Authors: Lois Richer
“That must have been horrible.”
“Yes, it was. Partly it was the uncertainty. Partly it was the awful embarrassment of not being able to answer people’s questions. Then I found out my father had another family, another daughter. I wasn’t enough for him. When it happened with Steve, I felt betrayed all over again.”
“And it’s hard not to think that it could happen again, if you trusted someone again. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “My brain knows not everyone is like them. But my heart is bruised and battered. I’m not ready to trust again. I’ve still got one hand hanging onto the safety net and I can’t let go.”
“Sure you can. But that’s not something you’re going to believe just because I said it. It’s something you’re going to have to do yourself, trust yourself enough to judge whether you can put your faith in anyone else.” He smoothed the pads of his thumbs down her cheeks, cupped her jaw so she had to look at him. “But whether you believe it or not, you can trust God, Chloe. Always.”
“Mom?” Kyle stood, watching them, a slight frown marring his expression as Brendan removed his hands.
“Yes, sweetie?”
“Quinn liked my idea of moving your exercise machines out of the living room to downstairs and making it kind of like a gym. That’s okay, isn’t it? I mean it’s not like you use them a lot and if they were downstairs I could use them as part of my training.”
Training? Kyle? Chloe blinked, hoping her skepticism didn’t show. “I guess it’s all right.”
“All right! Come on, Quinn. Let’s figure out how we’ll do this.” Brendan moved aside and Kyle fled upstairs as if scalded. Quinn didn’t leave quite so fast, his attention lingering on Chloe and his brother.
“You really don’t mind if we shift things around?” he asked.
“Truthfully? Some nights after a particularly grueling day, I can’t sleep so I turn on the television. When those infomer
cials come on, I’ve usually just downed a big bowl of cherry cheesecake ice cream and I’m feeling guilty, so when they advertise getting in shape I fall for it.” Her cheeks burned but she pressed on. “The machines arrive, I set them up, but I’m usually so tired by the time I get off work that I throw my coat over them just so I don’t have to be reminded of how much money I blew.”
Quinn chuckled. “The advertisers do know their markets. But if you don’t mind my saying, I don’t think you’re suffering from any overindulgences. You’re a beautiful woman, Chloe.” He nodded at Brendan, then ducked past him and took the stairs two at a time.
“My brother has good taste.” Brendan laughed when she rolled her eyes. “Come on. Quinn will need a hand and I’m sure you want to supervise.”
But when they were upstairs, Chloe changed her mind. “Actually, I’m happy to leave the moving up to you. I’d much prefer to catch forty winks. I’m on days tomorrow and the switch always seems to wear me out.”
Brendan’s fingertips feathered the area under her eyes where she knew dark circles lay. “Get some rest, lovely Chloe,” he whispered. “The Montgomery boys will make sure everything is okay.”
“Thanks,” she whispered as she drew away, wondering why he’d done that. Because he felt sorry for her? She turned tail and fled up the stairs where sleep was a long time coming, and even then it didn’t wipe out the memory of those gorgeous green eyes that promised security.
Tuesday night Brendan sat in front of the fire in the family room, fiddling with a puzzle piece and watching the flames dance across Madison’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asked after a long sniffling silence.
“Nothing.” She blew her nose, wiped back her curls and sighed. “Okay, that’s not true. It’s my dad. We were busy out
side this afternoon putting up those decorations so I guess Kyle hasn’t remembered. Yet.”
“Remembered what?”
“My dad was supposed to come over this afternoon. I overheard Kyle talking to him yesterday. He was all excited about something Dad said.”
Darcy had told him about the phone call, which is why Brendan had kept the kids busy while Chloe slept. “I’m sorry, Maddy.” Brendan wished he could get five minutes alone with Steve Tanner.
“It’s okay. For me, I mean. He was never around much when we lived with him, not that I can remember anyway. But Kyle is different. He has these dreams of them doing stuff together and he keeps getting disappointed. Then he gets mad and yells at Mom. I don’t like when he does that.”
Neither do I
. Brendan looked at the situation from the children’s perspective, recognizing how disappointed Kyle must be and searching for a way to lessen the impact.
“It’s harder for Kyle ’cause he doesn’t have as many friends as me. He says you have to be careful because sometimes kids aren’t really your friends.”
