All The Pieces (Pieces of Lies 3) (24 page)

I was speaking to her back when I answered, not able to see her face, but somehow I don’t think she wanted me to. “I assumed you wouldn’t feel comfortable painting naked in front of me, so I thought that this way you could still paint the way you do, but still feel, freedom.”

Norah faced me, shaking her head like she still couldn’t believe that I had set this up. “This is just wonderful Clint. Thank you.”

I looked to the ground, not trying to interpret her thanks as anything more, which was difficult because I could hear in her voice how that thank you came from a memory or a hope or something else. Because I was looking at my feet, I didn’t see Norah approach me so quickly. When I lifted my head, I had a perfect view of Norah’s dark soulful eyes.

“No really Clint. Thank you,” she said smoothly and sweetly, like she really meant each letter of each word.

I closed my eyes in appreciation of the sound of her voice. When I opened them again, I was transformed back to the memory of when our eyes really met the very first time at that party in Morewell. Brown eyes meeting blue. Our story started that way. It was not so long ago. This date was rotating the old memories with the new and it was interchanging so fast that I couldn’t tell if the way she way looking at me this second was from the past, or for a future. Our trance was quickly broken by Norah dropping the paint can she had been carrying in her hands. It rolled on the floor and stopped at my foot. I picked it up and handed it back to her. Her joyful smile returned seeing the paint, remembering what she was about to do.

“How am I supposed to do this without music?” she asked, looking around, knowing I must have thought about the other important element.

“All sorted,” I said, running quickly out of the room and emerging with a battery operated CD player. “I hope you don’t mind, but I picked the songs for you. I thought my selections would be more fitting to the painting you are making for me.”

Her grin widened. “So...You made me like a...mix tape?”

“CD. But yes that’s what I did. Is that
cool
with you?”

The hue was in her cheeks again, and she turned her face slightly to hide it. “Clint, that is a lot better than cool. I can’t wait to hear what songs you have picked.”

“There is some good stuff, I assure you, as well as a few fun surprises.”

“Oh, I bet. So, would you like me to begin now?”

“Whenever you are ready.”

Norah walked back to the paint table, and then took off her sweater and jeans and set them aside in the corner of the room. She began her process of applying the paints, placing the colors on the skin that were exposed and avoiding the leotard where she could. She was still trying to keep her creative process as close as possible to her original way of doing it. She stretched up her arms and pointed her toes. When I was confident she was ready to begin, I started the music.
One Headlight
by the 
Wallflowers
opened the playlist. She seemed thrilled, her shoulders doing a little shimmy at the selection, and then walked over and got down onto the canvas, and began to paint.

Norah. My Norah. There she was. Using her body to express her deepest emotions and creating a piece of art that was coming from her heart. It was a piece of her heart she was going to give to me. It was going to be something to remember her by. Something that won’t let me forget. Not that I could ever could forget the love of my life. I didn’t realize how much time passed as I sat and stared at Norah, lost in her movements as the music played on and on. I was mesmerized by her passion. I was transfixed on her soul that she was allowing me to see. She had put it on display just like she did she first time she let me watch her. It meant so much to see her do this. I couldn’t help but smile at her longingly. “You look incredible Norah.” I spoke, not even sure she could hear me over the music. “I will never forget this moment. I will never forget you.” Her dead and lifeless body that I had to see in Prague was now alive again, full of energy and she had a shining light in her eyes. And it was for me. It was all for me and this painting she was creating that I would cherish for a lifetime. Songs by  
Jet
,
The Vines
and even
POD’s
Alive
filled the space and time as Norah continued to create on the canvas, losing herself in the sound and the words.

A song I had been waiting for came through the player, and I stilled, waiting to see her reaction. Norah stopped moving and began to giggle, shaking her head back and forth. She then leapt off the canvas and ran towards me. I had to blink twice because I was having the weird sensation of déjà vu.

“Oh no you didn’t,” she grinned, still shaking her head at me as she got closer.

