Authors: Josh Aterovis
All Things Lost (28 page)
“I started working to get myself out of there as soon as possible. I thought if I could just make it to graduation I could get a scholarship and go away. I worked my ass off to get straight A's. You'd think he'd be proud of me for that at least, wouldn't you? Well he wasn't. He resented me, said I thought I was better than him. So he beat me more. The only way I could avoid the beatings was to avoid him. You can only hide so long before you have to come out for food or to go to the bathroom, or something. He'd be waiting. And then it would just be worse, like he was saving it up.
“You want to know if I chopped my dad up into little pieces and roasted him like a
pig?
God, I fantasized about killing him a million times. I killed him over and over again, a different way every time. It was like a game, How Many Ways Can I Kill Daddy? Sometimes I'd finish him off fast just to get him out of my life, but sometimes I'd drag it out, torture him until he begged me to kill him. But you know what? When it came down to it I never did anything except hide and take the beatings. You
wanna
know why?
Because I'm a pussy.
A weak scared worthless piece of shit.
I don't know who killed my father and I don't really give a damn, but I wish to hell that I had done it.”
He slumped back against the wall, slowly sliding down to the concrete floor, his chest heaving, and his eyes burning with hatred. I sat a minute trying to catch my own breath. I'd never been in the presence of such intense emotion, not even when I had been face to face with Todd. Insanity is far different from hatred. And yet I didn't feel like Caleb was evil, just horrible damaged.
“I…I don't know what to say,” I said at last.
“There's nothing to say. That's my life, shitty as it is. I'm a punching bag and that's all I'll ever be.”
“No, it's not all you are. You're more than that.” I was suddenly desperate for him to believe it, to believe it myself.
“No I'm not,” he said with a quiet finality.
“Yes you are. I'll get you out of here, you'll see.”
“And what?
Wisk me off to
“It'll be better than being in jail for something you didn't do.”
He gave me a strange look that I couldn't decipher. “Will it?
One foster home after another until I get kicked out of the system at 18?
I'll just be another statistic.”
“You don't know that. It could be different for you.”
“And I suppose you're going to help me, Jimmy Olsen?”
“Yes!”
“How?”
“I'm going to find out who killed your father.”
“Good luck. The police seem pretty damn sure it was me.”
“We'll find you an alibi.”
His eyes skittered away. “I told you I don't have one.”
“Then we find the real killer.”
“And then we spin straw into gold.”
“God, you've got a shitty attitude. I'm trying to help here.”
He
slumped
a little lower. “You're right. I'm sorry.”
“Good, how about if you answer a few questions?”
“Like what?”
I took a deep breath and decided to start with an easy question first. “What was your relationship like with the Haynes?”
“Becky and Terry?
They're real nice, why?”
“Were they protective of you?”
“What do you mean protective? They tried to watch out for me. There wasn't much they could do.”
“Did you know they had a baby die at child care from child abuse?”
“No! That's awful! Becky never…Wait a minute! You're not trying to say they did it, are you?”
“We're looking into everyone involved.”
“No way.
They are the only people who ever gave a damn about me. They would have let me stay with them but Dad knew they helped me and that would have been the first place he looked. They gave me food, a sleeping bag, even a mattress.”
“Which you kept in the barn loft.”
His eyes narrowed but he stayed quiet.
“I found it. I've been up there. You really like Doritos, huh?”
Still no answer.
“I found the magazine too.
And the lube.
Oh yeah, and the condom…the used one.”
He glared at me silently.
“Look Caleb, we know you hid out in the barn. I can't say I blame you. We also know you met someone out there. We need to know who it was.”
“There wasn't anyone,” he said finally.
“We know there was. He was seen climbing into the barn after you.”
“There wasn't anyone,” he repeated.
“Caleb, this could be important. We need to talk to everyone involved. Maybe this person can give you an alibi; we could get you out of here.”
“Find another way.”
“Caleb, you're not being reasonable. We need to talk to this person.”
“I told you, there isn't any person. I don't know what you're talking about.”
“This is crazy! How can I help you if you won't help me?”
“Then don't help me. It wasn't my idea anyway. It was Asher's.” He stood up and walked to the door. “We're done in here,” he yelled.
“Caleb, please.
How can I trust you if you won't tell me the truth?”
“I guess you can't,” he said softly as the guard opened the door. He walked out without looking back once, leaving me facing an empty room. The door slammed shut with an echoing crash.
Chapter 16
I was very discouraged after my disastrous interview with Caleb. I had not only failed to learn anything of significance, I had angered him to the point that he had walked out on me. I dreaded telling Novak of my ineptitude but to my surprise he was very understanding.
