My body trembles as I work hard to rein myself in. I don’t like her upset like this. I hate her this close to him. I hate everything about this.
Grayson’s face pulls tight, his blue eyes bathed in distress as he battles to keep himself in check as well. “I need this.”
“No, you don’t,” she counters, her voice achingly soft. “We never meant to hurt you. Gray, we love you. Things were rough, I know they were, but we’re getting it together. We can all recover from this. Even you.” She lays her palm on his cheek, and my heart surges in rapid spurts.
“Kylie,” he whispers as his eyes close.
“Kylie!” My voice is sharp and vibrates through the room, commanding her attention. As soon as it’s out, I know it’s too rough, but I can’t take any more.
She drops her hand, turning to me. “Cooper, please. Please, please tell him he doesn’t have to leave because of us. We can’t go out like this. It can’t happen.”
“Stop,” I urge, fighting to stay calm.
“Cooper, please,” she pleads, desperation dripping from her entire body.
“Kylie,” I repeat, my voice rising slightly in frustration. “You have to listen to him. I know this is hard on you, but he needs to do what’s right for him. That may not be what you want or what we think is right, but he needs this, and you need to stop putting him in the middle.”
Her spine stiffens, and she twists to look at Gray. I release a breath, holding still.
“Just listen, okay?” he says delicately. “I need to get my head right. I have to figure some stuff out, and I need space to do it.” As she sobs, Gray’s eyes travel quickly to mine. He blinks twice, and the next thing I know, she’s wrapped securely in his arms. Possessiveness surges inside me as he strokes her hair. “You’ve done nothing wrong, sweet cheeks. You haven’t chased me away. You could never, ever do that.” He pulls back and looks into her eyes. “You don’t understand.”
“Yes, I do,” she says.
“No, you don’t,” he whispers.
My throat tightens in pain. I have a feeling I know where this conversation is headed, and I don’t like it.
“Then make me understand,” she says, wiping her cheeks.
“I love you, Kylie.”
My gut churns. He’s telling her that in
my
home… I can’t breathe…
“I love you too,” she replies.
Jesus Christ…
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m in love with you.”
“Grayson…” she breathes, her face pinching in pain.
I’m about to lose my fucking mind. The whirlwind inside me churns into a tornado.
“You don’t get it,” he says. “It’s killing me. The way I feel for you is strong, Ky.”
I let out a breath, needing to hear her response. She can’t discount his feelings now, and this conversation has one minute left before I kick this asshole out of my house.
She stills, staring at him. “You think you love me, but you don’t, Gray. You’re confusing your feelings for me with love. You’ve taken care of me at my lowest and you do love me, but you can’t love me in that way. The lines are blurred in your head. You’re confused. Don’t let this chase you away from us. You can work through those feelings. Please just take time and think about what you’re saying.”
“I’m sorry, Kylie. I can’t right now.” Gray runs a hand jaggedly through his hair. “I need to do what’s right for us. You and me, we need space. The way I feel is real, Ky. It’s not in my head. I feel it in my bones. I want you so bad I can taste you, smell you even when you’re not with me. I can’t escape it. I shouldn’t feel this way. I don’t know why you don’t want to accept it, but I can’t fight these feelings. Leaving is the only way to protect you.”
“That’s enough,” I say, my tone fierce and lethal. My hands tremble in anger at the way he said that to her. It might be true, but that ass forgets he’s in
my
home in front of
my
wife. He’s done.
He steps back from her, his face glimmering with remorse. Kylie looks shattered, and my heart aches for her. She’s in the middle. I thought we’d made good progress, but this is too much. Her blue eyes meet mine, and her face scrunches up in pain as she rushes to me. I pull her into my arms and grip her tightly, my heart raging in anger. Gray’s going to get it as soon as I can clear her from the room. I stroke her back.
“I should go,” he mumbles.
“No,” she says, turning toward him. “God, don’t leave like this. Not with all this animosity. Please.”
“There’s nothing more for us to say,” he exhales.
Her face drops as she reaches for my hand. I grip it tightly as she struggles to go on. “I’m sorry, Grayson. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I knew that you liked me, were attracted to me, and I thought that maybe your feelings were deeper than they should be, but I never thought it was something on this level. You were my best friend. You knew how things were with Cooper. I tried to make that clear. He’s my life, my everything. I thought you understood that. I’m sorry if I led you on or made you think that there could be anything more between us. I never meant to do that.”
“No, you didn’t lead me on,” he says, his eyes locked on hers. “I did that all by myself.”
Her face is filled with remorse. “Are you going to come back?”
“Eventually,” he answers, glancing at me for a second.
My face pulls in a scowl.
What the fuck was that look for?
“What if I need you?” she asks, slicing my heart open.
We’re still building trust, and this shows just how shaky our relationship is.
“Just call.”
“She won’t need you,” I say, unable to take another minute of this situation.
Kylie looks at me and shakes her head. “Get a grip. He needs us too. It’s more than you and me.”
I try to listen, but at this point, I don’t care. We need space from him.
She shifts her attention to him. “Will you come visit once the baby’s here?”
I see his face fill with anguish. His shoulders tremble as his eyes flash with a decision. He wants out.
“No.” His voice is resigned with an eerie numbness to it.
“Grayson, we’re family,” she reminds him.
I feel my sanity split. “Damn it, Kylie, look at me.” She does, and I continue, no longer okay with this. Consider this closure because that’s all she’s getting. “Stop this right now. He needs time, and clearly we all do, too. You’re acting like you have feelings for him. This is the exact reason he needs to get out of here. Please, stop.”
Her eyes search mine. My heart thumps like a maniac, hoping she gets it. She turns to Gray and nods.
