But instead of feeling relieved at the thought, Jillian felt almost disappointed. Why did she have to feel so torn? On one hand, she wanted only to run from the room, and on the other, she longed to go to Mac and share her heart. Was this what falling in love was all about?
Determined not to give it a second thought, Jillian picked up her pace and made her way to Mac. However, she didn't see the errant piece of lettuce, which had doubtlessly been dropped by one of the luncheon diners. Stepping down on the slippery piece, Jillian felt her foot begin to slide forward in an uncontrollable manner. Struggling to right herself, she whipped around and tried to regain her footing, but it was too late. Mac saw her dilemma and only made matters worse by reaching out to steady her. In a flash that could only be described as sheer disaster, Jillian felt Mac's firm grip on her as her feet went completely out from under her. Without any further ado, she landed squarely on his lap as the plate rained its contents down the front of both of them.
Mac began laughing uncontrollably, while Jillian sat in stunned silence. So much for being inconspicuous. She saw the red beets dripping down the front of her apron, then raised her gaze to Mac's laughing face, where creamed peas oozed down the side of his cheek. His laughter became contagious as Kate and some of the other girls began to laugh, and Jillian herself could no longer keep a straight face as pieces of beef picante began to slide down Mac's forehead.
Not thinking of the inappropriateness of remaining on Mac's lap, Jillian began to giggle and then to laugh until finally tears were in her eyes and she was edging close to hysteria. What a scene. She had truly outdone herself this time.
She didn't think about what she was doing as her hand went up to Mac's face. She began wiping creamed peas from his cheek, her fingers lingering on his clean-shaven skin. Tracing down along the lines of the sauce, she touched the edge of his laughing mouth and trembled. And for a reason that baffled her, Mac trembled too, and then stopped laughing. She grew sober, not at all sure what was happening.
Mac's blue eyes seemed to darken as they held her gaze. For a moment, Jillian could have sworn he was going to say something important. But before he could speak, Gwen interrupted.
“Miss Danvers, what in the world has happened here?”
It was only then that Jillian realized the intimacy of the moment. She quickly slid off of Mac's lap and stood up. Her uniform was covered in food.
“I slipped on something and, well, Dr. MacCallister tried to help me. . . .” She let the words trail off as the laughter from her fellow co-workers began to increase. Glancing around, she could see that Zack Matthews was laughing as well.
Gwen didn't need any more encouragement than this before she began to smile. “Oh, Judith. Go change.”
Jillian nodded, then against her will she looked back at Mac. “I'm sorry,” she whispered.
He shook his head and very seriously replied, “Don't be.”
Kate and Louisa followed her upstairs, both still laughing at the incident. As Jillian undressed, Louisa poured water in a bowl while Kate beat any wildlife from Jillian's clean uniforms.
“Thank you for your help,” Jillian said in complete defeat. She didn't understand Mac's serious tone, and she couldn't figure out what was happening to her heart.
Standing there in nothing more than her undergarments, Jillian felt tears come to her eyes, suddenly overwhelmed.
I don't know what
to do to feel right again. Nothing seems to make sense
. She didn't understand why a simple mistake should make her feel so bad, but it did.
“They say confession is good for the soul,” Kate told her as she brought a black shirtwaist. “Perhaps if ya offered some confession to us, we could help.”
Louisa brought the basin to Jillian and nodded. “We don't want to see you hurt.”
Jillian looked at her roommates for a moment, then suddenly realized they knew. They knew she wasn't Judith but had kept it to themselves anyway.
“I'm Judith's sister, Jillian,” she said softly.
Kate nodded. “We know.”
“I don't know exactly how you figured it out, but frankly, I'm glad. No, I'm relieved. The only other person who knows is Mac, and it's beginning to take its toll on me,” Jillian said, plopping onto her bed.
“So where is Judith?” Louisa asked matter-of-factly.
“She eloped with her childhood sweetheart,” Jillian admitted.
“Good for her,” Kate said, taking up the washcloth from the basin. “Here, ya best clean up before ya dress.” She handed Jillian the cloth, then asked, “So why did ya come here, Jillian?”
