A Weekend of Misbehaving (14 page)

He sucked in his breath. There was a hot pulse in his throat, impossible to swallow. What the hell was he supposed to say? There was no way this could work if she loved him. Whenever love was involved…things got messy and often disappointing. The whole reason why he enjoyed Alice was because they had been able to keep it strictly sexual. Well, maybe not completely. But love? No. He shook his head. It couldn’t be. “I don’t know what to say.”

The bumpy relationship with his father had showed him how emotionally strenuous it was to put yourself in such a vulnerable state. And his marriage had been the cherry on the top during his adult life. If she loved him, he couldn’t take her with him to New York. If she loved him—

The smile faded from her mouth, and she brought her knees to her chest. “Am I wrong? You don’t feel anything for me?”

“I care for you.” He shifted in his seat, hating himself for the sad expression washing over her pretty face. “You are an amazing woman, Alice. But I can’t take things further. In fact, I shouldn’t have last night.”

She folded her arms over her knees. “Why did you come home early from Capri? You could have stayed there.”

“I thought by coming with you, I could help you see I can be a better employer. That I pay attention to your needs. And that going to New York is the best option for you. It may look like your family needs you more than ever, but just think objectively: when we got here, your mother had already found someone to watch Brenda overnight. She chose to sleep at the hospital. Maybe she freaked out when she called you because she’s not used to doing things all by herself.”

“You’re using my sister’s disease and near death to make a point?”

“We can get your sister the treatment she needs. I’ll make sure that happens. Whatever the cost.”

She got to her feet and scrambled for her clothes. “I guess you are good at compartmentalizing, Mr. B.”

“Alice, don’t—”

“I’ll make things easy for you. There is no chance in hell I’m going to New York. I can help you out for the next week or so, for Cara’s sake. As long as we don’t communicate other than what’s strictly necessary. And I want my money so I can pay the loan shark.”

“You got it.” He walked to a safe and retrieved the wad of cash he had withdrawn before they left for Italy. “There.”

“Good.” She yanked it from his hand. “I’ll be off for the rest of the day. Have to help my sister out,” she said, before sauntering out of sight.

He yelled that he could get Gordon to drive her, but she was already gone. Gone. He slammed his fist on the wall. The pain didn’t bring him the relief he anticipated. Letting her go was the right thing to do. But it didn’t mean it was the easy thing to do.

He returned to his room and realized that even though she was gone, her scent clung in the air. Her energy, the rumpled sheets somehow still embodied her presence as if she hadn’t completely left. She had, though. Because of him, and that was fine. Terrific.

Man up.
He’d survived a failed marriage and his wife’s death. How different would this be?

Burying himself in work and parenthood would suffice. He grabbed the phone to call Cara’s camp and warn them he’d be picking her up in a couple hours, when he noticed a missed call from Viola.

He imagined Paul would call him soon to gloat about his victory. Sliding his fingers on the screen, he called her back. His heart raced. What if Paul looked into the painter’s life and connected the dots? All he fought for, his whole life, would go down a filthy drain. Shit.

“Ciao.”

He rubbed his temples
. “Ciao.
I apologize for leaving in a rush. Alice’s sister had an emergency, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

“I heard about that. I’m glad she’s better.”

“How do you know?”

“I texted Alice.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway. Such a pity we didn’t have a chance to talk things over.”

“Yes, it is. This would have been better in person, but—”

Strange as it was, he could visualize her smile on the other side of the world. “I will sell you the paintings. You don’t need to worry.”

He plopped down on his recliner, his shoulder a notch looser. “That is…wonderful. Thank you. We will go over all the details. I will be happy to pay for the shipping and insurance. May I ask you, though, what tipped the scale? I thought Paul had it in the bag.”

“Well, I don’t like to be lied to. But when I texted Alice, I ended up calling her for a chat. She explained to me that from her side, it had always been true. Not the engagement part, I’m not that naive. Her feelings.”

“Yes.”

“It just seemed wrong to keep you from having them just because of your mistake. I guess she’s right. It’s time to let go,” she said after a sigh.

