Almost Ordinary (The Song Wreckers Book 2) (21 page)

Chapter 26

I enjoyed the short time after Vivian’s birth when friends and family visited to gush over her. She looked like a mini Caleb, with her tiny amount of very blonde hair. Whenever her eyes opened, you saw the prettiest, bright blue pair staring at you. Nose, mouth, dimples. His, his, his. Maybe in time she’d amass my curls.

“Geez, she couldn’t even look a little like me?” I complained one morning. He beamed and smacked me on the butt. I rolled my eyes.

Cooper also insisted that Caleb work from home for the remainder of July, and shocked us both when he didn’t flood Caleb with work. His thoughtfulness worried me, it wasn’t like him. Could it be Franny’s influence? I knew her and Cooper were still a couple. When she talked about him I couldn’t fake happiness about their relationship so I stayed quiet. I didn’t want details. I wasn’t jealous, exactly. I didn’t think he deserved her. He would only break her heart because he didn’t have a heart of his own to love her—or anyone—with. Franny was like family, but when it came down to it, her relationship with Cooper was none of my business. And let’s face it, I couldn’t be objective when it came to Cooper. To me he was a damn near heartless, let down of a man. I don’t think my opinion of him would ever change, even when he sometimes did the right thing like take me to the hospital or give Caleb a brief paternity leave. Or take a bullet meant for Caleb.

The respite couldn’t last forever, and as soon as August arrived Caleb went back to 3D. Cooper had his staff in place in Tampa 3D and was on the verge of being up and running.

Then Franny started coming over for a half hour or so most work days so I could shower. I was pretty sure her visits were Cooper’s idea. After a couple of weeks, she stopped. That was fine, she had a job to do and had her hands full.

I wanted to thank her for her help, and never did give her a going away party when she left us, so I bought her a spa gift card online. She could indulge in a manicure, pedicure, massage, and haircut from a reputable salon not far from her house.

I packaged it all cute, and even bought a card and let the boys scribble on it. When it was ready, I called her.

“Yeah?” she answered, sounding strained.

“Hey, it’s Molly. How’re you doing?”

“I’m fine, what’s up?”

Vivian slept in the sling, and I rocked side to side. “Sorry to bother you, I can tell you’re busy. I have a present for you. Think you’ll be able to stop over? If not I might be able to deliver—”

“Sure. I’m not sure when I’ll make it out. Thanks.”

Tension crackled in the silence which had never happened between me and Franny. “You sure you’re okay? You seem, I don’t know, off. Is it stress? Is Cooper working you too hard? Are you two still together?” That last question was painful to ask. I was trying to be a good friend.

She gave a humorless snort. “No offense, Molly, but you are the last person I want to discuss Cooper with.” She hung up on me. I sat down, shocked.

Because with that statement I knew. Cooper had told Franny about us, about him being the biological father to Alex and Zander. Her attitude led me to believe she was angry. Angry at Cooper, angry at me, who knew?

Now that the boys were nearing two years old, Caleb and I were careful with what we discussed around them. I learned the hard way that “damn” was an easy word for a toddler to pick up and repeat. Any conversation unsuitable for their ears waited until they slept.

I sat on our bed that night and informed Caleb, “Cooper told Franny everything.”

He tossed his shirt into the hamper and sat on the bed. “Damn it, I figured this would happen.”

I slid over to make room for him. “Why?” He leaned against the headboard, hands linked behind his head. “Did she say something to you?”

“No, but he’s been different since we saw them together at Brett’s. He’s not so . . .”

“Coopery,” I offered.

“I guess. He’s still a bossy prick a lot of the time. I don’t know, there’s a softness that’s never been there since I’ve known him. I don’t think he would’ve gotten his leg surgery if it wasn’t for her.”

“Dang.” Could Cooper have feelings? Like a real human being?

Vivian fussed through the monitor.

“I’ll get her.” A minute passed, and Caleb settled her in my arms.

