All Through the Night (Liar's Web) (27 page)

“
Don't ever be too proud to tell me what you're feeling. I've been going out of my mind not being with you,” he said with a groan. “I don't ever want to feel this way again.”

She pulled him down to her level by the collar of his shirt, showering him with a multitude of kisses all over his face. “You've done so much for me. You've guarded me, nurtured me, sustained me through one of the darkest times in my life. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, loving me, showing me the way.”

“
Baby, you've given me what I thought I'd never have…love.”

“
You deserve to be loved more than any man I've ever known.”

Jake leaned down and kissed her feverishly, his lips moving over hers in a kiss that spoke of deep love and desire. Although she wanted to go on kissing him forever, she placed her hands on his muscled chest and gently pushed him away from her.

“
I have something to tell you,” she announced, her gut tightening in expectation of the news she was about to deliver. “Something I haven't been able to tell anyone else. I really don't want to hurt my family, but I need to get this out before I explode.”

Ever since the shooting at the Sugar Shack she'd been struggling with strong flashes of memory that had nothing to do with Ronnie's death. The dreams she'd been having since childhood about a raging fire and the smell of burnt leaves had been getting stronger and more frequent. After remembering Andre killing Ronnie and the trauma of Lenny's shooting, Darcel had recovered a memory from her past that had left her reeling in shock. It was time, she realized. Time to tell Jake what she remembered about her family.

“
I remember, Jake. I remember what happened to me. And my birth family,” she said in a choked voice. She saw the surprise in his eyes and the beginnings of a smile as he silently encouraged her to tell him all about her discovery. In a halting voice, she began to tell him about what had happened to her family on New Year's Eve when she was five years old.

Chapter Seventeen

Guilford, Connecticut, 1988

“
I'm not too little to stay up. I'm not!” The little girl with the wild mane of corkscrew curls stood with her hands firmly planted on her hips, her peanut head tilted at a sassy angle as she prepared to do battle.

“
You may be able to hang tough, Darcie, but this old man is dog tired. You girls ran me ragged today. Everyone else is asleep, bubbling brown sugar.”

“
I wanna stay up till the ball drops. I wanna see the new year,” the little girl protested, her bottom lip quivering with a mixture of defiance and emotion.

The old man looked at his watch and sighed. “Child, it's only eleven o'clock. Those droopy eyes of yours are sleepier than Rip Van Winkle.”

“
Grampy, when is Mama coming home?” Darcie asked in a plaintive voice.

She'd asked her grandfather the same question a dozen times or more during the evening, and she knew she'd probably ask it a dozen more until Mama arrived home safe and sound. Her grandpa patted her hand reassuringly.

“
She'll be getting home ‘fore too long, I imagine. If I know your mama, she'll be missing her girls too much to stay away for much longer.”

“
Mommy looked like Cinderella tonight, all shiny and sparkly.” Darcie began to twirl around in circles, curtseying low to the ground in her imaginary shimmery dress. “Bippity boppity boo,” she sang in an off-key voice.

“
She sure did, pumpkin. She sure ‘nuff did,” Grampy replied with a chuckle. “Dorothy's always been a looker.”

“
I miss Mommy, but I want her to have fun with Uncle Conrad.” Darcie knew Mommy had been so sad ever since Daddy died. Even though Uncle Conrad looked right through Darcie and her sisters, she liked the way her Mommy lit up like a Christmas tree whenever he was around. It didn'
t
 
take much to make Mommy beautiful. She used to be a famous model and everything, that's what Grampy always said.

“
Grampy, I have an idea. Let's get the sparkling champagne and the fancy glasses out from the hutch. Let's have a party!” Darcie squealed with delight at the brilliance of her own idea.

As Dick Clark counted down the numbers from a booth in Times Square, Grampy and Darcie watched as the silvery ball made its rapid descent to the ground. Darcie brought her mahogany hands together and clapped with delight, her laughter sounding like tinkling bells in the silence of the house. Darcie raised her glass and clinked Grampy's flute, the way her Mommy had shown her last New Year's Eve. She felt like a fancy princess on this special night.

“
Happy New Year, Grampy,” she shouted as she planted a wet kiss on his lips.

“
Happy New Year, peanut,” he said as he smoothed back her unruly hair and watched as her eyelids grew heavier and she began to nod off to sleep.

As she drifted to sleep, Darcie imagined her father was still alive and she dreamt of being swept up in his powerful pumpernickel-colored arms and thrown high in the air until she could almost touch the sky. “Papa,” she murmured as her Grampy lifted her in his arms and carried her upstairs to her bedroom, the pink-and-white princess room she'd begged for on her last birthday. As he carried her down the hall, they passed by Chanty's room, and she saw her two sisters huddled together in the bed, both of them fast asleep.

Darcie couldn't breathe. She felt like she was choking. No air. The nasty smell of smoke. She felt herself being carried, lifted out of the darkness. A cold blast of air hit her face, and she shivered in the bitter chill of the January night. She felt herself falling, tumbling until she was ankle-deep in a snow bank. Suddenly, Grampy's face was next to hers, black and ashy like a cigarette tray. He was on his knees, cradling her in his arms. His mouth was open, and he was talking to her, but everything was so confusing. What was he saying? Why was she outside in the cold with Grampy? What was that yucky burning smell?

Grampy placed his hands on her shoulders and gently shook her small body. “Peanut, you stay here away from the house. I've got to go back for your sisters. The fire truck should be here any minute if there's a God in heaven.”

