Amish Sweethearts (2 page)

Lila turned to the sound of a buggy coming up the driveway. “He’s early.”

“Who’s early?”

“Reuben.”

Zane’s heart fell. He’d been foolish to try and talk with her.

Lila turned back toward him, started to say something, stopped, and then said, “Just a minute.”

She stepped to the driveway and called out a hello to Reuben. He pulled the horse and buggy up beside her and then waved. “What do you need?” he shouted to Zane.

“I was hoping to talk with Lila.”

“Go on inside,” Lila said to him. “There’s a pie on the counter for you—banana cream.”

Zane called out, “It’ll only take a minute.”

Lila turned toward him and shook her head. “Nothing with you only takes a minute.”

Zane swallowed. He hated it when Lila was snippy. But he deserved it. “It really won’t take long,” he said. “I promise.”

Without responding, Lila turned back to Reuben. Zane looked away, not wanting to witness an intimate glance between them. Or a mutual one of annoyance—with him.

But then Reuben called out to Zane again, saying, “All right.”

Zane waved and Reuben urged his horse on toward the hitching post as Lila stepped toward the gate.

Zane held it open for her and motioned down the field toward their old fort.

She shook her head. “Let’s talk here.” She pulled the gate shut, staying on her side.

Zane leaned over the top rail, toward her. He tried to keep the hurt from his voice. “So are you and Reuben
officially
courting?”

Lila rammed her fists into the pockets of her apron. “We’re going to go for a ride.”

Zane stood up straight. “Who else would you court, right? Everyone’s always wanted the two of you to get together.”

Lila didn’t respond, but he knew he was right. “Would you at least walk with me?” His muscles tightened as he spoke.

She met his eyes. “Just tell me what you want.”

He exhaled. “I’d thought taking some time apart would be good—so we both could see how we felt. But I missed you a lot. Even more than I thought I . . .”

She pursed her lips.

“I had this idea that maybe you could come to Michigan too.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “There are Amish communities there,” he quickly added. “I thought maybe you could get a job at a shop or something.”

“Why?”

His face grew warm. “So we’d be closer.”

Lila shifted her weight, leaning away from him. “And then what?”

He shrugged. “I thought we could figure it out . . .”

“Figure it out?” Her voice escalated. “What is there to figure out?”

“I thought . . .” Zane swallowed. “I thought maybe we could . . .”

She stepped back and crossed her arms.

He swung the gate open again. “Please walk with me. I don’t want your whole family to hear us.” Most importantly, he didn’t want Reuben to hear.

She hesitated a moment but then passed through, just as she had countless times before.

As they walked, Zane said, “Are you and Reuben planning
to marry soon?” She was only seventeen—young even for an Amish girl. But she could easily marry in a year or two.

“Does it matter?” she asked, her eyes focused on the poplar trees ahead of them.

Zane cleared his throat and then said, “I’ve been thinking.” She’d often teased him about his
thoughts
, but she’d always been willing to listen to them. “About my future. About you. About us . . .”

When they reached the trail to the fort, he gestured for her to go first, but she shook her head. He reached for her right hand.

“Lila,” he said as his other hand fell to the small of her back. He pulled her close. She didn’t pull away.

Time stopped. This was where they belonged. Through the gate, between their homes. Just as it had been all these years.

His heart raced. “Come to Michigan with me.”

She pulled away. “That’s impossible.”

Why had he bothered to try? He didn’t have a chance with Lila. Whatever they’d had was over. He couldn’t stand the thought of her marrying. He had to get away from Juneberry Lane, the sooner the better. He couldn’t stay and watch her court Reuben—not even for the summer.

Lila rubbed her palms together. It had felt so good to have her hand in Zane’s again—for a split second. But she’d come to her senses. She couldn’t court Reuben with Zane around. He needed to go to Michigan, without her. The sooner the better. Her only hope to get him out of her heart was to get him out of her life.

