A Simple Mistake (14 page)

The next few hours were the most torturous of Nick’s life. They had their meeting and it wasn’t pleasant. Nick managed to hang on to his temper, but only just.

They all agreed it was a shocking article, that it was equally shocking Lainey would do something like this, but there seemed to be no other explanation. Nick was furious. For the first time ever, there was a serious rift between him and the four others. It was especially horrible to have this between him and James and Mia. Supposedly, because of Lainey, Mia’s secret was out.

Nick ached for Lainey. Stony-faced and silent, she went through the mechanics of checking out of the hotel and checking in at the airport. It was bad enough having to deal with the break up of their relationship without all of this. He knew she was innocent but didn’t have a clue as to who else could’ve done it. He’d watched Malcolm very carefully during their meeting, but he’d been as outraged as everyone else. Despite Lainey’s words earlier on, Nick kept his arm around her and glared at anyone who dared to look their way. He ignored Mia and James completely.

As soon as they boarded the plane, Lainey put on the headphones and retreated under an airline blanket. She had the window seat and leaned against it, her face turned away, her body language clear.

Nick half-heartedly watched a movie, feeling sorry for both himself and Lainey. He jumped, when without warning, she snatched off her headphones, staring at them as if they were poisonous. He switched his dial around to find out what had upset her and instantly recognised Phil Collins’ voice.

Their song. Of all the ones to have heard.

He ripped off his own headphones and pulled her to him. She resisted at first then gave in, her shoulders shaking, muffling her sobs against his chest. There was nothing he could say to give comfort – he could only hold her. When she sat up, she was a mess, all blotchy and red-eyed, but he loved her as much as ever.

‘I’m sorry, Nick.’

‘Lainey,
please
don’t apologise.’ He kept a hand on her knee while she cleaned herself up. ‘Are you going to be alright when you get home? During the week?’

‘Yeah, I will. I’ll go out to Mum’s for a while.’

‘Can I phone you? I’m really worried about you.’

‘No, Nick.’

He was disappointed but she was right; a clean break would be best. ‘If you need me for anything, anything at all, phone me.’

‘Thank you.’ Her eyes were sad and he knew she wouldn’t take him up on it but it made him feel better to make the offer.

‘In a way,’ she said, ‘this is probably all for the best. God knows exactly what’s going on. He’ll look after me. It’s horrible, not what I’d envisaged but I’ve got Him to lean on. It’s you I worry about. You don’t have that.’

How could she think anything about this was for the best?

He was proud of the way she handled herself once they were on the ground. She carried herself with dignity and didn’t shy away from anyone, saying her goodbyes while they waited for their baggage. She even went up to Mia and said a few words and although Mia refused to look at her, Lainey seemed satisfied.

‘What did you say?’ Nick asked.

‘Nothing new. I told her how sorry I was this had happened, reiterated that I had nothing to do with it and hoped one day we could be friends again. I like her, Nick. She’s a bit prickly but underneath she’s intensely loyal and protective of those she loves. That’s why she’s so hurt that someone would betray her trust like that. She’d never do it to anyone else in a million years, any more than I would.’

He put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Really, she’d just described herself.

They came through into the arrivals area and had to put up with the usual media attention but before they knew it, they were in the car being driven home by Phil. All too soon, they were outside Lainey’s flat.

Nick opened the car door. Might as well get it over with. ‘I’ll get it, Phil,’ he said. She had only one suitcase and he carried it for her up the pathway.

Lainey found her key, opened her door and switched on the light. Nick was glad no one was home; they would all be at church.

‘You’d better go, Nick. Phil’s waiting.’ Lainey was doing a good job of having it all together. Only her incessant fiddling with the door key gave her away.

He took it out of her hand and put it on the table then held her for one last time, closing his eyes and breathing her in. She was the one who pulled back first.

‘Bye, Nick,’ she said, those blue eyes of hers resolute.

He kissed her on the sensitive spot beside her ear, not daring to kiss her mouth. The jagged intake of breath was nearly his undoing.

Reluctantly, Nick let her go and walked to the door, at war with every step. This was wrong; they belonged together. When he turned for a last look she was standing where he’d left her, hands to her mouth, sad but dry-eyed.

‘Take care, beautiful,’ he said, and closed the door behind him.

He didn’t remember any of the short drive home, his mind occupied with the unbelievable fact he’d lost her for the second time.

Tonight, coming home brought no solace whatsoever. His heart was empty, aching and homeless.

He paused in the act of opening the fridge.
Empty, aching, homeless.

The beginnings of a melody flitted around in his head and he smiled. This was how he dealt with things. He armed himself with an apple and a bottle of cold water from the fridge and headed downstairs.

By the time he had switched on the lights in the studio, he’d rearranged some words and come up with more.
Restless, aching, burning. Homeless, empty, yearning.
It was a good start.

He took his guitar off the stand, fine-tuned it and began playing, looking for the right key. It didn’t take his mind off Lainey altogether but if he could make something good out of this it might dull the ache a little.

It was three in the morning before he finished. He had his song. It would need a few adjustments, but it was good. Very good. Normally he would head over to James’s first thing in the morning and play it to him but not this time. The dust needed to settle.

For the thousandth time he wondered how Lainey was doing, if she was asleep or like him, staring into the dark, thinking of all the things he hadn’t said. He hadn’t even told her he loved her and that realisation alone kept him awake for a long time.

He finally slept and woke feeling groggy and out of sorts. It got ten times worse when the memory of the previous day hit him. He lay there, alternately angry with Lainey and then himself.

Here he was, a man who was supposed to have everything and he had nothing that mattered. He was completely alone.

