Accidentally...Over?: Accidentally Yours 5 (13 page)

“Oh, hey. Thanks. Makes tons of sense.”

“You are making fun, I see. However, I assure you, I tell the truth. My first trip to meet you is ten days from now. This is when you are hit by the bus. My second trip is in approximately three days from now. This is when I fail to save you from the bee. My third visit to you was a few days ago, when you hit me with the shovel. So as you see, this is why we must leave now. I must take you somewhere safe until your life is squarely on a new path, one where you are destined to live.”

“Okay.” Ashli took a deep breath and bobbed her head. “But I’m not leaving here.”

Máax’s anger spiked. Why did she need to argue this point? “Because you have a date with the doctor?”

Ashli huffed, “You’re joking, right?”

“I do not joke.”

She rolled her eyes. “ ’Kay, buddy. Whatever.”

“My name is Máax, not Buddy.”

She smiled as if trying not to laugh. “Máax. It’s a nice name.”

“Not really, but it is a story for another day. In the meantime, you will answer my question.”

“Listen to you. You’re like a robot. Are all gods so stiff? Christ, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.”

“I am very ancient, Ashli. I simply do not see the need to add hyperbole to my speech or inflection to my voice. It will do little to impact the situation. A situation, I might add, that is dire, yet you refuse to take seriously. But I assure you, there is nothing more serious than this. I must keep you alive so that you can fulfill your destiny, which is why you need to come clean. What are you hiding?”

“Hiding? Me? Like what?”

“You’re the key to stopping the apocalypse. There has to be a reason why—your family history, special abilities, something. And do not lie to me; I will know.”

Ashli rolled her eyes. “You can’t seriously believe I can stop the end of the world? That’s absurd.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“Wow. You’re a real charmer.”

“Yes. I am. It comes with the territory. Now stop avoiding the question, woman.”

She threw up her hands. “Listen to yourself. Do you honestly think I have a clue what you’re talking about? Or that if I did, I’d lie about it? I hate liars. Dishonesty is for cowards and criminals.”

“And you have no idea why the Universe wishes to extinguish you?”

“Ohmygod! No!”

Fantastic. This was like trying to steer an oil tanker through a maze of icebergs while blindfolded. At night. Alone. While doing tequila shots and hopping on one foot. “Then I have no choice but to take you somewhere safe. You will pack your things immediately.”

She stifled a chuckle and then released a frustrated breath. “What makes you think I’m safer somewhere else? If my number’s up, it’s up.”

Fucking hell!
Why did she not understand? That was not how the Universe functioned. Survival of the fittest. You fought or perished. Nothing was handed to anyone. It was a brutal, brutal world that required an iron constitution, conviction, and determination. Without those, you’d be overrun by the will of many. Drowned by their competing agendas.

He growled. “If you are not willing to fight for your
existence, then I will. I will not allow you to take such a complacent approach.”

“So you’re a superhero, Máax? You think you can stop the planet from spinning, change the order of the seasons, stop time?” she asked.

“But of course. I am a deity.” Had he not said this already? What was the matter with this woman? “However, this does not signify that I do not encounter my fair share of challenges. Such is life. Complications are to be expected. For example, I cannot be allowed to encounter myself. It would be very destructive for the order of the Universe, which is yet another reason we should leave.”

She grabbed a pen off the counter and marked a giant
X
on her puppy calendar. “Okay, then.”

“What is the meaning of that?” Did she want to play tic-tac-toe?

“Today is the day I’ve heard it all,” she explained.

Oh. Good
. Because tic-tac-toe was his competitive Achilles’ heel. Once he started, he couldn’t stop until he won. “In actuality, you have not ‘heard it all.’ You haven’t begun to scratch the surface of my world; however, that will have to wait. We must leave.”

“You don’t actually expect me to pick up and go? Who’ll take care of the café? Fernando’s new; he can’t run the place by himself.”

