Alluring Turmoil (14 page)

Jude is running his fingers through my hair and staring at the stars and full moon, visible though the open gazebo top. “Lex?” I feel his breath ruffle my hair as his soft words float across my skin. God, I love his voice. It’s like sex. Everything about him is so erotic.

“Yeah?”

He breathes deeply before speaking. “What’s going on here, Lex? What are we doing?” I feel his muscles clench.

“I don’t know, Jude. What are we doing?”

His hands tighten in my hair as he pulls my head back so that I’m looking at him.

“I know what I want. I want to see what’s here. I want to be with you. I want to see if this time, we can make this work. But it’s not up to me. So you tell me what we’re doing, Lexi.”

“I like this. I like whatever this is. But I’m scared. God, Jude. I want to be with you too.” My hands are shaking on his chest and tears start to fill my eyes, but I hold them in. This man has the power to destroy me and as much as I want him, as much as I want to just forget everything, I’m so scared. “Can’t we just… be? For now.”

He sighs and leans down to kiss my eyes and the corner of my mouth. “Yes, Lex. Let’s just take it slow, ok? But we need to talk about what happened…”

“No. No, Jude. We don’t. Let’s just start from here, ok? I don’t want old hurts and the past to jeopardize the here and now. So please, can we
not
talk about it and just… start fresh?!?!”

Talking about the past is not ok with me. I cannot go back to that kind of pain. I pray he agrees with me.

He grimaces. “I don’t know if that’s the wisest decision, Lex, but yes, if that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do. And I mean it; we’ll go slowly with each other, ok?”

I smile at him and quirk an eyebrow. “We’re both naked from the waist down and your dick was just in my mouth. That’s taking it slow?!”

He blushes, but responds with a smirk. “Of course! And I mean no sex for now… we can do all sorts of other fun things; but let’s get back to knowing each other a bit before I put you in a coma from sex with me.” His brows are wiggling and the mood is once again lightened.

I roll my eyes and laugh. “No sex? You think you can handle that, Jude? And a coma… really?!?! Damn, Rock Star, there’s that ego again!”

“Don’t hate. It comes with the territory.” He sticks his tongue out at me… like a little kid. “And yes, I can handle it. Can you? You’re the one sending ‘Fuck me. Fuck me now’ signals out. Don’t jump me!”

“Oh my God, you’re delusional, Jude Delecroix!”

“Nuh uh. Am not. You’ve been molesting me with your eyes and sending out those beacons since you saw me yesterday.” He touches his mouth. “Even when you split my lip last night, you were looking at me like you wanted to eat me!” He’s outright teasing me now.

I kiss his lip, where I haven’t noticed until now is a little swollen. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I hit you. I’ve never hit anyone in my life. But I was mad. And in my defense, you baited me. But I am sorry.”

I kiss his mouth again and lift my shoulders in a slightly embarrassed shrug.

He chuckles. “I can’t believe you hit me either. It was unexpected… and oddly hot! But I did bait you. I had just watched you rubbing all over some guy who had his hands all over you on the dance floor. I was… well, I was jealous. Then your friend walked up and I just wanted to get a rise out of you. I didn’t mean any of what I said. I’m sorry, Lex.” He drops his eyes, looking really sheepish.

I lift his head with my finger to capture his eyes again. “You’re forgiven. This time! You were jealous? Really? That. Is. Hot!” I punctuate each of the last words with a hard kiss on his mouth.

He gives me a quick bruising kiss on the mouth and sits up, pulling me with him. “Yes, I was jealous. I don’t like it. But I do like that you think I’m hot. Now get your sexy ass up and get dressed! I need to get you home. It’s late and I know you have work tomorrow. And you really need to put some clothes on already. Knowing you’re naked is
very
distracting.” He swats my bare ass to emphasize his point.

I lean over to kiss him one more time, looking into his eyes, and get up to find my clothes.

Jude

So Lexi and I are together. She’s agreed to see what’s here. I can’t believe this. There are things I wish we’d talked about, because the past has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass if you ignore it, but I’m willing to do whatever she wants to do. I just pray that this time, we are strong enough to make it.

I can’t lose her again. I won’t.

I watch her getting dressed and take in her beauty. I don’t know what it is about her, but Lexi is my muse. My Madonna. Sure she’s gorgeous. That flowing red hair and those amazing golden brown eyes, along with that curvy body… sheer perfection; but it’s more than that. It’s the little things that make her Lexi. The look she gives me when she’s calling me on my bullshit… The glint in her eyes when she sets her mind to something… The way she bites her lip when she’s nervous… She’s perfect… She’s just Lexi…

I button my jeans and slip back into my boots as she zips her skirt and turns around to face me. The moon’s glow is at her back and it looks like she’s a mirage, a vision, an ethereal creature. Then, she smiles and holds her hand out. I snap out of my trance and reach for her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.

