Always on My Mind (22 page)

Aubrey smiled. “Is that the first time you’ve ever said fuck?”

“Maybe,” Ali said. “Let me join the club and I’ll say it as much as you want. Look— fuck, fuck, fuck—”

“Stop,” Aubrey said on a laugh and got out a third glass, filling it with a few fingers straight up.

Ali knocked it back, coughed, and swiped at her mouth. “So are we drinking to the
Sweet Wars
final or something else?” She divided a gaze between them, clearly assuming it could have been either of them equally to be the screwup.

Leah raised her hand. “The finals. I’m this week’s idiot.”

“No you’re not,” Ali said, loyal to the end, but she bit her lower lip because she loved Jack too. “It can’t be unfixable, it can’t. You both care so much about each other.”

“And isn’t that just it,” Leah said softly and scrubbed her hands over her face. “How can you fall for the person who knows you better than anyone else?”

“The question is,” Aubrey said just as quietly, “how can you not?”

“He knows everything about me,” Leah said. “All my secrets. There’s no hiding with him, no holding back.” She stood up, restlessly turning in a circle before coming back around to stare at her friends. “Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to be laid bare before someone like that?”

Both Ali and Aubrey were looking at her with eyes that assured her that they knew exactly, and she sighed. “I’m afraid,” she whispered.

“Jack wouldn’t hurt you,” Ali rushed to say. “He’d rip off his own arm first.”

Leah nodded. She knew this, she did. “It’s just that I’ve never needed a man before to make my life complete. Never. But…”

“But what?” Ali demanded when Leah trailed off, a little overwhelmed by her own epiphany. “But what?”

“But…I need
that
man,” Leah said. “I need Jack.”

Jack lost himself in his drug of choice—work. It was late, and he was off duty, and yet he was at his desk staring at his computer screen. Around him, the station was quiet and dark.

Inside him, there was no quiet to be found as he picked up the phone.

“Do you know what time it is?” Ronald grumbled.

“And do you know that Mr. Rinaldi, that new developer in town, isn’t new at all?”

Ronald blew out a long breath, sounding like he was struggling to come awake. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s Max Fitzgerald’s brother.”

“Well, hell,” Ronald said.

“Yeah. Well, hell.”

The next morning, Leah was surprised to find her grandma already up and dressed to go to work.

“I’m baking with you this morning,” Elsie said. “Our last day. No sadness,” she said at the look on Leah’s face. “And anyway, yes it’s an ending, but it’s also a new beginning as well. I’m feeling great. Turns out, having a man’s better than Metamucil.”

“I’d have to agree,” a man said, and to Leah’s utter shock, Mr. Lyons walked into the kitchen using his cane, looking as dapper and cheery as Elsie. He gave her a smacking kiss on the lips, winked at Leah, and then limped to the door. “I’ll see you soon, chickie,” he said to Elsie, and was gone.

“Isn’t he the sweetest thing?” Elsie asked.

Twenty minutes later, they were at the bakery. And Leah had a bitch of a headache, which she tried to ignore. It was her last day, and she was stressed. That was all.

It had nothing to do with the hole in her damn heart.

An hour passed and she was elbow deep into the early morning baking when it happened.

The power flickered and went out.

“Dammit,” Leah muttered. She had a searing hot poker of pain behind one eyeball. Her headache had upgraded to migraine level, and she was feeling lightheaded to boot.

Not enough sleep.

Dawn hadn’t quite broken, so she felt for the junk drawer and fumbled for the flashlight and some new fuses. “Grandma,” she called to the front room, where Elsie had been cleaning the display shelves for the new day’s goods. “Have a seat for a few minutes; I’ll get this.”

“Already sitting,” Elsie called back. “I might have been a little overzealous on the knee.”

“You shouldn’t be bending down and cleaning those displays.”

“That’s not what I got overzealous about,” Elsie said.

Leah winced and rubbed her temples. “TMI, Grandma.”

Elsie laughed in delight. “Go. I’m fine.”

Leah paused to flick the beam of light into the little glass window of the new oven.

Her soufflé was going to be ruined. And hell if it hadn’t been one of the most amazing batches ever too. Frustrated, she left the heat of the kitchen and stepped outside, closing the door so she didn’t let out the bought air.

Ali wasn’t in yet, and the bookstore was closed like always. Dawn was breaking, the light a brilliant kaleidoscope of oranges, reds, and purples. The air was chilly and seemed to clear her head. There was a tang of salt from the ocean and…

She went still and sniffed again.