“Focus on the baby,” he says. “Focus on your marriage. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll always worry about you,” she whispers. “I don’t want you gone forever, Gray. I understand you need time. I’m sorry. I hate hurting you, but you know I don’t feel that way for you. Maybe you’re right. Maybe we do need space. I… I miss you, our friendship. But I get it. Please remember that we’re always here for you. Always.”
He nods.
She turns to me, her eyes swirling with remorse. “I’m sorry, Cooper.” She leans in and gives me a quick kiss.
I grip her waist, pulling her closer, and breathe her in. I hear a sob lurch from her chest and bury my face in her hair. “I’ll take care of you, baby,” I whisper, my love fiercely displayed as I surround her.
She nods against me and pulls back. I dry her tears with the pad of my thumbs. Her eyes close as she lets out a deep breath and turns to leave. A moment later, the closing of the bedroom door echoes through the room.
“That went well,” I mock, anger pulsing off me in waves.
“I’m the middle man here,” he breathes, his face contorting in rage. His eyes take on a cold and calculated glint. He’s about to explode, and I’m about to go down with him. “That’s what I’ve been this whole goddamn time, haven’t I? The stupid middle man between you and Kylie, and look where it’s gotten me.”
“I can’t undo what’s been done,” I say, gritting my teeth. “But that”—I point toward the bedroom—“that was too much. She knows you love her. You’re crossing lines, and this time you came into my fucking home and did it!”
“Yeah, well, what the fuck am I supposed to say to her?” he yells, his fists curling tight.
“I don’t know! But spouting your undying love for her is fucked up. I’m standing right here, and you’re telling my woman you love her. No more of this bullshit. You are done with her,” I say, my tone final.
“Don’t tell me when I’m done with her,” he responds, his face turning red.
“You’re talking about my fucking wife!” I spit.
“I know she’s yours. You don’t have to keep reminding me.”
“You seem to be forgetting.”
“Fuck you! I could have reacted a whole different way to you coming back for her. I shouldn’t have come here,” he says.
“No, coming over here wasn’t the problem. I don’t know what you’ve constructed in that head of yours. Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad you had it for her until today, but it’s not happening,” I say, my entire body transforming and taking on a fiercely determined stance. “I’m drawing up some boundaries. I’m not ungrateful, Grayson. I know what I did wrong. I know you picked up my job, and I’m so fucking sorry you had too. But you’re right. You need to get your shit together and stay away from her.”
“I can’t just turn off my feelings, Cooper. I’m like not you.”
He hits low.
“Nice, really fucking nice,” I yell, surging toward him, putting my face right in his. “Let me fill you in on what’s happening. I don’t like this situation any more than you do, but I’m not letting you do this to me or my wife. Whatever you came here to do, it’s done. This conversation’s done.”
“Watch it,” he warns, his eyes boring into mine. He lets out a breath and steps back. “Coming here was a mistake.”
“No,” I say, my voice dropping to a clear level of warning. “You telling my wife that you love her while you’re under my roof was your mistake. You can’t do that anymore. Things are different. We’re working hard to fix our marriage, and I won’t allow you to unravel all the progress we’ve made.”
His eyes light as he steps toward me, his nose almost touching mine. “I’m warning you,” he whispers, viciously “screw up, and I’ll come back and take her, pregnant and all.”
I swallow hard, my body pulsing with pure rage. My face turns hot as I try to restrain myself from killing him. “Get out. Get out of my fucking house.” I stare into his disconnected eyes, seeing nothing but the remains of an incinerated friendship.
He steps back and turns to leave, his body shaking. His eyes shifts to where Kylie’s hidden and I see his head drop in defeat. My fist clench ready to do what I need to, to keep him from her. He shakes himself, lets out a ragged breath, and heads to the door. When he gets there, he turns back to look at me. I glare at him, not breaking eye contact.
I’ve past every one of my limits.
He meets my glare with an angry smirk, and then he’s gone. The door slams behind him.
I exhale a labored breath and unclench my fists. My eyes close as I try to come to terms with what just happened.
He’s gone…
Twenty-four years of friendship over…
My composure slips, the anger ebbs, and the reality of where we are becomes all too real. I walk into the kitchen, glancing at his drink, and feel my chest clench.
Fuck…
I brace my hands on the counter, taking a moment to calm down. After several minutes, I hear her gentle footsteps coming down the hallway.
“Cooper.”
I turn toward the soft voice and gaze into sad eyes. We stare at each other. I swallow down my emotions and offer her a weak smile. She trembles, her face troubled. I hold my arms open, and she runs toward me and wraps her body around mine. I hoist her legs around my waist as her arms thread around my neck.
She buries her face in the hollow of my collar bone. I hold her flush, tightly against me and rock her.
We’re still dealing with the consequences of our actions. The people you drag down with you never go away. You have to pay a penance for your sins.
We’re paying ours.
“Are you okay?”
“Been better,” I answer.
She pulls back to look at me. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
“He’s gone.”
I nod. “It’s better for right now.”
Her lips tremble, and she swallows. “Yeah, I think so.”
“He’s gonna be okay. Gray’s a fighter.”
“I hate that I hurt him,” she murmurs.
I close my eyes, letting out a guilty breath. “We both hurt him, baby.”
“I led him on. I’m sorry. I was attracted to him, Cooper, and I led him on.”
I feel as if she’s punched me. She wanted him. Shit, she might have fucked him if I hadn’t got myself together.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“It’s done,” I say, not caring about any of that anymore. I just want us. That’s it. “We
need
to put this behind us.”
“How?”
“I don’t know,” I answer. “But we need to.”