We hold hands as we grab our uneaten food and head back through the house, turning off lights as we go. I lock up my house,
my house
, and help Lexi onto the bike and we head towards her house in the dark.

Lexi

Jude pulls into my neighborhood and I wonder how he knows where Erik and I live. I haven’t told him. We’ve been silent and content for the fifteen minutes it’s taken to get from Jude’s house to mine. He pulls onto my street and pulls into my driveway, behind my car, before cutting the engine.

Stepping off of the bike, he helps me up before removing our helmets and pulling me into his chest with his arms around me.

“Jude, how did you know where I live? I didn’t tell you.” I ask.

He looks away from me and at the cement of the driveway while he answers quietly. “I’ve known where you lived since you bought this house, Lex. I still know a lot of people who know you… I’ve kept up with what’s been going on in your life.”

I gasp. I’m shocked. “You’ve kept up with me? All these years? Why???”

He runs his thumb over my lips as he looks back at me. “Why do you think, Lex? Even when I hated you, I still had this need to know that you were ok. I never asked, but I was always told… and I savored that information.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t… I mean I never… Oh, wow.” I can’t form a thought at the moment and I don’t know what I’m thinking about this information, so I do the only thing I do know I want to do. I wrap my arms around his waist, stand up on my tiptoes, and kiss him.

He meets my lips with his own and we kiss softly, sweetly, for a moment.

I open my mouth and run my tongue over his lips, centering on the spot I split last night with my fist. I gently run my tongue over the slight bump. He groans and opens his mouth and the kiss deepens.

I don’t know how long we kiss, but it’s probably awhile. We’re both breathless when we finally break apart. I lay my head on his chest and ask, “Where are you staying?”

“I don’t have furniture yet, and I didn’t know how long I was going to be looking for a house; so I have a suite at the Hilton Downtown.”

“Stay here. Tonight I mean. Stay the night…
here
… with me.”

He looks deep into my eyes and considers my offer. “Are you sure? No sex, remember? And what about Erik? He’s not going to like it.”

I roll my eyes at him and poke him lightly in the chest. “Yes, I’m sure. I didn’t offer to have sex with you. I offered to let you sleep in my bed. It’s none of Erik’s business. I’m a grown woman and you’re a grown man. Besides, he’ll get over it. But my feet hurt and I need to shower, so are you coming in or not?”

Smiling at me with something like adoration in his eyes, he replies, “Yes, Lex. I’m coming in with you. But I’m pretty dirty. Do I get a shower? And if Erik tries to murder me in my sleep, I’m counting on you to protect me!”

Smirking I grab his hand and pull him towards the house. “Hell yes, you need to shower! You aren’t getting into my 1600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets like you are now! And yes, oh weak one, I shall protect you from the strong knight by shielding you with my delicate body if he tries to maim you.”

He laughs out loud and slaps my ass. “You’re such a smartass! What am I going to do with you?”

Jude

I’m spending the night with Lexi. God, yes! I get to hold her in my arms all night. Maybe tonight I’ll finally sleep soundly. Eight years of insomnia is too damn long.

The house is dark and quiet as Lexi unlocks the door and leads me through the living room. She flips off the lamps that Erik has left on for her, and we head down a hall to her bedroom.

My shoulders relax as I realize I’ve escaped another confrontation with Erik. I know he and I need to talk and I need to let him know my intentions, but I’m really hoping it doesn’t come to blows.

I’m a lover not a fighter, and as much as I do love and respect him, even after he abandoned me, I know when it comes to Lexi… I won’t back down.

Lexi

I
lead Jude into my room, flip on the light, and close the door with my foot before kicking off my shoes. He’s been oddly quiet since we’ve come in. I hope he hasn’t changed his mind. I really want to sleep in his arms tonight.

It’s been eight years since I’ve spent the night with a man. Well, other than Erik and that is strictly platonic, of course.

Jude has one shoulder propped against my door and he’s looking around my room. Clearing my throat and swallowing to moisten my suddenly dry mouth, I attempt to speak.

I can’t speak. I can’t do anything but stare at Jude. He’s so exquisite. And he’s here… in my house… in my room.

His blond hair is a little longer than before and he wears it spiked now. The tips are now a lighter shade of purple, but I like it. I like it on
him
. It suits him.

His eyebrows are two shades darker than his hair, making them more brown than blonde. His eyes are the same crystal clear hazel and I remember how they change depending on his mood and his clothing.