Abandon (6 page)

Aubrey tugged at his sleeves, already sticking in the overheated, crowded rooms of the Sedgmont’s musicale. He looked again at the entrance, trying to be subtle, but Harriet had assured him that Lucy had recovered from her headache and planned to attend tonight's performance. The violinist was supposed to be superb, although Aubrey did not believe that he would surpass some of the performers that he himself had heard during his stay in Italy.

He was still irritated that George had aided Lucy in escaping the park this morning. George insisted that Lucy had not felt well, but then why should he let her ride back alone? What if she became more unwell on the way? No, there was something that George had not told him. He tried to press him in the carriage on the way, but Harriet kept diverting the subject. She talked about the people she had met in the park, who might attend the musicale, and so on, and would not answer any questions about Lucy.

And it was not that he felt guilty about his treatment of Lucy. He had only wanted to see if he could arouse some jealousy when he had strode off to chat with the insipid Miss Bennett and Lady Amelia North. The old Lucy would not have stood for him abandoning her like that. She would have marched right over and taken his arm, establishing her hold on him. It bothered him that she would rather flee the battle and forsake her rights. Did she really no longer care about him? He thought that he had made some progress during the ride and while helping her down from the tree limb.

She had looked so beautiful with her flushed cheeks and her curls around her face as he lifted her down from that branch. It was all he could do not to kiss her right there and he thought that she might not be unwilling as well.

“There she is. Thank goodness.” Harriet was nodding her head towards the doorway. He looked up and immediately stiffened, a pain stabbing at his gut.

Lucy stood at the entrance to the room and she was beautiful. She outshone every other woman in the room.  Her dress was an icy blue, covered with little pearls that matched the pearls strung through her chestnut hair. Her skin was pale and she looked like the queen of winter, remote and disdainful of those who turned to look at her. Her slender arm rested on the sleeve of that black-hearted James Lennox who was supposed to be doing his ducal duties on his estates which in Aubrey's estimation should be far away.

Aubrey clenched his fists as Harriet and George moved forward to greet the new arrivals. Lucy was smiling and looking up at Carlisle, that great buffoon, her eyes alight with triumph. She was making a point of ignoring him, but he knew that she was aware of his presence in the group.

"Carlisle, I had no idea that you were back in town." Aversley was genial and welcoming. "I thought that you had left for the season."

The tall man almost blushed and looked down at Lucy. "Yes, that had been my intent, but I received a request that I could not and would not refuse."

Lucy lowered her eyelashes and put her hand over her mouth as she tittered, then batted her eyelashes at Carlisle. Aubrey couldn't believe his eyes. Lucilla Blount had never flirted a day in her life. She was appallingly bad at it, but the big lout straightened and patted her arm, seemingly oblivious to the falsity of her manner.

Aversley looked sideways at his betrothed and Harriet responded with a shrug. “Your Grace, I don’t believe you have met our good friend, Viscount Lovell. Lovell, this is His Grace, the Duke of Carlisle.”

Carlisle inclined his head, but Lucy pulled his attention away by tugging on his arm.

“Carlisle, I am dreadfully thirsty. Can we get some ratafia? Please?” Lucy crooned at the Duke. At this point even Carlisle was looking askance at her.

“Of course, my dear, in just a moment. I would like to speak to Lovell here for the nonce.”

Lucy’s eyes widened and Harriet rushed forward and took her arm. “Aversley, would you please get us something to drink while Lady Lucilla and I take a moment in the repairing room? I need her help with something, a flounce.” Harriet was flustered, but she sailed off arm-in-arm with Lucy while George gave a short bow and went off to do her bidding.

Carlisle was just a few inches taller than him and Aubrey hated that. He waited for Carlisle to say whatever it was that he wanted to say, but the man just stood there and looked him up and down. Aubrey risked a peek to see the back of Lucy’s head as Harriet dragged her up the stairs to the next floor where the retiring room was situated.

“Have you known Lady Lucilla long?”

Carlisle's voice startled Aubrey and brought his focus back to the man. Apparently, the big buffoon was not as dull as he appeared.

“Her brother’s lands run along the boundary of my own estate. We have known each other since we were children,” Aubrey replied.

“And you have just arrived back from the continent?”

