Authors: Leah Clifford
Tags: #Social Issues, #Love & Romance, #Eschatology, #Angels & Spirit Guides, #Body; Mind & Spirit, #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #Fiction, #Religion, #Horror & Ghost Stories, #Angels, #Dead, #Future life, #General, #Religious, #Demonology, #Death & Dying
“And what about you? What do you do?”
“Not that.”
“You don’t seem like the type to care. I mean, you gave her too much Touch and it made her crash.” Kristen’s head snapped up, the movement so sudden that Eden jumped.
“I did nothing of the sort. I didn’t lay a finger on her.”
“So what happened to her?” Eden asked. The line in front of them had run through. Kristen closed the gap, kneeling down in front of the coffin. Eden copied her, glancing around uncomfortably.
“Obituary said car accident.” Kristen fell silent, her lips moving in prayer.
Eden stared at the girl, found herself feeling sad for all the plans she’d put off for “maybe someday” that had died with her. There was a makeup line just below her ear, the hideous purple of a bruise showing through.
Kristen rose from her knees. Eden followed when she backtracked past the people lined up behind them and toward the front door. Paul opened it for them. Kristen shot him a wink before traipsing down the stairs at the end of the walk, heading back toward her home.
“What was the point? Paying your last respects?”
Kristen dug for the silver case again, lighting another clove.
“If we’re going to spend our day with these little girl chats, Eden, do learn to pay more attention. Her family has a crypt. Yes, they’re usually easy to get into, but I still like to check out the merchandise before I expend the energy.” She exhaled another cloud of smoke. It drifted into Eden’s path. “Jewelry was costume. Dress was hardly noteworthy. Black cocktail is so cliché. I just saved myself the trouble of finding out the hard way. As I said, research pays.”
Eden’s head twisted as she reassessed Kristen’s dress, the antique rings adorning her fingers. “You’re telling me you rob graves?”
“Nine times out of ten, the dead wear designer, and I’m on a budget.” She rolled her eyes at Eden’s hanging jaw. “Oh, honestly. I wash them.”
“You’re insane!”
“And you’re boring. You sounded much more interesting when Gabe was begging for my help.”
Eden shifted out of the path of the smoke blowing in her direction, didn’t give Kristen the satisfaction of a cough.
“How is Gabe even friends with you? How do you know him?”
“You really want to know?” Kristen kept her eyes
ahead, threading her fingers through her hair. She hesitated. “I guess I can bore you with a history lesson. There were no others when I became a Sider, at least not that I knew.” Kristen toyed with one of her rings. “Unlike you, I woke up on a park bench, not in a bed. Vodka and pills. I assumed it hadn’t been enough, figured it would be best to head home and face my father’s wrath.” Kristen’s gaze had gone far off. “It was an office, my room. It hadn’t been an office when I’d left a few hours before. None of my notebooks, no school portraits. Like I never existed. I thought he was trying to scare me for breaking curfew. For a long time, I thought it was just an amazingly creative way of kicking me out. Truth was, I don’t exist to them. They have no memory of me.” Her fingers trailed along the shrubs lining the sidewalk, separating the manicured yards from the street. “Now you understand why I wasn’t willing to show you to a phone last night.”
Eden’s voice came out a whisper. “Did Gabe forget about me? Is that why he hasn’t come?”
“Mortals forget us because we’re not part of their path. We don’t have one. Neither do angels. He remembers you just fine.” Kristen dropped the clove, crushed it with her next step. “I found a cemetery, slept on a pew in its chapel. I had to figure out for myself that I felt better when I touched people. I wasn’t doing so well in those days. Reality and I had a bit of a tiff. I ended up living in
that chapel for two years.” A wistful smile hinted at her lips. “Two years of utter hell, ended, when they walked through the door.”
“They? I thought you said it was Gabe?”
“Your little deviant was with him, of course.” She glanced down at her hand as if wishing for the cigarette to still be there. “I tried to hit them up with Touch.” Eden’s jaw dropped. “Oh, relax. Angels are immune to fingertips.” She swallowed hard. “Gabe told me he knew of others, though I was the first of our kind he spoke to. He fixed things for me.”
They turned up the walkway to Kristen’s house. Kristen jangled her keys as she walked through the door and Sebastian appeared like Pavlov’s dog. “I don’t do well with debt. I’ve owed Gabriel too much for too long, but he broke the bank with you, sweet pea.”