“This is why I did not return to you immediately. I have made arrangements for your café and home to be looked after for as long as you are away.”

“By whom?” she said bitterly.

“We call them Uchben,” he explained. “They are our human allies and manage our affairs in this realm.”

She laughed and put another
X
on her calendar. “Sure. Why not?”

She was mocking him. And sparking an urge in him to draw a circle on her calendar. “Do you truly find it hard to believe?”

“I can’t just let some strangers take over my life, Máax.”

“Then we shall stop by your café, and you will meet our most valued Uchben soldiers: Brutus and his men. Then they will no longer be strangers. I have also arranged for the Uchben to take us to my brother’s home in Arizona. It is the safest place I know. There is a large Uchben encampment a few kilometers away, along with our private hospital, underground bunker, and 24/7 security.”

She frowned and rubbed her temples. “I’m not going.”

“Of course you are; I told you so.” Was her hearing impaired by the head injury?

She gasped. “You can’t expect me to uproot and leave behind everything I love because you mistakenly believe I’ll save the world someday. Or because you tell me to. This. Is. My. Home.”

“And I. Am. A. Deity. I am never mistaken, and it is my job to tell you what to do.”
Ridiculous woman. Does she not understand the order of the Universe?

“I will say this once and once only”—she lifted her index finger in the air for emphasis—“I don’t care if you’re the pope who’s got a magical lottery wand powered by unicorns, you don’t rule me.”

Infuriating woman! What importance do Minky and the ruler of the Catholics have to any of this?
He took a step toward her, barely resisting the urge to shake her by the shoulders and spank her silly. “You are a human.
Hu. Man. Simple. Mortal. Naive. I am a god. Immortal. Ancient. Wise.”

“You’re an ass. That’s what you are.” The smoldering fury in her hazel eyes caused him to take a step back and check for any shovels. Coast was clear.

“You call me an ass, yet you are the one fighting to stay inside this hovel. It doesn’t even have air-conditioning.”

“This
hovel
was built by my parents. I love this hovel!”

“It is still just a home. A material thing that can be replaced like any other. Your life, on the other hand, cannot.”

“I’m. Not. Leaving.”

He sighed. This conversation wasn’t going according to plan. Perhaps if he explained his superior rationale, she’d understand why his plan was best. “Ashli, can we please cut the crap?”

“Finally! A word I understand! Crap. Which you’re totally full of.” She crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one foot, causing her hip to jut out. He couldn’t help but note how her feisty, defiant nature made him hot under the collar. Metaphorically speaking. The fire in her hazel eyes, her heaving chest, the blush on her outraged cheeks were enough to make his cock turn into a sold brick.

Sonofabitch.
He stepped back, not wanting to poke her with the fucking thing. He glared down at his throbbing erection. Not that he could see it.
Really? Can you not wait until we are somewhere private?
Though he could not leave her again to take care of business. With his luck, a 747 packing piranhas would crash into her house and take her out.

Dammit.
He needed to calm her down. He needed her to cease this exasperating—okay… stimulating—behavior
lest he be forced to bend her over the kitchen counter and fuck her like a mindless beast, possessed by lust.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. You will not think of mounting her like a randy little dog. You are a god. Divine. Above your physical needs.

Tell that to your raging erection.

“Ashli,” he said in a forced calm, “I merely wish to provide the optimal circumstances for your survival.” Without her, the world was doomed. She had to see that.

“Poke my eye.”

“Sorry?”

“Poke it,” she said. “My eye.”

With what? Because surely, she can’t mean what I think she means.
“Care to elaborate?”

“I’d prefer that over listening to the stick up your ass talk to me.”

“Grrrr…” He was a deity. Not to be defied or trifled with. Why would she insult him? “You cannot see me, so I will tell you that at this very moment, I am looking at you in such a way that would convey utter fury. You are insolent, ungrateful, and rude. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why the Universe thought to pair us. But I will tell you this: your unappreciative, peasantlike attitude only affirms that I’ve made the appropriate decision to have all memory of you wiped from my mind once I have saved you.”