Let go? What hypocrisy from someone who wasn’t doing it herself. Yet the discovery she had always loved him, not just during the weekend, was crushing. He shifted in the chair, and although Viola continued speaking, all he could think of was finding a way to compensate Alice for saving him from having his entire life exposed. And it began with helping her sister.

Chapter Twelve

“W
ow.” Georgia sat across the table from her, both of them finishing the Asian chicken salad they grabbed at lunchtime. Alice was taking a break from hospital duty, as her mother had shown up briefly, and Georgia, who wore a golden glow from the Caribbean Sea that matched the ginormous rock on her finger, insisted on meeting for a quick lunch. “I thought my weekend was exciting. Just wow.”

Alice played with her spinach and arugula mix. “Sorry. I don’t mean to steal your thunder. I know you’re excited about your wedding.”

Georgia waved it off. “Wedding schwedding. You went away with your hot boss and expect me to wanna talk about walking down the aisle? Not today, girlfriend. Hell to the no.”

Today just sucked. She had left Lorenzo’s penthouse hours ago, fighting the tears in her eyes until she walked far enough and hailed a cab. Was she that bad at reading the signs?
Just because you want something to happen doesn’t mean it will
. Viola’s words rang in her years.
You can’t have everything.
“Shit. This is crazy.”

Her best friend reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, Alice. That is totally his loss.”

Yeah, he will be crying over me in his Central Park penthouse. For sure.
“Right.” She slurped her iced tea and wished it was hard liquor instead. Ordering alcohol in the middle of the day, when she had so many errands to run—including finding a new job—was a no-no.

Georgia toyed with her straw. “Although…don’t you think he has a point? As much as I would hate to see you move away, if he can guarantee that you will shake some hands and hone your craft while she’s at school…”

“I promised Dad I would watch over them. Besides, Rachel just tried to commit suicide because I was away for a weekend and she felt overwhelmed. Can you imagine if I move away for good?”

An apologetic smile tipped at Georgia’s lips. “You can’t live your life depending on your sister’s mood swings. That’s super generous but not fair.”

“I know, but especially after sleeping with him… Georgia, I can’t go back to being the nanny. That’s humiliating. I saw the damn man naked.”

Georgia winked. “You’re lucky. He reminds me of that hunk from True Blood.”

Alice threw a crouton at her. “Whatever. Brent is like a Greek god.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Georgia let out a dreamy sigh. “I’m so glad the girls are loving the idea.”

“See? I told you it would be okay,” Alice said, hinting at the time when her friend had been too proud to realize she could be a successful single mother and have a healthy relationship. Now Georgia had everything. And she totally deserved it.

“Why can’t you believe me when I give you the same advice?”

“Because Lorenzo is not Brent. He sees me as a nanny, as a woman he slept with. He doesn’t see me as a girlfriend, let alone wife material.”

Georgia tossed her brown hair her to the side. “Maybe it’s just a matter of time. Some guys need more help in that department.”

“I can’t risk leaving my family behind in the hope that one day he will feel the same. What is up with me? I end up falling for guys who want nothing to do with commitment.”

Georgia glanced around them before leaning forward into the table, as if she was about to spill some dirty secret or share a nugget of knowledge. “Maybe that’s what you want.”

A nugget of knowledge it is.
“Excuse me?”

“Well, have you ever wondered what would happen if a relationship like that did work? Even if you lived in town, I would feel bad for the guy. With your family bugging you the way they do, it wouldn’t last long. No guy would put up with your pushover attitude. Your mom has a blood pressure monitor. She’s a trained nurse. She shouldn’t need your help all the time.”

Alice took a swig of tea. She had a point, didn’t she? Even before her mother started to have high blood pressure, and well before the ulcer, Alice was the one dropping off and picking up Brenda from school a couple times a week, taking her to dance lessons, and running all sorts of errands for her mother. And Rachel’s shenanigans kept everyone busy at least once a month. “Jeez.”

“I’m just saying. If you don’t put yourself first, no one else will. Did you pay the loan shark?”

“Yep. I called and met him at the parking garage next to the hospital. I wanted to get it over with, and I figured they have cameras there if he wanted to slice my throat or something. You never know,” she said, hoping she could bleach from her memory the sight of Buck greeting her with a stupid grin as he leaned against his Cadillac.