Eden tried to keep the pleading from her voice. “I don’t understand what I’m doing here.”
“I gave him my word that I would teach you what I know, as little as it is. You will have a roof over your head, food, anything you need. I’ll do what I can to keep you safe.”
“And then what?” Eden asked.
Kristen smiled. “Why, Eden. If I told you, it’d spoil the surprise.”
E
den wiggled her fingers, the gloves on her hands too tight, the material sticky with sweat. She hadn’t wanted to wear them, but Kristen insisted. The subway was packed. Kristen hadn’t said where they were going. She sat silent next to Eden, her eyes closed, hands gloved and folded in her lap.
Another day, another dress
, Eden thought.
The train lurched around a curve and Kristen’s eyes snapped open.
“Next stop, we get off.”
Eden spun one of the rings she wore. “So, what will it feel like? Passing Touch?”
Kristen turned toward her. “Intensely painful. Think root canal with no anesthesia.” Eden’s eyes widened. Kristen snorted. “Relax. You’ll feel a release. It’s quite pleasurable. Then a bit of relief from the tension you’re feeling.”
“But I don’t feel any—”
Kristen stood, cutting her off as the train screeched into the station. “Don’t leave my side. Madeline gave me her word she wouldn’t tell the Fallen you exist, but we’re not as close as we once were. I don’t trust her. She might decide spilling a secret as large as yours would be worth the damage I’d inflict.”
Eden hurried alongside her, trying to keep pace. For not wanting to lose her, Kristen sure as hell seemed on a mission to do just that. “You used to be friends with her? What, were you two fighting over boys?” Eden asked sarcastically, trying not to show Kristen how winded she was from the run up the stairs.
Kristen slowed as they reached street level, turning to stare at her. “Who said that?”
Eden smirked at her unintentional strike. “No one. You used to be friends with her. You’re not anymore. That usually means there’s a guy involved, unless you were after Madeline herself.”
A sudden laugh burst out of Kristen. She skirted around a vendor on the sidewalk. The smell of relish hung in the air, mixing with exhaust. “Madeline! God, I could never date her, even if I went that way. She’d drive me insane. And yes.” Kristen stopped at the corner, waiting for the crosswalk. “There was a guy, though not how you’d suspect.”
“What happened?” Eden asked, glad for the chance to
finally catch her breath. The light changed. They followed the stream of pedestrians, crossing the street.
Kristen held up her hand, the fingers splayed. “Five of us, originally. Gabe told me where to find them. I introduced myself, suggested we’d do better if we pooled our resources, compared notes on what we knew. Only Madeline and Erin agreed. Watch your step,” Kristen said, leaping over a pothole full of slimy water and cigarette butts.
“So you lived together?” Eden skirted around the hole.
“As you saw yesterday, suffering brings people together. We’d each thought we were the only Sider. You’ll never know what that’s like.” Kristen gave her a once-over as they turned a corner, passing a bookstore. “Then, suddenly, we were a triad. We learned quickly to trust each other. I was naïve enough to believe our bond was unbreakable. I was wrong.”
Kristen fell silent, leading them across another street.
It took a few minutes before Eden realized their wandering wasn’t random. They were following someone. A guy, his yellow shirt standing out enough that she noticed it.
“Remove your gloves,” Kristen said. Eden’s heart quickened. She slipped the gloves off, stuffing them into her pocket. They stayed directly behind him, Kristen creeping closer when he brought a cell phone to his ear.
As his conversation ended, she dropped back a few paces, turning to Eden.
“Are you ready?” Kristen asked.
This is it
, Eden thought. “Were you listening to him?” Eden shook her head. Kristen didn’t hide her disappointment. “He told whoever he was talking to that he got it, that things were looking up.”
“It what?”
Kristen gave her head a slight shake. “Doesn’t matter. From the tone of his voice, things are going his way. This is how we chose our mark, Eden. Observations like these. It’s not fail-safe, but we do what we can. When you dose him, it’s likely he’ll take the Touch well. Perhaps we’re helping him celebrate. I want you to speed up. As you pass him, make sure your fingers make skin contact. Understood?” Eden swallowed the sudden knot in her throat, nodding. They turned a corner, heading down a side street. “Now,” Kristen whispered.