Ashli’s eyes opened wide and then narrowed into tight little slits. “What did you just say, Casper?”

“I know not who this Casper fellow is, but
I
am more suited to be mated with a festering pile of cow dung than to you. I plan to save you, then have you forever removed from my mind.”

“Couldn’t agree with you more! Festering pile of shit would be perfect for you!”

“No,” he clarified. “
Better
than you. A festering pile of dung is
better
than you because it doesn’t waste its time with silly, irrational attachments to houses when the fate of all life hangs in the balance.”

I cannot believe I just said that. I am an idiot.

Her eyes went from anger to something resembling wounded, and his heart instantly retreated from its self-righteous rage. Why had he said that? Yes, he’d meant it—well, sort of; the woman wasn’t without her jaw-dropping, attractive qualities, to be sure—but that didn’t mean he had to hurt her feelings. After all, she was his mate. It was his job to make her realize how special she was and to make her feel adored.

Perhaps it is you who is beneath the dung. Yes, you belong in a dungeon for unworthy dung.

Shut up, you idiot.

Her gaze dropped to the floor. “I see.”

“What I meant to say was—”

“Don’t.” She held out her hand. “I get it. No need to explain. You win. I can’t fight anymore. I don’t have the strength.” Ashli sighed exasperatedly and turned toward her bedroom.

Fantastic job, asshole.
“Ashli, you must listen—”

“Will he mind?” She stopped with her back to him.

“Will who mind?”

“Your brother?” she asked solemnly. “Will he mind us barging in?”

So she’d given in and seen he was right.
Winning!
He hit pause on his ego’s victory lap and noticed something odd.
Funny, the victory feels more like a loss.
Why was
that? Could it be because his winning the argument had been at the expense of her feelings? He didn’t quite know.

“In this particular juncture of history, he and my other brothers and sisters are currently trapped inside several cenotes a few hours from here.”

She looked toward him from over her shoulder. “Should I ask why you don’t free them?”

“I, too, am with them—the version of me that exists in this time—but we will be freed in about nineteen years.” He chuckled. “Ironically, twenty years into the future, they are locked away again but inside glass jail cells. I sense a theme emerging.”

Ashli glared for a moment and then shook her head.

“It is a long story,” Máax explained, “but I’m sure it will all work out in the end.”
Perhaps.

“Whatever. I’ll go pack.” She disappeared down the hallway, punctuating her annoyance by slamming her bedroom door.

Fury, confusion, denial, and sadness churned inside Ashli’s heart like a temperamental time bomb, ready to burst in her chest. Was the world really going to end? How? And why did he believe she’d be the one to stop it?

Completely ridiculous!
There was nothing special about her other than she’d been right about death chasing her. And that those dreams of hers weren’t dreams at all. She really had died. Or was about to die?

Ohmygod. This is depressing.

She sank down on the edge of her unmade bed, trying to catch her grip. But what shocked her most was how wounded she felt. That invisible being in her living room
had said he couldn’t stand her. He’d compared her to a pile of poop and went so far as to say she was beneath it.

What a complete jerk! Arrogant, pompous, a-hole extraordinaire!
And yet, a stupid little part of her actually felt wounded. Yes! Wounded. Like a child on a playground who’d been told she had cooties or had bad breath by the cute boy.

She cupped her hand in front of her face and sampled her breath. Still smelled like raspberry tea.

She chuckled at herself.
Oh my God. You’re better than him. Who cares what he thinks? That’s right. In fact, I’m glad he’ll be out of my life for good once this is all over. The dude is transparent and the biggest Cro-Mag to walk the planet since… well, the Cro-Mag!
Though she knew damned well he was a god and had the body to prove it, which brought her to the next set of unsavory thoughts. She still felt drawn to him. Yep. Genuinely—
gulp!
—fascinated by the entire unfathomable mess.