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s happening.” I laughed. “You know you love it.”

Britney Spears’
Baby One More Time
was in the room and it was all around us. I thought for sure she was running towards the player to stop the song from hurting her ears, but I was wrong. She stopped in front of me, rolled her shoulders in a dance move I had never seen her perform, and then started mouthing the lyrics. The most I had hoped for was a laugh about the song, but this was better. Far better. This was completely unexpected and I embraced it by hopping onto the fun train with her. Now I didn’t have Timberlake dance style, but I busted out a few boy band moves whilst mouthing the lyrics along with her. Her smile just grew wider, her eyes more excited. The song ended and she threw her paint-covered body and arms around my waist, hugging tightly, her face brushing up against mine. “Thank you Clint. Thank you so much. I really needed this.” She pulled away and laughed some more.  
God she had a beautiful laugh.

I watched her eyes dart to all corners of my face. “What?” I questioned.

“I got paint all over your clothes and your face. It looks...” And she tried to smother her laugh with one of her hands while the other pointed to my face.

My mouth cringed, my hands wiping at my cheeks and my forehead. “Is it really bad? Do I look stupid?”

“No, it’s not bad. It’s an improvement,” she giggled, backing away slowly like I was about to pin her down for making fun of me.

“Oh, they’re fighting words.”

Like a childish boy, I ran towards the paint table and grabbed a small can of the non-toxic paint and pointed it at Norah as she backed up towards a wall.

“You wouldn’t,” she dared me.

I gave her a look like she should have known better. “Yes. I would.”

At the same time I threw the small can of paint at Norah, she launched herself towards me, trying to twist her body to shield herself from the worst of the splatter. The paint ended up exploding in between us as our bodies collided. All she did was laugh, with every inch of her limbs. It was magic. It made me feel electric. I laughed too, unable to stop, unable to let go of this perfectly happy moment. Norah threw her arms around me again, and I melted into her, never wanting to leave their embrace. “Thanks again Clint. Tonight was amazing. I had such a fun time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love y...”

She froze and immediately stepped away. My body froze too. Heart stopping. My mind finishing the three-word phrase I remembered she used to say to me with such conviction and resolve. Did I just hear correctly? Was she just about to say, “
I love you
?”

She turned her back to me and started walking quickly to the other side of the room, where her completed canvas sat on the ground. My feet began to run towards her, pounding on the hardwood floor. I couldn’t reach her fast enough. She halted her steps, turning to face me, knowing that I was right behind her.

“It was just a slip of the tongue Clint. That’s all. It didn’t mean anything.” She looked at me as seriously as she could manage. Her tone curt.

“Yes it did. It meant everything.”

“No, it didn’t,” she refuted, walking backwards, making sure there was space between us.

“Yes, it did.”

Norah continued to walk backwards, until her back was up against the wall and I was only inches in front of her face.

“Can you please back away?” she stammered.

“You had no problem being near me before.”

“Yeah...well I have a problem now.” She held up both her hands, pushing them against my chest, trying to get me to step back. “You need to take me back to the house this instant,” she demanded.

I inched even closer, pushing up against her hands. She was strong but not strong enough to stop me from closing the space between us.

“What are you doing Clint?”

“I’m fighting for you. Like Sam did. Like Josh. Except I don’t need to use the Lappell, or hit men, or games. I only need your heart to remember. I need your eyes to open. I need you to feel what I know you still feel. We knew it from the first moment we met Norah. Stop denying it.”

Slip of the tongue? No, I think not. She can’t run away that easily. She can’t pretend it meant nothing. There was no hiding. I see her. I can see right into that breathtaking soul of hers.

“I see you,” I said out loud, slamming both my hands next to the wall near her face. Her back froze, like my words had pinned her in one spot. She lifted her face. Her vulnerable expression made her looked like a scared animal. “I see you Norah. I have always been able to see inside you. I feel you when you aren’t around. You act like we don’t have this deep, once in a lifetime connection, but you are fooling yourself.”

