All is Lost (All Series, Book 2) (41 page)

Folding my arms across my chest tightly, I dig
my nails into my biceps to keep from following through with my last
thought.

“
My role in this family is exactly
as it should be. I’m still your son. But I won’t go back to the way
it was before. Too much has happened and I’ve learned that some
things are more important than business.” I force my voice to
remain monotone, keeping my expression relaxed, when clearly my
defensive stance screams anything except calm and
collected.

“
You’re pathetic. At least your
brother and Sam had the backbone to face me instead of running away
like a pussy.”

“
Marcus has been on to you for
years. I should have listened to him.”

“
Huh, so that’s it then, he finally
told you.” My father glares at me with bitter hatred in his dark
eyes like nothing I have ever seen from him before. “I knew that I
could never trust him to keep his mouth shut. Family loyalty never
meant a damn thing to Marcus. All he cared about was moving back to
Willow, our family name and reputation be damned.”

His tone previously filled with smugness fades
into disgust after pausing long enough to judge my reaction to his
words. Needing to know what the hell he is talking about, I give
him nothing. Not one damn reaction. I know he must feed the
superiority beast within and he will crack, revealing himself and
his secrets.

“
It’s just as well that you found
out. I suppose he finally told Sam too. It doesn’t matter anymore.
Whether she’s mine or not, I would never allow her to be my
successor at Walker Corporation.”

That did it
.

“
You’re out of you fucking mind.” I
laugh at his insane ramblings.

“
Do not ever say that to me,
again!” He closes the three or four feet that separate us with a
couple of long strides, bringing his face, distorted with vile
rage, within an inch of mine.

I do not back away or flinch as he tries to
intimate me. My father, although he carries the looks and height of
a Walker man, has nowhere near the body mass that I have. His lanky
frame to mine is like a fence post to a bull, no comparison. As for
his vengeful tone, I stopped fearing his idle threats when I was a
teenager.

“
I want nothing to do with your
idiotic shortcomings. How could you even say those things about
your own daughter? She has looked up to and defended you her entire
life and then just one day out of the blue you decide she isn’t
yours.”

“
There’s nothing idiotic about your
sister not being my heir, because she isn’t. The blood tests
performed on her when she was seven years old, after she was
diagnosed with meningitis, proved that Sam is not my child. It was
the most embarrassing day of my life, until you pulled your little
runaway stunt, leaving me and Beck looking like fools in front of
Ned and the Canadian administrators.”

My stomach churns with the realization that he
truly is a heartless bastard and that he is not lying about my
sister’s paternity. Condescending bastard that he is, Barret is
almost gloating at this fact, like he’s proud that she isn’t his
child.

“
You’re the pathetic one.” I bark,
mimicking his rage. “You strut around like you’re so fucking
entitled, and you want us to be just like you. It never made any
sense to me when you discarded her like a piece of waste. Instead
of her following in your footsteps, she wanted a life that would be
considered honorable so she joined the police department. I thought
you hated her for that, but you stopped loving her a long time ago,
when she was just a child.” I glare down at his smirking face. “And
then what? You shipped our family as far away from the scandal as
you could just to protect the Walker name? Does Granddad know about
this?”

“
I don’t give one shit what my
father does or doesn’t know.” He growls menacingly. “Beck and
I
run this company and we’re forcing him into early
retirement. None of what you’ve said matters. And nothing you do
concerns me any longer. With Tristan recovering nicely, Beck will
ensure that he will come on board and assume the role that none of
you are worthy enough to handle.” His face boils red with anger as
he continues. “I’m done with you, Marcus and Sam. I was
disappointed in Marcus when he chose to follow Sam into law
enforcement over working in the family business, but you…you’re a
disgrace. You crawled away from responsibility like a petulant
child unable to do for yourself. Your lifestyle is filled with
booze, kink and partying, and that makes you
weak
,” he
snarls, fists clenching against his thighs. “You are nothing and
you will
always
be nothing. If I hadn’t made that whore you
call “Mother” take you to the doctor to prove that you are mine, I
wouldn’t believe it. You are dead to me. You’re all dead to me. Now
get the fuck out of my house!”

His razor sharp words ricochet around in my
head and then zip through my veins straight to my heart, cutting
out the minuscule piece of love that I had for my father. Proving
his point of not giving a damn about us and being done, he
literally turns his back on me leaving me there in the wake of his
verbal assault.

Everything he spat at me hits me with a
powerful blow. It’s not the threats, but his total and malicious
disregard to my entire family.
That monster is not my father.
His greed rules him and all of my life I wanted to be just like
him. Mygod, I am like him. No one has ever mattered to me more than
Walker Corporation.

Standing here in utter shock and feeling
shattered, with the weight of the compilation of my father, my
future and losing Waverly falling down on top of me, the pressure
forces me to literally drop to my knees. My head bows forward and
my shoulders slouch. The stuttered pounding of my hard pulse echoes
violently in my head and I slap both hands over it to stop it, but
nothing will stop this. Rocking back and forth on my knees I press
hard on the sides of my head and begin rubbing roughly.
I
deserve this
. The burning behind my pinched shut eyes threatens
to turn into tears, making me feel like a fucking loser.

You are a loser
.

Squeezing my eyes tighter, I fight the
emotions flooding me and clench my hands into my hair, begging the
onslaught to stay away, but I can no longer fight it. One fat tear
splats hard on my thigh. I open my eyes into tiny slits and glance
down at the spot.

You are weak
. The words of my father
reverberate in the hollowness of my soul.