Darcie watched as Grampy limped back toward the house, his breathing ragged and heaving. She wrapped her arms around her waist, silently thanking her lucky stars she'd worn her flannel bunny pajamas, the baby blue ones with the woolly feet. Santa had brought them, along with the Barbie townhouse, an Easy Bake oven, a Slinky, and a Strawberry Shortcake doll. Santa brought Chanty matching pajamas, only hers were pink.

Flames were everywhere now, lapping against the yellow farmhouse like a fire-breathing dragon brought to life. Was she dreaming? If she pinched herself, would she wake up in her own princess room, far away from this scary dream? Grampy had given her the special honor of picking the shade of paint for the house. She'd picked a special shade of yellow because it reminded her of her favorite vegetable: corn. Corn yellow, Francine had called it. Magical yellow, she'd insisted.

Why was this happening? Where was Mama?And Grampy? Why hadn't he come back? As the minutes ticked by she was gripped by fear and panic. She stood under the maple tree watching as the fire engine roared into the stone driveway, waiting to see the faces of those she loved being rescued from the smoke and flames. The longer sh
e
 
waited, the more her fear grew, until she could no longer contain her sobs of anguish.

For the first time in her life, she was alone.

* * * *

Jake held her as the tears freely ran down her face and the sobs wracked her petite frame. His own heart was breaking for her as she struggled with the knowledge her entire family had perished in a house fire. It didn't matter that she hadn't seen them in over twenty years or that her memories of her loved ones were fragmented and scattered. She remembered the love and comfort of her mother, her sisters, and her beloved Grampy. He knew she ached at the realization that her grandfather sacrificed his life to save his family.

All he wanted to do was take away her pain, to ease the grief coursing through her. But he knew from his own experience with loss that healing was a process. She would walk through it at her own pace, whether it took weeks, months, or years. And hopefully, she would get through it without any emotional scarring. Either way, he wasn't going anywhere. He would be right by her side, waiting to catch her if she fell.

“
What can I do?” he asked as he stroked her hair.

“
Stay with me.” She reached for his hand and firmly clasped it in her own.

“
I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered against her temple. “Not now. Not ever. We'll walk through this together.”

“
I need concrete answers. I don't want to go through the rest of my life wondering what happened to my family. I need proof that this memory is real.”

Jake kissed her temple, wanting more than anything to give her the support she needed. He'd go to the ends of the earth to give her the closure she needed to make peace with the past. “We'll get the proof, baby. I promise you. We'll find the answers if it takes us the rest of our lives.”

Confusion was stamped all over her face, along with a sadness that nearly brought him to his knees. “I need to talk to my parents. I've always suspected that they were holding back information about my birth family. They must've known something about the fire from the adoption agency. I can't imagine that they wouldn't disclose such information.”

He patted her hand reassuringly, his physical contact with her warm and soothing. “Once you've processed all this, we'll sit down and talk to them. We should probably find a counselor for you to talk to about all this. But for now I just want you to breathe. So much has happened in the last few weeks—it's a lot to take in.”

Darcel smiled through a haze of tears, her voice wavering a bit. “You're always taking care of me,” she said. “You're the most honorable man I've ever known. I'm so thankful I have you in my life. Jake, I love you so much.”

Joy flowed through him as he heard her utter those three little words. A few hours ago he'd believed the worst—that their relationship was over. He'd never imagined she would forgive him, that she'd allow him back into her life and her heart. Darcel had shown him she trusted him implicitly by laying herself bare and sharing her most heart-wrenching truth about her birth family. As his mother had once predicted, he'd found a love like no other. And above all else, her happiness meant the world to him.

“
We have a lot to be thankful for, don't we?” he asked. He was still feeling a little dazed by everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours.

“
Yes, we do,” she said with a huge smile. “Love is a wonderful thing.”

Jake leaned down and nuzzled her nose with his own before his lips slanted over hers in a sensual, passionate kiss. Darcel kissed him back, sliding her tongue into his mouth and raising his body temperature a few notches. He wanted her so badly. No, it was more than want. He needed her. The days and nights they'd spent apart had been pure torture. A type of hell he never wanted to experience again in this lifetime.

“
Have mercy, woman.” He groaned as desire sliced through him.

Darcel shot him a flirtatious smile. “Let's go home, Trueblood. It's my turn to give you a bubble bath.”

Jake grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him, his lips blazing a seductive path down the side of her neck. “Only if you'll join me in the tub.”

Chapter Eighteen

Six weeks later

Darcel lay atop Jake, both of their bodies sweaty and flushed from hours of making love. Her head was plastered to his chest, her hair a riot of wavy curls against his bronze skin. He ran his fingers through her hair, his hand lingering by her neck where he gently kneaded the muscles as she moaned her appreciation.

“
Loving you has changed me,” he said, a hint of wonder in his voice.

“
I know,” she replied with a smirk as she rolled off his chest. “You used to hate me.”

He reached out and placed his finger across her lips, effectively silencing her.

“
I never hated you. I don't think I even really disliked you. Deep down inside I think I was always into you, from the moment I first saw you on that billboard hawking your agency.” He ran his fingers through his long mane to get it out of his face. “Remember that night at Tumbleweeds? There was so much sexual tension between us I had to take a cold shower when I got home.”

“
Sexual tension, huh?” she asked with a grin. “If we'd only acknowledged it back then, we wouldn't have wasted so much time.”

He reached his arms around her waist and pulled her against him so she was being held tightly in his arms. “We've got all the time in the world to make up for it.”

“
That's one story we're not going to tell the kids. Kids never want to hear about their parents having sex,” Darcel said.

“
Kids. Wow. Imagine us having a bunch of rug rats.”

“
Yeah, imagine,” she agreed as her mouth began to twitch uncontrollably.