Alamut (42 page)

In delectable horror he realized that he was in love for the first time, and that this love was vast and deep.

Suddenly he became aware that they weren’t alone. The presence of the other girls began to bother him. Oh, if they were alone now, as they had been earlier, he wouldn’t bother asking a hundred irrelevant questions! Now he’d take her by the hand and look into her eyes. He would tell her about himself, about his feelings, about his love. What difference would the nature of the gardens they were walking in make to him now! Whether they were the figment of a dream or reality, he didn’t care. What mattered was that his feelings for this heavenly apparition were as real as life. Hadn’t the Prophet said that life in this world was just a shackled image of the beyond? But what he was feeling now, and what had given rise to that feeling, couldn’t be the shackled image of something unknown. It was itself exalted. It was perfect in its own right.

But perhaps his body was still lying in the dark room at the top of Sayyiduna’s tower. And a fragment of his self had split away from his soul and was now enjoying all this luxury. One way or the other, Miriam’s beauty was reality and so were his feelings for her.

He took her by the hand, by her delicate, rosy, wonderfully shaped hand, and pressed it to his forehead.

“How hot your forehead is, ibn Tahir!”

“I’m burning,” he whispered.

He looked at her with glowing eyes.

“I’m all aflame.”

So much passion!
Miriam thought. Her heart was moved.
Will I catch fire too, around so much ardor?

He began to kiss her hand. Hotly, unthinkingly. He took hold of the other and began kissing them both.

She looked over his head. Her eyes seemed absorbed in thought.
This is how Mohammed loved me when he carried me off from Moses’s. Only he was more mature, wilder
. She felt stung by the thought.
Why do all the best things come too late?

The girls were crestfallen when they saw that ibn Tahir wasn’t paying any attention to them. They grew quieter, talking in whispers, and they felt more and more awkward around the enraptured couple.

At last ibn Tahir whispered to Miriam.

“I’d like for us to be alone.”

She went over to the girls and asked them to go to their rooms and entertain themselves there.

They obeyed her. Some of them were hurt.

“You want to have everything for yourself,” Rikana said softly. “What will Sayyiduna say when he hears you’ve fallen in love with another?”

Miriam just smiled playfully.

“Girls, we’ll take the wine with us! We’ll be the only ones having fun, if that’s how it has to be.”

Taviba made peace with fate. Miriam could sense her power, and so didn’t take offense. She gave each one of them a kind look, and she gently hugged Safiya.

“We’ll compose a song about how you’ve fallen in love,” Sit threatened. “When we come back we’ll sing it so he can hear.”

“Go ahead, compose it and sing it.”

She dismissed them and returned to ibn Tahir.

He was feeling awkward, and this carried over to her too. She poured wine into both their cups and toasted him.

They gazed into each other’s eyes.

“You were going to tell me something, ibn Tahir.”

“Every word is too pale to express what I feel now. I feel as though I’ve undergone an illumination. I’ve understood so many things in this short time! Do you know the story of Farhad and the princess Shirin? Since I first saw you, I’ve felt that we’ve already met somewhere before. Now I’ve finally figured it out. You’re how I’ve always imagined the princess Shirin. Except that the image in front of me now is far more perfect. Don’t smile at this, Miriam. As Allah is in heaven, now I understand poor Farhad. To look at so much beauty every day, and then be separated from it forever! Wasn’t that a punishment from hell? Farhad couldn’t help but go mad. He couldn’t help but carve the image he’d constantly had before him out of the living rock. Allah, how horrible his pain must have been! For there can’t be anything more terrible than to be aware every day of the loss of such limitless happiness that will never come again.”

Her eyes were lowered. She was half kneeling, half leaning on the pillows. Her body shone through her veils like a marble statue. The oval shape of her face, her arms and legs, her size, everything was in such wonderful proportion. He stared at her, mesmerized. He felt as reverent as before a sacrament. His soul was shaken by so much perfection. He moaned with
delectable pain. Suddenly he noticed tears dropping on his hands.

Miriam was frightened.

“What’s the matter with you, ibn Tahir?”

“You’re too beautiful. I can’t bear your beauty. I’m too weak.”

“You crazy, silly boy!”

“Yes, I’m crazy, I’m insane. This instant Sayyiduna and the martyr Ali mean as much to me as the emperor of China. I could dislodge Allah from his throne and put you in his place.”

“You really have gone mad! Those are blasphemous words. You’re in paradise!”

“I don’t care. Let me be in heaven or in hell. As long as you’re with me, my Shirin, my heavenly Shirin.”

She smiled.

“You mistake me for another. I’m not Shirin. I’m Miriam, a girl of paradise.”

“You’re Shirin. Shirin. And I’m Farhad, doomed to be separated from you and go mad with the pain.”

What fiendish wisdom to send this passionate boy precisely to her! Indeed. Ibn Sabbah was the horrible dreamer from hell.

Her decision was quick. She wrapped her arms around ibn Tahir’s neck and brought her face close to his. She looked deep into his eyes from close up. His entire body began to shake. A weakness overcame him, as though his body were too fragile a vessel for the violent passion overtaking it.

She kissed him on the lips.

He didn’t move. He didn’t embrace her. Slowly he began to lose consciousness. The summit of bliss was approaching.

During this time the girls had crowded together in one of the bedrooms. They threw some pillows down on the floor and spread out comfortably on them. They poured themselves full cups of wine and began drinking in earnest. They grew more and more boisterous. They began to sing, then they bickered, and made peace again, kissing and hugging each other.

This was the mood that Apama found them in. At first she cautiously lifted the curtain. But when she was convinced there was no danger of intruding on their guest, she walked in noisily.

