Alluring Turmoil (29 page)

I’m so stupid.

I manage to get back to the airport, and I book a flight home that leaves in four hours. I call Erik and tell him through my tears that I’m on my way home, that this was a mistake, and that I’ll explain once I get back.

My phone rings after an hour and I see the Caller ID.

“Rocker Who Loves You”

Ignoring the call, I turn off the phone and lay my head back on the seat. I cry and cry, until I have no tears left.

My plane lands around 10PM. It’s been one day and my life is in tatters. Erik and Bradi meet me at the airport and as soon as I see them, I fall into Erik’s arms and cry tears I can’t possibly still have. Bradi immediately starts asking questions, but Erik tells her to stop and wait until we get home before asking them.

I lay across the backseat. I feel like someone has ripped out my insides and my heart is in a vice. Bradi and Erik talk quietly in the front seat while I just
exist
in a haze of pain in the back.

Erik carries me into the house once we pull up and places me on my bed in my room. Bradi follows him in, wringing her hands. She helps me get undressed and into some flannel pants and a long sleeved shirt. I am freezing. My insides feel like ice. Without her help, there’s no way I could have done it.

She sits me up in the bed and props pillows behind my back before snuggling against me and just hugging me. A few minutes later, Erik walks in holding a cup of tea. I don’t want tea… I hate tea. Jude drinks tea.

They look at each other and then Erik crosses to the bed and sits down. He scoots me over so that I’m in between Bradi and him. Taking my cold hand in his, he asks, “What happened, Lexi?”

I just look at them. My eyes are so full of pain and my body just feels cold. Empty.

And then it all tumbles out… I tell them about getting to the house and Clove. How beautiful she is. That she lives there with Jude. That she had no idea who I was. All of it… I scream and cry and then I’m just silent. I slumped over at some point and Erik has my head cradled in his lap, just smoothing my hair off of my tear streaked face.

His hands still when I’m done. He moves them from my face and I can see him clench his fists. His knuckles are white.

“Mother Fucker! I warned that mother fucker. How could he do this? Why would he do this to you? He swore to me that he loved you. I believed that he loved you. How the fuck could he
do this again
?” Erik is raging.

Bradi’s eyes are huge and she starts ranting. “I’m going to kill him! I told him not to hurt you too! I told him! I’m going to fucking cut his dick off! I’m going to kill that stupid fucking ‘rock star’!”

I listen to the two of them go on and on, both intense in their rage over it all. I should feel rage. I should be mad. But I feel
nothing…

Why don’t I feel anything? Ha. I’m broken. How pathetic am I? Not only did I let Jude Delecroix break my heart back then, but now, this time, I let him break me. And I don’t even care… I’m too tired to care…

Lexi

I
must have passed out. My head hurts and I squint as I look over at the alarm clock. It’s 5:15 in the morning. My mind goes over and over yesterday’s events and I’m still numb, but now I’m starting to get pissed.

How dare he do this to me… Again!

I believed him and that’s on me, but I’ll be damned if he’s going to ruin my life! I had a good life before he pushed his way back in and I
will
have a good life again.

Who needs him anyway?

My internal pep talk works. I sit up. Bradi is asleep next to me. Almost as if he heard me stirring, Erik walks into the room and hands me a cup of coffee. He smoothes my hair and kisses my forehead.

“How are you, love?” I look at him, taking in the circles under his eyes and his unshaven face. He apparently didn’t sleep last night.

Kissing his cheek, I answer him. “I’m ok.” My throat sounds like I swallowed a frog. “Thank you.”

He smiles sadly and kisses my nose. “For what? I couldn’t stop him from hurting you.”

“Thank you for being there for me. You’re always there for me, Erik. You’ve
always
been there for me. I love you.” I rub my nose against his whiskers.

He sighs and I see he’s holding something in his other hand. He holds out his hand to me.

My phone…

He looks at me and says, “Jude called all night. Like forty times. And he’s texted too. What are you going to do, Lex? You didn’t see him yesterday. He’s just going to keep calling.”

Just then my phone rings again, and “
Rocker Who Loves You
” and the pic of us from bed pops up. I hit ignore and throw the phone down.

“Let him call. I don’t owe him shit! I need to shower. I’m going to work today.” Then looking around my room, I ask Erik, “Can you grab all of his shit and pack it up? I’ll go drop it off at his house, along with his keys, after work. I don’t want it here.”

Erik frowns, but says he will.

I leave him to go shower. Jude’s shampoo and body wash as well as his razor are in the shower. I sweep them all to the ground, finish my shower, and get dressed.

When I’m done, I walk back into the bathroom and grab his toiletries. Erik has a box on the bed full of Jude’s things. All of his clothes and a few other things are in there. I add the shampoo, body wash, and razor before closing it.

Bradi is in the kitchen with Erik and they are talking quietly, but urgently. They have my phone.

“What’s going on, y’all?” I ask.

They both look up and Bradi wrings her hands.

“What? What happened?”

Bradi points at Erik and says, “Jude called Erik. Erik told him never to call you again and if he did, he would kill him.”

I look from one to the other. “Ok. Is that all?”

Bradi frowns and says, “No. As soon as Erik hung up on him, Jude called your phone. Five times. I answered it and screamed at him, telling him what a lying piece of shit he was, and told him to leave you alone.”

“Is
that
all?”