Sulfur?

In the alley, she turned in a slow circle, something crunching beneath her shoe.

A scattering of cigarette butts.

That was odd. Extremely odd. The only reason for anyone to be back here was if he belonged in one of the three shops that made up the building.

But no one who did belong here smoked.

She glanced at the back door to the bakery and at the glass window there. Right now, with the sun’s rays stabbing through the early morning, the reflection on the glass nearly blinded her, and she couldn’t see in. But as of only a few minutes ago, it would have still been dark outside. Inside the kitchen, she’d have been like a fish in a fishbowl to anyone in the alley, and knowing it, goose bumps rose on her skin.

Someone had stood right here in this spot, smoking and watching her.

Hugging herself against the chill that raced down her spine, she reentered the kitchen and shut and locked the door. And then bolted it. “Grandma,” she called out. “Make sure the front door’s still locked, okay?” Her headache was killing her, and adding that to the exhaustion of not sleeping was making her dizzy. All this broken heart stuff was hell on her immune system, she thought, realizing she felt weak too. And…sick. Dammit. She sat. Just for a minute, she told herself, and set her head on her arms. Whew. She was seriously woozy. In the back of her mind, it occurred to her that her grandma had never responded to her.

She heard footsteps. Not her grandma’s uneven, shuffling gait but someone with a more steady stride. A man, she thought. But her head was too heavy to lift, and her eyelids wouldn’t open…

J
ack was deeply asleep, dreaming of being smothered when someone started banging on his door. By the time he sat up and shoved Kevin off his chest, Ben had let himself in and stood in the doorway in a pair of unbuttoned jeans. “Get up,” he told Jack, shrugging into a shirt. “Now.”

There was little that ever made Ben rush, and knowing it, Jack immediately rolled off the bed and reached for pants.

“Luke called,” Ben said. “There’s a problem downtown.”

Jack knew damn well that Luke wouldn’t call about just any problem. “What is it?”

“The bakery. Someone called in a report of seeing an older woman unconscious inside the closed bakery. He didn’t know more; the call had just come in. Let’s go.”

Jack was already out the door, calling dispatch while Ben drove. Emergency responders were just arriving on scene. Nothing to report yet.

Jack ended the call and leaned forward in the passenger seat, like that could get them to the scene faster.

“You think it’s Elsie?” Ben asked.

“Don’t know.” Jack hit Leah’s number.

No answer.

If it was Elsie in trouble—and who else could it be—then he wondered what she’d been doing alone at the bakery. Where was Leah? Under different circumstances, she might have been in Jack’s bed, but he’d screwed that up pretty good.

He tried her cell again but it still went straight to voice mail. “Leah,” he said. “Call me.” He disconnected and stared at the road. Had she avoided a good-bye altogether and left town early? He had to work on not having heart failure when Ben went straight instead of left at the pier. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Driving you to the bakery,” Ben said.

“By way of Africa? Why the hell didn’t you turn on Harbor Boulevard?”

“They’re tearing up Harbor. Repaving.”

When they got caught at one of the only three stoplights in town, Jack could actually feel a stroke coming on and had to put a finger to his twitching eye. “There’s no one in the intersection. Go through it.”

Ben didn’t move.

“Ben.”

“You already have a ticket this week.”

“But you don’t!”

The light turned green, so in the end Jack didn’t have to kill his cousin. And twenty-five hundred years later, Ben pulled up behind the ambulance and fire unit. Both men got out of the car and ran toward the scene.

Luke stepped away from a group of uniforms and into Jack’s path. “Tim was driving by before dawn and saw the front light on in the bakery,” he told them. “He said he got excited that Leah had opened early and parked. But the door was locked, and through the window he could see Elsie slumped at a table. He knocked but got no response. He broke in and hauled her out. She’s come to briefly, but she’s woozy and confused. Incoherent. It’s a possible CO
₂
poisoning, so we’re testing for that now.”

Carbon monoxide poisoning was known as a silent, viciously fast killer, and he got cold to the bone. “Leah?”

Luke shook his head. “Haven’t seen her, but you’re literally only two minutes behind us. Still clearing the building.”

Hunter and Cindy were rolling the gurney toward the ambulance, where an agitated Elsie struggled with Hunter, who was trying to fit her with an oxygen mask. Her hands were fluttering, her eyes wide with confusion and shock.

“Shortness of breath and chest pains,” Hunter told Jack.

Jack leaned over a confused Elsie, taking her hands in his. “You’re safe, Elsie.” Gently he placed the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. “Lie still a minute. Just breathe.”