She stared coldly at me, still resisting me, and my words, and everything I was pushing her to do. My eyes remained locked on hers. There was nothing holding me back except the possibility that I would regret anything I did not do right now. “You hear me.” I used one hand to grab her around the waist. “I. See. You.” I pulled her close, “And I will never let you go.”

“Clint,” she began, not trying to pull away, but trying to get me to back down with the softness in her tone. If this were six months ago I would have backed down. I would have stepped back until she was ready to come to me. But not this time. Not now.

“Give into the moment Norah. Even if you can’t give me forever, give into
this
moment. This moment is ours. If you can’t give me forever, then at least allow yourself to feel what you know you do for tonight.” Eyes locking once more with my one true love. “Please, Norah...For me.”  Asking for so little would mean so much.

Norah held my eyes, staying silent, hoping I would give up and walk away, frustrated at her lack of response. Disappointed I looked down, and after a minute I let her go, turning and walking to the other side of the room.  I had to. I had just laid everything on the line and had been rejected. I knew she still loved me. I knew she wanted to give in to the moment, but when it came time to grab on, she stalled. I had lost. I now knew I had to try and say good-bye.

The next thing I heard was the scraping of her feet, the movement squeaking against the wood. I flicked my head around to see her running towards me and into my arms. Her legs wrapping around my waist. My arms went up underneath her shoulders and into her hair, her head resting on mine, her breathing harsh as she tried to speak. “You deserve better than this Clint,” she said against my temple. “You deserve better than me.” Her lips dragged across the edge of my hairline. “You deserve so much more than I can give you.” Her lips were near my ears now. “You deserve...”

I spun and dipped her, sliding her body around to where I could see her face. “I deserve a chance to be with you Norah. Give that to me. Give in to me.” I pressed my lips up to hers, to see if she would allow me to kiss her. Her mouth opened slightly, and then...

Then she became free.

We started kissing so hard and so fast that I lost every ounce of air in my lungs. My head started to spin, lost in a haze like I was in a love drug-induced state. She had her eyes closed so tight, it looked like I was hurting her with my mouth, but she kept going, not able to stop, not holding back, not thinking about anything else except this connection. Our grip on our bodies tightened even more. She grabbed at my T-shirt. Her nails digging in to my chest, the fabric starting to rip. I moaned into her mouth, unable to hide my need to want to be inside her, to feel her around me. Her hands moved to underneath my shirt, pushing it higher until it was over my head and flung across the floor. I moved my hand down her neck, pulling down the straps of her leotard, exposing her shoulders. I felt her body tense with the knowledge of how far we were taking this and how quickly it had reached the point where we wanted to become one.

“Don’t stop,” I pleaded through kisses, feeling her body want to pull away. “We will make a life together Norah. Marriage, children, everything...Just please, don’t stop.”

Suddenly, she stopped, like I said something taboo. She climbed off me, and backed away a lot quicker than before, pulling up her leotard straps. She didn’t hesitate. She ran across the room to find her jeans and pulled them on as I stood, still in a semi-shocked state, trying to understand how it went from hot to cold so fast.

“What did I say Norah? Why are you pulling away from me when we just experienced something so fucking real? I know you feel it. You can’t keep running from me like this. The moment you gave in to your true feelings, I knew it was me. I knew we could make a life together. I know you don’t want to hurt Josh. I know you are feeling guilty. I know you probably feel obligated to stay with him after what you have been through, but it’s not enough Norah. It’s not enough for you to choose him forever.”

“Clint you don’t know...everything.”

“Then tell me Norah. Tell me what is holding you back?”

Norah backed up some more, scared to go near me. Fear evident all over her face. She grabbed her bag and flung it over her shoulder. “I’m not trying to run away from you Clint. I’m trying to save you. Give you something better...”

“Why don’t you let me decide what’s best for me Norah? Because in my heart, there is nothing you could say or do that would make me ever change my mind.”

“But there is Clint. There is so much you don’t know.”