Ambrosia Shore (25 page)

As the guard ushered Rayne through the metal bars back to his cell, the edges of Rayne’s heart pulled in two separate directions. If he wanted a chance to be there for Sadie, to protect her and love her, spend the rest of his life by her side…he would have to betray the one person who gave him the opportunity to be a part of her life in the first place.

A cold voice suddenly cut through Rayne’s thoughts. He glanced up, distracted.

Ash walked up to the bars and leaned against the side. “Shouldn’t you be a free man by now? I thought your troubles were all supposed to
disappear
the moment Hamlin walked through that door.”

Rayne took in a sharp breath. “There’s been a complication.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Ash replied dryly. “Oh right, because I tried to warn you that this would happen. You and your sweet tender heart just didn’t want to believe me.”

Every muscle in Rayne’s face went tight, clenching jaw and cheeks and eyes. “This wasn’t Hamlin’s fault. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if we all followed our steps backward, we’d find that most of them lead to one person...Voss Hastings.”

Ash slammed his fist against the bar. “If you don’t shut up about my father, I’m going to reach inside that cell and mutilate your face until the Healing Water can’t make sense of how to fix it.”

“Can’t you even turn off the anger for
one…second?
I can’t take your constant stream of loathing anymore.”

“Well, maybe if you stopped being so relentlessly
annoying
, we could all get along a little better.”

Rayne paced to the far corner, finding his control. Then he turned slowly. “What happened, Ash? After all that we’ve been through together, why do you hate me?”

Ash grumbled under his breath. “Do I really have to say it, yet again?”

Rayne clamped his fists. “Don’t try to tell me it was my run-in with your father on the balcony. I don’t believe you.” Rayne charged forward, moving up in Ash’s face. “There’s something else eating away at you, something you’re not telling me or not admitting to yourself. What is it Ash? Why do you
hate
me?”

Ash burst forward, eyes wild. “Because you’re a constant reminder of everything wrong with me! It’s like a pile of mud trying to be friends with a fluffy white cupcake. Nobody wants the mud, Rayne.
Nobody
.”

“But you’re not mud. That’s what’s so infuriating.”

Ash’s jaw trembled. “Name one person who actually cares what happens to me, one person. And I don’t mean my dead mother, or you and your perfect little do-good attitude.”

Rayne looked down, went quiet.

“Exactly,” Ash muttered. “You can’t think of anyone because there isn’t anyone.”

Rayne hesitated. “Maybe there could be…if you let them. If you gave someone a reason. You just have to stop pushing people away. You have to stop pushing
me
away.”

“I have to, Rayne. Don’t you get it? If I don’t push you away, you’re going to get sucked down with me. Your old life full of sunshine and roses is already falling apart…and it’s because of me.” The anger on his face fell to piercing guilt. “I hate myself, Rayne. I hate myself. I don’t understand why you care. You shouldn’t care. If I let you back in, I’m going to ruin you, too.”

Rayne watched in disbelief as his oldest friend broke down into pieces. For the first time in his life, Rayne witnessed stains of tears down Ash’s face.

Ash turned to hide his eyes, crumpling down, pushing out a wounded, trembling voice. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I didn’t
want
to hurt
anyone
. Sadie…her mother, the doctor… Hamlin… You…” Ash turned, forcing himself to look in Rayne’s eyes. “I’m…sorry.” His body fell to his knees as he whimpered, “I’m sorry…”

My mind jumped into consciousness, torso springing upright from the bed. Morning light streamed through the space across my bedroom, but the dream, the dream about Jane’s diary felt like only seconds earlier. I remembered everything with clarity—the glow from my Watermark all around me, the feeling of being guided across the room, the page in the journal where it had finally landed after fanning wildly across my hands. Page sixty-three.

It was so real, so vivid it didn’t feel like a dream.

I plunged from the bed, wide awake, and went straight to the shoebox in the closet. The leather journal was right where it was supposed to be. I pulled it out from under the stack of notes and flipped feverishly through the pages. Page sixty-three. Page sixty-three. The number repeated through my head as I searched.

I found it. Page sixty-three. My fingers stopped, eyes scanning across the top of the page. With beating anticipation, I began to read:

4 April 1643

Discussion persisted through the course of the morning among those of us on the Council, this being the seventh day of our dialogues regarding our interactions with the homeland. The division between Council members is sorely evident, yet my William made great effort to persuade those present in favor of continuing contact beyond the Threshold. None would argue that my husband is a man of unwavering devotion to his cause, and his unending charm rendered most unable to refuse his petition. In an effort to reach an agreement pleasing to both parties, we together presented a new scenario not yet heard in the proceedings, the prospect of which was made known to me through a vision only one night past as I slept most comfortably and soundlessly in our bed.