Her hand came up, clutching at his wrist. She tried to say something, striking terror into his heart with one word.

“Leah,” she whispered.

He gripped her hand. “Is she inside?”

Elsie’s head lolled, and her eyes drifted shut.

“Elsie,” Jack said firmly, watching her try to snap back into focus. “Elsie, is Leah still in the building?”

“Leah. Get Leah.”

Jack whipped around and bumped directly into Luke. “Leah’s here,” Jack said. And then he ran toward the building, heading around the back via the alley. He got to the porch in time to see the back door crash open and Tim step out, Leah in his arms.

L
eah.”

At the low but commanding male voice, Leah startled.
Jack
. She tried to look at him, but it was dark. Very dark.

“Leah, stay with us. Don’t you dare leave me.”

Oh, how she loved that tone, the way he could be demanding and so alpha she just wanted to eat him up.

His familiar grip settled around her hand and held on like a lifeline. “Open your eyes, Leah.”

Oh yeah, she liked that tone too, the one he used when he was letting his emotions get the best of him. Like when he was buried deep inside her, telling her all the things he planned to do to her.

But she wanted to see his face, so in spite of a bitch of a headache, she struggled to open her eyes.

That’s when she realized she was flat on her back. Jack stood by her side, his expression grim as he clutched her hand. She was on a gurney, with an oxygen mask on her face, but she did her best to give him a faint smile.

It was enough to bring some light to his gaze. “You’re okay,” he said.

“What—”

“Possible CO
₂
poisoning.”

She struggled to sit up. Jack wasn’t alone. Tim and Ben and Luke were right there too, and a sea of others. Behind them, there were flashing lights and a crowd gathering.

And it started to come back to her. Being in the bakery, feeling sick, so sick— “Grandma,” she managed. “Where’s—”

“Being transported to the hospital,” Jack said. “She was coming to as they pulled away. She’s okay, Leah. Stay still.”

She pulled off the mask, shaking her head as Jack started to object. “I’m fine. I…” Whoa. Her world swam, and there was a little man with an icepick behind her eyes, hacking away. An inch from throwing up, she decided maybe Jack had a point and went very still. “I want to go see her.”

“Take another minute,” Jack said firmly, holding her down when she would have hopped off the gurney. “Dammit, Leah. Give yourself a minute.”

“How did I get out of the bakery?”

“Me.” On the other side of the gurney, Tim smiled grimly. “I found you unconscious in the kitchen. You were crumpled right at the door on the floor, like maybe you’d crawled there to get out but hadn’t made it. I had to break the door down.”

“The power went out,” Leah murmured, struggling to remember. Everything felt so confusing and fuzzy. “And I got tired…” She trailed off, images coming back to her. Jack’s face when Tim had brought her to him—not his usual calm, nothing even remotely close.

He’d been afraid. For her.

“If I hadn’t driven by,” Tim said, “God knows what would have happened.”

Leah shuddered, and Jack squeezed her hand. She met his gaze, the both of them knowing exactly what would have happened. She and her grandma would’ve gone to sleep and never woken up. She sucked in some oxygen, and after a few minutes, she retained all her faculties. She insisted on being released at the scene, promising everyone she’d go straight to the hospital and get herself checked after seeing Elsie.

“Hell no,” Jack said, taking her arm when she turned to her car. “I’m driving you.”

“I’m fine—”

“I’m driving you to the damn hospital, Leah.”

They didn’t speak on the ride over. Jack was in his zone, and Leah’s ice picker had graduated to using a jackhammer inside her head, rattling her brain. She drifted off a little bit, not stirring again until she felt a warm hand cup her face.

“Leah.”

She opened her eyes to Jack’s concerned ones. He was crouched low at her side in the opened door of his truck. She sat up. “I’m fine.”

Reaching in, he clicked open her seat belt and then held her in place a moment. “You know, for a minute back there, I thought—” He broke off and closed his eyes, dropping his forehead to hers.

It was one thing to think the worst, another entirely to have the nightmare come true. He’d had that happen too many times in his life. “I’m okay,” she murmured, cupping his stubbled jaw. “Really.”

“I’m not.” He drew in a long, unsteady breath, his eyes shadowed. “I’m not ready to lose you, Leah. Even when you’re pissing me off.”

She gave a little laugh and pressed her face against his throat. His arms immediately came around her, pulling her in. “We’re still friends, right?” she whispered, needing to hear it. “You still love me, forever?”