“Thanks.” Nuzzling her forehead, smelling her perfect baby smell as she nursed, I held her tight. Caleb stared at us. “What?”

He lay on his side to face us, his head propped up by his hand. “It’s a nice thing to witness, that’s all.” He stroked Vivian’s head with a feather light touch. “I still can’t believe she’s mine sometimes. Two boys and a girl, that’s unbelievable.”

The moment was so peaceful and tender. Neither one of us ruined it with talk of Cooper telling someone the truth about our family. If another person had to find out our secret, at least it was Franny. I trusted her to not blab this information.

Caleb saying Cooper was different made me anxious. He was “softer” Caleb said. Softer, like,
Hey, maybe I should pop in my children’s lives
type of softer? Or, Cooper wasn’t always the asshole he usually was. What could I do? I had no control in this situation. I hoped Cooper allowed the status quo. I should plan for him not to.

The next day a light knock sounded on my front door. With a sleeping Vivian in her sling, I peeked out the window and saw Franny.

I let her in, along with a wave of heat and humidity thick enough to choke on. It was so bad I wouldn’t even take the boys outside to play. “Hey, Franny.” I said.

“Hey. Where are the boys, in back?”

“Yeah, come on.”

As soon as Zander and Alex saw Franny, they ran to her for hugs, showing off their toys then losing interest in her quickly. She chuckled as they tottered off. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” I motioned for the kitchen, away from little ears. We’d have to keep our voices low. “Have a seat.” I poured two glasses of iced tea and set one in front of her and one at my chair. Her gift had been sitting on the counter so I set it on the table. “Oh, here.” I slid it to her as I sat.

She opened it. Her face lit up when she saw the spa package. “Wow, this is great. It’s too much, Molly. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I meant to do it sooner.” I rocked Vivian more as a way to soothe myself than her. We were on the verge of a conversation I never wanted to have with her.

She sipped her tea. “I’m sorry for acting like I did when we last spoke.”

“You know.”

“Yeah.”

“I never thought he’d ever tell anyone.”

“I forced it out of him, he didn’t plan on it. Ever since the day Vivian was born he’s been distracted.” She shrugged. “At first I thought he wanted to break up with me or something. He insisted he didn’t, but kept blowing me off. I cornered him at home one evening and demanded answers. I told him if he wanted to end it to do it right then, and if not then to tell me what the hell was wrong.”

Nervous energy flooded my system and I searched the kitchen for something that needed my attention.

“I made him choose: tell me or lose me.”

I checked on the boys to make sure they were engaged in whatever they were doing. Alex crammed Little People figures down the mouth of a giraffe meant for blocks, and Zander took the Little People from the bottom and handed them to Alex. They had no interest in us.

I sat down again, my shoulders aching from wearing Vivian in her sling so much. “So, what exactly did Cooper tell you?”

In a quiet voice, she said, “He said you two were having sex. I asked if you were a couple. He thought for a minute and said ‘no,’ I guess we were using each other’. I found that hard to believe, on your part, not his. He insisted it was true.”

“It was.” I used him to prove to myself that I was in total control—which I wasn’t, really—to try to forget about Caleb, and make me feel like
somebody
wanted me. He was my false sense of contentment. He used me for sex, I assumed. I had nothing else to offer him.

“Then one day you show up telling him you’re pregnant with his kid and that he doesn’t have to be involved if he doesn’t want to be.” She bowed her head and rubbed her forehead. “So he didn’t, and I have a hard time accepting that.”

“Did you break things off with him?”

Head still bowed, she shook her head. “I told him I needed to think about things. God, Molly, why didn’t you make him take responsibility?”

I explained to her how I had grown up without a father, and that I thought it better for Cooper to step out of the picture if he wasn’t going to be there one hundred percent. In my eyes, children fared better thinking they didn’t have a father instead of knowing they had one who didn’t give a shit about them.

She placed her chin in her hand. “How does Ram play into all this?”