Georgia shook her head. “You are either too brave or too stupid. Jesus, Alice.” She fiddled with her necklace and spoke in that honorary older sister tone, “Something bad could have happened. I assume, by looking at your throat, it went okay?”

Alice waved it off. “Yup. All he wanted was money. He got it. He’ll leave us alone,” she said. That part had been easier than anything else—it sure beat wondering how she would overcome a heartache bigger than the
Titanic
.

“A
re you sure you can’t come with us to New York, Alice?” Cara made a sad puppy face that was nearly impossible to resist. Almost.

“No, kiddo, but I promise we can FaceTime whenever you want.” Alice managed to sound casual, and to swallow the lump burning in her throat.
Keep it together, Alice.

At least she hadn’t been in the room when Lorenzo told Cara about their moving to New York. That would have been far too painful. Two days had passed, and today was her first day back at work. It was also when Lorenzo decided to take Cara with him on his next trip—to get her used to the city she would live in. They would set up private school tours, and she could buy some furniture for her new bedroom.

Meanwhile, Alice helped Cara pack in her Austin bedroom. She glanced around the enormous room, the walls colored in pale pink. Barbie dolls fought for space with games and books. Beads of colorful jewelry they loved to craft together spilled from the half-opened drawers.

“Will you visit us?” Cara asked, and Alice could hear the uncertainty dripping from the little girl’s voice. God, she hated this. Should she lie? Lying had gotten her in this mess. “Pretty please?”

“I’ll do my best to convince her,” Lorenzo said.

Alice’s gaze darted to the door, and there he was. To be fair, the pain in his eyes seemed worse than that in Cara’s. Because he knew his child would miss her. Not because
he
would miss her. That was pretty clear.

“Good. Daddy always gets what he wants.” Cara chuckled and high-fived her father.

When he wants.
“Yes, he does.” Alice forced a smile.

“Go clean up your desk, Cara. We’ll be leaving in less than an hour.”

“Okay, Dad,” Cara said, a lot less enthusiastic than a few seconds before. She moved to the office space she shared with her father. It had been sweet of him to allow Cara to bring her Monster High-themed desk to his austere working area.

How could he be such a great father and a selfish never-to-be-future-boyfriend material? Well, at least he aced the fake fiancé role.

“What are you thinking?” He walked up to her, but she didn’t dare remain that close. She stepped back but lifted her shoulders for good measure.

“Checking my mental to-do list. Nothing grand.”
Become a nun, or join a religious sect that requires no small-talk dating crap and fast tracking straight into a committed relationship. Or maybe avoid men altogether.
“Have you heard on the paintings?”

“Yes. I got them,” he said in a low voice, and she knew why. That subject lurked around them like black smoke. Wasn’t this craving for his father’s work what set all the wheels in motion? She parted her mouth but hesitated.

The slow smile that broke his lips hinted he knew she was far from pondering something so frivolous. “How’s your sister?”

“She went to that psychiatric clinic you arranged. Thanks, by the way.” Her mother had raved over the modern and wonderfully reviewed clinic that accepted her sister for an in-depth assessment. Alice had taken her sister the day before, and she had been pleased with the friendly staff and caring doctors.

“That was the least I could do. The doctor said she’ll be home as soon as she’s stable. It can be in a few days’ time.”

“Yeah, I know.” She hated how short she sounded, but his arranging for her sister to go to a better clinic behind her back had been one thing. Now, chatting with him like they were old pals? He probably did that from a guilty conscience.

Her cheeks warmed, the same way they did every time she remembered what she had told him.
I love you.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid.

“I
s that Central Park?” Cara pointed from their living room.

Lorenzo barely glanced at the floor-to-ceiling glass wall and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Amazing. My friends will die when I tell them. Although…I guess they won’t get to see it.” Cara rubbed her eyes, like she was trying to keep from crying.

He kneeled to her level and rubbed her chin. “You’ll make new friends, my princess. And they will be just as impressed by you.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She shrugged. “It’s just different. I miss…Alice.”