Eden forced her feet faster, kept her eyes on the guy’s hand, swinging at his side. She drew up alongside him, counting down in her head. Her hand drifted away from her side. She felt his knuckles graze hers, turned her hand. Her heart hammered as her fingers slid across his.
A current surged through her, a glow marking where her fingertips made contact. Eden gasped, her breath catching at the pleasure as the Touch left her. The guy
sidestepped, looked down, and then glanced up at her in confusion. Eden smiled an apology.
“I thought you were someone else.” He nodded, speeding up again.
Eden slowed.
“Well? How was it?” Kristen asked.
“It…it felt good.”
“Of course it did,” Kristen scoffed. “You saw the glow, right? And your anxiety dropped when it passed?”
Anxiety?
Eden thought.
Maybe I missed that.
She nodded, unsure. That couldn’t be all there was to passing Touch. No way.
Kristen ducked into a deli, sending a jangle from the bell on the door. The counter was busy, a long line of people snaking through a smattering of occupied tables. At one a couple stood, gathering their wrappers and empty cups as they prepared to leave. Kristen smiled at them.
“We’ll get rid of that for you if you’ll bequeath us your table.” Behind Kristen, Eden tensed.
She’s going to do it
, she thought as Kristen slipped off her gloves. Instead, Kristen sunk into a chair. “Thank you!” she called sweetly as the couple abandoned their table and trash to her.
Eden caught a snickered, “Freak” as the guy threw an arm around his companion, before he leaned in to add, “What the fuck does ‘bequeath’ mean?”
At the table, Kristen’s eyes shot skyward. She blew out
an angry breath, her bangs lifting in its wake. “Sit, Eden,” she demanded.
Eden picked up a clean-looking napkin from the mess and swiped a splotch of ketchup from the tabletop. “You couldn’t even let them take their garbage? I thought you were going to hit them with the stuff,” she said. She plopped down opposite Kristen.
“One, I have reasons behind my behavior, always, and questioning them makes you look foolish,” Kristen said, her voice quietly dangerous. “If we were sitting at a clean table, we’d be bothered. Two, I barely spoke to them. I didn’t pick up enough to be sure they could handle”—she paused to smirk, raising her fingers in air quotes—“the stuff, as you so eloquently put it. Passing Touch shouldn’t be done without consideration for the victim. Their life is in your hands, Eden. Quite literally.”
Eden’s eyes flashed up to the door as the couple exited, the gravity of Touch hitting her. “I don’t want to kill anyone.”
Kristen smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. Madeline disagrees with me on that point.”
“She
wants
to kill people? Why?”
The smile faded from Kristen’s lips. “Madeline feels if she crosses paths with a mortal, their destiny is to die if she wills it.”
Kristen played with an empty straw wrapper, crunching
it into a tight ball. “I knew Gabriel’s secret, and that he was watching us. He’d warned me of the Fallen. All I wanted was for us to stay off their radar. But Madeline had grown accustomed to playing God.” Kristen’s attention shifted for a moment, her head tilting as she listened to a passing conversation between two girls. Eden tuned in. She could only catch snippets over the drone of the deli: “thought I’d marry him,” and “ten days before,” and “what am I going to do.”
Kristen frowned, lowered her voice to a whisper. “Girl A just got broken up with. A dose of Touch would easily be enough to send her over the edge. Maddy would have been all over that one.” She straightened, meeting Eden’s gaze. “You said a guy came between Madeline and me. That guy was Gabriel. I do my best to spare the mortals, not affect their paths, the way he taught me. Madeline…” She hesitated, her brow wrinkling. “She chose other alliances. Erin didn’t want to split up the group, but Madeline laid down an ultimatum. Me or her. Bound or Fallen. Erin refused to pick sides. I’ve hardly spoken to her since.”
“I don’t get it,” Eden said. “She wouldn’t pick, so you stopped being her friend?”
“Madeline made a decision, albeit a bad one. She weighed her options and she chose. I respect that. And she respects me for the same reasons. Occasionally, we still count on each other for favors, as I did when you failed
secret keeping one-oh-one. Though lately I’ve begun to wonder just how much to trust her.” Kristen dropped her eyes as if losing focus.
“What about Erin?” Eden asked.