I shrugged, mindful of Vivian. “I thought I’d missed my chance with him. The timing wasn’t right in the beginning, and for a while after the attack I didn’t think I should bring him down by being with me. So long story short, he found out I was pregnant and that I told Cooper he didn’t have to have anything to do with us.” Caleb overheard me tell Cooper. I hadn’t realized their phone call was still connected and that Caleb could hear everything I said. “He came over and chewed me out about it. Next thing I know, he apologizes and we become close friends. I tried not to fall in love with him, he tried not to fall in love with me.” I smiled, remembering how I’d told myself over and over to ignore any feelings I had for him. “You see how well that turned out.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. It’s like a script from a soap opera. It makes no sense we’re as happy as we are. There have been bumps along the way, but we’re good together. Are you going to stay with Cooper?”

She cringed. “You know, I accepted the job at 3D because I was so attracted to him—”

Whoa, I stopped all movement. “Are you serious?”

“I know, I know. Stupid. So here I am, wondering if I can be with a man like that.”

I couldn’t believe I was about to tell her this. “Listen, Franny. I don’t have many kind things to say about Cooper, but if he’s the man that’s going to make you happy, and you can forgive what he did, it might be worth it to see if the two of you have a future together.”

She threw her hands up and let them drop. “I don’t know if I can get past that! I mean, what kind of man does that?”

“A man with issues. But I had issues too, and if Caleb hadn’t gotten past them, we’d both be without our soul mates.” Oh my God, I can’t believe I used such a corny, cliché term. Gross.

She nodded. “I guess I have some things to think about.”

“He’s clean, right? No more pain meds and alcohol?” What the hell, I wasn’t going to beat around the bush at this point.

“He is now, I made sure of that.”

I let out a sigh of relief, then bit my lip to refrain from asking if Cooper had explained why he chose to abandon me. Because really, did it matter anymore?

One painful question I did ask, was if Cooper planned on inserting himself into Alex and Zander’s lives. She didn’t know.

Chapter 27

The kids down for the night, I decided to keep a promise to myself to pay better attention to my body. I checked myself from head to toe in the bathroom mirror, looking for signs of . . . something abnormal. The doctor cleared me for all physical activity, and I intended to start working out tomorrow. The change in my body pre-kids to post-kids still dazed me. Sometimes I forgot I wasn’t as thin and muscular a woman as I was a few years ago.

Caleb watched me scrutinize myself while he rinsed his face and brushed his teeth for bed, then pinched my butt. I yelped and slapped his hand away. “Knock it off.”

“It’s better, you know.”

I stood on my tip toes to check out my calves. “What’s better?”

He turned to face me. “Your body.” He tickle-pinched me a few more times.

I giggled and slapped him away some more. “You have to say that, you’re my husband.”

“I don’t have to say anything. It’s the truth. You’re more beautiful today than the day we met.” His pinches grew lighter and he pushed forward, forcing me to move backwards, out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He kept tickling, and I kept moving until my calves hit the bed. He stopped.

I raised my eyebrows in challenge. “Now what?”

He nudged me onto the bed, and joined me, both of us on our knees, face to face, inches apart. I trailed my hands over his shoulders and down his arms, then back up. I loved the feel of his triceps, his forearms, his everything. I kissed wherever I could reach—his jawline, neck, and when he lowered his face, his sexy mouth. Little by little the kisses grew in intensity. He wrapped one arm around my waist and lowered us so I was under him. That was my favorite place to be.

Straddling me, he captured my wrists and raised them above my head. He kissed me and held both my wrists into one of his hands. His other hand slid up my tank top and skimmed my breasts for a while, then he released my wrists and lowered his hand from my top.

He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” I cupped his face and led his lips to mine, raising my hips, hinting that, yes, I was ready.

Caleb studied my face. I smiled and raised my hips again.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Instead of answering, I slid my tank top off, and my pajama bottoms and panties down, then kicked them away.

He did the same with his clothes, and we explored each other’s bodies as if we hadn’t been together in years, instead of a couple of months.