“Judith asked me to. She begged me to come in her place until her contract was up. She said she would lose half her back wages if she didn't complete the contract and stay until June. But she was so in love and she didn't want to give up Martin. So I agreed to come in her place.”
“Does yar family know?”
Jillian wiped her face and nodded. “Yes. They were none too happy about it, but my father is a businessman of some means. He realized the logic in letting things ride. Otherwise, I feared he might well come storming into Pintan to drag me home.”
“Well, it's glad I am that he didn't,” Kate said with a smile. “Yar sister was a wild card, but we loved her dearly and now we love you just the same.”
“Yes,” Louisa said with a smile. “You and Judith are just alike.”
“Not really,” Jillian replied. “I've been trying hard to be like Judith, but honestly, I don't have her flair for adventure.”
“Nonsense!” Kate declared. “Ya wouldn't be here if ya didn't.”
“I'm here for Judith's sake,” Jillian replied. “I didn't really want to come, but I've always wanted to please Judith.”
“Well, whatever the reason, you're here now,” Louisa replied. She held the basin out in order for Jillian to rinse the cloth.
“And ya still have a few short weeks left on your contract,” Kate replied. “So we'll help ya keep yar secret and do what we can to make the time a bit easier on yarself.”
“No, don't do me special favors,” Jillian replied. “I need to pull my weight and do my job, the same as you.”
“But we were trained for the job,” Kate stated. “Yar doing a great job considering that ya've not had the training. Ya should have seen me in my first three months. I liked to have killed myself and nearly every diner who bore the misfortune of crossin' me path. There was no one more disorganized than meself.” Kate's infectious grin caused Jillian to smile. “There, that's better,” Kate said. “Now let's get ya dressed and back on the floor. I'm sure Dr. Mac would like to see if ya can find some other way to land in his lap again.”
Jillian felt herself blush, and the look Kate and Louisa shared didn't help.
“He's as crazy for yarself as ya are for him,” Kate said with a shrug. “No sense in denyin' it.”
Jillian shook her head. “You shouldn't talk about such things.”
“Why not? They're true enough.”
Jillian put the cloth in the basin and took the blouse Kate offered. Her gaze locked on the Irishwoman's. “I don't think it is true. I think Mac just finds me amusing because of the situation. I've heard it said that he had his heart broken once before and has no interest in becoming involved with any woman, so I think it's best just to forget it. I think we'll all be happier that way. After all, I'll be leaving for Kansas City in a few weeks.”
“Oh, will ya, now,” Kate replied with a devilish grin.
Jillian nodded. “Yes. I will.”
In the quiet stillness of her little house, Mary Barnes finished her accounting of the Navajo's money and goods and put down her pencil. She had managed to make a tidy sum for the Navajo, and while the money wouldn't begin to stretch far enough to make life really comfortable, it would ease things a bit.
A noise from the far side of the room caught her attention. Little Sister stood awkwardly and admired her finished blanket.
“And you worried that you wouldn't have it done in time. Looks like you did yourself proud,” Mary said, going to where Little Sister stood.
“The baby will wait just a little longer,” she told Mary, her hand going automatically to her swollen abdomen. “She's not ready to be born.”
“So you're sure it's a girl, eh? Well, time will tell,” Mary teased. She could see the seriousness in Little Sister's expression, however, and sobered. “Try not to worry about the future. Remember what I told you. You can stay here for as long as all time, if necessary. You're safe here.”
“But I'm not with my people,” Little Sister said sadly.
Mary nodded. “I know you miss them. I've tried to talk to that brother of yours, but he won't listen to reason.”
“He is very proud,” Little Sister replied. “He thinks I have taken a white man to my bed. He thinks I'm like the others.”
“Those women were just as misguided as some of the white women in town,” Mary said, trying to reassure Little Sister. “Mr. Cooper is not an honorable man. I've written letters to our government, and hopefully they will take care of everythingâput things back to right.”