Kristen raised her gaze, shrugged. “She and Madeline grew close again. Madeline’s standards for friendship aren’t as high as mine. To me, Erin faltered. I can’t abide by someone who hovers in the middle ground.” Eden shifted in her seat, Az’s face drifting into her head. “We’d already found a few other Siders by then. We were determined they’d be taught, kept in a group, not alone like we were. Without rules, discipline, everything falls apart. When we split, we let the new Siders choose who to go with. Sebastian left with me to the Bronx. Madeline to Queens. Erin to Manhattan,” Kristen finished.
Eden studied Kristen for a moment, gauging her mood before she asked her question. Finally, she dared. “You said there were five originals. What did you three do to the others?”
“Nothing.” Kristen looked confused. “They formed their groups on their own. The boroughs are natural territory lines to which we’ve all agreed. They’d moved into the empty spots in Brooklyn and Staten Island. They’re no threat, so I don’t bother with them.” Kristen let out a laugh. “What, did you think we locked them up or something? Siders are immortal, Eden. Sure, there’s
torture, but without a purpose, it gets tiring rather quickly.”
Screamers
, Eden thought. “But you said ‘they’re no threat,’ which implies Madeline and Erin are.”
“Brilliant deduction.” Kristen smacked the table with her hand, amusement dancing across her eyes as she pointed at Eden. “Madeline and Erin know my secrets,” she said with a smile. “Fortunately, I know theirs.” Kristen stood. “That’s enough for today.”
Eden shadowed her back to the stairs and down to the subway platform, lost in her thoughts. Her existence would be spent gloved up, every morning spent trailing a mortal, her Touch changing their life.
She hadn’t been paying attention, startled as she tripped over the last stair. The smell of urine-soaked clothes retched a gag from her, hands clawing at her while she tried to catch her balance, pull away. Her fingers hit skin.
“You killed my baby!”
Eden jerked out of the woman’s grasp as the release hit, her brain fighting the pleasure with horror. She heard Kristen’s gasp. Managed to pull away.
I spread Touch to a baby!
her brain screamed.
I killed a baby?
The crowd pushed around the scene, a few eyes straying in their direction. She stepped back, her foot catching on something hard on the ground, sliding as it rolled beneath
her shoe. She fell, her tailbone striking the stained floor, a pang shooting up her spine. Tears sprung to her eyes.
What have I done?
She ignored the pain, getting to her feet, her twisted ankle throbbing as she took off up the stairs. Behind her, Kristen’s fading voice called her back. The woman’s scream kept her running.
I’m not going to kill people. This can’t be my life.
Panic froze her at the top of the stairs.
Just run
, she thought.
Get back to the hotel. Gabe could still be there. He’ll fix this.
She whipped her head back and forth, trying to decide on a direction.
Before she could, Kristen grabbed her wrist. “Gloves, Eden! Did I not tell you to wear your fucking gloves?”
Eden yanked away. “I kill a baby and you yell at me about gloves?”
Kristen stared at her. “Baby? What baby?”
Eden faltered. “She said I killed her baby. I felt the Touch pass, Kristen.”
“Eden,” Kristen said gently. “Touch takes time to have any effect. How could you have killed
anyone
yet? Did you forget?”
“But.” She paused. “The baby…”
“You didn’t see?” Eden shook her head. “It was a doll, Eden. The arm broke off when she dropped it. That’s what you tripped over.” Kristen’s jaw went hard at the
relief in Eden’s face. “Oh, so her life is worth less because she’s unwell?”
“No,” Eden argued, the rage in Kristen’s eyes catching her off guard.
“Nice to know your standards, Eden,” Kristen snarled. “You passed her Touch, as if her mind weren’t tortured enough! You’ve doomed her, Eden.”
“I don’t want this!” Eden screamed into Kristen’s face, her hands rigid at her sides. “I never asked for
any
of this!”
“You’re a spoiled brat, Eden.” Kristen stared her down. “You wanted Az and happiness and fairy tales and forevers. You’re handed your forever and what do you do? You spit on it!”
“I wanted to
die
! I would never choose this!”
Kristen’s look was level. “No one gets to choose, Eden. We spread Touch because we must. The best we can do is choose
who
we pass it to, bend Touch to our will. Take what little control we can.” Kristen spun away, heading back down the stairs to the train. “And put on your goddamned gloves.”