He let out a barely there sigh. “Forever.”

Her eyes burned. “I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass,” she said against his warm skin, squeezing him tighter.

“You are a pain in my ass,” he agreed. “I just want you breathing, Leah. For a damn long time.”

He helped her out of the car, then tightened the grip he’d retained on her when she wobbled. Just outside Elsie’s hospital room he stopped her, waiting for her to catch her breath. She could hear his phone vibrating, but he gave no sign that he cared about anything other than being here with her. He had her back. Always. No matter how much either of them screwed things up, they’d still have this. Each other. It was enough, she told herself. It was.

All she had to do was learn to believe it.

“Don’t expect much,” Jack said to Leah before letting her go into Elsie’s room. “She’s sedated and drowsy.”

Leah nodded her understanding. Even with his warning, he could tell it was a shock to see her grandma prone on the bed, still as stone, eyes closed, skin waxy and pale. Elsie looked tiny and entirely too vulnerable, and Leah put a hand to her mouth.

Jack slipped an arm around her waist and nudged her in.

Tim was taking a chair bedside, clearly having just arrived. He was looking quite serious but also still in cocky hero mode. Next to him was Max. And next to Max was Mr. Lyons.

Leah let out a breath and a reluctant smile. “I hope she knows you’re all here because she’d love this, three men at her beck and call.”

Elsie’s eyes fluttered open and they landed first on her audience, then on Jack. She struggled to say something to him, but Leah rushed to her side. “Shh, Grandma,” she murmured softly. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Jack pulled out a chair for Leah and gently pushed her into it. Then, feeling the tiny tremors wracking her, he pulled off his sweatshirt and wrapped it around her. Delayed shock. He wanted to get her warm and looked at, and then he wanted to pull her in and hold on.

And never let go.

Leah picked up Elsie’s hand. “That was way too close of a call, Grandma.”

Elsie let out one light chuckle but her eyes drifted shut.

“I love you,” Leah whispered to her, her voice soft. “I love you so much.”

Elsie’s other hand came up and pulled the oxygen mask from her face. “Ah, honey, and you didn’t even choke on it.”

Leah let out a half sob, half laugh and dropped her head to her grandma’s bed.

“No worries, it gets easier each time now,” Elsie said, and over Leah’s head she gave Jack a look that had him moving to her side.

“You’re going to be okay,” he said. “They want you to stay quiet for a little while and rest—”

“Yeah, yeah.” She stared up at him. “I hear you, but…sometimes you can’t stay quiet. Sometimes…” Her expression was pained, and her eyebrows kept waggling, as if she were having a seizure.

“Are you okay?” Leah asked, straightening to call for help. “Hang on—”

“Oh good Lord,” Elsie muttered. “I’m fine. I’m trying to tell Jack something here. I’m saying that sometimes things aren’t as they seem. Sometimes people, they act irrationally.” She paused, her eyes not moving from Jack. “Do you know what I’m trying to tell you?”

“Oh, Grandma,” Leah said, sounding exasperated now. “Just concentrate on getting better. You can go back to meddling into our lives later—”

Jack put a hand on Leah, quieting her. Because he knew exactly what Elsie was saying. He’d put it together the minute he’d seen who’d been waiting at her bedside with anxiety and adrenaline rolling off them in waves.

It made sense, horrible, sickening sense, but he kept his gaze on Elsie. “I do understand,” he said, and because the entire energy in the room had changed, he had no choice but to act now. Pulling out his phone, he made a call. “Need backup,” he said, and slipped the phone away again.

With clear relief, Elsie lay back and closed her eyes.

Leah craned her neck and stared up at Jack. “What are you doing? What’s going on?”

She broke off when Max jerked suddenly to his feet. “Look at the time!” he said, his voice unnaturally jovial. “I’ve got to go.”

Leah stood up and stepped into his path, halting him, eyes narrowed. “You smell like cigarettes.”

“Since when is smoking a crime?”

“Oh my God,” she breathed. “It was you.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Except maybe try to scare off the new developer from buying up the buildings for sale in town. What I can’t figure out is why you were so upset when my grandma convinced Mr. Lyons to pull out of escrow.”

Max sighed deeply. “It’s complicated.”

“Why?” she pressed.

“Because…”

“Because Vince Rinaldi is your brother?” Jack filled in helpfully.

Max looked at him and nodded. “My half brother, actually.” He turned back to Leah. “So if what you’re really doing is accusing me of setting those fires and then nearly killing you and your granny today out of greed, be very careful, missy.”