I couldn’t wait anymore, so raised my hips once more. “Caleb, please.”

He kissed me once more, then stopped. “Hold on.” He reached over me to his bedside drawer and took out a condom. I snatched it from him and tossed it.

“I’m nursing. We’re good for a while.”

“Thank God,” he said, and made love to me for the first time since Vivian was born.

The next morning Caleb sipped coffee in the kitchen, wearing the smile of a man who had finally resumed the funnest of marital activities. I kissed him. “Good morning.”

He set down his coffee and held his arms out for me to hand Vivian to him. “Excellent morning. I’m going to be home late tonight. Cooper leaves for Tampa next week so I have two last interviews today, One’s at four and the other at five-thirty.”

I poured myself a cup, then grabbed Caleb’s coffee he had set down and brought it to the family room. “How’s the vibe between him and Franny?”

“It seems strained. 3D is so hectic that I don’t think either one of them has a spare minute to talk.”

After I’d told Caleb that Cooper confessed to fathering Alex and Zander to Franny, we agreed to not talk to Cooper unless we had to. If Cooper wasn’t going to rock the boat, we weren’t either. Cooper was undoubtedly under a lot of stress since the renovations had taken so long and he still hadn’t found suitable replacements for the Detroit branch 3D employees he transferred.

Cooper needed to concentrate on 3D, and that worked in our favor. He didn’t have time to think about us or the twins. I hoped, anyway.

“Molly,” Joy called down into the basement, “Katie’s on the phone for you.”

I set my guitar down and dashed upstairs. She’d been calling every day, nervous about returning to work. I picked up the phone.

“Turn on the TV,” she answered. “Channel thirty-eight.”

Once I found the remote, a picture of Gina Swinger filled the screen, sleek black hair down past her bra strap, stylish summer outfit that showed off her tan legs, and a man holding her hand. Dex.

The caption underneath the picture read:
Gina Swinger and Dex Parker Engaged!

The picture changed to a zoomed in shot of her left hand, with a big diamond on her ring finger. The show’s host blabbed on about carat size—at least three—and gave a run down on their romance.

I turned the TV off. “I give it one year,” I told Katie. “If that.”

Hearing the news that Gina was getting married to a total douchebag, well, it set off my men-can-be-scum songwriting spark. I tapped into it, grabbed my song journal, and wrote everything that came to mind.

Most of what came out was Song Wreckers-esque, but I wasn’t going to mess with the flow of thoughts that streamed from my brain to my hand.

I was on a creative roll for four days straight. I wrote day and night. In bed at night. Early in the morning. Sometimes, middle of the night.

During the day I played my guitar until the chords felt right and meshed with the lyrics. I had a strong foundation to build the rest of the album upon.

God, writing songs dogging men made me feel good. Which was fucked up since I didn’t believe that all men were scum. Some, sure. For the most part, the men I knew were good guys.

Except Adam of course. Grrr, that spurred me on more.

It took a few days, but I settled down. Knowing that anger had spurred my creative juices, I asked for some opinions to be sure my songs weren’t too far over the top. Commercial appeal was imperative.

Katie loved what I’d written.

Caleb said it scared the shit out of him.

Friday evening I alternated between stirring dinner, and fisting then opening my hand.
Open, close, open, close, wiggle the fingers, stir the sauce.

“What are you doing?” Caleb asked.

“Trying to get the cramp out of my hand.” This often happened when I wrote a lot.
Open, close, open, close, wiggle the fingers, stir the sauce.

He kissed the side of my neck while holding Vivian, and her legs brushed against my side. “Your phone’s been buzzing like crazy. Someone really needs to talk to you.”

I glanced at the counter where I kept my purse.
“Where’s—”

“Family room.”

I turned the heat down on the stove and grabbed my phone from the side pocket of my purse. Four missed calls, all from Cindy Swinger, Gina’s mother. I tapped on her name.

“Molly, thank goodness,” she answered.

