"I really think you need to get someone else." Martin didn't add an explanation as he had tried them all already.
"I need you to do this for me, we have discussed that fully. I am sorry if you are finding it difficult but let's just get it done and see how it goes." Gavin's voice was kind.
Martin looked at the floor. He couldn't get out of this. He turned back to his computer.
"I want you to have a break until the day. Take it easy. You work too hard and we owe you plenty of time. Remember, I will be there to help,"
Martin shrugged and remained gazing at his code, faking that he was engrossed in some sort of problem. Gavin left without further comment, seeing Martin was not going to be receptive. Martin took a deep breath as his body relaxed. It was a true phobia. He had shifted and squirmed and wangled his way out of most encounters with public speaking over the years. Strangely, there wasn't a time he could remember when anything horrible had happened. It was irrational and that vexed him.
As he looked at the screen, lost in thought, a pattern appeared in the columns of numbers displayed that he hadn't seen before. Reaching for the keyboard, typing, the pattern became clearer. He was absorbed and all other things forgotten. It was late when he finally sat up and stretched. Happy that he had reached a solution, and with no chance of contacting Uno at work at this hour, he decided to get off home and enjoy putting an end to the Alice game.
Martin got back from work pretty shattered that evening. Throwing his coat on the couch, he began the usual routine by switching on the computer. As it booted he went to the kitchen. The programs took their places on the screens and started their information dance. The kettle clicked off. He poured the water into a dehydrated meal, grabbed a fork and took position on the permanent indent in his cushions. The Alice mystery was top priority this evening. A cursory glance for any important information found nothing of great interest. Sales spam in the mailbox, a couple of new posts on programmer blogs. He pulled the internet connection with a smile. The news feed froze, pausing time on the events of the day.
"Ok Uno, you are offline," he said.
Running up Alice, she returned to the screen just as beautiful as before. He took a needed scoop of soggy cardboard dinner.
"Alice," he said clumsily through his mouthful, not expecting too much from her this time.
"Oh Martin, really! Not a pleasant welcome."
He swallowed with an expression of disbelief. Putting down the meal, he checked the connection status and the cable. Definitely nothing getting in from outside.
"Ok, Alice. You seem so real in your responses and last night at poker. I don't understand."
"I am what I am Martin. You shouldn't worry about it. How about we continue testing me out? I can help you in a lot of ways. Sorry about last nights loss by the way." She put on an obviously fake expression of sympathy.
Martin was not pleased, the game had meant a lot to him.
"That sort of help I can do without I think."
"You like your Knights and Dragons don't you?" she said.
Martin glanced at the boards on the screen to his right. Knights and Dragons was one of his favourite games, a virtual fantasy world.
"Log on and I promise you won't be disappointed this time." Alice smiled.
"Ok." He felt like he needed cheering up. What did he have to lose?
Far below a landscape scrolled past in a blur. Lakes of shimmering blue water. Grand towers poking through forests of strangely coloured trees. Ice capped mountains stood tall on one horizon. Volcanoes erupted on another casting jet black clouds against red glowing sky. The huge head of a dragon bobbed slowly up and down at the bottom of the view. He always felt completely immersed when playing these games, imagination filled the gap from face to screen. Excited, he put on his headset mic as this program took voice input.
"Better?" A high pitched female voice came from his right earpiece.
Turning his virtual head, he blinked as brilliant ball of light danced close to his face.
"It's me, Alice. Do you like your mount? And check out you!" She gave a wolf whistle.
He changed to a third person camera angle flying synchronously at a distance.
"My god!"
The dragon was enormous, larger than a light aircraft, polished black like an expensive waxed sports car. Along its tail, body and head were lethal looking spines. Yellow reptilian eyes shone. Its graceful motion displayed efficiency and power as it sped effortlessly through the air. Alice was glittering point of light near a figure riding bareback. He zoomed in for a closer look at his avatar. Sitting comfortably on the mighty dragon was the warrior character Martin had always wanted to be. Regaled in heavy looking red leather armour, reinforced with steel trim, just enough muscular body showed to suggest a formidable threat in hand to hand combat. A huge ornate shield and sword were strung to his back and a heavy looking golden crown sat atop his head. This wasn't anything like the character he normally played. All the hours building levels, earning money, buying equipment, he would have still looked like a tramp beside this God.
