Adversity (15 page)

“
I’m so sorry about your dad. I don’t know what’s happening to
us.”

The calm
on her face soothed me a little, but my hiccups and sobs didn’t
disappear.

“
He’s going to be fine.” Her voice was steady, as though she
firmly believed it herself. “He just needs a few days of
rest.”

“
Opa thinks he’s poisoned or something.”

“
How would he know? Did something happen to Nathan and Jeremy?”
She tensed up, and I drew away from her to reassure her
properly.

“
No, I haven’t heard anything yet. I feel really bad about
everything, though, and I miss you at school.”

She gazed
at me keenly. “No offence, but you look way more miserable than
just missing me at school. Is something wrong? Did Tammie say
something to you again?”

I laughed
at the protectiveness of her tone.

“
When she’s not ignoring me, she’s actually kind of
nice.
No, I’m a little stressed out. All of
this family stuff and the dreams… it’s as if there’s something
constantly weighing me down. I keep getting these migraines, but I
suppose it’s because of the stress.”

“
Wanna talk about the dreams?”

“
They aren’t important. Not really. It’s how they make me feel
when I wake up. As if I’m in the wrong place. And I’ve met a boy I
kind of like. Except I care more about the people in my dreams than
him.” I held my breath then, waiting for her reaction.

Her eyes
widened with concern. “That’s a little… out there,
Amelia.”

I
shouldn’t have said anything. I should have known better. “Never
mind! When are you coming back to school?”

She held
my hand and made me sit on the bench. “Not sure. Probably soon,
unless Dad signs me into a mental institution.”

Her lips
twisted into a crooked smile, but something told me she was deadly
serious.

“
Why would he do that?”

“
Because he thinks I’m losing it.”

That
amused me. “Best not tell him I think I’m a reincarnated gypsy,
then.”

She
leaned back a little, as though taking it in. “You don’t… you don’t
really think that, though, do you?”

I had to
get it off my chest. I couldn’t keep holding in everything, but I
wondered if she was the right person to tell.

“
I don’t know what to believe, Perdita. But there are so many
similarities between me and this dream girl. It’s freaking me
out.”

“
It’s probably just a dream,” she said at last.

“
Yeah. I bet you said the same thing before we came
along.”

She
winced. “Try not to dwell on the dreams. If they mean anything,
you’ll know when you’re meant to.”

Just like
that. Avoid and sugar-coat. She was more of an Evans than I
was.

“
Wow. Way to sort my problems.” Why would she? My problems were
at the bottom of an incredibly large pile. I still felt the bite,
though.

“
I’m sorry. I’m worried about Nathan. I hate the idea of him
working with that wolf. She bit Dad. How am I supposed to stop
seeing her as the enemy?”

I got
that. Ryan would likely come with his pack mate, whether we liked
it or not. I could never forget the way those werewolves had
attacked us, so I didn’t understand how Perdita could find a way to
trust the male just because he suddenly claimed to be on our
side.

“
How are we supposed to stop seeing either of them as the
enemy?”

She
shrugged. “I know. Trust me. But if you heard him… you’d see. You’d
get it.”

Nobody
ever expected me to understand. Right then, I didn’t even want to.
We made small talk for a couple of minutes—I even told her a little
about Ger and Connor—before I retreated to my new friends. Being
around them was peaceful because I knew they would never reveal
anything remotely life-threatening.

But I was
dying to hear from Nathan about what happened during his enemy
werewolf meeting, so I made excuses to leave them.

“
Okay. Wanna hang around with us later on?” Ger
asked.

“
I don’t know…”

“
Come on, it’ll be fun.” Julie smiled reassuringly.

“
Yeah? What are you all doing?”

Julie
shrugged, frowning in confusion. “Just, you know, hanging
around.”

I agreed
to meet up with them later on, but first I had to hear the news
from Nathan. I headed home, my head full of questions.

“
I believe him,” Nathan said as we sat on the swings out back,
our unofficial meeting place.

“
Seriously? He’s a killer. Why wouldn’t he be a liar,
too?”

“
He’s not a killer, and he’s not lying,” he insisted. “And even
if he was, I’d still be doing this because we can’t sit around
wondering what they’re going to do next. We have to face up to
this.”

He
sounded different, as if he had accepted what was about to
happen.

“
What about her? The she-wolf. Was she telling the truth,
too?”

He shook his head and gave a low whistle. “She’s crazy. Scares
the crap out of me. There’s a piece of her missing. Ryan reckons
that all of the bred wolves have
something
missing. It’s
weird.”

“
Sounds like crap to me.”

“
Amelia. Stop. I have to do
something
. Cut me some
slack.”

I
groaned. “I’m sorry, okay? It doesn’t feel right to me. If she’s
really that bad, then we shouldn’t be using her,
either.”

“
I know,” he said in a low voice. “Want to hear something
really weird? Jeremy did something to her. Something alpha. I think
he wants to take over here.”

My laugh
was harsh. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. I don’t trust him. Opa
literally forbade Byron from talking back, and Jeremy laughed in
his face. I don’t understand Jeremy.”

“
I could say the same for Opa, although, sometimes he seems to
be breaking down and getting back to normal.”

“
Well, he’d better do it soon, or there’ll be nothing left here
for him to get back to.”

He
shuddered, and we fell silent for a few minutes.

“
You saw Perdita today?” he asked, his voice
brightening.

“
Yep. Briefly.”

“
Good. You’re staying with her all day when we persuade Opa to
meet with the other wolves.”