The kid had developed a protective skin to prevent being hurt again, only he couldn’t get his shield in place when it came to his own father. It seemed doubly essential that Brendan not allow whatever maniac was out there to get to Chloe or her kids. That would only exacerbate Kyle’s distrust of people.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Madison. Sometimes when things hurt deeply, there isn’t anything we can do but pray and ask for God’s help to get through it.” He patted her head. “I guess that’s what we’ll have to do for Kyle.”
“I’ve been doing that,” she told him with a frown. “Only I don’t think it’s doing any good. Kyle still gets hurt. Maybe I’m doing something wrong.”
“No.” He had to help her get rid of her guilt. “You’re doing
everything right. Sometimes we don’t get answers right away, but the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. That means we don’t stop. That isn’t because God doesn’t hear, it’s because we need to practice our faith, to keep trusting that our Heavenly Father will work everything out for us.”
“I guess.” She peered into the fire for a long time then twisted to look at him, her face serious. “Sometimes I wish my dad was more like my Heavenly Father. Maybe then Kyle wouldn’t feel so bad.”
From the lips of a child, Brendan marveled as she turned back to the puzzle they were working on. Madison had hit upon a truth he was certain few parents recognized. Little things mattered to kids—things like being there when you said you would, keeping your word, not promising more than you could deliver. But more than anything, kids wanted to know that they were the number-one most important thing in their parent’s world, that they mattered.
Chloe did that. He’d watched her for weeks now. Whenever she came home at the end of her day, no matter how tired, no matter the hour, the kids were the first thing she checked on. Her eyes blazed with love when she tucked the sheets around their sleeping bodies before she retired or hugged them tightly before school. More than once she’d leaned over a tousled head and whispered, “I love you.”
For the first time Brendan wondered if he had that ocean-deep well of love in him, if he’d be able to be that rock for his own children.
Okay, that was in the future. But as he stared at Madison’s shiny curls backlit by the fire, it seemed more important that he make sure
these
children understood that whatever they needed, he’d be there for them.
Don’t let me mess this up, God.
“Dinner’s ready.” Chloe stood in the doorway watching him. She looked flushed, her cheeks rosy-tinged. The soft pale pink color she usually wore on her lips had long since been worn
away by her teeth biting the skin as she concentrated. How many times had he watched her do that?
“Do you see how much of this puzzle we’ve done, Mom?” Madison rose, her grin irrepressible. “Actually it was mostly me. Brendan didn’t do much.”
“Too difficult?” Chloe teased, watching as he rose to his feet. She pushed a tendril of hair from her eyes. Those blue eyes narrowed. “What?”
He shook his head at the unasked question, smiled at Madison. “Just appreciating how really great your lovely daughter is.”
“I already knew that.” Madison giggled before dashing away.
“She’s a wonderful child, Chloe.” He reached up, dusted the flour off her nose. “She knows Kyle is hurting.”
“Because of Steve.” Chloe sighed, turned her face up and rotated her neck. “He was supposed to show today and he didn’t. Again. I wish Kyle would stop putting so much stock in those worthless promises.” A tear formed at the corner of her eye. She used her dish towel to dab it away.
“Steve has no idea what he’s missing. When he finally gets it, he’s going to wish that he’d paid them more attention. And you.”
A sparkle of something lit her eyes and traveled down to lift her lips in that glorious smile that transformed her from beautiful to breathtaking.
“You’re good for the ego,” she murmured. “Thank you.”
“Thank
you.
” He held out a hand to stop her from leaving. “I mean it, Chloe. You and your kids have taught me so much about the relationship God wants for parents and kids. I’ve been forced to consider my own suitability, what I’d do with fatherhood.”
“You’d make it work,” she insisted so softly he had to lean closer to hear. “You’d put your heart and soul into loving your child.”
“How do you know that?” He was curious about her certainty.
“I’ve seen you—with the kids at the model club, with Maddy’s team, here in my home. You listen to them, you make them feel valued, important, and you don’t talk down to them.
They’re not just kids to you, they’re people. I’m glad God sent you to watch out for us.”
She was gone before he could respond. But as Brendan moved into the other room, sat at the table and shared dinner with the small family, he mulled over what she’d said. God had sent him here—well, it was true, wasn’t it?