The vision revealed to me, most distinctly, that our people were not to forsake those left behind to the infirmities now in our past, but to minister to them a part of our good fortune, whilst, in effect, remaining concealed from their view. This as a precaution and protection to those young ones now being born with the mark of the Healing Water, who are now, each one, found to be born with a dependency and cannot leave this land without facing certain death.

When I spoke of this vision to William, he also knew the idea to be truth, and went straightway to his study to find inspiration. Thus, the program we presented today to the Council, the program of the Water Keepers, was created through revelation, as well as my husband’s careful planning and design, giving new purpose to our journey and the settlement of this most awe-inspiring land. Even now, my heart stirs as my pen moves. This is but the beginning of a wide and wondrous work, a destiny that shall expand through time and bring forth miracles for generations. Indeed, a peaceful voice whispers to my soul, that the future prosperity of this world shall spring forth through the hands of the Water Keepers.

I stopped and clutched the book carefully in my hands, my chest swelling with emotion. This was the creation of the Water Keepers, spoken directly from the source. This was how it all began. These were my very own ancestors, the people whose blood now coursed through my veins. It was like the whole program and everything that came with it was meant to be from the very beginning, and somehow it felt like a part of me.

My head was so overcome by the idea that I couldn’t read any further. For the time being, I put the book away in the box for safe keeping and tried to move forward with getting ready for the day. But as I went from shower to breakfast to school and to class, something continued to resonate inside me. The Water Keepers were the heart and soul of Ambrosia, and Ambrosia was the place I was supposed to be.

The thought made me want to cry. I could feel that it was right, that it was where I needed to be, but there was so much I would have to leave behind. So many things that I loved—people that I loved, lost forever. Maybe I could become a Water Keeper somehow, maybe. But even then, by the time I could return to this place I’d called home for so long, everything would be different. Everyone would move on without me.

At lunch I was quiet, watching my friends move around me. It was just high school, right? High school friendships weren’t supposed to last forever. Wasn’t that what people said? It was normal to graduate and go our separate ways, move on to college and careers and families of our own. But, I really never thought it would end that way with Heather. We were different. I always thought we had a bond that would last through all the changes in life. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we were too young and immature to even understand what true friendship meant in the first place. Maybe some things were just meant to be a part of our lives for a time, and then we were meant to move on. Maybe there were other things in life that were more important to worry about. I mean, we would always have the memories, right?

There was so much on my mind that I hardly had the capacity to think it through. It was like my subconsciousness was taking over, when I suddenly blurted, “Heather, we need to talk—in private.”

She looked at me with concerned eyes as I dragged her away from the group. “This better not be you changing your mind about going to prom with Darrin,” she said, “because he already paid his share of the limo to Nick.”

“No, that’s not it,” I said.

I led my best friend out to our tree behind the cafeteria, the one we always went to when we had something super important and top-secret we needed to talk about.

“What’s going on?” she asked with concern. “Is everything okay? You’ve been acting weird all day.”

I looked down, wavering, not sure I could go through with it.

“Seriously,” she said, “you’re freaking me out. What’s wrong?”

I glanced up and swallowed, searching for courage. “What if…” I finally began. I looked down again. “What if… there was a chance I…uh…I might not…” I closed my eyes, inhaling a final breath of strength and forced it out. “What if I might not be going to school at UCLA this fall?”

I couldn’t look. The air went quiet.

When I braved a glance, Heather’s eyes were fuming, like pools of acid. Her voice pierced through me, sharp and cold, like a dagger of ice. “
What?
” she said. It was just a single word, but it was heavy, loaded, carrying a hundred meanings through every inflection—anger, disbelief, disappointment, the list could go on.

Heather drew her arms to her chest, waiting, challenging, expecting an explanation.

I struggled to find words. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to explain. I just knew it was what I had to do.

Despite my stupor, the words suddenly started to come. I wasn’t even sure where they came from. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I began. “I honestly didn’t even decide until today. But I’ve been thinking about this a lot, ever since I met my father actually. He works for…um…this non-profit-type organization, I guess you could call it that. Well, it’s not really non-profit because everybody gets paid, a lot, but they still kind of do, like, charity work, and anyway, it sounds like it could really be an amazing opportunity…”

Heather held up her hand. “Just…stop talking.”

“But, don’t you even want to—?”

“No,” she said, cutting me off. “No, you know what, I swear, I knew this was going to happen. I can’t believe I even got my hopes up.”

“Heather, I’m really sorry.”

