Accepting Destiny (19 page)

I sit up straight and wipe the dampness from my cheeks, determined to be strong. “Yes, please.”

The orderly wheels me down the hall to the elevator and down to the ICU floor. My parents are standing with me, my dad’s hand on my shoulder. “Miss Sanders, just so you are aware
, he won’t look like you remember him. His face is swollen and bruised, so please try to keep any surprise quiet. We aren’t sure if he can hear what is going on around him, so you need to be as calm as possible.”

I nod my head in acceptance, but don’t say anything. I’m fearful for what I am about to see, but he needs all of the support he can get. As I roll around the corner, I see Dani sitting in the waiting room, her eyes puffy from crying. She’s curled in to Tony’s arms and he is gently stroking her hair. As I come around the corner, she looks up at me and just a little light fills her eyes. “Alexandra, oh my God. Are you okay?” She jumps up and heads for me.

“Yes, I think so. Just minor injuries, I’m lucky to be alive,” I say, as she wraps her arms around me gently.

“Yes, you are. Jackson isn’t so lucky right now, we’
re praying he comes out of this,” she says, as the light in her eyes flickers away.

“He saved my life, I hear. Now I’m he
re to do what I can to save his,” I tell her, while squeezing her hand.

“He loves you, you know?”

“I do now, and I’m so sorry I didn’t believe him when he told me. I just......I don’t know, all of this is so surreal. I feel like I’m trapped in a time warp and I can’t get back.”

She nods, “I know. Me too. Now, go see Jackson. Tell him how you feel, even if he can’
t hear you. He deserves to know,” She tells me.

It’s at that point that I realize
, I really do love him. I feel so guilty about all of this and the fact that I never told him to his face. I regret that now, so much. But I try not to dwell on it and put all of my efforts in to making sure he knows it now.

The orderly rolls me down the hall and my parents stay with Dani and Tony. As the door opens to his room, I hear those same beeping sounds I heard earlier. The room is dark, but enough light shines in from the windows that I can see Jackson lying there on the bed. His strong body weak, his sculpted face bruised and puffy. I suck in a breath and try and keep my emotions from showing. It’s hard, because I’m a girl. But I do my best.

I’m wheeled right next to his bed, where I lay my hand on top of his. He looks so different than what I remember, thinking the last two days have been the longest in my life. I gently squeeze his hand and whisper in his ear. “Jackson? It’s me, Ally. Wake up baby, I’m here,” I say, flinching at the fact that I called him ‘baby’. I’ve never called him that before, or any other term of endearment, but now it seems to come so easy.

Maybe it’s because of the trauma I’ve experienced, or maybe it’s the fact that Jackson almost gave his life for mine.....and still could. My head is swimming with grief and my heart is hurting for him, and me. Could this all really be over before it ever really begins?

“I know I haven’t told you this before, but I love you. I really do, and I’m so sorry I never told you. You almost died for me and I can’t.......I can’t believe we are here, in this place now. Please, come back to me,” I whisper, as I lean in and kiss his swollen cheek, groaning at my own pain. But he doesn’t move, his eyes closed and no movement under his lids. A tear rolls down my cheek and I choke back the sob.

“Miss Sanders?” I hear from behind me. I lift my weary head and look back to see his nurse standing there. “I’m sorry, but your time is up. You can come back later if you like.”

I nod my head and grab the wheels to the chair I’m in and struggle to move it forward. The orderly is there in an instant, ready to push me back to my room. “I’m sorry, Jackson. I’m so very sorry,” I whisper, as I gently lay his hand back down to his side. As the door closes behind me, the sobs break from my chest.

Before I can even breathe, Dani is beside me
, as are my parents. “Oh my God, I did this to him! He’s never going to forgive me. God, please heal him and bring him back to me!” I sob in to my hands. “No, Ally. This isn’t your fault, please understand that. He loves you and would do it all over again to protect you,” Dani says quietly. But all I can do is shake my head.

“No no, I can’t....I won’t let him do anything else that puts himself in
danger. Damn that Madison Stone,” I hear Dani breathe deeply....”What are you talking about, Ally? Madison is dead.”

I realize then that Dani doesn’t know yet, which surprises me. “Chase hasn’t talked to you?” I ask her. She shakes her head, “No. Why, what’s going on?”

“Damn, I’m sorry. I thought you knew already. Madison is alive, she is the one that did this. She meant to hit ME with the car, but she hit Jackson instead.”

“I knew he pushed you out of the way, but I had no idea Madison....
....shit, that explains so much,” she pulls back and turns towards the window of the waiting room. “She never got over Jackson, but she died.....he told me she did, but I never......” She’s babbling now.

