Akiko on the Planet Smoo (9 page)

The next sound
I heard was the clanking of keys at the cell door.

“Wake up, Akiko,” Mr. Beeba said, giving me a gentle shake. “They're going to let us out of here.”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Two big guards had opened the door and were waiting to take us out of the cell. Spuckler helped me up and we all shuffled out of the dirty little room.

The guards put us back into the caged wagon and pulled us through a number of corridors, each slightly better lit than the last. We could hear the distant roar of a big crowd, like you'd hear at a football game or something. Finally they wheeled us through two gigantic doors. I squinted as we came out into the open air. It took a minute or two for my eyes to adjust to the sunlight before I could see where we were.

There were stands on all sides, filled with the same noisy, dirty people we'd been seeing ever since we arrived at the Sky Cove. There were
thousands
of them! They were busy talking to each another, ordering food, and passing coins and pieces of paper among themselves. As our wagon was wheeled out into the open, the crowd became more excited. They stood up and elbowed each other aside to get a better look at us. I didn't know what this was all about, but I was starting to get really nervous.

“Wh-What kind of place
is
this, Spuckler?” I asked.

“Well, there's an interesting old tradition here at the Sky Cove,” Spuckler replied, thoughtfully stroking his chin. “They get folks from different parts of the galaxy and toss 'em in a ring together, and then lay bets on who's gonna beat the tar outta who.”

“How quaint,” Mr. Beeba sneered.

“I don't think I could beat the tar out of
anybody
,” I said.

“Aw, sure ya could, 'Kiko,” Spuckler said confidently. “Give yourself some credit.”

By then the crowd was getting very noisy. Obviously they'd come to see a fight and were getting impatient for it to begin. There was a loud trumpet blast, followed by an announcement in that language of theirs. It echoed all around the arena, and there was an excited roar from the crowd.

A big fat guy with a completely bald head came lumbering across the arena to our cage and unlocked a small door on one side. He reached in, grabbed hold of Gax, and pulled him out. I wanted to stop him, but I was too scared to say anything. Even though I was worried that something might happen to Gax, I was secretly relieved that I wasn't the one who'd gotten grabbed. I'd never been in a fight in my whole life, and I didn't feel like trying to learn right then. I glanced over at Mr. Beeba, who looked very agitated as he followed Gax with his eyes. Even Poog looked a tiny bit nervous.

Spuckler didn't have any doubts about Gax, though.

“Don't worry, Gax! They can't hurt you!” he yelled. “I forgot to recharge your pain circuits!”

“
THAT'S VERY REASSURING, SIR,
” Gax replied halfheartedly.

The man put Gax in the very center of the arena and left him there. Gax wasn't a particularly big robot, and in the middle of the stadium he looked even smaller. There was laughter and jeering from the crowd, and a lot of noise as people went to place their bets. I might have been just imagining it, but I'd swear I saw Gax trembling a little out there. I know it doesn't make any sense for a robot to tremble, but that's what I think I saw.

There was a second trumpet blast, longer and louder than the first, followed by a much shorter announcement. The whole arena got really, really quiet, and all the spectators turned their attention to a huge pair of doors on one side of the arena. The doors were forty or fifty feet high, built entirely out of steel and covered with dents and scratches from many years of use.

“What's behind those doors, Spuckler?” I asked, not sure I really wanted to know.

“I ain't exactly sure,” Spuckler said, sounding a little nervous himself, “but judgin' from the looks of this crowd it ain't gonna be real cute an' cuddly.”

By then the arena was almost completely silent, and all we could hear was this horrible creaking as the doors slowly parted. It took about a minute for the doors to open all the way. Finally there was nothing to do but wait and see what would come out.

GA-GUNCH . . . GA-GUNCH . . .

Whatever was approaching sounded like some sort of big, heavy machine in a factory. As the noise got louder we could actually feel the ground shake. Finally we saw the thing come out into the daylight. As Gax's opponent entered the ring, the crowd erupted into cheers.

And what were they cheering for? It was the biggest, ugliest robot you can imagine. It was about thirty feet tall and moved around on two legs, each supported by huge clodhopper feet that made that horrible noise every time they hit the ground:
GA-GUNCH . . . GA-GUNCH
 . . . The robot had two big arms shooting up out of its body like giant crab's claws, and a tiny little head that was covered with at least a dozen electronic eyes. It was nearly ten times bigger than Gax, and a lot faster, too.

“H-Heavens!” Mr. Beeba gasped, his mouth dropping open in amazement.

“Lordy! It's a '57 Shnum-Crusher!” Spuckler said, obviously impressed. “In pretty good condition, too.”

“Oh my goodness!” I gasped. “Gax is going to get torn
apart
by that thing!”

“Hey, have a little faith, 'Kiko,” Spuckler said. “Gax is a lot tougher than he looks.”

The huge robot made a quick run around the ring and the crowds cheered him on. You could tell that this robot had won just about every fight he had ever been in. No matter what Spuckler said, I didn't see how Gax had a chance of defeating such a monstrous opponent.