“Where have you got the visitor? Where is Miriam?”

She was shaking in anger and agitation.

“They’re in the room alone.”

“Is this how you carry out Sayyiduna’s orders? This will mean your heads! The woman could be giving away secrets to that boy this very minute, and you sit here whinnying like a bunch of fillies!”

Some of them burst out in tears.

“Miriam ordered us to leave them alone.”

“Go back to them this minute! Throw yourselves at the boy and try to get out of him how many of our secrets the slut has revealed to him. One of you come report back to me. I’ll be waiting behind the white rose bush to the left of the pool.”

When they entered the central hall, they were greeted by a strange sight. Ibn Tahir lay motionless and pale like a corpse. Only a blissful smile played across his lips. Miriam was bent over him, gazing intently into his face. Slowly she turned her eyes from him and caught sight of the companions. She could tell from their timidity that something must have happened. She got up and went over to them.

“Apama?” she asked.

They nodded. She shrugged indifferently.

“Did you compose a song?”

“We did.”

Ibn Tahir had woken up. He rubbed the drowsiness from his eyes and looked around serenely.

“With your permission, we’ll sing for you.”

“A song? It would be a pleasure.”

Ibn Tahir was visibly cheered.

They lifted their harps and bells and began boldly singing.

Meanwhile Apama had sent for Hasan. Adi waited for him and ferried him down the canal to a concealed location.

“Why did you call for me?” he asked irritably.

“Don’t be angry, master. Everything is going fine, except in this garden. Either Miriam doesn’t know, or doesn’t want to know, how to overwhelm an unfledged boy.”

She relayed what she had heard and observed.

“It appears to me Miriam has chosen the right approach. Ibn Tahir is quite different from the other youths. Is that all you called me here for?”

“Chosen the right approach? You say that to me, when you know that there wasn’t a man who could resist me? So I’m a bungler, and Miriam is the artist?”

Hasan suppressed a smile.

“Why bicker? Miriam just has different views about these things.”

“She has views? Merciful heavens! And where would she have gotten them? From her old Jew, maybe? Or from that desert wild man?”

“What if she has them from me?”

“You’re trying to humiliate me. Just remember, I have a sense she’s going to betray you to the boy. She’s fallen in love with him.”

Due to the darkness she didn’t notice the flush that suffused Hasan’s face. But she did sense that she had touched a sore spot.

“They’re kissing and cooing like doves. He’s a poet, you know, and that never fails to have an effect on a woman’s heart. From now on she’s going to worry about him. She intentionally sent the girls out of the room so she could be alone with him. She’s going to warn him to be careful.”

The ground crunched under footsteps. Adi had brought Rikana. She shuddered when she saw Hasan next to Apama.

“Don’t be afraid. What are the two of them doing now?”

“It looks like ibn Tahir has fallen in love.”

“And Miriam?”

Rikana lowered her eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“I’d like to speak with her,” Hasan said.

Rikana looked at Apama, perplexed.

“What are you shilly-shallying about?” he asked.

“How am I supposed to tell her? And what if ibn Tahir goes with her?”

“She has to come. She’ll find an excuse.”

She bowed and dashed off. When she came in, Miriam quietly confronted her.

“Did you see Apama?”

“Yes. And Sayyiduna is down by the water. He’s waiting for you. Think up an excuse to tell ibn Tahir and go see him.”

Miriam went back to ibn Tahir.

“Do you really love me?”

“You doubt it?”

“Prove it. Write me a poem.”

Ibn Tahir panicked.

“How is a wretch like me supposed to compose something worthy of you? Miriam, don’t put me to shame.”

“If you love me, write a poem.”

“How could I? With you around …?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t get in your way. I’m going out to the gardens to pick you some flowers. In the meantime, you write a poem about your love.”

She turned to face the girls.

“You stay here with him and play him some music.”

As she left, she whispered to Rikana.

“Don’t let him out of the hall. You’re all responsible.”

With her coat on, she hurried into the gardens.

Near the boats she caught sight of Hasan. He took firm hold of her hand.

“Does he believe he’s in paradise?”

“He’s in love, so he believes he’s in paradise.”

“That’s not an answer. You look different to me somehow. You know there will be no mercy if the boy doesn’t prove himself.”

“I guarantee he will. Now tell Apama to stop lurking around like a ghost and interfering with my work.”

“It would be better if you’d kept cool. Be careful you don’t lose control of the reins.”

Had she heard right? Hasan felt hurt? So he did care about her, after all.

“Don’t worry, ibn Sabbah. I have the reins firmly in hand.”

“I expected no less. How did you excuse yourself when you left?”

“I gave him an assignment. I told him to write me a poem.”

He took her by the arm and led her a few paces away from the shore.

“Do you think he’s fallen very much in love?”

“Absolutely.”

“And you?”

“Does that matter to you?”

“Probably not. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Ibn Tahir is a gifted youth. But he has a long way to go before he’s a man.”

“Go back now and put him to sleep as soon as possible.”

She couldn’t help giggling slightly.

He kissed her on the forehead and rejoined Apama.

“It looks like the master is jealous.”

“Maybe. In any case, less jealous than Apama is.”

He waved to her as they parted and then ordered Adi to ferry him back to the castle.

“When I’m back in the tower, I’ll give a sign to the trumpeters. There’s been enough excitement for tonight.”

Something was weighing down on his heart. He remembered Omar Khayyam, lying amidst his pillows in Nishapur and drinking wine, a beautiful girl serving him while he writes poems and laughs at the whole world. He was free to contemplate and perceive. To enjoy perfect tranquility. At this instant he envied him.