“Dani, from what I understood from Detective Rowland, Madison was placed in Witness Protection
, while the APD and the FBI were trying to bring down the cartel that fed her the drugs that she OD’d on. She didn’t die, but Jackson didn’t even know......not until the day of the accident. At least that’s what Detective Rowland told me. I remember standing on the sidewalk, seeing them talking.....intimately, when she looked up and saw me. I bolted like the fraidy cat that I am and split, but Jackson came after me. I don’t remember much after that.”

“Jackson tried to explain and I got angry, because he never explains anything to an extent where I can understand him, I never gave him the chance. I didn’t know who she was
, until Chase told me a while ago.”

“I wonder why he didn’t tell me,
” Dani asks.

“Maybe because you have enough going on here with Jackson that he didn’t want to burden you with it. I know
, I wish I hadn’t said anything. I’m sorry, Dani. I thought you knew.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you told me. So much makes more sense now. Madison was always a little “off” I guess. Ever since our parents tried to push them together, she became obsessed with him. He thought it was cute at first, but they were so young at the time. When she got sick and then in to drugs, he cut her loose and that only made things worse. He had finally decided to move on, with you
, after she was gone.”

“And I fucked that up,
” I snap, my father looking at me with disgust. “Sorry dad.”

“Ma’am, we ne
ed to get you back to your room,” the orderly says, as he turns me back towards the door. “Take care, Dani. I’ll try to come back later to visit again. Come see me, if you want to talk some.” I tell her.

“That’s my girl,” my mom says.
“Always looking out for others, even though your world is falling apart around you. No wonder Jackson loves you.”

I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. I’m torn apart inside and I know my life will never be the same.

The next couple of days go by slowly. Heather and Dani have visited regularly, and my parents are now alternating visitation, so my dad can get back to work. I’ve been told I can go home tomorrow, but there hasn’t been any change in Jackson’s condition. Dani has set it up, so I can go back and visit him again, so now I’m standing at his doorway, watching him sleep. His chest is rising but he looks different. It takes me a second to realize, the ventilator, has been removed. He looks so peaceful, yet inside I know he’s not.

The nurse follows me in and smiles, “He’s breathing on his
own now. That’s a good sign,” she says as she pats me on my shoulder. I smile a weak smile back at her, and turn to his bed.

I sit down at his bedside, “It’s me, Ally. I’m here, Jackson. Can you hear me?” I ask, but no response. His head is wrapped tight in a bandage, I guess from the skull fracture and some hair is poking out. I brush the hair away from his eyes, and wish I could see those deep green pools. After running my fingers along his jaw, I lay my head down, resting it on the bed beside him. I’m not sure how long I
’m there, but I’m suddenly awoken by a hand stroking my hair. I jerk my head up and look at Jackson. His eyes are open and he’s smiling at me. Well, sort of smiling I guess.

“Hey you, you’re awake. Oh my God, Jackson....it’s so good to
see those beautiful eyes,” I say, as I lean in and kiss his cheek, his fingers dropping out of my hair.

“You’re here,
” He croaks out, his voice scratchy and dry.

“Yes, I’m here,
” I smile back at him. “Let me go get your doctor so he can check you out.” I move to stand up.

“No, not
yet. I need to know you’re okay,” he says, as his eyes scan my face. He slowly lifts his fingers and brushes them across the stitches in my lip, still swollen and bruised from where my face apparently hit the concrete. His eyes fill with concern, but he says nothing.

He drags his fingers along my chin before dropping his hand back down on the bed. I can tell he’s weak and I’m afraid if I don’t get the doc soon, he’s going to pass out on me again.
“I’ll be right back, I promise,” I say, as I lean in and kiss his lips softly.

“Wait,
” He breathes out. “Tell me what happened,” he asks.

“I.....I will, I promise. But first you need to get better. ”

“I could hear you, you know?” He chokes out. “When you were sitting here, I heard everything you said.”

“Good, I’m glad you could hear me. Cause everything I said is true. I love you, Jackson Bentley. I love you so much
that seeing you like this, has my heart hurting so bad. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before....”

“Shhhh, Ally. It’s okay, I know,” h
e whispers. “I love you too, more than anything in the world, though I’m a bit angry at you right now,” he says with a smirk. Leave it to Jackson Bentley to smirk at me, just after coming out of a coma.

“Angry? Why?” I ask, feigning surprise. I know why he’s mad, and I’m mad at myself too for leaving the beach without telling anyone.

