A Time to Die (10 page)

“Caring is
doing
, Eric. It’s not some head game. It’s doing something that says, ‘I care.’ Lots of people are turned off by CF—by sick people in general. It’s okay if you can’t handle it, but don’t lead someone on. Don’t play games.”

Eric had no comeback for Vince, no defense and no excuses. He hadn’t meant to hurt Kara. It was just so hard for him to give free rein to his feelings.

After they finished, they walked to Eric’s car, and he drove Vince back to his car. Eric switched on the heater, hoping to warm up the car, but realized that the cold feeling was coming from within.

At the school parking lot, as Vince opened the door to slide out, his knee accidentally hit the button on Eric’s glove compartment. It flopped open, and when the contents spilled on the floor, Vince reached to pick things up. A bright blue envelope was addressed to Kara.

“A get well card,” Eric mumbled by way of explanation. He had intended to do something for Kara. Surely, Vince could see that.

“Did you forget your way to the mailbox?” Vince got out of the car and tossed the card onto the seat. “No guts, Eric, my man. That’s your problem. No guts.”

Eric watched Vince walk to his car, climb in, and drive away. Eric sat staring out into the darkness until the chill began to permeate his thick jacket. He felt cold, and alone.

K
ARA SPENT THE
morning thinking about what she should do with her wish money. She still hadn’t told anyone and felt frustrated. She decided to give her mind a rest and occupy herself with drawing. Now she sat in the hospital sun room in a wheelchair, her sketch pad spread across her lap. Deep in concentration, she moved her pencil quickly, coaxing the image in her mind to appear on the white surface. Her brow furrowed. She didn’t even look up when she heard someone enter the room. She was ready for the ride around the grounds that Christy had promised her at lunchtime. Maybe she’d confide in Christy concerning the letter she told herself.

“You look serious,” Eric said.

For a moment, she thought she might have
imagined him. She started, almost dropping the pad.

“Have I changed that much in three weeks?” he asked.

Her heart beat crazily, and a smile lit up her face. “I didn’t expect you. It’s great to see you. Of course, you haven’t changed. Why are you here?”

“To check on you.” His hands were shoved in the pockets of his jacket. He came over to her, and she closed the pad swiftly. He was as handsome as she remembered … more so. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

Something in the hesitancy of his tone of voice made her realize that he thought she might send him away. The notion surprised her. She could never do such a thing. Seeing Eric made her feel as if a surge of electricity had shot through her. “You’re here now. That’s what matters.”

He knelt beside the chair and touched the back of her hand, black and blue from IV needles. “You should see my ankles,” she said with a self-conscious laugh.

“No, thanks.” He looked her full in the face, and she felt as if her heart had taken up residency in her throat. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Me, too.”

“Want to go for a ride?”

“With you?”

“Christy told me she was scheduled to take you outside. I’d like to take you instead—if you’re up to it.”

Up to it
, Kara thought. She’d been dreaming of it. “I really would like to go out.”

He stood. “Do you have a coat? Even though the sun’s shining, it’s pretty cold.”

She was wearing a thick cable-stitched blue sweater, but she knew he was right. “There’s a jacket in my room.”

He pushed her down the hall, passing several nurses who waved. In her room, he helped her into a bulky ski jacket and laid a blanket over her knees, carefully tucking it around her legs. Then he pushed her toward the elevators. She would have given anything to be walking alongside of him, but it was out of the question.

In the lobby, people hurried past. She watched them, envious of their ability to move and breathe at the same time. “There are trails all along the grounds,” she told Eric. “Sometimes, you even forget you’re near a hospital.”

Outside, the air was sharp and cold, and it stung her lungs. She swallowed the urge to cough. Pale sunlight flickered through bare tree branches as she looked skyward. When she’d been hospitalized, it had been autumn and the leaves had been brilliant shades of red and gold and orange. Now, they all lay on the ground in heaps, dry and papery, blown about by northern winds.

“You’re quiet,” Eric said. “Anything wrong?”

“I was just thinking that I’ve gone and missed autumn this year. I hate that. Did you know that if a person lives a hundred years, he only gets to
see the leaves change colors a hundred times? That doesn’t seem like much, does it?”

“Not when you put it that way. I guess I take it for granted. Autumn comes. Autumn goes.”

“I never take autumn for granted,” she said. “It’s beautiful and my very favorite time of year.”

“I like summer. No school.”

“Summer’s nice. Houston’s near the Gulf, isn’t it?”

“It’s not too far a drive. My friends and I used to hang out plenty at the beach.”

“Do you miss Houston?”

“A little.”

“Will you be going back when school’s out?” she asked, but he didn’t reply right away. At least, he was with her now. If he was going back, she didn’t want to know.

“Summer seems a long way off in November. Too far to make plans now.”

Vince had once told her the same thing.
No use making plans with anyone
, she told herself. “There’s a rest area. Why don’t we park for a minute. You can sit on one of the benches, and we can talk.”

“But we’ve hardly made a dent in the path.”

She wanted to look at him, be with him, not just hear his voice over her head. “I’d like to stop rolling for a minute,” she said lightly. “A person could get motion sickness doing any kind of speed in one of these things.”

He parked the chair and set the brake, then brushed dead leaves off one of the benches and
sat down in front of her. “Are you sure you’re not cold?”

“Not a bit,” she lied. Truth was, it now hurt to breathe.