I stepped over the kid gate into the kitchen. “Hey, Cindy. Sorry about missing your call, I forgot to turn the ringer up on my phone.”

“I assume you heard the news?”

“About Gina and Dex? Yeah, the other day.” I checked the status of the veggies—browned to perfection—then mixed in the cubed steak and sauce.

“You have to stop her.”

I set the wok down, mid-toss. “Stop her?”

“From marrying him. He’s no good for her. Molly, you have to help me with this.”

I picked up the wok and tossed the veggies around a few more times, then put the lid on. “What do you want me to do?”

I made the final click of the mouse. Five airfare tickets to Nashville purchased. I should be grateful Joy once again agreed to come with me, but part of me hoped she’d decline, giving me a reason to cancel. I still couldn’t bear to leave town without the kids.

Crystal Records needed an in-person update on my progress with the second album and Cindy wanted me to talk to Gina and see where her mindset was. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.

I spent the whole damn weekend packing two large suitcases and an overstuffed carry-on, which seemed ridiculous for two days. I didn’t know if I over-packed, or the kids and I really needed that much stuff.

Monday morning, I kissed Caleb goodbye. “I hate this,” I said, then laced my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck.

Caleb rubbed his hands down my back. “Me too. I just have to remember that it’s only a couple days and I have to work late most of this week anyway. Cooper’s flying to Tampa this morning, so I’m in charge again. I’ll miss you.”

He forced my tongue out of his mouth and left for work.

With a grumpy sigh, I began double checking to make sure I had everything. Joy showed up at nine-thirty and we were at the airport by ten a.m.

We found our gate and sat, keeping the kids in their strollers for as long as they’d tolerate.

The last time I was at the airport, I’d discovered the Adam-Creep connection. I knew I wasn’t in any sort of danger this time around since Adam sat in jail. Still, the memory rattled my nerves.

“Do you mind if I do some looking around?” Joy asked. “I haven’t been here in years.”

“Not at all. Take your time.” Vivian slept while the boys played with books and ate cereal puffs I’d dumped on their trays. “Can you pick me up some breath mints?” I reached into my purse for money.

“Sure,” she said, ignoring the five dollar bill I held out.

Two strollers, three kids, and a carry-on bag was a lot to keep in my sights at all times. Probably, if I blinked too long some asshole would stash a hunk of drugs in my stuff and
I’d
get blamed. Airports don’t make the “don’t leave luggage unattended” announcements every ten minutes for nothing.

“Not gonna happen,” I said to myself. “This mama ain’t going to jail.” Note to self: that could make a kick-ass song title.

The lady sitting to my right sized up and my kids, then relocated away from us. Score! More room to spread out. I took a deep breath.

Oh God, that smell.

Shit.

Literally.

I bent forward and sniffed Vivian. Nope, not her. I leaned left and stuck my face near Zander’s butt. Yup, him. Then Alex’s butt. Him, too.

I searched for Joy, ignoring several people who wrinkled their noses at me.

I didn’t see her so I grabbed my phone and sent her a text letting her know I’d be in the restroom with the kids. Code brown times two.

I jammed my purse and bag in the already-f bins of the strollers.

How? How in the hell do you wheel two strollers, both heavy with stuff?

I grabbed Vivian’s stroller with one hand and pushed it forward while I grabbed the twins’ stroller with the other hand and hauled it behind me. The four of us made a long line; single stroller, me with my arms stretched out, double stroller.

It figured our gate was the furthest point from the restroom.

I changed all three kids in the restroom and nursed Vivian since it was quiet and there was a cushioned chair setup in the corner.

Just thinking about the trek to our seats gave me pause. People could be rude and have no consideration for others. With a deep breath for patience I turned left toward our gate, at the same time a man rushed out of the men’s restroom and turned right, almost plowing right into Vivian.

“Sorry, Ma’am,” he mumbled.

That voice. I looked at the man who almost ran into my baby and froze. “Cooper.”