A Witch In Time: Magic and Mayhem Book Three (7 page)

“So lately the boy has produced flowers with the buds up and the butterflies lost the horns but seemed to have grown fangs.”

“And the fish?” I asked wondering if they’d started twerking…

“Ahh, the fish. They have toed the line so to speak, but the rain is an issue,” he explained.

“The rain?”

“Yup. Every time a certain girl cries, it floods the secret place and the fields explode with indescribable beauty. Which has led the boy to believe she is the other half that would make him whole.”

“Is that the only reason?” I whispered into his chest.

“Nope. The boy knew she was his from the moment he saw her.”

“Don’t you mean from the moment he yelled at her?” I countered and he laughed.

Our first encounter had been auspicious. I’d saved him from the evil honey badgers but accidently zapped the bejeezus out of his ass, knocking him unconscious. I dragged his huge, heavy, bleeding frame back to my place and locked him in a cage. This didn’t go over well when he came to. I wasn’t too happy either since he’d bled all over my Prada. However, I healed him, shouted back at him, stripped my clothes off—much to his shock and mine and then banged the living daylights out of him. And this was my very recent history.

“I beg to differ about the first moment part. It was in the grocery. Remember?” he asked as if he had to. It was burned into my brain.

“You’re correct. I saw you in the grocery.”

“Saw?” he challenged.

“Fine,” I conceded with a snort. “I accidently-on purpose
might
have touched your butt.”

“Grabbed would be more accurate,” he shot back with a chuckle. “I knew then, but I thought you were human.”

“Human?” I asked with surprise.

I supposed it was possible. I hadn’t used my magic in the nine months I’d been in the pokey serving time for killing my cat who wasn’t even remotely dead. My aura was probably a little wonky—but human?

“Yep, it was a bit of an issue.”

“You were going to try to mate with a human?”

I
really
wanted to open my eyes. This was unbelievable. Magical beings could not mate with non-magicals.

“I was in deep discussion with the Goddess who was probably silently laughing her head off,” he told me with his own laugh. “However, after you almost killed me, I was greatly relieved to find out you were a witch.”

“I saved your life,” I yelled, completely insulted. “You were about to bite it.”

“No. I was winning. I would have killed all the honey badgers if I wasn’t trying to protect you,” he insisted. “You were quite the distraction.”

“Thank you,” I replied, still a little miffed that I was underappreciated for my honey badger popping skills. “I was looking really good that day.”

“Yes. Yes, you were—as always. And even though I could lose my alpha werewolf man card for admitting this, I will say you were insanely powerful and did help. I couldn’t have done it without you. Well, I could have, but not with you there.”

“I think I actually followed that,” I muttered as I put my hands over my eyes so I wouldn’t cheat and open them. His acknowledgement of my hotness and the fact that I was a deadly, unstable force of nature removed him from the
I need to smite your ass category
—for the moment. “So why are we here?”

“Because I want you to see what it is that you being here has done to my secret place,” he said simply. “Keep your eyes closed. Let me get in touch with the earth.”

His body tensed and the rhythm of the earth changed. A new kind of magic I’d never felt filled the air. It was mind boggling and a bit unnerving. The wind became a soft melody and it bathed me like the sun on a perfect spring day. The chattering of birds and frogs filled the air and made me giggle. The splashing from the pond were the words that filled the music. I was dying to open my eyes, but I stayed blinded to whatever was happening around me.

“Are you ready?” he asked as he pulled me to my feet.

“Am I?” I asked, unsure if anyone could answer my question other than me.

“Open your eyes, Zelda. See what you’ve done to me.”

Slowly I did and I was flabbergasted at what I saw. Beautiful was a paltry word to describe what was before me. Riotous color rendered me mute. Delicate flowering trees were surrounded by blooming shrubs, and vines in every shade of the rainbow shot up everywhere. Hundreds of fanged, day-glow butterflies flitted around my head as their wings gently brushed my cheeks.

Dropping to my knees, I tried to take in the sheer beauty around me, but it was too much. How could Mac possibly think I was responsible for this? I healed Shifter boo-boos, ate my own weight in cheesecake and conjured up treadmills.

The pond rippled as the purple and turquoise fish hopped in and out of the crystal clear water. Multi-hued birds flew wildly around and sang joyously. This had to be what the Next Adventure looked like. It was too otherworldly for Assjacket, West Virginia.

“Did we die?” I choked out as my eyes began to fill.

“Nope,” Mac said as he guided me to a bench at the base of a tree. “We’ve just begun to live.”

“I can’t do stuff like this,” I whispered. “You’ve made a mistake. I’m not capable of this kind of beauty.”

“Neither am I,” he said. “Not without you.”

“Mac, there’s just no way,” I tied to explain but my tears blurred my words.

And then it happened.

And it was so simple, so wonderful and so terrifying.

As my tears fell from my eyes the rain fell from the sky. The sun didn’t hide away, it grew stronger and brighter. The harder I cried the faster the rain fell. Rainbows shot out from behind the puffy white clouds and sparkled like glitter in the sky.

Mac took my hands and I felt a powerful magic flow between us. As breathtakingly gorgeous as the surroundings were, nothing was more beautiful than the man staring at me with so many unanswered questions in his eyes. Was it really true that together we were capable of making this kind of beauty? Could I trust this? Would I fuck it up?

“There’s another surprise,” Mac said as he tilted my chin up to the branches of the tree above our bench.