Me, too.
Too much if he was able to admit it to himself. They had been in New York for five days, and even though he should have been busy every minute of the day, the damn woman found a way to slip into his mind when least expected.

She sipped her chocolate milk. “You wanna hear something funny? I always secretly hoped you two would get together. You and Alice.”

“Really? Why?”

She shrugged, her eyes still glued to the panoramic view of the stretch of trees ahead of them. “I don’t know. I guess because you’re lonely, and she would be a good fit for our family.”

“No one will ever replace your mother. You know that, right? She loved you very much.” He ruffled her hair. Maybe one day, when his daughter was older, he’d share with her about Kristin’s addiction as a cautionary tale. Until then, he had no right to shred Cara’s immaculate memories of her mother.

She turned to him, and the sweetest smile spread across her face. Yes, he had messed up a lot in life. But Cara was his redemption. “Yes, Dad. I miss Mom, too. My friends have blended families. You don’t have to worry.”

He drew back. “When did you become this mature? If it has anything to do with that camp, I must give them a considerable donation.”

She chuckled. “You’re funny.”

Funny? He didn’t feel the least bit funny. He chugged the rest of his coffee, now cold and stale. The housekeeper hadn’t come from Austin, and he had interviewed two candidates for the task.

The doorbell rang, and he set the coffee to the side and headed to the door. It was Mildred, the fifth nanny he would interview in the last few days. In a matter of seconds, a woman with dark blond hair and almost as tall as he materialized in front of him. She flashed him a smile and started to make eye contact with Cara immediately. Cara waved back, but he decided to take her to the office, like the others. Interviewing them first was a better approach to make sure Cara’s vote didn’t let him make the wrong decision.

“You have worked as a nanny before?” He held her resume without really reading it. She had on a plaid conservative dress and the type of perfect makeup women wore for important business meetings: a touch of color on the lips and eyes, but very tame. Good.

“Yes, for eight years. I’ve attached my recommendation letter.”

“You don’t have an issue with occasionally sleeping here? When I’m out of town?” he asked, even though he hoped he wouldn’t have to leave often.

“Not at all. I live with roommates, and trust me, we all need a break from time to time.”

“Do you like birds?”

She frowned, leaning forward. “Birds? Yes. I have a cat. But birds…are nice, too.”

He leaned in his chair and toyed with his pen. They had brought Nibbles with them, although, seeing the bird without Alice chilled his blood. Hell, seeing his apartment without her was strange. Even though she had never set foot in his New York place, at times he imagined her there with him. The brutally honest comments that would fly from her lips. Her body, naked and warm in his outrageously big bed.

“Mr. Baldi?” Mildred called him.

Shaking his head, he repositioned himself in the chair. “Sorry. I’ve been distracted lately.”

“Did Cara have a nanny before? In Texas?”

“Yes. She did.”

“She couldn’t come along? I know it’s always hard to fill someone’s shoes, but I’m confident…” He tuned her out, her New Jersey accent background noise.

This potential nanny seemed nice enough. Why was Alice so difficult to replace?

Because he wasn’t just searching for a nanny, and damn it, he knew it. Why was it that hard to admit? Truth be told, he never searched for anything she offered him besides her childcare skills. Her warm smile, her witty comebacks, the way she cared for everyone around her like that was her mission—that was all Alice.

He loved the zingy energy she brought to his life. He loved the way her skin tasted of magnolia and vanilla. He loved how she came again and again under his touch. He loved her hearty laughter filling up the room.

He loved…Alice.

Lorenzo surged to his feet, restless. His heart slammed against his rib cage.

“Sir?” the woman asked, drawing her eyebrows together. “I’m sorry? Is everything okay?”

He blinked a couple of times. No. Everything was not okay. It sucked without Alice, and he was so tired of trying to tell himself otherwise. “I’m sorry. Can we continue this interview when I come back from my trip?”

She offered him a surprised smile. Did she suspect he wasn’t paying attention before? “Sure. Where are you going?”

He stretched to his full height. “I’m going to get what I want.”

“I
need to talk to Alice, please,” he said when her mother opened the door. After the three-hour flight, he didn’t want to waste any more time. He figured in-person would be best. Things like this couldn’t be discussed over the phone.