He picked a fallen leaf from her blond hair. “A souvenir from an autumn gone bye-bye,” he said, handing it to her.

“I’ll put it in my scrapbook when I get home.”

“Any idea when that will be?”

“Dr. McGee is acting like a sphinx. I ask, but can’t pin him down.”

Eric glanced at his watch and jerked upright. “Oh, my gosh, I promised Christy I’d have you back in twenty minutes. We’ve been gone over thirty.”

She wasn’t sure if he was telling her that because it was true, or if he was bored. “I’ll tell her it was my fault. Don’t worry.”

Eric took off the brake and started the chair back toward the hospital. “You don’t know my sister. She’ll have my butt.”

Kara giggled. “I can’t believe you’re scared of Christy.”

“Are you kidding? She’s a terror. She cracks her whip, and I have to jump. I do laundry, cleaning, and cooking like a slave.”

“Should I report her to the authorities for child abuse?”

“Don’t laugh. I’m telling you, she’s tough.”

By the time they got back to Kara’s room, Eric’s outrageous tales of his life with Christy had Kara laughing so hard, she couldn’t catch her breath.
Eric rolled her inside and came to a screeching stop. Vince was waiting.

“Looks like I missed a good joke,” he said, his eyes on Kara.

She reached out to him, and he bent down and hugged her. “Eric’s been telling me how Christy’s turned him into a slave.”

“He looks abused,” Vince said drolly, unzipping Kara’s jacket and helping her take it off. “Glad you could make it,” Vince added to Eric.

Kara sensed an undercurrent between them. “You two haven’t been arguing at school, have you?”

“No,” they said in unison.

“Help me get back in bed,” she said, suddenly struggling for breath. “I guess I’m not used to so much fresh air.” She wanted to cough hard and would have if it had been only Vince in the room with her.

Eric scooped her up in his arms, and Vince pulled aside the covers. Eric placed her down gently, and Vince draped the covers around her body. “Such teamwork,” she said.

“Well, if it isn’t Dopey and Grumpy,” Christy said to Eric and Vince as she breezed into the room. She came swiftly to Kara’s bedside. “I was checking to make sure you were all right.”

“I’m in good hands.”

“Dr. McGee wants some more chest X rays right away. I told the tech I’d bring you down.”

Kara groaned her displeasure. She was so tired.
Even the little bit of exercise she’d done had wiped her out. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, you have to,” Vince said. “Eric will put you back in the chair.”

“We can wait here until you come up again,” Eric offered.

“No,” Kara said wearily. “Do me a favor. Go take each other out for a soda. Pretend I’m with you. Then come by tomorrow and tell me how much I enjoyed myself. I feel better just knowing you’re together having fun.”

Eric and Vince exchanged glances. “That what you want?” Vince asked.

Kara nodded. “Maybe Dr. McGee will give me a pass this Saturday.” She turned to Christy. “Will you help me persuade him? Just for a few hours?”

“A pass?” Eric asked.

“Sometimes the doctor will let us check out of the hospital to take in a movie or something. We’re not well enough to go home, but we’re not sick enough to be penned up on this floor twenty-four hours a day, either. It keeps us from going stir-crazy,” Vince explained.

“And the nurses from throwing us out a window,” Kara joked. “Sometimes we can act pretty rank.”

“Let’s see how you’re doing after your morning treatment,” Christy urged. She shooed the boys toward the door once Eric had settled Kara back into her wheelchair for the ride down to X Ray.

“Don’t forget,” Kara said. “Go have a soda for me.”

Once they were gone, Christy pushed her down the corridor to the elevator and down to the lab, without conversation. Kara felt bone-weary and a little apprehensive about the timing on the X rays. She wondered why Dr. McGee ordered that they be done immediately. She hadn’t had a chance to tell anyone about the letter and check. She wondered if the mysterious JWC had felt as physically drained as she was feeling. JWC were the initials. JWC had been in hospitals and endured pain.
JWC, whoever you are
, Kara thought,
please know how much I appreciate you, your letter, and your gift
.

W
HEN
D
R
. M
C
G
EE
allowed Kara a four-hour pass for Saturday afternoon, she was ecstatic. She made plans with Eric and Vince. They picked her up in Eric’s car and drove to the mall with the eight-choice movie theater. “Too bad this isn’t a convertible,” she said as she sat between them in the front seat, feeling as if she’d been sprung from jail.

“Are you kidding?” Eric said. “We’d freeze to death in a convertible.”

“But it’s a beautiful day,” she cried, hugging her arms to herself. “A beautiful day to be alive. Life is full of surprises, you know.”

Eric glanced toward Vince. “I think she’s gone bonkers, Vince. What about you?”

“Totally stark raving mad,” Vince said with an
easy smile. “In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Fischer, it’s raining.”

She ducked her head to peer at the sky through the windshield. Raindrops beat a steady patter on the glass. “Liquid sunshine. It’s all in your perspective, you know.”

“Well, Vince, why don’t you grab the umbrella in the backseat to ward off the liquid rays while I park the car.” Eric had pulled up at the mall entrance nearest the movie theaters. Vince found the umbrella, helped Kara out of the car, and walked her to the entrance. “See you in a sec!” Eric yelled to them.

Inside, the mall was swarming with people. The merchants had already put up Christmas decorations, although Thanksgiving was still a week away. A giant Christmas tree glittered with lights, and music played from the sound system. As they approached the theater entrance, Kara savored the smell of buttered popcorn.