“Yes, I was in Italy for five years.” Aubrey was getting irritated at the Duke’s inquisition, but there was not much he could do about it at present. There were people all around watching them curiously. Carlisle smirked at him as if the same realization had occurred to him also. Then he lost the grin as another thought presented itself.

“Five years? You left England five years ago?” His eyes narrowed as he waited for Aubrey’s reply.

Aubrey looked him in the eye. “Yes, Your Grace, I left England five years ago. I was under a misapprehension that caused me to leave mistakenly and I am now here to rectify that error.”

Carlisle tapped a long elegant finger against his lips while he pondered this admission. “I believe that I see.” He gave Aubrey a hard stare. “Aversley tells me that you are a good an. And if you have a reason for the hurt you did her...,” he paused as Aubrey stiffened. “Yes, I can tell it was you. Her odd manner alone would have given it away. Anyway, I expect that you will redeem yourself and treat her well if she will have you. But if you hurt her in any way I will hunt you down and see you dead in a most unpleasant manner.”

Aubrey gave a low bow, then faced the Duke. “Your Grace, I will never stop trying to make up for the damage I caused Lady Lucilla. I would be the luckiest man on earth if she would have me. And I do intend that to be our future - together.”

Carlisle winced just a little and Aubrey remembered that the man had asked for Lucy’s hand not that long before.

He said in a low voice, “I love her and I have always loved her. I will not hurt her again.”

Carlisle gave a sharp nod. “Would you please relay my regrets to Lady Lucilla? Another estate emergency has called me away and I will not be returning anytime soon. I will leave her in your capable hands.”

“Thank you, Your Grace. You need not worry. I will convey your apologies.” Carlisle spun around and headed for the door, ignoring the mamas and their daughters trying to gain his attention. Aversley arrived bearing two glasses of ratafia in time to see his back going through the doorway.

“Is Carlisle leaving?” he asked. “I thought he had just arrived. Is he taking Lady Lucilla with him?

“No, I assured him that we would bring her home in our carriage. He had an estate emergency.”

“Estate emergency? Now?”

Aubrey raised an eyebrow and George pursed his lips.

“I see.”

“See what, my dear?” Harriet and Lucy were back and Lucy did not look happy. She was turning her head furiously, seeking out her errant escort.

“What did you do with Carlisle?” she angrily asked Aubrey. “Where is he?”

Aubrey put his hands out in a conciliatory manner. “I did nothing. He asked me to tell you that another estate emergency called him away again."

George was bobbing his head. “Yes, yes, Lady Lucilla, and we are to take you home in our carriage after the musicale.”

“Which is starting now.” Harriet took George’s arm and proceeded to find seats. Aubrey laid Lucy’s arm onto his own and followed.

Lucy's chest was heaving as she tried to contain her anger, but she was not sure whom to unleash it on. She might suspect that Aubrey was the main culprit, but how could he have got rid of Carlisle? Jamie knew that she needed him here tonight. She had been most explicit with him while trying not to tell him too much. She sat next to Harriet and Aubrey took the chair on her other side.

He casually turned to look over his shoulder and his thigh pressed against her leg. Lucy gave a little gasp as heat flared in her belly, but then he turned back leaving his leg touching hers. She tried to inch away but Harriet frowned at her as the music was about to start. A thin man, Monsieur something or other, stood at the front of the room with a violin. Lucy gave up and waited for the musicale to begin. Somehow Aubrey had acquired a program and she surreptitiously tried to read what music was being performed this evening. Aubrey did not look up, but he moved the program over and held it up so she could see what it said.

“Hmm, Mozart. I prefer the Baroque period.” Lucy sniffed and settled her reticle in her lap.

“I prefer Beethoven. So much more romantic, don’t you think?” Aubrey smirked at her and tapped the program. “Ahh, but here at the end he is performing some Paganini. I heard him play when I was in Italy and he was a virtuoso. We will see if Monsieur LeTours can compare.”