“You know why. When Jason called me and told me you were gone, I fired him on the spot. You never turned your phone on and I couldn’t track you. I’m just thankful that whoever was after you, didn’t find you.”

I realize at that point,
he doesn’t know it was Madison that put him in the hospital, and I decide that now, is not the time to tell him. I won’t wait long, but I have to wait until he’s stronger. I reach down and press the red button to summon the nurse, since he won’t let me go get anyone. He growls at me for doing that, but I don’t care.

A few minutes later the door bursts open
, and in comes the doctor, a nurse and Dani. “Oh Jackson! You’re awake!” Dani squeals and I step back to allow her to get to her brother. “You gave us quite the scare, young man. Don’t ever do this again, Jack,” she cries, as she wraps her arms around him.

“I’m okay, Dani. Shhhh....don’t cry. What is it with these crying women around here?” He asks
, as he looks from Dani to me, and I realize, tears are streaming down my face too.

“It’s been a long week, Jackson. And we
’re women, we’re allowed to cry,” Dani says, with a quiet chuckle, glancing over at me as, I snicker along with her.

“If you ladies will excuse us,
we need to examine Mr. Bentley,” the doctor says. Dani reluctantly releases Jackson and we move to the door. “And Miss Sanders, I believe you are due back in your room, as you haven’t been released yet.”

“Your room?” Jackson asks
, with concern on his face as he tries to sit up. Then realizing I’m wearing only a hospital gown and a pair of shorts, Heather brought me.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to be released tomorrow. I’ll be back down here
, as soon as I’m discharged,” I move back to his bedside, groaning as I bend down to kiss him on the forehead.

“You’re in pain, Ally. What is it?”

“Don’t you worry about me Jack. I’m fine, just a little sore still, but that’s nothing for you to be concerned about right now.”

“Alexandra, tell me.”

I sigh, because I know he’s going to persist until I tell him. “Just a couple of broken ribs, I’m better now though. Like I said, I should get out of here tomorrow, but I’ll see you before then.” I say, pressing my lips against his hairline. “I love you, Mr. Bentley,” I smile as I leave the room, not waiting for him to return the sentiment. I figure I owe him so many “I Love You’s” and I plan to make up for lost time.

I make my way back to my room, sobbing the entire way. I’m so relieved that he’s going to be okay...well, at least I h
ope he is. He was in a coma so I’m sure they have to run extensive tests to be certain, but I resign myself at that moment that I will be beside him every step of the way, no matter what.

I crawl back in
to bed, leaning back slowly so not to jar my ribs. I’m a tummy sleeper, so these broken ribs have put a serious damper in my rest. Before I can get comfortable, Heather and my mom burst through the door. “Where have you been?” My mother harps out.

“Relax mom, I went down to see Jackson. He’s awake now.”

“Oh Ally, that’s wonderful news! I know it must have made you feel better to finally see him. I personally can’t wait to meet the man that has stolen my daughter’s heart,” she says, as she sits down in the chair beside my bed.

“I brought you a change of
clothes from your apartment, Al,” Heather says, as she sets a bag down on the table. “You can wear this home tomorrow.”

“Thanks, H. I appreciate it,
” And I burst in to tears. Shit, I’ve really gotta stop doing this. I’m a blubbering mess these days. And rightfully so, if I may say so myself. The last few weeks have been crazy, wonderful, scary and downright intimidating, but I made it and I hope I come out of the other side a much stronger, more confident woman. I’ve survived kidnapping, a stalker, another kidnapping - though I snicker at that one, cause that wasn’t really kidnapping - and a major accident, and I fell in love for the first time in my life. Who knew that one crazy trip to Miami would change my life, like it has.

My mom wraps her arms around me, leaning in to the bed and Heather takes her place on the other side, also hugging me.
Heather has always been a hugger. I fake a smile at them and lean my head back. The trip down to see Jackson wore me out.

“How is he?” Heather asks.

“He woke up, while I was sleeping,” they both look at me. “I had laid my head down on his bed, holding his hand and fell asleep. I woke up to him running his hands through my hair. Kinda startled me, cause I wasn’t expecting to fall asleep, I guess.”

“Ally, you’ve been through quite an ordeal, so you need to tak
e it easy and rest. You’ll be coming home with us tomorrow and staying there for a while before going home,” my mom informs me.

“No mom, I need to go back to my apartment. After the break in, nothing got cleaned up and I need to go through everything to make sure nothing was taken. I really want to go home. H is in the next building and she can come help
, if I need her.”

“Well, I don’t like it one bit. Your ribs are still sore and......well, I’m not going to argue with you. I’ll let your father talk to you.”