Sweet Goddess on bender, now I was certain I was going to turn Mac’s secret place into a flood plain. In the strong and thick branches of the tree was a darling little house. The kind of tree house every little girl dreamt of. The windows had window boxes with peach and lemon yellow flowers spilling from them. Sheer curtains floated in the breeze and there was a porch with rockers on it. It was mesmerizing.

“For me?” I blubbered as I held on to him for dear life.

“For you,” he said. “All of this is for you.”

I was pretty sure what I was feeling was love, but I had a few things to do before I could say the words out loud.

“Mac, I… ”

He quickly pulled me to his chest, making speech impossible. “No. It’s still not time for decisions. You can’t say anything until we’ve had all our dates.”

His expression was worried and unsure and I hated myself for being the reason it was there, but he deserved all of me if I had it to give. There was only one way for me to find out.

I nodded and let my body relax against his as my gaze wandered over the Eden we were standing in. If this was really what we were capable of then I was going to work like hell to fix myself so I deserved it—and him.

“Take me to Roger,” I said with a renewed determination to get my shit together. I was no longer going to protect myself in therapy. I was going to let it rip.

Goddess help us all.

Especially Roger.

CHAPTER 7

“You want to do
what
?” Roger croaked, paler and more alarmed than I’d ever seen him.

“Do you need the puke bucket?” I asked, concerned that the rabbit was going to lose his lunch.

Mac had dropped me off at Roger’s office and I’d caught my therapist as he was leaving for the day. Of course it was after four so Roger’s pallor might be due to drinking… Mac had no clue what I was so fired up about, but he was a very good sport and asked no questions. I’d like to think it was because he trusted my intuition, but more likely he was terrified.

“Just repeat what you just said so I’m sure I heard you correctly,” Roger requested shakily.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” I began enthusiastically and placed the puke bucket at his feet as a precautionary measure. “I want to do two-a-day therapy sessions until I’m fixed—possibly three-a-day because I’m kind of in a time crunch here. I refuse to use my tree house until I can do so without guilt. And I
really
want to use my tree house.”

“Tree house?” he queried cautiously.

“Yep, it’s totally awesome and I’ll have you there for lunch after I’m fixed up and functional.”

“I see,” he murmured as he jotted wildly on a notepad.

“Along with the massive quantities of head shrinking I’m going to do, I’ve decided to star in the play.”

“My goodness, you have?” he questioned, very surprised.

“Yes. I’m doing it for my dad. He is not fitting in very well here due to his obsessive cheating habits and I want him to stay. Therefore, I’m willing to humiliate myself in front of the masses. I mean my Goddess, he was my freakin’
cat
for a few years. The very least I could do for him is give the town reason to make fun of me for the next decade or two.”

“Is there anything else?” he asked.

“Yes,” I stated with a wince as I sat down on the couch and put my head between my knees. “Do you have any paper bags I could breathe into after I say the next part? I’m afraid I might pass out.”

“How about the puke bucket?” he suggested and held it up.

“Good idea,” I said as Roger placed it next to me as I sat on his still ugly couch. “Mmmkay. I’m going to give Saaaaa… ” I stuttered and got light headed.

I could do this. It was right and good and I was trying like a mother humper to change for the better—or at least a loose definition of
the better
.

“Are you all right, Zelda?” Roger asked.

“No. If I was all right I wouldn’t be sitting here telling you I was going to give Sassy full access to my closet,” I gasped out on one breath.

We both sat in frozen silence and waited for the world to explode.

“Shit balls on fire.” I groaned and picked up the bucket just in case. “Did I actually say that aloud and we’re still alive?”

“Yes. Yes you did and yes we are,” Roger said with a weak smile. “Are you sure about all this?”

“Absolutely not,” I told him truthfully. “Sassy will be taking her life into her own hands if she even touches my stuff, but she’s a powerful witch. I figure she’ll be fine with a few zaps and possibly no hair. I just think if I gave up some of my control with material things it would be okay for Mac to climb my hair and perform a private porno in my tree house.”

“The same tree house you’re going to invite me to lunch in?” Roger inquired with a scrunched nose.

“Um… yes.”

“I’m going to pass,” he said politely.

“I thought you were into porno, not that you’d be invited to that part,” I quickly added.

“While I do enjoy the occasional adult film, I prefer not to know the actors,” he replied primly with his hands folded neatly on his desk.

My grin split my face. Prim and porno didn’t quite go together, but we were all strange—some more than others.

“Okey dokey then, we’ll go to the diner.”

“That would be lovely,” he replied with a smirk.

“Back to the rest of the shit show I’m embarking on… the thought of doing the play gives me hives, but I’m fairly certain I love Fabio and I want him to be happy. Do you think that means I really love him? I mean I can’t act my way out of a butthole, yet I’m willing to make a fool of myself.”

While I waited for Roger’s reply, I realized I was holding my breath.

“As to your question,” he said slowly—so slowly I was starting to turn blue… “You are the only one that can answer that.”

“You suck as a therapist,” I shouted. “Here I am ready to lose my entire wardrobe to someone with knockers three times the size of mine and become the joke of the town by performing in a theatrical clusterfuck where people may die and you can’t answer one freakin’ question?”

“It wouldn’t matter if I answered it or not,” the bunny replied logically. “It would simply be my opinion. My opinion doesn’t matter—yours does.”

Son of a bitch, the rabbit was making sense. I didn’t like it anymore than the
no sex
edict he’d shoved into my brain earlier, but I couldn’t even argue with him. He was correct. I needed to make my own decisions. I just hoped a massive dose of therapy, saying goodbye to tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes and getting an ass load of heinous reviews on my acting abilities was going to be enough.