“They cannot take care of this,” Little Sister said, patting her stomach. She looked up to meet Mary's watchful eyes. There were tears in her eyes as she added, “Your government cannot make my people know the truth.”
“God knows the truth, Little Sister,” Mary assured, switching easily to the Navajo language. “God knows. And believe me, He isn't happy about it either.”
Mary watched the pregnant girl head outside and said a silent prayer for the child, then asked God to forgive the rage in her own heart. Cooper deserved to hang for what he'd done, especially given his unwillingness to admit to any wrongdoing. Still, Mary prayed to be able to forgive him and overlook his actions.
“âFor all have sinned,”' she reminded herself.
It was late, almost dark, when Little Sister came in for supper. She had fetched some water in a large jar and went about the task of refilling the jars and jugs that held the legs to the two small beds where she and Mary slept.
“Don't worry over that now,” Mary chided. “Come have some stew while it's hot.”
“I'm not hungry,” the Navajo girl said in a weak voice.
Mary instantly noted her tone and left the task of stirring the stew. “Little Sister, are you feelin' all right?”
The girl straightened and shook her head. “I think I am sick. My head hurts.”
Mary reached out to touch her flushed face. “You have a fever. We'd best get you to bed. No tellin' what you might have caught.”
Little Sister nodded. “I finish here first.”
“No, come on.” Mary took the water jar from her hands and set it to one side. “Let's get you into your nightgown and then to bed. I'll bring you some broth.” She helped Little Sister take off her oversized tunic and drawstring skirt, then brought a clean fresh gown.
Snapping it out several times, Mary helped Little Sister slip it over her head. Mary pulled it down over the young woman's protruding belly just as Little Sister began to sway.
Whipping back the covers with one hand and steadying Little Sister with the other, Mary quickly tucked the girl into bed, then stood back in concern. What manner of illness had overcome the girl? Just hours before, she had been perfectly well, and now she appeared as though she were seriously ill. Mary shook her head and went back to the kitchen, a silent prayer on her lips.
SEVERAL DAYS PASSED without Jillian catching so much as a single glimpse of Mac. She figured she had offended him somehow, but for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. It wasn't like Mac to be put off by a simple little accident. And he had laughed. At least at first.
Unable to make sense of it, Jillian swallowed her pride and decided to seek him out and make sure he knew how sorry she was for dumping food all over him.
Pintan was in its lazy, sleepy state of afternoon as she crossed over to Mac's side of the street. A warm breeze blew across the sandy dirt road, stirring up tiny bits that swirled into dust devils and danced down the street. Thick moody clouds draped the skies overhead, and Jillian couldn't help but wonder if they would be fortunate enough to get some rain. The thought only held her interest momentarily as Mac's placard came into view.
She felt a nervous tingle originate somewhere near the nape of her neck and spread down through her back and into her fingers and toes. The idea of seeing Mac gave her a sensation of excitement that she couldn't begin to deny. Her feelings and emotions were genuine and true, and they ran deep within her. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
But by the time she questioned the good sense of coming to
Mac's, she was already knocking on his door.
Mac opened quickly and stared at her for a moment before questioning, “What have you done to yourself this time?”
The first words that sprang to mind were
I've fallen in love
. But of course she didn't say that. Instead, she shrugged. “I'm not here for medical attention. I just felt bad for what I did to you the other day. I haven't seen you since, and I figured I ran you off from the Harvey House with my clumsiness.”
Jillian didn't understand the expression on Mac's face. It seemed to change from one of general amusement to something akin to pain. She hurried to speak, almost fearful of what he might say if she gave him a chance to talk.
“I know it was stupid of me. I didn't see the mess on the floor, and I know you were just trying to keep me from being hurt. I hope you aren't mad at me.”
She knew she sounded almost desperate, but the thought of his anger or disappointment in her caused her to ramble.
“I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want me to ever wait on you again. I can arrange that, you know. Kate and Louisa are very understanding, and they'd be happy to help me out. I just don't want you to think you can't come to the Harvey House without fearing I'll bombard you with food.”