there in
about an hour. I’ve got some information on your missing money. I
now know who stole it. And I think you’ll be very surprised when I
tell you who it was.”

Robert McCord
was sitting in his office when his phone rang. He was busy
preparing his reply to the expected investigation by the Law
Society. Unlike Brian Morgan, he was less positive about the
outcome. He picked up the phone and wedged it between his chin and
shoulder, still concentrating on his letter.

“Hello?” he
said, not really paying attention.

There was a
slight pause, and then a timid voice said, “Hello, Robert?”

The voice
sounded very familiar. In fact it was so familiar it startled him,
and the phone fell from his shoulder and bounced on the floor as
the cord stretched. He quickly grabbed for it, and brought it back
up to his ear. “Hello?” he said again, his attention all focused
now. “Who’s that?”

“It’s me,” the
female voice said. “I heard a funny noise. Are you alright?”

Robert
swallowed. He could feel the sweat breaking out on his skin. “I
dropped the phone,” was all he could say. He quickly pulled himself
together and demanded, “Look, who is this? Because if this is a
joke, I don’t think it’s very funny!”

“I’m sorry,”
the voice said after a pause. “It’s Rachel. Rachel Carter. You
know, your client.”

“Oh, Rachel!”
Robert repeated the name with sudden recognition. He rubbed his
forehead and breathed out slowly as the tension suddenly left
him.

“Yes. Did you
think I was somebody else?” Rachel was saying on the phone. “I
didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No! It’s
nothing! It’s just that –Are you still at the hospital?”

“No, I’m
outside in a telephone box in the square.”

Robert stood up
and went to the window. “Show me,” he said. Down in the
semi-darkness of Lincoln Square, a figure emerged from the
telephone box and waved.

“Can you see
me?” Rachel asked.

“Yes, I can see
you. I’m coming down. Don’t move, Rachel. Okay?” He didn’t wait for
her to answer. He put the phone down, grabbed his jacket, switched
everything off and left.

Rachel waited
in the telephone box. She felt like her heart was in her mouth. She
had hardly been able to answer him when she had heard his voice.
And now he was coming to see her. At last they would meet.

The door of the
office building opened and Robert McCord hurried quickly across the
square towards her. As he came closer, Rachel almost had the urge
to run to meet him. But she stood her ground, and waited for him.
He came to stand in front of her, staring at her, his hands on his
hips.

“What the hell
are you doing out of hospital?” he demanded in obvious amazement.
“Are you nuts, or something?”

“I wanted to
meet you,” Rachel said. She felt sort of deflated.

Robert
scratched his head. “You wanted to meet me?” he repeated. He looked
around the square in exasperation. “Your mother’s gonna kill me!”
Then he suddenly stepped forward and took her hand. “Come on!” he
said, leading her across the rest of the square at a brisk
walk.

“Where are we
going?” she asked as she trotted along behind him.

“Somewhere warm
to have a quiet talk!” he replied, and he led her into a small pub
on Queen Street that faced the square. It was called The Rising
Sun.

Rachel was led
to an empty table and plonked down in a chair. “Wait there!” Robert
said, as he went to the bar.

Rachel was
suddenly left on her own. She brushed her hair back into place and
pushed her glasses back up her nose. She had a quick look around.
It was only a small pub, and it was probably half full of people.
Some of them were looking at her, and she suddenly felt very
self-conscious.

This was not
going the way she had imagined it at all. And it had been so
promising at the beginning. She was sure that he recognised her
voice on the phone. She could almost hear him panic. And he
admitted that he had dropped the phone. He must feel the same as
her! He had to!

Robert came
back with two drinks and sat next to her. “Here’s an orange juice
for you,” he said, handing her the glass. “Because I guess you’re
still on medication. And a Scotch for me, because right now, I damn
well need it!” He raised the glass to his lips just as Rachel
plucked up enough courage to say what was bursting in her mind.

“That’s because
you thought I was Sarah on the phone.”