She tipped her head away from him. She’d never felt so
ferhoodled
. And Zane had frustrated her plenty of times before.

Lila’s mother hadn’t left the Amish, not even when she became pregnant by an
Englisch
man. Not even after she had
Lila and Daniel. Lila would never leave either. She couldn’t disappoint her father like that, not the man who had raised her even after her mother died. She would never do that to her Dat, not after everything he’d done for her. She’d never do it to her mother’s memory either. Both her parents would want her to join the church.

She must be strong, like her mother, and let Zane go.

He bent toward her. “Do you still think about
uns
?”

Her eyes began to swim. He’d used the Pennsylvania Dutch word for
us.
She’d taught him that word, along with every other word she could think of until he was fluent in her language. How dare he use it now?

Anger overcame her sadness. She blinked her tears away. “There is no
us
. Don’t you get it?” The force behind her words surprised her. “We weren’t meant for anything more than childhood friends. We’re grown now. It’s over.”

Zane stepped back from her outburst.

Without meeting his eyes, she said through clenched teeth, “Go away. To Michigan. Or somewhere else. The farther the better.”

He balled his hands into fists. “Maybe I
will
join the Army.”

“Right,” she answered, unable to hide the sarcasm in her voice. He’d never do that, regardless of his earlier bravado. It was just more of his talk, of his inability to commit. He was so unlike Reuben.

His biceps flexed under the sleeves of his T-shirt. “I’ll go much farther than Michigan.”

“Good,” she said. She didn’t care where he went. As long as it wasn’t in Lancaster County.

He turned abruptly and marched away from her. She waited, half hoping for a moment that he’d return. She’d apologize. They’d go down to their fort together. She’d say she didn’t mean what she’d said.

But he disappeared behind the hedge at the end of the field.

Both relief and sadness rushed through her as she swiped her fingers under her eyes. How could she be so frustrated with Zane and so heartbroken at the same time?

“Lila!” Reuben stood at the gate waiting for her, his thumbs looped in his suspenders. Under the brim of his black hat, she imagined his eyes were still kind—although probably a little impatient too.

“Coming,” she called out.

As she made her way to the gate, she whispered the next line of the Wordsworth poem.

“We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind . . .”

She wasn’t sure what remained. But hopefully she would find her strength in Reuben.

1

December 2012

Z
ane pulled his truck into the gas station, figuring he might as well fill up and delay arriving at his parents’ house for a little while longer. He jumped down, inhaled the icy air, and rubbed his bare hands together. He’d been away from Pennsylvania for the last two and a half years—for basic in Oklahoma and then more training in Texas—and had missed the winters. He had ten days to enjoy the cold.

The man in front of him returned the nozzle to the pump. “Zane?” The guy squinted into the low afternoon sun, shielding his eyes. “It’s me. Daniel.”

Zane wouldn’t have recognized his friend. He wore jeans, a down jacket, work boots, and a stocking cap. There was nothing Amish about him. But the blue eyes and smile definitely belonged to Daniel.

“Hey,” Zane said, extending his hand. “I didn’t recognize you.”

Daniel laughed and swept Zane into a hug, slapping his back. “Long time no see.”

It was hard for Zane to explain why he hadn’t returned home until now. His parents and little brother had traveled to see him several times at Fort Hood, and that had worked out just fine.

He glanced over Daniel’s shoulder. Against his will, he was looking to see if Lila was with her twin. There was someone in the cab of his truck. A woman. Zane’s heart raced.

Daniel released him and stepped back. “What brings you home?”

Zane shrugged. “Mom’s been bugging me to visit.” It was only two weeks until Christmas, but he wasn’t going to stay that long. He had his reasons for getting back to Texas. Duty and all of that.

Daniel nodded toward Zane’s truck. “Nice rig.”

“Thanks,” Zane replied. “Yours too.” They both laughed. Daniel’s was a beater that looked as if it had gone three hundred thousand miles at least.