Lucy eyed Aubrey curiously but then the maestro lifted his bow and began. The violinist seemed quite competent to her and she relaxed, enjoying the Violin Concerto in D Major as the music flowed around them. Almost immediately George’s head bowed and his eyes closed as he settled in for a nap. Harriet looked and rolled her eyes, but did not wake him. Aubrey, on the other hand, was rapt, thoroughly engrossed in the performance. But Aubrey was an artist and although not a musician, still sensitive to the creative world. She watched him surreptitiously when he closed his eyes, the better to absorb the music. He was clearly listening and not asleep like poor George. Lucy wondered at the sensitivity of this man who could so clearly appreciate fine arts but ignore the susceptibility of a young girl.

The cool air outside the Sedgemont’s home was welcoming after the heat inside the music room. Lucy, Aubrey, Harriet, and George waited with other attendees for their carriage to arrive at the front of the line. George was quite refreshed after his nap and happily expounded on the virtues of violin music for sleeping versus the issues involved with applause at a musicale being a detriment to that same sleeping. Harriet was laughing merrily, not at all embarrassed at her fiancé’s faux pas. Indeed, at least half the men and a few of the older ladies had also recouped some energy from napping.

Aubrey was smiling, but he appeared distracted. He had admitted that the maestro had played the Paganini quite well, and he had acted the escort for Lucy during the intermission, fetching a drink and then staying by her side.

Lucy did not know what to make of him. He did not seem interested in any of the other young women that thronged the rooms, even as she had pointed out a few of the more eligible ladies, hoping that one of them might attract him. In the depths of her heart it would have crushed her if he had abandoned her for another, but he had stayed true, never leaving her elbow.

George’s carriage arrived and they all got in. Lucy settled next to Harriet, a little weary. She had been tense all day, waiting to hear back from Jamie. And then he had deserted her so easily. Lucy knew that she had taken advantage of him, but for him to strand her with Aubrey, well, that was beyond the pale. Of course, she could not confide the real reason she needed his escort, so he probably thought she was just being frivolous. She could not fault him in truth.

Conversation was desultory on the ride back home. It wasn’t until they reached Harriet’s home that she realized she had a dilemma. Aubrey had perked up and was watching her as Harriet stepped out of the carriage, George handing her down to escort her up her steps. But Lucy had not made a motion to get out and in the dim carriage lamps she could see Aubrey waiting for an explanation. Even if she stepped down from the carriage here, it was too late and too dark for her to walk the three blocks to her brother’s townhouse all alone.

George stepped back into the carriage and sat next to Aubrey. He smiled and said, “Since you are both residing next door to each other for the time being, there is just one more stop until I can find my own pillow.” He chuckled and added, “As if I haven’t got enough sleep tonight.”

Lucy nodded with a small smile, determined not to respond as Aubrey’s eyebrows rose higher on his forehead. George was a wonderful man, so sweet and perfect for Harriet, but she should have anticipated this dilemma. If Carlisle had taken her home, she would not have any issues. The events of the evening had really discomposed her.

The carriage halted again and Aubrey got out first so that he could hand her down. He could have let the footman perform the task and she almost said so, but she could see that he was waiting for her to say the same. Lucy called good night to George from the sidewalk and the carriage pulled away. She fidgeted with her reticle, trying to pull out the front door key with her gloves on, while Aubrey watched her, arms crossed.

“Problem, sweetheart?” he asked.

“No, and I did not give you permission to call me that.” She finally grasped the damn key only to drop it to the sidewalk. Aubrey immediately scooped it up from where it had fallen.

“That belongs to me,” Lucy said holding out her hand.

“Of course.” Aubrey’s eyes were twinkling. “Just let me see you to the door.” He took Lucy’s arm and compelled her to follow him up the stairs. At the door he ceremoniously placed the key into the lock and turned the handle. “My dear,” he said as he bowed her through the door.

Before she had a chance to react he had stepped into the hallway behind her. Mrs. Brundage had left a bracket of candles burning in a sconce on the wall at the foot of the stairs. A single candlestick sat on the table beneath it for Lucy to light her way to her bedroom.

“Where is your butler, your footmen?” Aubrey asked quietly. Lucy looked down at her feet and mumbled something.

“Lucy, where are your servants?” Aubrey moved a little closer to her, and Lucy busied herself with lighting her candlestick from the sconce and taking it into the parlor behind her. She set the candle on a table and sank down onto a comfortable sofa. Aubrey followed her into the room and sat next to her. She startled and moved further away, but forced herself to stop. She lifted her chin and looked at him.