She shook her head. “I can’t talk to you right now. So just…don’t talk to me, like, for a while, okay? I need some space.” She turned her back immediately.

“Heather, wait,” I pled. “Please…”

But she didn’t turn around.

I buried my face in my hands, alone under our tree. I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to ruin our friendship. But something told me this was the way it was supposed to be. We had been in fights before, and we always made up eventually in the past, but this one felt more serious. This one felt like the beginning of the end.

I couldn’t help it; I had to cry. Despite the world of possibilities I could see waiting for me ahead, it still hurt more than anything to have to say goodbye.

***

Two full days passed, and Heather didn’t speak a word to me. Unfortunately, I had even bigger things to worry about than our fight. Rayne wrote me in the diary, and it sounded like his situation had only gotten worse since my father left to go back there. Rayne usually tried to tell me that everything would work out fine, but he sounded really worried about the whole situation. I longed to see him again, to feel his hand around mine. I wanted so badly to do something to help him, but I couldn’t think of a single thing. It was maddening. He wasn’t a criminal, and he didn’t deserve to be treated like one.

I didn’t want to think about what his life would be like if we didn’t find a way to fix this. I didn’t want to think about what my life would be like if I had to move to Ambrosia all by myself without Rayne there, free to be with me. I didn’t want to think about being
anywhere
without him.

I even went so far as to approach Orion Saturday afternoon, demanding he take me back to Banya right away. If that was supposed to be my future, then maybe I should just get on with it. I wanted to be there for Rayne in any way I knew how.

But Orion simply nodded and said, “I know it must be difficult for you, but you’ve already done everything you can for Rayne in this situation. Right now, the most important thing for you to do is finish your education.”

“But I’ve already decided that I want to go back to Ambrosia for good. Why does high school even matter anymore?”

Orion smiled. “Education is just as important in Banya as it is here. No matter where you choose to go, you’re going to be better off if you get your diploma.”

“Fine, then what if we just went there for a couple of days for Rayne’s hearing?”

“Once you return to Banya, I don’t think the Council will agree to send you back here again, not if you’re planning to stay. Going back and forth is just too complicated in your situation.”

“But, I have to do
something
,” I protested.

Orion placed a hand on my shoulder. “Sadie,  I know you’re upset, but if you really believe you want to come back to Ambrosia to stay, don’t you think you should take these last few moments with your friends and your home, and cherish them? And don’t forget about your mother.”

I had to admit…he had a point.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “I just feel like my hands are tied here. It’s so frustrating.”

“Well, maybe I can help,” Orion offered, “I’m thinking about making arrangements with Agent Duke to take over for me here, so I can go back personally and aid your father in helping Rayne. Then I can come back for you when it’s all figured out. How does that sound?”

I looked down, thinking it through, realizing that Orion’s help seemed better than nothing at all. “Um, okay,” I relented. “Just promise me that you won’t let Rayne end up in jail for the rest of his life.”

Orion smiled thoughtfully. “I’ll do my best.”

***

A few hours later, I was heading out the door to pick up Lindsey from her house. I hardly even noticed Agent Duke following me around in his black SUV anymore.

The school musical barely seemed important at this point, but I already promised Nicole I would come, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin two friendships in less than seventy-two hours. It would be nice to leave at least a few relationships on good terms before I had to leave forever. Lindsey organized a big group of our friends to meet up and sit together, which was strange because Heather was always the one taking charge of that kind of thing. But when I asked Lindsey if Heather was going to meet us, she gave me an apologetic look, explaining that Heather decided to go with her family tonight instead. That was when I knew just how upset Heather really was with me. I couldn’t remember the last time she ever volunteered to go to a school function with her family instead of with friends.

When Lindsey and I arrived at the school, Brandon, Zach, and Darrin were already there saving seats for us in the auditorium. There was a buzz of chit chat and people congregating throughout the room. I couldn’t help but glance nervously through the faces for Heather, unsure if finding her would make me feel better, or worse. But right after Julie and Kelly arrived to join us, I spotted Heather’s parents arriving with her little brother, sitting just one row back from us on the other side of the room. Heather wasn’t with them.

Did she decide not to come? Because of me?

In between talking to friends, I glanced back at Heather’s parents every few minutes, wishing to see her face, wishing I could somehow make her forgive me, make her understand. Heather’s dad was pacing up and down the isle of chairs, talking on his cell phone with a heated expression on his face, while his wife and son watched with concern. Something tense was happening over there; I could tell. It made me nervous.

Connor and Sean showed up shortly after, and even Tracy, Ariana, and Justin decided to sit with us, but Heather was still nowhere to be seen, and her dad was still having some kind of stressful conversation on the phone.