“Do you remember Jenny?” Daniel asked.

“Of course.” She was Reuben’s stepsister.

Daniel nodded toward his cab. “Come say hello.”

Relief, mostly, filled him that it was Jenny and not Lila. Zane elbowed Daniel as they walked. “I always thought you two would get together.”

“
Jah
, well, nothing’s for sure—yet. I need to figure out how to support a family first.” Daniel opened the driver’s door. “Look who’s here.”

Jenny wore a long coat and a black bonnet on her head. She was still Amish, although she wore a little color on her lips and on her cheeks too. Maybe she hadn’t joined the church yet—but she looked as if she might soon. She said hello and Zane said how nice it was to see her. Then he stepped back and put the
freezing cold gas nozzle into his truck. Daniel told Jenny he’d be just a minute and closed the cab door.

“What have you been up to?” Zane asked.

“Working construction. Building houses mostly. Rooming with a group of guys.”

Zane nodded. Daniel was obviously on his
Rumschpringe
. He wondered what Tim thought of him running around. “How’s everyone else?”

“
Gut.
Simon’s working the farm.” He grinned. “And hating every minute of it. Rose is helping around the house. Trudy is a third grader. Dat’s the same as ever.”

Zane nodded as he held on to the nozzle. If Daniel didn’t say anything about Lila, he wasn’t going to ask.

Daniel grinned again—this time in a teasing way. “Lila’s working at that restaurant out on the highway. The one all the tourists go to. She just got the job a couple of weeks ago. She also does Dat’s books and pretty much everything else around the house and yard.”

Zane concentrated on the nozzle.

“She’s taking her sweet time with Reuben. He’d like to be married by now, but she says she’s too young.” Daniel puffed out his chest and looked toward the cab of his truck. “We’re turning twenty in a month though.”

Zane nodded. He’d turn twenty-one in two months. The twins were less than a year behind him.

Daniel shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I imagine Reuben will be bringing up marriage again soon.” He waited for a moment, as if he expected Zane to say something.

Zane would have liked to have come up with something, preferably witty, but the lump in his throat kept him from speaking at all. The nozzle jerked, and he let go of the handle.

“Well, I’d better get going,” Daniel said. “Maybe we can hang out while you’re home.”

“I’d like that,” Zane said, putting the nozzle back in the holder and pulling out his phone.

Daniel took out his—an old flip phone—and they exchanged numbers.

“Tell everyone hello,” Zane said.

“Ditto,” Daniel said. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen your folks.” He shrugged. “And Adam. How old is he now?”

“He’ll turn eight next month,” Zane said.

Daniel shook his head. “That’s hard to believe.”

They both smiled. Zane slapped Daniel on the shoulder. “We’re getting old, buddy.”

Zane took his time leaving the gas station. In fact it wasn’t until the car behind him honked that he eased forward. Daniel had turned right onto the highway, but Zane turned left. He’d take the long way home.

The night Adam had been born there had been a horrible ice storm, and Lila and her Aenti Eve, her Dat’s sister, came over to help. When he thought of that night he didn’t think about putting his mother’s van in the ditch. Or how badly his dad was still torn up by the war. Or the house catching on fire. Or the ambulance coming.

No.

He gripped his steering wheel more tightly. What he thought about was how calm Lila had been through the entire ordeal.

He’d thought a lot over the last two and a half years about how graceful Lila was—and what a spaz he was. He’d been stupid the night Adam was born, but he hadn’t been at his worst. Joining the Army the day after his and Lila’s argument was by far the most idiotic thing he’d ever done.

One day he was thinking about becoming a pacifist and slowly easing—maybe—into the Amish way of living, although he hadn’t had the chance to tell Lila he was willing to consider it. He’d handled it all wrong. And then she’d told him the farther
he went the better, and there he was the next day signing his name on a form committing himself to the exact opposite of the Amish ideal.