But what else did God have in mind? Was that all he was supposed to be to Chloe? A watchdog?
“Madison! You’re so clumsy. Why don’t you sit beside Mom so you can plaster her with your messes? When are you going to stop acting like a baby?”
“That is enough, young man!”
Brendan blinked back to reality to watch Chloe mopping up a milk spill that had splattered over Kyle’s pants.
“Well, she’s such a—”
“Don’t say another word. If you can’t say something nice then be quiet. You’re old enough to show some tolerance for other people, Kyle. Madison didn’t deliberately spill her milk on you, so get over it.”
“Well, I’m not eating that now! It looks like something her dumb cat would throw up.” Kyle grumbled as he shoved away his sloppy plate.
“Ozzie’s not dumb!” Tears tumbled down Maddy’s flushed cheeks. “You take that back, Kyle Tanner!”
“Will not.” He thumped his hand on the table, rattling the glasses. “The cat’s stupid and so are those two dumb guinea pigs. Even their names are dumb. Kanga and Roo. Those are from little kids’ stories! I should let Ziggy eat your ugly little rodents.”
Madison wailed at the idea.
“Stop it!” Chloe rose from the table, removed Kyle’s plate. “I’ve heard quite enough from both of you. For the rest of this meal you will both mind your manners. Otherwise I’m canceling that video you wanted to see tonight.”
“Sorry, Mom.” Madison bent her head in shame but Kyle merely pinched his lips together in an angry line.
Chloe tried reason. “I know you’re upset about your father, Kyle, but it is not our fault that he didn’t come today. Perhaps he had an emergency. Things happen. You’ve got to learn to deal with life without flying off the handle. You can’t have a tantrum every time something doesn’t go your way.”
“Nothing ever goes my way,” he grumbled. “How about the ski trip? Can I go on that?”
“I’m not—”
Brendan stepped in hoping to spare Chloe. “Your mom can’t tell you that yet, Kyle. It depends on this guy we’re after. If we’ve got things under control, then she’ll be able to decide better but right now, it’s not an option.”
“He’s not after me. It’s her he wants!” Kyle jumped up from the table, his face red and angry as he raged at Chloe. “Why do you have to spoil everything?” He bolted from the room, knocking over his chair as he left.
“I’m sorry you had to witness that.” Chloe’s hand was shaking though her voice was calm. She offered Brendan a slice of the cake his mother had dropped off while she’d been sleeping. “I apologize for my son’s bad manners.”
“Forget it.” He wanted to shake the boy, force him to see how much he was hurting the woman who loved him so much, but what good would that do? Brendan rose, poured them both a cup of coffee, added cream to hers then set it before her. “Everything will be fine. Relax and have a cup of coffee, Chloe. You don’t have to rush off to work right away.”
“Thanksgiving’s almost here.” Madison looked at her mother hopefully.
“Yes it is, honey. I hope I’ve got enough for everyone to eat.” She sipped her coffee, glanced at Brendan. “You’re always worrying about me. When do you sleep? I noticed you spent this afternoon getting the Christmas decorations up outside. You didn’t have to do that, though it’s lovely not to have to think about stringing those lights myself.”
“With all that snow last night, and then school being can
celled, it gave us a way to work off our energy. Madison thought the house would look more festive.”
“Well, thank you. It does.” She patted Maddy’s hand then asked her to clear the table. Darcy and Fergus arrived a moment later and insisted Brendan and Chloe take their coffee to the family room.
“I’ll sleep tonight. Don’t worry about me, Chloe.”
She nodded but he could see how troubled she was. “I wish this would be over. I need some normalcy for my family. Not that I could afford to send Kyle to this expensive ski resort anyway. I’ve looked at things every way I can but there’s no way I can work it.”
He didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.
“I don’t understand why he wants to go anyway. It’s not as if he’s an avid skier, or even close friends with any of the others. I don’t even know these so-called friends of his.”
“I might have a handle on that,” Brendan told her, then stopped. Maddy stood in the doorway.
“Are you going to help me with the puzzle?” she asked.
“Do you think you’d be able to finish it yourself?” he asked. “I’d like to talk to your mom for a bit.”
“Of course I can do it by myself.” She made a funny face. “It’s not like you helped a lot anyhow, Brendan.”