Robert nearly
choked. He spat out some of the whisky, and wiped his mouth
quickly. One or two people in the pub laughed, and the barman
called out, “Scotch too good for you is it? Maybe you should have
stuck to Bourbon!” More people laughed, but Robert just waved it
aside with a wry smile. It was obvious that he was well known in
the pub. As the laughter died away, he turned back to Rachel.

“Are you trying
to kill me?” he asked her.

Rachel ignored
his remark and pressed on. She had come this far; she couldn’t hang
back now. “I’m right, though, aren’t I? You thought I was Sarah!
That’s why you dropped the phone! You feel it too!”

Robert lied.
“You just sounded the same, that’s all. And what do you mean, feel
it? Feel what?”

Rachel reached
out and grabbed his hand, and before he knew it, she hugged it to
her chest. “That’s Sarah’s heart!” she said. “Can you feel it
beating so fast? That’s because of you! I know it is! You must feel
the same, Robert! You must!”

There was a
long pause. Rachel saw the startled look on Robert’s face turn to
one of embarrassment. Other people in the pub were staring at them.
She suddenly felt embarrassed too, and let go of his hand. Robert
snatched it quickly away.

Robert downed
the remains of his drink in one gulp. He rubbed his face, and
stared at the young woman in front of him, her head down now, and
her face hidden behind a curtain of dark brown hair.

“Alright,
Rachel,” he said to her. “You’ve got my attention. Talk to me.”

Rachel looked
up. He seemed so attentive, sitting there, watching her, waiting
for her to tell him everything. And what was she going to tell him?
Foolish nonsense, that’s what. Sitting here in the pub, facing him
at last, Rachel suddenly realised how silly it all was. And
yet...

“You’ll think
I’m silly,” she said at last, and as soon as she spoke, she could
feel her face begin to glow. She was blushing again, and she could
do nothing to stop it. She quickly lowered her head, hiding her
face once more.

“It’s alright,”
Robert said. “I’m not going to think you’re silly, no matter what
you tell me. It’s obviously important to you, or you wouldn’t have
come all the way here. So don’t be nervous, just have a drink,
relax, and tell me everything. Okay?”

Rachel looked
up again, and Robert gave her such a friendly grin, she had to
smile back. “Okay,” she said, softly. She picked up the orange
juice and took a quick sip, feeling the juice cold on her lips. And
taking a deep breath, she calmly and carefully told him the
lot.

“You must feel
the same!” Rachel said at the end. “Even when I heard your voice on
the phone, I was sure! I was, Robert! And you thought it was her on
the phone, too! You thought I was Sarah! Didn’t you?”

Robert had
listened intently, not saying a word until she had finished. Now he
held up his hand. “Now hold on a minute. Let me just go over this,
okay?” he said, and he began to count the points off on his
fingers. “First, you’ve got Sarah’s heart. That’s not in question.
Second, you say you feel restless, like you need to do something,
or go somewhere. And third, you say it reacts to my picture, but
not to a picture of her husband?”

Rachel nodded.
“That’s right!” she said. “And everybody keeps telling me how well
I’m doing, as if the heart is eager to get better and do
something!”

“Do you believe
in ghosts?” Robert asked her out of the blue.

“No, it’s not a
ghost.”

“I’m glad you
said that.”

“No, it’s more
like Sarah’s soul, or an essence of her, is still here.”

Robert didn’t
reply. Rachel was beginning to feel that he didn’t believe her, so
she went on quickly, “The more I find out about Sarah, the more
things seem to make sense. I don’t know what other heart transplant
patients feel. Maybe what I’m going through is quite common. Then
again, maybe I’m just being over sensitive, and a bit silly.”
Rachel paused for a moment before saying, “Oh, I don’t really know
what I’m thinking or feeling anymore!”

Robert toyed
with the empty glass on the table. He still didn’t reply. He wasn’t
looking at Rachel either. He just looked down at the empty glass he
fiddled with. Rachel felt utterly dejected.

“You don’t
believe me, do you?” she said at last. “You don’t feel anything,
either. I am just being silly, aren’t I? Just imagining it all,
like some silly fantasy!”