“You should go, Max,” Jack said.

“But—” Leah broke off when Jack slid her a look, and waited with what looked like barely restrained frustration as Max walked out of the hospital room.

Tim was going as well, apparently without a single word, until Jack stepped in his path. “Leaving?” he asked the younger firefighter softly.

“Yeah,” Tim said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Being the big hero really takes it out of a guy.”

“Wait.” Leah paled suddenly and put a hand to her head. “I remember you being there today,” she said slowly. “You were in full firefighter gear.”

Tim laughed. “You were out cold, Leah. You don’t know what or who you saw.” He started to brush past them, but Jack blocked him.

“Hold on,” Jack said.

“Why?”

“You grimaced when you stood up. You hurt?”

“My shins,” Tim said. “From running.”

“Shin splits?”

“A stress fracture, actually.”

Jack nodded. “It’s because you don’t roll your ankles inward enough. Instead you hit the ground with the outside edges of your feet. Walking or running like that puts a lot of pressure on your legs.”

“Okay,” Tim said, trying to get around Jack. “That was real informative, thanks.”

Jack blocked his path. “Tell me again how it is that you just happened to be at the bakery?”

“I was hungry. The place was still closed, which was weird. I just happened to be there at the right time to help.”

“In full gear.”

“No. Yes.” He laughed a little. “Just my mask. You’re trying to trip me up. I was at the front, and then the back.” He glanced at his watch. “Seriously. Gotta go.”

Sneaky. And cocky. He didn’t think he could get caught. Jack leaned in and sniffed at him. “Why do you smell like cigarettes?”

“Dude, that was Max. You getting senile, old man?”

“No, it’s you. You stink.”

“Aw, you smell good too, LT. Like a fire. It’s sexy as hell.”

“Thought you quit smoking.”

Tim gave up the pretense with easy grace and a shrug. “I quit every day. It doesn’t always take.”

“Use the damn patches.”

“Says the nonsmoker.” Tim’s affable smile faded. “Doing my best, man.”

Jack poked his index finger against Tim’s pec pocket and cellophane crinkled.

Tim knocked Jack’s hand away. “Knock it off. It’s none of your business what I do when we’re off the clock.”

“We’re never off the clock.”

“Yeah,” Tim said. “As proven by my actions today.” He’d been wearing his cockiness like a shield, but there was something new there now, hovering just behind it. An edge of fear.

“Jack?” Leah asked behind him, uncertain. “What’s going on?”

Jack held Tim’s gaze. “So are we going to do this easy or hard?”

Tim just stared at him, his mouth a little tight now.

Great. The hard way then. “Tim and I are going to go outside and talk.”

Leah opened her mouth, glanced at Tim, and then shut it again, giving him a nod that he hoped like hell meant she’d stay put.

Less than a minute later, with her head still spinning and her brain not firing on all circuits, Leah heard a shout in the hallway and then a thump. She let go of her grandma’s hand and rushed to the door to find Jack holding a struggling Tim against the wall. They were surrounded by hospital staff, including Dr. Josh Scott and an ER nurse who was on the phone presumably to 9-1-1 because she had one finger in her ear and was yelling about location.

But though it was chaos, Jack’s movements were sure and controlled as he contained Tim. “It’s over, Tim,” he said. “It’s done.”

“I want my lawyer,” Tim yelled, still struggling. “You can’t pin the fires on me, and you sure as hell can’t pin the carbon monoxide poisoning on me either. That ancient gas heater they have in there must be faulty.”

“No one ever said it was the heater, Tim,” Jack said. “But I’m sure that if you’re right, a court of your peers will find it interesting that you knew exactly where the leak was.”

Tim went still, then dropped his forehead to the wall, no longer fighting. “You fucker,” he said. “You think you’re better than the rest of us because your dad was some sort of hero. Well, I’m a hero too. I’ve saved countless people. In that apartment building fire, Sam would have died if I hadn’t gotten him out of there. And then the auto parts store fire. Christ, that was beautiful… No one would have gotten there in time to save anyone if I hadn’t called it in.”

Jack let out a breath. Unbelievable. “Are you kidding me? If you’d managed to start that fire, do you know what would have happened in combination with the gas leak? The whole fucking street would have blown up. People would have died, Tim.”

“I wouldn’t have let that happen.” Tim shook his head, eyes flashing temper. “You should have just let me train to follow in your footsteps. Or let me have a shot at Leah. You have it all, and you wouldn’t share. I deserve everything you have, I’m just as good. Hell, I’m better.”