A biting coldness encroaches and I can’t stop
it; it moves first onto my skin and then deeper, seeping into my
muscles and finally reaching the depth of my heart. A faint buzzing
near my ear vibrates and after a full solid minute of hearing it I
can’t take anymore. I bark out for it to stop and it does, but then
I feel tiny, warm arms wrapping around me. Weakly lifting my eyes,
I shiver when I realize that it was Breesan’s voice that I heard
shushing me and it’s her arms that are holding me now. With a
trembling hand she reaches up and wipes away the tears that I
didn’t even know I had cried off of my face.

“
We need to leave,” she whispers
with the gentlest voice anyone has ever used on me. I nod
weakly.

Struggling to help me onto my feet, Breesan
shoulders my weight, walking us into the garage and bringing me
around to the passenger side of my car. She gently guides me in and
shuts the door. She slips in the driver’s seat and jerks the car
into reverse before peeling up the pavement on the lengthy
driveway. She is as eager to get the hell away from this place as I
am. She drives around the island for an hour before speaking
again.

“
I’m starving, but I don’t think
you should go back to Rhys’ yet. Do you want to get some
food?”

With my head pressing against the head rest
and eyes closed, I nod and glance over at her. “I could eat. But I
can’t face people right now. Let’s just pick up something from a
drive-thru. I just can’t deal with anymore bullshit.”

“
If you want to be alone, you can
drop me at the compound and…” Feeling anxiety about being alone
combined with my new wave of guilt for making her feel bad, I cut
off her sentence.

“
No! I need you.”

Forty-five minutes later we are at a park
about two miles from Rhys’ compound. Breesan grabs the fast food
bags, and I search my car trunk for anything to sit on. Locating an
old LSU throw stored since last football season, I tuck it under my
arm and follow her to a remote spot along the tree line and unfold
it on the ground. We dine on our greasy fried food quietly, and I’m
totally grateful that she doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence
with mundane bullshit or prod for answers that I just don’t want to
give.

She already has a shitty opinion of me. I
don’t need to add to it by telling her how I’ve devoted my entire
life to learning every damn facet of a business that I no longer
want any part of now. After hearing the venomous words spout from
my father’s mouth about my sister and grandfather, how can I tell
her that I was on the verge of becoming exactly like him? How do I
explain to Breesan that I threw away a woman who didn’t fit into my
family’s monopolizing designs, centering on greed? Waverly cared me
for me, not because of all of that other bullshit and certainly not
for my money. She never cared about what I could give her, other
than myself. I thought that was asking too much. It was the one
thing that I was too stupid to take a chance on.
I want the
chance back.

Spotting an old tire swing hanging from a tree
close by, I ease up on my feet and make my way over to it. The old
rope holding it is frayed, but it looks strong enough to hold my
weight. Jumping up and catching it high, I hoist myself over the
top of the tire and cross my legs in front causing it to swing
around erratically at first. After a couple of seconds I get it
sorted and it settles to a slow fluid motion. Finally, with the
combined serenity of the location and my companion, my mind begins
accepting the information and I’m no longer on overload.

“
Want a big push?” A squeaky,
humorous voice draws me from my almost suffocating solitude. I
glance over my shoulder and see a smiling Breesan and nod my head
yes to her question.

“
You know the night we met was the
first time that I have ever been turned down by a woman,” I confess
to her after a couple of really hard shoves from behind. “And you
did it more than once. Rejection was foreign to me before you
Breesan Maxwell.” Catching her rolling her eyes before she pushes
the tire once more, I smile at her ability to not give a damn about
my need for high self-esteem.

“
You did seem like something may
have been bothering you, but I’m not naive enough to believe that
I’m to blame. So don’t try to dump it on me.” She defends, and I do
not miss the self-protective shadow move along her gray eyes
signifying this line of conversation is unacceptable. She would not
hesitate to leave my ass swinging.

“
Ok, ok,” I surrender.

“
It has been so long since I was
here. I remember my dad pushing me on this very swing. I was five
at the time,” Breesan says, leaning with her back against the large
oak tree. I smile at her feeling comfortable enough with me to
share her memory. An adorable laugh effectively pulls me from my
haze. “When was the last time you were on a swing, Morgan
Walker?”

“
I can’t remember the last time I
was on a playground,” I reply after searching my childhood
memories. Stretching back and tilting my face up to the sky, it
forces my feet upward and I smile as they reach higher with my
momentum.

“
I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself
up there.”

“
Do you want to climb on? I think
this old rope is strong enough to hold both our weight.”

“
No thanks. If I were to guess this
moment of childlike fun and freedom is a rare moment for you. It’s
nice to see a side that I didn’t know existed in someone so, so–I
don’t know what. When we first met, you were a real ass. I could
never imagine you enjoying yourself. I guess I judged you to be too
governed for fun.”

She doesn’t know how close she is to the
truth. “We didn’t really play growing up in England.”

“
Are you saying your parents didn’t
take you to the park?” She asks, her eyes are wide with shock, but
quickly adds, “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I asked you such a
personal question after what just happened.”

This is completely out of character for me,
but maybe I should share more since we’re friends and she is
finally comfortable with me. “Barret and Haleigh Walker don’t play
in the park, they work. Well dad worked while mom juggled
schedules. We spent more time with our governesses than with our
parents. And every second of our time was focused on education. All
free time was scheduled and consisted of some sort of training. My
parents pride themselves on our diversity. And higher education is
of the utmost importance to them.”

Reaching my arms up, I grip the rope tight
with my hands, unhook my legs from it and drop to my feet. The
swing jerks around out of control and with one hand I steady it
while holding the other out in Breesan’s direction.

“
Come on.”