“Well, no… then he texted you. Here.” Bradi looks really nervous.

“Fucking Lying Prick

LEXI?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Why are you avoiding my calls and texts?

You HAVE to talk to me.

Why the fuck are Erik and Bradi threatening to kill me???

Call me back. Please.”

I raise my eyes at the name, but then shrug. “Ok. I have nothing to say to him, so I’m good.”

“You’re not mad at us, Lex?” asks Erik.

“Nope. Not at all. Thank you, both. You’re good friends and I love you.” I hug both of them and then walk to my room to get my shoes.

“Ok, I’m going to work. I have a lot I can be doing today. Erik, you can come in later if you want to. I can handle it for a bit,” I call out as I walk back out, and grab my keys before heading out of the door.

I know I’m acting strange but I can’t just sit here, and work will keep me busy.

I head off to Java and Sweeties.

We’re insanely busy! It’s like everyone in town wanted a coffee or some sweets and they all came here. Erik showed up about an hour after me and he’s been watching me all day. It’s kind of making me nervous.

Bradi has also been here most of the day. She’s set up her laptop on one of the tables, and says she’s working, but she’s watching me more than the laptop.

It’s as if they both think I’m going to lose it.

I talk to the customers and take orders. I even make coffee when the pots get low. But no matter how I look on the outside, my heart is broken on the inside.

I just don’t understand. How did this get so messed up?

A little after four the bakery display starts to run low, so I run to the back to grab some things to fill it. My eye catches the box near my office. It’s Jude’s things. I plan on dropping it off at his house once I leave here.

I’m in the kitchen stacking cookies on a tray, when I hear a commotion out front. Putting the tray down, I run out to see what the hell is going on. My mouth drops open as I stop and take in the scene in the shop. Erik has Jude in a headlock and Micah, Alec, Dade, and Jessie are all trying to break them apart. Bradi is screaming at them both and people are gaping openmouthed at the spectacle.

Erik is screaming at Jude. “I warned you! I fucking warned you. I told you not to hurt her! But no, you just couldn’t help it, could you? I should kill you!”

Jude is shoving against Erik’s stomach and lands a blow that loosens his hold on him. He shoves Erik, hard.
“WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?”

Both are breathing heavily. I’m still standing there in shock. What the fuck is happening? What is Jude doing here? He’s supposed to be in L.A.

Micah and Alec are struggling to hold Erik and Dade and Jessie are near Jude. Erik is trying to get back to Jude, as he still rages at him. “Why would you do this to her, Jude? Again! Do you not care about how much you hurt her?”

Jude looks at me. His eyes find mine. His face is strained and his jaw is clenched. “What the hell is going on, Lexi? Why won’t you answer my calls? Why are you avoiding me? And why the fuck is
he
attacking me?” He points at Erik.

Bradi screams at him. “You’re a fucking liar, Jude Delecroix! How could you
do
that to her?”

He ignores her and looks at me. “What exactly did I
do,
Lex?”

I shake my head and tears pool in my eyes. I can’t answer him.

“Baby, baby why are you crying? What the fuck is going on?” He comes over to me and tries to take my hands, but I step back from him. I see pain flash across his face at my rejection.

Erik breaks free of Micah and Alec and lunges at Jude, punching him square in the face. Jude stumbles and blood runs down his face from his nose and split lip.

“Walk away, Jude! For God’s sake, leave her alone! Can’t you see you’re hurting her? You’ve hurt her enough. Leave her the fuck alone!”

Jude looks shell-shocked as he holds his face and blood runs down his hands. He looks from me to Erik and back.

“I hurt her? How the
fuck
did I hurt
her
? Someone tell me what I did. All I did… all I’ve ever done, is love her.” His voice breaks at the end.

“You cheated on her, you bastard! Again!” Bradi screams at him.

“I WHAT?”
he roars. “Bullshit! I’ve never cheated on her! Not one time. Ever! I wouldn’t do that to her.” His face is covered in shock and blood as he stares at me. His eyes are pleading with me to believe him.

“But you did, Jude.” My voice is low. “I saw you. I saw you and– and I heard you and then yesterday… oh God yesterday…” I manage to speak through my tears.

The shop is deathly quiet and everyone is glued to the chaos happening here.

“Lexi, what the fuck are you talking about? I have
NEVER
cheated on you! Ever!”

“Why are you lying to me, Jude? Please stop. Oh God, just stop. I can’t take this. I can’t handle this again… only this time, this time it’s so much worse.” I fall to my knees on the floor and curl into myself. Bradi runs over and grabs me, cradling me in her arms.

“Someone better fucking start explaining! LIKE FUCKING NOW!”
Jude screams at no one and everyone.

I hear Erik grate out, “Eight years ago, Jude! You’d just been signed. There was a party in New Orleans with the label. You asked Lexi to come with you… to give up college and all of her dreams to come with you to L.A. She was scared. You fought. You told her to meet you at the party if she changed her mind. And you left! Well she did come to meet you! I drove her to New Orleans that night. She decided that
you
were more important to her than her dreams. We went to the party and you weren’t there! She got a key to your suite from the desk and went up to see you. You were in the room, Jude! You were with a girl in the room! She
SAW
you. You asshole. She walked in and saw the man she loved fucking someone else! So, you want to tell us again how you never cheated on her?” He spits it out. He’s breathing heavily, and trying to get to Jude again.