Robert looked
up at her. “No,” he said firmly, and he shook his head. “You’re not
imagining it. When I picked up the phone, it was Sarah’s voice I
heard. Not someone who sounded like her, it was her voice. Exactly.
And I have to admit; I’ve been avoiding you. Maybe not consciously,
but I have. When your mother asked me yesterday, I did have the
time, but I lied and told her that I didn’t.”

“But why?”

Robert sat back
in the chair and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really know. I
guess, maybe, it’s because there was something I had to tell Sarah,
something that I was always putting off, and being near you
would’ve remind me of it.”

“Tell me!”
Rachel suddenly demanded, leaning forward over the table.

“Why? It
doesn’t matter now.”

“But it does!
Maybe that’s why I feel so restless! Maybe it’s exactly what she
needed to hear!”

“I thought you
said you didn’t believe in ghosts.”

“Who was that
you said you heard on the phone, again?” was Rachel’s quick
reply.

Robert laughed
and they both smiled at one another. After a few moments he leaned
forward and looked closely at Rachel’s face. It unnerved her
slightly, and she moved back.

“Take off your
glasses,” Robert suddenly asked her.

“What?
Why?”

“Never mind.
You can put them back on again. Just take them off for a moment.”
Rachel hesitated. “Go on,” he said again. Rachel took off her
glasses and Robert moved a little closer, staring into her eyes.
“Blue eyes,” he said in a whisper, and sat back in his chair again.
“You can put them back on now,” he told her.

Rachel put her
glasses back on and said, “Sarah had blue eyes, too. Didn’t
she?”

Robert didn’t
answer at first. Instead he just looked around the pub with a wry
smile on his lips. He seemed to do this quite often, and it
reminded Rachel of a schoolboy caught smoking behind the bike
sheds. It was rather annoying. Her mother would have called him
shifty.

“Alright,
Rachel,” he said at last. “I’m going to tell you some things. I
don’t really know why, but I’m going to anyway. But before I do,
you tell me where you think we’re going from here? Okay? Do you
have visions of us going off into the sunset, hand in hand? Because
if you do, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it ain’t going to
happen.”

Rachel’s bubble
had suddenly burst. “But, didn’t you feel anything?” she said,
sadly. “Not even when you felt my heart, Sarah’s heart, beating in
my chest?”

Robert shook
his head. “What I felt was a beautiful young woman’s chest, and a
heart inside that was beating real fast. It was nice, and I’m sure
at that moment there wasn’t a man in the place who wouldn’t have
swapped places with me. But that’s all I felt. You are beautiful,
Rachel. But I hardly know you. And I don’t really think that a long
term relationship can be founded on the basis that you now have the
heart of the woman I once loved.”

Rachel couldn’t
think of anything to say. Robert had dispersed any fantasy she
might have had in a calm and logical manner. “But what about the
voice on the phone?” she finally managed to say.

Robert gazed
around the room again before replying. “I don’t know about that,
Rachel. All I know is, Sarah’s dead. And there’s nothing I can do
about that now. Yes, her heart’s still alive. I could feel it
beating like mad in your chest. But Sarah’s still dead. She’s
gone.” He stopped speaking abruptly. And just as abruptly he
started again. “Look, I don’t want this to sound harsh,” he said.
“But it’s got to be said. Whatever ghost or soul you feel, I don’t
feel it. Okay? I’m not saying that you don’t feel it. Just that I
don’t. I admit; the phone call threw me. And since she died I’ve
not slept too well, either. And I guess I’ve felt all the usual
things. I’m sad and I’m hurting. And I miss her. There are things I
wanted to say to her, and things I’m still frightened to say to
her. And to cap it all, I’m kind of frustrated and let down by all
this legal stuff, too. But that’s all. No strange dreams or voices,
nothing.”

“But you said
that you avoided me. Why would you do that if you didn’t feel
something?” Rachel almost pleaded.

“That’s guilt,
Rachel!” Robert said rather too forcefully. He immediately felt
sorry, and repeated more calmly, “Just guilt.” Rachel stared at him
in silence, suddenly aware that Sarah’s death had hurt him far more
than she had realised. She felt very sorry for him. On impulse she
reached out and held his hand. “You better tell me,” she said. “I
want to know, I need to know. And I think you need to tell
someone.”