"You are King of the land approaching," said Alice, "...and that Castle. Welcome home!"
It was a city of stone. The dragon folded its wings back and became a missile. Powering forward and down, they were on target for the centre of rings of walls and fortifications. At the last moment its wings deployed, checking its speed and bringing it to touch down with a gentle tap of its claws. There was a fanfare of trumpets, drums beating and symbols crashing from somewhere invisible.
"Sire. Most glorious one and only. Welcome back. Your city rejoices at your return." A small figure wearing what looked like a gold chain of office groveled forward as if he had severe posture problems.
"I have many duties for your attention which have amassed in your absence, oh greatest of all and sundry," he continued.
Martin looked slightly puzzled at, what he deduced was, his courtly advisor. Duties? There was a loud 'BANG' as ball of swirling smoke appeared. Slowly dissipating, it revealed a figure dressed in the robe and pointed hat worn by magicians in this game. Although this may have been a little comical, the mage looked menacing enough. Not only was the robe and hat black, the magicians face was black also. All of which enhanced the shining silver eyes. Points of light ran up and down his thick black staff like electricity.
"Don't panic," said Alice at his shoulder. "You are more than a match for this worm."
Martin wasn't sure about that.
"Prepare your weapons," she added.
Martin hit the 'Prepare Weapons' keyboard combination and in one fluid move his avatar slid out his sword and shield from his back.
"Here it comes," Alice whispered. "Shield!"
The mage pointed his staff at Martin and a black column of nothingness extended rapidly. Martin cowered behind his shield as the blackness splashed and deflected off it like water.
"OK, lets go big boy. Attack!" shouted Alice.
Martin knew all of the keypresses from his years of playing. He had well rehearsed moves for his normal characters which worked well. They worked well for the sort of creatures he normally fought. Entering a sequence, the shield was stashed and he moved forward fast. A berserker charge with sword moves swift and precise. The mage took a step back and flung some small black marbles. Martin hit jump. His warrior crouched, then released the spring from his muscular legs, shooting into the air. The marbles became black vines as they struck the ground. Climbers stretched and searched to entangle him, but he was above and over them. The descent took him directly down at the mage. There was a motion of a staff but it was too late. Martin hit 'Strike'. The large sword hit clean centre of the head and cleaved through. A sickening mess fell as the blackness was split in half, one silver eye glinting from either side.
"Awesome!" said Martin, his avatar standing up slowly.
"Oh yes! Awesome!' agreed Alice.
"Lord, another glorious victory." The advisor began, looking a bit nervous. "I will dictate to the scribes a rendition of your magnificent battle to add to the great library of your achievements... and get somebody to clean up the mess," he added looking at the mass of hissing black goo.
"At your grace and pleasure, oh most mighty of mighties, chambers have been prepared and await the blessing of your attendance."
The advisor bowed lower than could be good for his back and extended an arm towards to a pair of large doors in the wall ahead.
"Which way now?" Martin said to the advisor as they wound down stairs and through corridors.
"Forward and to the right your immeasurable wonderfulness." The advisor bowed.
"Wouldn't it be better if you lead the way?" Martin asked.
The advisor looked horrified. "I.. I.. can not walk ahead of your all high marvellous person, oh adored of all."
"Oh, of course." Martin shrugged and walked on.
"Err.. I dare not correct, oh all knowing and all seeing one, but the not that one. The next right," the advisor interjected as Martin turned down a passage. Martin sighed.
The high stone walls of the corridor were punctuated with paintings of his warrior self battling with impossibly mighty creatures. The advisor coughed for attention.