I opened
my mouth to protest, but he wouldn’t hear it.

“
Seriously, Amelia. All of us have to go to make sure you’re
both safe, in case they really are trying to backstab us. Promise
you’ll stay safe.”

“
I promise. But I’m going out now.”

“
To do what?”

I
laughed, almost joyously. “To hang around.”

Hanging
around consisted of sitting on a wall outside Ger’s house. The boys
on one side of the street, girls on the other.

“
This is kind of ridiculous,” I whispered to Ger as Julie
whistled over at the boys. “Why are we doing this
again?”

“
Because it’s fun,” Ger whispered back.

I wasn’t
convinced. Whistling back and forth seemed pretty lame; however, it
was better than sitting at home, especially if I was going to be
trapped indoors throughout the following day.

“
The boys are all dying to talk to you,” Ger said, glancing
sideways at me.

“
What? Why?”

“
Think it’s your accent. Bit of strange.” Julie winked, but her
smile seemed forced.

“
Well, I’m not interested. We’ll probably end up moving on soon
anyway.”

“
Really? To where?” Julie perked up.

I
shrugged, feeling awkward all of a sudden. “Who knows? Wherever the
road takes us.”

“
That’s so cool. I would love if my family upped and left
whenever they felt like it. I’d go everywhere, see everything, and
I so would not be taking any stupid exams.”

“
Everything catches up with you,” I said, but she wasn’t
listening anymore. I looked over at the boys again. Julie ventured
over to them, gaining the attention of everyone except Connor. His
eyes remained on me. He was a constant. The silent figure I
couldn’t ignore, and didn’t want to ignore. I wanted to hear him
talk and laugh. I wanted to know what he was really like, and I
realised too late, I wanted to see if he could compare to
Andriy.

Suddenly,
the act of bringing Connor out of his shell felt like a game to me,
and I sauntered over to him, surprised by my own
bravery.

“
Hi,” I said when I stood directly in front of him, ignoring
the whispers and giggles around us.

He didn’t
blink. “Hey.”

I felt
awkward then, not quite knowing what to do next, so I turned and
walked away. If he followed, cool. If he didn’t, I’d tell everyone
I had decided to go home. Real mature.

Luckily,
he followed. I could sense him, even before I heard his footsteps.
I led him toward the woods but didn’t know why I was moving toward
the place my grandmother had been murdered. I usually took the long
way around to avoid the woods, but there I was, heading straight
for the trees, daring something to come for me.

As he
reached me, his hand slipped around mine, and he led me among the
trees and away from safety, straight into the darkness.

The
thought occurred to me that he had something to do with the
werewolves, and that he might be leading me into danger, but he
pushed me against a tree and kissed me roughly, instead. When our
teeth collided, I thought I might die of embarrassment, but he
didn’t stop and instead, wrapped his arms around my
waist.

He tasted
like mint, and his kiss was a little sloppy. But I liked being in
the woods and having something to think about other than death. I
needed to make memories that didn’t involve loss or grief. I drank
in his scent, feeling dizzy as it overwhelmed me, and I clung to
him tighter than before. I was afraid to let go, but I was more
afraid of letting the bad thoughts arise. I shivered, and he pulled
away before I could stop him.

“
You okay?” he whispered, his lips redder than usual, and that
calm expression wiped off his face. I nodded, staring at him,
wondering why I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed anymore. Everything I
had imagined about him had blown up in my face. Now he was ordinary
and like everyone else. Yet, I didn’t leave.

I didn’t
wander into woods to kiss boys I barely knew every day, but I felt
as though this might be the right thing to do this time. A little
of the ache in my chest dissipated while he held me, the pain
flying away at the normality of it all. Not the perfect kiss or the
perfect boy, but definitely, the perfect time.

I kissed
him again, and he held me closer than before, his hands travelling
across my body until I pushed him away.

“
I have to go,” I said.

Without
protest, he nodded, and moved to follow me.

“
I don’t need to be walked home,” I insisted. I needed to catch
my breath.

“
I know,” he said once again, falling into step next to
me.

We walked in silence to my home, and the awkwardness came back
with a
bang
. We
lingered outside my house, and though he moved to kiss me, I pulled
back and glanced warily at the house.

“
My family…”

“
I don’t care,” Connor said before kissing me briefly on the
lips. “Can I see you Saturday?”

“
Oh, I can’t. I promised my brother…”

“
The day after, then,” he said before I could think of a
reasonable excuse.

“
Oh.” I fidgeted at my bracelet as I considered the question.
Did I really want to see him on the weekend? Yes. Did I want to
kiss him again? Maybe. Was it better than sitting at home with my
family? Definitely.

“
Okay,” I said after a couple of seconds. “I’d like
that.”

“
I’ll knock for you, maybe.” He kissed me for a moment longer
before heading off, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his
jeans. Watching him leave, I was baffled by the way I had acted. I
needed to get inside before one of my family members sniffed me,
and him, out. That would be embarrassing.

Inside,
Nathan pointedly didn’t say a word about Connor, even though I
could tell he knew what was going on.

I almost
smiled.

***

I
eavesdropped on the family meeting that didn’t include me. It was
more of the same circling and disagreeing and hurt feelings. Nathan
was convinced that this other wolf, Ryan, would help us, and he was
standing up to Opa, except my grandfather wouldn’t accept what
Nathan claimed. He couldn’t seem to face doing things somebody
else’s way. Well, if Nathan could stand up to him, then so could I.
When Opa stormed off, completely unwilling to listen or be
reasonable, I decided to take him on.