Still believing that Charlie could and would be willing to influence Margaret into returning to Lake Worth, Florida, C. A. Whitman persisted in his phone calls. The last occurred on Monday, 18 June 1966. According to the elder Whitman: "I told him he was working too hard and he ought to slow down. He was trying to do the impossible, but he didn't hear me. At times Charles did get angry with me for telling him he was working too hard." 11
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Charlie's friend, Larry Fuess, agreed. Larry could not understand why Charlie insisted on such heavy loads of very difficult classes, especially since he was not much of an engineer. Fuess, a gifted student, stood ready to help, especially since Charlie was enrolled in courses Fuess had already taken. But Charlie never asked for any help. 12 Clearly, he was trying to do too much. Fourteen semester hours for a summer session, in addition to a job, were more than he could handle. Why he insisted on such a heavy schedule while dealing with such turbulent personal problems can only be explained through his convoluted definitions of achievement and success: money and influence. The reality of Kathy being the major provider in their household genuinely galled Charlie.
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In late July, 1966, Charlie resurrected a "poem" he had written two years earlier while in the brig at Camp Lejeune. In a neat print, in all capital letters, he wrote:
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| | To maintain sensibility is the greatest effort required. To slip would be so easy. It would be accomplished with little effort. Yet, to maintain is necessary in order to benefit from the future. Of what benefit? Will benefit be derived from the future?
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| | To burden others with your problemsare they problems is not right. However, to carry them is akin to carrying a fused bomb. I wonder if the fuse can be doused. If it is doused, what will be gained? Will the gain be worth the effort put forth?
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