“I’m staying here with just the housekeeper. She and her husband care for the house when the family is not here. There is no need for more servants when it is just me.”

Aubrey wrinkled his brow. “But what about your maid?”

Lucy stood and went over to a cabinet with several bottles. Without asking him, she poured a whiskey for Aubrey and brought it back over to him.

“I don’t need a maid most of the time so I left her in Yorkshire. Mrs. Brundage aids me on the few occasions when I require assistance with a dress or my hair. Most of what I wear is simple enough to put on or take off…” she trailed off as she saw Aubrey’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. He hastily took a sip of his whiskey.

Lucy blushed and nervously plucked at her dress. Aubrey put down his glass and put his hand over hers. She stilled, conscious of his hot hand resting on her thigh.

“Lucy, what happened to you? Why are you not married with a cadre of little children hanging onto your skirts?” He watched as she jerked and then drew in a deep breathe, but she did not answer him. Instead, a single tear ran down from the corner of her eye. She closed her eyes and tipped her head forward.

“What do you want from me?” Lucy whispered. “Why will you not leave me alone? Why did you come back?” She brought her hands to her face, hiding from him.

“Do not cry, please do not.” Aubrey put his arm around Lucy’s shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She resisted for a moment and then cuddled into him.

“I am not crying,” she sniffed into his chest. “I just do not want you to look at me.”

Aubrey held her, not sure what to say. She was always so brave, his Lucy, and he had not anticipated this collapse. But he could not leave her alone. He had always meant her to be his and he was quite sure that she believed that also. She was just fighting the reality of their emotions.

She lifted her head, her hands on his chest and her eyes so sad. Aubrey could not help but lean forward and touch his lips to hers, just a gentle pressure. She gasped and like that, she was a searing fire in his arms. Her mouth opened and her tongue invaded his mouth, sweeping against his. She whimpered and tried to move closer, so he picked her up, never breaking contact with her sweet mouth, and pulled her onto his lap. Aubrey has hard beneath her rump and he could not help pressing up against her. She was almost frantic, tearing at his cravat, trying to touch his hot skin.

“Easy sweetheart, we have time,” Aubrey crooned at her. She attacked his mouth again as if she did not want him to speak. That was when Aubrey realized that this was wrong, Lucy was too overwrought. He pulled away from her, gently caressing her face, and looked into her eyes. He had always been able to read Lucy’s eyes and now he knew. She was begging him, but she did not know what it was that she wanted. Her feelings for him were still too fraught and confused.

Gradually the passion left her and color rose on her neck. She looked away, embarrassed by her actions. She moved to leave his lap, but he kept his arm around her waist, holding her in place.

“Let me go please,” she said stiffly, still not meeting his eyes.

“No, Lucy, I will never let you go. You were always mine and I am yours.”

“I do not even know what you are saying. It was easy enough to leave me before. Why do you bother with me now? Is this a cruel game, to see if you can win me back just to prove your power over me?” She leapt from his arms and hurried across the room.

“Well, you have won. As you see I easily succumbed to your wiles again without much effort on your part at all. I am a wanton and now you can leave me.” Lucy hissed at him, her shame and bitterness spilling out from deep inside.

Aubrey stood, but did not move towards her, he just studied her where she stood in the dim corner of the room. She had her fist clenched and her head was up, eyes flashing fire at him. She was magnificent and he wondered again how he had ever left her, ever believed the lies.

“Lucy, love, it is not a game with me. I want you and I want you badly. And I want you for always, as far as I can see into the future.”

She put her hands up, tucking in curls that had come loose, her eyes assessing him. “I see.” She walked towards him. “What if I say I will be with you, but only until the wedding?”

“What?” She had shocked him. Aubrey thought frantically, trying to decipher her meaning.

Lucy drew in a breath. “I will be with you in a carnal way, but only until the wedding is over. Then we will part ways and never meet again.”

“I want to think about it.” Her eyes widened and she looked unsure. He continued, “I will meet with you tomorrow morning to discuss my terms.” Aubrey was not going to agree until he had looked at every angle of her proposition.

Lucy nodded with a quick shake of her head. “That will do. Then we will meet in the morning.”

“Definitely.” He lifted her hand and laid a warm kiss on the back. "Until tomorrow."