“It happens to the best of us, kid,” he said in an assuring tone, “It's not your fault if he refuses to help us. It just makes me wonder what he's hiding.”
“Do you think he's protecting someone?”
“Either that or he's as guilty as hell.”
I was driving home when I had one of my sudden brainstorms. You'd think that by now I would have known better than to trust these urges that came out of the blue, but I turned in the direction of my old neighborhood, where Asher still lived.
I drove past the house where I had grown up. A new family lived there now. After his public disgrace and ensuing legal problems, my father had been forced to sell the house. It was strange to drive by and see young children playing on the lawn. I hoped they would be happier there than I had been.
I pulled into Asher's driveway and jumped out of the Mustang. I was barely out of the car when the door to the house flew open and out poured half the
Davis
clan. Bethany, Marcus, Jake and Jamie all crowded around the car to
oo
and ah and I remembered that only Jake had seen it before. Asher trailed out after them, looking slightly bewildered to find me in his driveway.
“Sweet,” Marcus breathed in a slightly awed voice.
“Yeah, sweet,” Jamie echoed.
“Have you named it yet?” Jake asked.
I laughed, “What is it with everyone wanting to name my car?”
“She has to have a name,” he insisted.
“God, that's so sexist,”
Bethany
complained. “Who says it has to be a girl. Killian's gay so wouldn't it make more sense to be a male? No offense, Killian.”
“None taken, especially since the queer factor is pretty high here right now.”
Bethany
was now roughly the size of an air craft carrier. I couldn't imagine that she could get any bigger with out exploding.
“I think you should name it the Millennium Falcon,” Jamie piped up, “Or no, how `bout Silver?”
“Silver?
But the car is black, Jamie,” Jake pointed out.
“So? I like Silver, you know, like hi-ho silver and away.”
“If you're going to name it after a horse what about Trigger?”
Jake argued.
“I like Silver.”
“What about Onyx?” Marcus offered, “It's black and that's a cool sounding name.”
“How about
?”
Bethany
jumped in.
“I like Adonis,” Jake said.
“You would,” Marcus sniped and everyone began to talk at once.
“Whoa!” I yelled and everyone stopped and turned to look at me. “Thanks for the suggestions, but it is my car so if I decide to name it I'll pick the name.”
“Good point,”
Bethany
said as she rubbed her large stomach, “I wouldn't want somebody to name my baby.”
“You won't even name the father,” Marcus said with a snort. If looks could kill she would have dropped him dead on the spot.
“Anyway,” I said quickly, “I came to talk to Asher so if you all don't mind…”
They took the hint and they all started towards the house, Marcus dragging Jamie along without too much of a fuss. Jake gave me a meaningful look as he passed. Finally it was just Asher and me. He hadn't said a word since I'd arrived.
“Hi,” I said awkwardly.
“Hi,” he responded softly.
“I need to ask you a favor.”
His eyes flickered and for a brief second I thought I saw disappointment in them, but then it was gone, his carefully disinterested expression firmly in place. I kicked myself mentally for not thinking ahead. I stood there with my mind racing as I tried to figure out what to say. Should I go ahead and ask the favor or try to repair whatever damage I had carelessly inflicted. Asher decided for me.
“Are you going to ask me this favor or just stand here all night while I get ate up?”
I swatted at a mosquito with a sigh and plunged ahead, “It has to do with the case and Caleb. I need you to find something out for me.”
His silver-gray eyes narrowed suspiciously, “What and how?”
“I need to, uh, know who Caleb was meeting in the barn.”
“Meeting in the barn? What do you mean?”
“Um, for, uh, sex.”
Asher's face flushed bright red. I wasn't sure if it was from embarrassment or anger.
“Why do you need to know that?”
“It might be important.”
“How could that possibly matter? I think you just wanted me to know that Caleb was having sex with someone.”
“What? No, why would I-”
“You just can't stand it that I might be interested in someone else, can you?”
“You're interested in Caleb?”
“That's none of your business. You don't want me but nobody else can have me either, is that it?”
“I never said-”
“You didn't have to. You can just drop the whole injured innocence act. And you can drop dead too while you're at it. I'm sorry I ever asked you to help.”
“Asher, I-”
“Save it, Killian. Goodbye.” He spun around and stormed into the house leaving me gawking after him and wondering what the hell had just happened. How had things gone so wrong?
I was not, I reflected as I climbed back into my unnamed car, having a good day.
* * *
As it always seems to work, for me anyway, I thought of a hundred different things I could have said, should have said. Unfortunately I was lying on my bed later that night staring up at the ceiling when these pearls of wisdom occurred to me.