After Dark (38 page)

That image of. visiting the prison after dark and leaving before dawn with her client dead had haunted Tracy. When she was with Matthew in Atlanta, when she was sitting beside him during Abbie's trial, when she worked on the brief in the Texas case, she had been driven by her fear that someday the image would become reality if she did not give her all every moment of every day.

Silent tears rolled down Tracy's cheeks as she closed the door to the hospital room behind her. In the moments she had spent just now with Matthew Reynolds, she had finally learned how all those brave attorneys felt in the prison, at the very end, after dark.

EPILOGUE

Abbie parked in the visitors' lot of the Oregon State Penitentiary, then walked down a tree-lined lane to the front door of the prison. On either side of the street were friendly white houses that were once residences but now served as offices for the staff.

Looming over the charming houses and their neatly trimmed lawns was the squat, square bulk of the prison with its thick eggyolk-yellow walls, barbed-wire fences and gun towers.

After checking in at the visitors' desk, Abbie walked through a metal detector, down a ramp, through two sets of sliding steel bars and down a short hall, where she waited while her escort unlocked the thick metal door that opened into the visiting area.

Abbie identified herself to a guard who sat on a raised platform at one end of a large, open room crowded with prison-made couches and wooden coffee tables. The guard called Matthew's cellblock and asked for him to be sent down. While the guard spoke on the phone, Abbie looked around the room. Along the far wall, a prisoner was waiting in front of a vending machine for a paper cup to fill with coffee. The prisoners were easy to identify in their blue jeans and work shirts. They played with children they saw once a month, leaned across the coffee tables toward their parents or stood in the corners of the room pressing against a wife or girlfriend, trying to steal a few moments of intimacy that would help them forget the dreariness that pervaded their prison lives.

"He'll be down in a few minutes," the guard told Abbie. "You can use one of the attorney rooms."

On the left, outside the large visiting room, was an open area.

Along two walls were windows. Behind several of the windows were prisoners deemed too dangerous to be allowed into the visiting room.

Their visitors sat on folding chairs and spoke to them on phones.

Also in this area were two glass-walled rooms where prisoners could meet their lawyers. Jack Stamm had called the superintendent and obtained permission for Abbie to use one of these rooms. She closed the door and waited for Matthew, dreading the meeting, but knowing that she had to see him, no matter how painful the visit might be for both of them.

Abbie did not recognize Matthew at first. The starchy prison food had caused him to gain weight. His face had filled out and his hips and waist were fuller. She even detected the beginnings of a paunch. When he entered the room, Abbie stood up and searched his face for a clue to his feelings, but Matthew was keeping his emotions hidden. When he paused in the doorway, she thought he might change his mind and leave.

Instead, he offered his hand. She took it and held it for a moment.

Then they sat down.

"Thank you for coming to see me," Matthew said. "Aside from Barry and Tracy, I haven't had many visitors."

"How are you getting along?" Abbie asked, not ready yet to talk about her real reason for visiting.

Matthew smiled. "Quite well, actually. There's a real demand for my skills here. I was most frightened of physical assault when I came to the prison, but I'm under the protection of the prisoners. It seems I have many friends here. People I've helped. And there are many more who can use my assistance."

Abbie laughed. "I guess putting a criminal lawyer with a mission in prison is a little like letting a kid run loose in a candy store."

They both smiled. Then Abbie sobered.

"You know why I didn't come sooner, don't you?" she asked.

"Tracy told me what you said to her."

"I hated you at first, Matt. It was the pictures. When I learned about them . . . About the spying . . . It was such a shock."

Matthew looked down. "I wish I'd never taken them, but I couldn't help myself. I was so in love with you and there was no way I could tell you. To me, you were unobtainable. I just couldn't believe that anyone so beautiful would even look at me, let alone fall in love. I'm surprised you don't hate me still."

"Tracy told me what you did when Deems chased me in the woods and that you killed Robert to save my life. She explained why you framed me for Robert's murder. She wanted me to talk to the judge at your sentencing, but I couldn't. It's taken me a while to accept that you did everything for me so I would love YOU.

Abbie looked up at Matthew. He leaned forward expectantly.

"Jack let you plead guilty to manslaughter because of everything that came out about Robert and, mainly, because you killed him to save my life. You're eligible for parole anytime, since there isn't a mandatory minimum sentence for manslaughter. I've written to the parole board. I told them I want to be present to speak on your behalf when they meet to decide your case. I know that you never wanted to hurt me and I want you to know that I forgive you."

Matthew slumped forward as if he had been struck in the chest. "Thank you," was all he could manage.

"Are you okay?" Abbie asked.

"Oh yes," he answered.

Abbie noticed the guard announcing the end of visiting hours.

She had intentionally come toward the end so the visit would be short, in case it went badly. Abbie stood up.

Matthew took a deep breath and composed himself.

"Will you visit me again?" he asked.

"I don't think so."

"I understand. What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure. I've quit the district attorney's office. I'm thinking about traveling for a while. I still need to put some space between myself and what happened." A guard knocked on the door.

"I've got to go now. I'm not going to wish you good luck. I don't think you need it, because I know you're going to come through this."

"I'll always love you, Abbie. Everything I did was for you."

Abbie reached out and touched his shoulder. "I know that, Matthew."

She took one last look at Matthew, then she opened the door and joined the line of people leaving the visiting area. Matthew knew that he would never stop loving Abbie and that he had lost her forever. He understood that there was no way she could love him now. Even so, he did not feel sad. He had saved Abbie's life and that made everything he had gone through and was going to endure worthwhile. And even if it was only for a little while, she had loved him and that was more than he ever hoped for.

And now he had been forgiven.