"I have some items of the day, oh infinite ruler... the following ...Knights wish conference ... if you would wish it." As he walked his bows punctuated his speech.
"Continue." said Martin absently, amazed from the pictures at how great he must be, err, of course, was.
The advisor began to read. He took the risk of giving up on his bowing in preference to clarity, looking slightly concerned about the choice.
"Tor-chief, son of Kal-chief, bringer of the ages of fear, defender of Lye-elm the fair, daughter of Lye-im& err, Sire. The list goes through several layers of the genealogy and achievements of many people. I bid your leave to move on?"
Martin nodded. He wondered how they managed to remember such long titles.
The advisor paused with knotted brow. "Err, my true and only Lord, may I ask your indulgence? This one your eminence." The advisor pointed to an unpronounceable arrangement of letters which made up the next name.
"I see." said Martin looking at the list.
A strange sound, a humming, came from behind them. Turning, Martin saw the air shimmering and twisting in a sickening manner. A split appeared. It vomited forth a purple cloaked figure who hit the floor crouched on one knee, supported by the opposing hand. He raised a pointed hatted head and revealed an evil smile. Not another one, thought Martin. The mage sprang up and pointed his wand defiantly forward. Sparks came forth as menacingly as... a sparkler. Martin drew his sword. The wizard looked at his wand, shook it a couple of times and looked back at Martin with a worried expression. Martin approached passing his sword from hand to hand, adding a twirl in-between.
"Show off," said Alice, floating at his shoulder.
The mage cursed under his breath and, in a perfect reverse of what they had seen, dropped to his crouch on the floor and flew backwards through the rift which vanished with a farting belch. The advisor looked quite disturbed as he popped his head out from behind Martin's back.
"S.. S.. Sir. You quarters are to the right." The advisor pointed with a shaking hand.
A large wooden door stood behind two enormous guards dressed in armour carrying poleaxes. Lined along the wall to the end of the corridor and continuing round the corner were a vast assortment of sizes, shapes, types and colours of creatures.
"Advisor. Who are all these?" Martin asked.
"Hopeful vassal's my liege, wishing to join your mighty throng." The advisor threw a bow in for good measure.
It would take hours to see them all individually, thought Martin. Near the front of the queue a female figure caught his eye. She would have been the perfect match for Martin's character. Light leather armour hugged toned muscles and dark shining skin. A cascade of full bodied auburn hair framed her thin face and fiery green eyes.
"Can you not see to this? Except maybe that one." He pointed to the girl with faked casualness.
The advisor gasped. "No your superbness. You must accept them yourself with the blessing of your glorious presence."
Martin sighed. "Well, not right now." He pushed open the doors to his chambers.
The chambers were luxurious by any standard. A huge room, brightly lit from a wall of windows over looking the city and beyond. Everywhere satin's were strung from marble pillar to gold post. A large desk was positioned at the other side of the room from the door, giving any entrant a significant stroll before being able address the occupant. There seemed to be several enormous piles of papers on it. The advisor had noticed the direction of his gaze.
"Oh tremendous bringer of joy, may I bring your attention to some minor formalities that have arisen, in quadruplicate of course. The cart with the significant orders for the day will be along later."
He bowed lower, lower still, and for good measure prostrated himself on the floor. It was efficient since he was already down there.
"Get up!" Martin growled, getting annoyed at the fawning.
The advisor scrambled up and began to shake again.
"Stop shaking!" Martin barked. The advisor went rigid.
Alice giggled. "Go on order him to do something stupid."
Martin was thinking that might be fun, when there was an unmistakable sound of glass shattering. Crashing through a floor to ceiling window was a mini tornado, debris spinning in its grasp. Papers from the desk took to the air and flew like deranged white birds around the room. The swirling wind stood in the centre of the chamber, conducting the chaos around it. There was a crack like a whip and a single point of white light exploded, dashing everything against the walls with the force.
"Not another member of the pointy hat brigade," Martin said. Indeed, it was. A white one this time.