“Keep movin', Gax,” Spuckler called out. “Look for his weak spot!”

“
ALL HIS SPOTS LOOK QUITE STRONG TO ME, SIR,
” Gax replied warily. By then the '57 Shnum-Crusher was right on top of him.

FWAK!

The huge robot smacked Gax with one of his claws and sent him flying. Every head in the stadium slowly turned to follow Gax's path through the air.

SPOOT!

Gax hit the ground and bounced up into one of the walls, leaving a little indentation where he struck the stone.

SPU-KANG!

He finally landed upside down a few yards from the wall, surrounded by little bolts and scraps of metal that had been knocked loose from within him.

“That's the way to do it! He's rolling with the punches,” Spuckler said, squinting and nodding to himself. “That's good strategy.”

The crowd was going wild. They'd have been perfectly happy to see this robot smash Gax into pieces. Fortunately Gax was still able to move, and he quickly righted himself with the help of two mechanical arms that folded out from inside his body. Then he wheeled himself over to the gigantic robot and began to speak.

“
LOOK, SURELY WE CAN WORK THIS THING OUT. . . .
”

Unfortunately the Shnum-Crusher didn't seem to hear a word. He backed up a little and then came after Gax again:
GA-GUNCH . . . GA-GUNCH . . .

SMAP!

Gax went flying again, this time even further across the arena and higher up into the air. The giant robot followed Gax wherever he landed, attacking him again and again. Every time Gax hit the ground or bounced off the wall he seemed to lose another little piece of himself. He must have gotten knocked across the arena about twenty times. (I sort of lost track after a while.)

SKASH!

When Spuckler began to look worried, I knew Gax was in trouble.

“Aw, man,” he said to himself, grimacing. “I don't know how much more of this the little guy can
take
.”

As the noise
of the crowd grew to a steady roar, the big robot moved in for the kill. Gax lay motionless on the floor of the arena, his body bent out of shape and flipped upside down. Only his head was right side up, quivering at the end of his neck as he turned to face his opponent.

“
I'M BEGGING YOU,
” Gax said in a last-ditch effort to save himself, “
AS ONE MACHINE TO ANOTHER . . .
”

But the robot would hear nothing of it. He reached down and picked up Gax with both of his gigantic arms, one claw gripping his body and the other locked onto his neck.

Spuckler grabbed the bars of our cage and began pulling at them with all his might. I could tell he wanted to go out there and save Gax, but the bars just wouldn't budge.

The rest of us sat there helplessly as the Shnum-Crusher started pulling Gax's neck out as far as it would go. It stretched out two or three yards before it reached its limit, and then we could hear this terrible squeaking sound. Gax was still functioning, but he had lost his ability to speak properly.

“
XGRBLE PPRYPT FFFKGHFFT,
” was all he could manage to say as his neck stretched out yet another inch.

“I can't bear to watch,” said Spuckler, putting his hands over his eyes and turning away.

Me, I couldn't help looking. And I'm glad I did, because otherwise I'd have missed something pretty amazing. You see, just when we thought it was all over for Gax, a little screw popped off him and dropped down into an opening a few inches from the base of the much larger robot's head. It was quite a tiny little piece, just a bolt or a loose screw or something, but it must have worked its way down into the Shnum-Crusher's insides and knocked something out of whack. All of a sudden he started shaking like crazy and making this horrible squealing noise. A hush fell over the crowd. Spuckler took his hands off his eyes and looked up at the Shnum-Crusher. He was rocking wildly from side to side as if he were trying to dance.

“Get down, everybody!” Spuckler shouted. He covered his head with his hands and threw himself onto the floor of the cage. “The Crusher's gonna blow!”

Mr. Beeba and I covered our heads just in time.

BA-DOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The mighty Shnum-Crusher exploded into a million pieces of metal, all of which shot out in different directions, leaving white trails of smoke behind them like bottle rockets. A few pieces shot right through our cage, and others flew way up into the highest seats in the arena, sending spectators scrambling for safety. When the smoke finally cleared (and it was a few minutes before it did), there was nothing left of that robot but a little crater in the middle of the arena.

As for Gax, he had rolled loose from the Shnum-Crusher's claws just before the explosion. He'd gotten kind of charred and covered with soot, but otherwise he was okay.

The crowd booed and hissed. I'm pretty sure most of them hadn't bet on Gax. In fact, I think we were the only people in the whole place who were happy that Gax had won. When they put Gax back in our cage, we congratulated him on a job well done.

“That was real good, Gax,” Spuckler said as he wiped some of the dirt off Gax's helmet. “Blowin' him up was pretty much your best option at that point.”

“Were you scared, Gax?” I asked.

“
NOT REALLY,
” Gax replied calmly in his low electronic voice.

“Gax ain't scared of nothin', Akiko,” Spuckler chuckled. “His fear circuits blew out years ago.”