“No mom, let it go. I’m going home and that’s final,” I tell her, but she just murmurs something about me being a stubborn girl. I roll my eyes at her, as she stands to pick up her purse.

“I’m going home to fix your father’s dinner, will you be okay?”

“Yeah mom, I’m fine. I’m supposed to get out of here tomorrow and Heather can come get me,” I say, looking at Heather, to make sure that’s okay. She knows I have no desire to spend the next few days with my parents. She nods at me and my mom, then she makes to leave as well. It’s already seven o’clock, so my dinner should be here shortly, at least I hope anyway, because my stomach is growling.

They both leave and I am alone again with my thoughts. I debate going back down to ICU
, to see Jackson, but the lunch lady comes in with food. It smells good too, either that or I’m just hungry. As she sets the covered dish on my table, I pull it towards me and lift the lid. Yikes, what is that? It looks like barbecued road kill, or street pizza. I turn my nose up at it and grab the fruit bowl.

I manage to eat the fruit cup and the roll, but the meat....or meat wannabe, stayed nice and dead on the plate. I may be hungry, but I’m no
t
tha
t
hungry. I’ll make Heather take me somewhere good tomorrow, when I break free of this place.

As I push the table away I hear
, a soft knock on my door. “Come in!” I say towards the door. The door creaks open and in walks Dani with a somber look on her face. “Hi Dani! Is Jackson okay?”

“Yes, he’s fine
, thanks to you. He’s sitting up and been asking about you. I told him I would come up and check on you.”

She glances at the remaining “food” on my plate and I know she’s fixing to go all doctor on me and tell me I need to eat. I chuckle though
, when she turns her nose up at it and shrugs her shoulders. “What in the hell is that?” She asks, pushing the smelly varmint further away.

“Not sure, b
ut I think it moved a while ago,” I laugh. I didn’t feel like what I said was very funny, but Dani breaks out into a fit of the giggles and doesn’t come up for air until there are tears rushing down her face. I’m laughing back at her, but as soon as my stomach muscles clench, I remember about the ribs and suck in a breath.

“Are you all right, Ally?” Dani asks, finally shaking off the tears of laughter.

“Yeah,” I groan, “Hurts to laugh, but it was great hearing and seeing you laugh. I know you’ve been through hell these last few days, so seeing you let it go, is good.”

“Gosh, Ally. I sometimes think you’re too good to be true. Your mother was right, you’re always thinking of others, even when your life is in turmoil. An
yway, I have a surprise for you,” she says, as the turns to the door, it slowly opening.

I see a wheelchair roll in to the room and realize its Jackson. “Jackson! What are you doing out of bed? You just woke up from a four day coma,
you need to get back downstairs,” I scream at him. Well, not really screaming, but louder that I probably should be speaking. He looks....normal. The swelling has gone down a bunch in the last few hours since I saw him last.

“Relax
, Alexandra. I’m being moved into the room next door, so I can keep an eye on you.”

“Oh no you don’t, Mr. Bentley. The only person that will have an eye on them
, is you. Now, get your ass back to your bed before I go ape shit on you,” I say, as I get out of the bed, groaning at the pain. Damn it, I keep forgetting my ribs are fucking broken.

“Lay down, Alexa
ndra,” he demands. Yes, Mr. Bossy Pants is back.

“Me? Lay down? Jesus, Jack, you’re the one that just came out of a coma. You have.....shit, you have a broken head for Christ’s sake! And those internal injuries....damn it, you shouldn’t be out of ICU yet!”

“Well, money can sometimes buy you anything you want, Alexandra,” he growls at me.

“What? Money? You have got to be kidding me, Jack.
It’s is YOU that matters here, not your stinking money. I want you to be able to go home with no side effects of what happened and if you......so help me, Jackson.....” And I stop my ranting cause he’s just sitting there smiling at me. “How in the hell can you recover so soon from what you’ve been through, are you Superman or something? Did the doctors inject kryptonite in your IV?”

Okay, now he’s laughing. This is so not funny and I glare at him through sleepy eyes. “It’s not funny Jackson!”

“Kryptonite? Where do you come up with this stuff?” He chuckles.

“Jackson, do you have any idea of your injuries? You. Broke. Your. Head! Damn it!
Your fuckin
g
head!! You don’t just get up and walk away from that!” I show my frustration, but Dani places her hand on my shoulder, in a feeble attempt to calm me down.

“Ally, it was just a hairline fracture. No permanent damage was done. His lung is healing nicely, so we now just wait for him to be released. The doctors ran another scan a little w
hile ago and he’s gonna be fine,” Dani tells me.