* * *

Lainey listened to Nick’s footsteps go down the path and the limo pull away. Perhaps this was how it might feel after a car accident. Once the commotion and noise was over, you’d wonder what had happened and assess how you felt, find out what your injuries were.

She knew all her limbs were intact but her brain wasn’t functioning very well and her insides felt bruised. She stepped around her suitcase and went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Her mind went blank as to where the mugs were kept and hunted through the cupboards until she found them. How ridiculous was this?

Waiting for the jug to boil, Lainey thrust her hands in her coat pocket and encountered a piece of paper. Before she’d even unfolded it, a lump formed in her throat. It was the note Nick had written before the last concert. She thought she’d packed it away, but obviously not.

She got as far as ‘
Hi beautiful’
and then the tears came, big, gut-wrenching sobs that crippled her to the point where she slid down onto the floor, her face in her hands. She didn’t hear the front door open or voices, but she felt arms around her and the comforting warmth of Lara and Kate on either side. When she’d finished, for the moment anyway, she pulled a handful of tissues from the box that had appeared on her lap and blew her nose. Looking at her flatmates, she discovered they were crying too.

‘You two are no help whatsoever.’

Kate just sniffed and hugged her hard.

‘Better out than in, Mum always says.’ Lara reached for a tissue. ‘Do you feel up to talking about it?’

‘I think so. But what’s said in the kitchen stays in the kitchen, right?’

Both girls nodded and she began her story. There were more tears and Lainey wondered where on earth they came from. Hadn’t she cried enough already?

When she finished, she felt a little better. Her flatmates were as shocked as she was about the magazine article. It was a dreadful thing to have levelled at her, on top of everything else.

The best part was when they both prayed for her and asked God to comfort and strengthen her. She felt His presence right there on the kitchen floor and knew she’d get through this. After all, what didn’t kill you only made you stronger. That was another one of Lara’s mum’s sayings.

And then they prayed for Nick. It made her cry again, but she didn’t care. She knew he needed praying for more than ever. She had every intention of storming the gates of heaven on his behalf.

Almost six months later, Lainey stood back from adjusting Lara’s wedding dress. Blinking hard, she leaned forward and kissed Lara’s flushed cheek. ‘You look beautiful.’

‘Don’t wreck her make-up!’ Sarah had done it for the four of them today. ‘And for heaven’s sake Lainey, stop crying. You’ll make us all start.’

‘I know, I know.’ She gave a big sniff, annoyed with herself, but there was nothing like a wedding to get her going and Lara was her best friend.

It was two days before Christmas. Lainey, Kate and Sarah were in red knee-length dresses with sweetheart necklines and crossover straps at the back. They suited them all, and were a perfect contrast to Lara’s wedding gown.

At last night’s wedding rehearsal there’d been a lot of clowning around and healthy nervousness. Lainey had extricated Lara from Adam, anxious to get her home and try for a good night’s rest.

‘I could die of happiness right now,’ said Lara, as she climbed into bed.

‘What? And waste all that money spent on a perfectly good dress? What kind of an accountant are you?’

Lara giggled. ‘I can’t believe this is really happening. I don’t think I’m going to be able to get to sleep, I’m so excited.’

‘I’m happy for you, I really am.’

‘You’re the best friend ever and I love you.’ Lainey heard the rustle of sheets and a hand grasped hers. ‘Are you really okay about seeing Nick?’

‘I’m fine. It’s your day tomorrow. Just worry about yourself and think about Adam.’

‘I can’t
stop
thinking about Adam.’

‘Good. You just keep dreaming about domestic bliss and hanging his undies on the washing line next to yours for the next seventy years.’

Lara went to sleep not long after, but Lainey lay awake.

She knew Nick kept in contact with Adam but he was a taboo subject. Lara would mention whether he was in the country or out of it, but that was it, nothing personal. It was a strange situation for them to be in after years of telling each other everything. Well, nearly everything.

Nick was a guest at the wedding and he was singing
The Journey
, just as Lara had hoped. It would be during the signing of the register and Lainey would be occupied with looking after Lara’s bouquet and signing her own name. He hadn’t come to the rehearsal last night as he’d been with The Mavericks, getting ready for a Christmas Eve extravaganza.

Lainey really
was
okay about seeing him. She prayed for him everyday and missed him, but she always had. That was nothing new. These days, she had a calmness that pervaded her spirit whenever she thought about him. It was deep and sustaining and she knew it could only come from God.

So here she was, at her best friend’s wedding and about to see Nick again. Brian had already escorted his mother to her place, Lara’s dad was standing there beside his little girl, patting the arm linked through his as he tried not to cry, and the music was about to start.

Time to put her best foot forward, as Lara’s mother would say.

* * *

Nick’s stomach lurched at the sound of the processional music. He was more nervous about seeing Lainey than he was at the thought of singing live on Christmas Eve to a television audience of hundreds of thousands. It didn’t make sense, but nothing about this whole thing did.

Beside him, Hamish craned his neck for a better view of Sarah. Nick gave her only a cursory glance. She looked pretty enough but Lainey was gorgeous. Red was a great colour on her and the dress showed off her fabulous legs and figure. Her hair was piled up with sparkly things in it, and a few strands curled around her face. She held herself tall, wasn’t afraid to look around and when she saw him, her smile became sweeter, just for him, before she moved on.

Nick had the same old bullet-in-the-chest feeling he’d experienced when he saw her at James and Mia’s wedding. Illogically, he was also irritated. Lainey looked happy.

With an effort, he pulled his gaze away and concentrated on the bride. He liked Lara very much. She and Adam had been good friends to him over the last few months and he thought they were perfect for each other. Just like he and Lainey were.

He watched the ceremony as if he were two people. One of him behaved while the other sulked at the unfairness of it all. It should be him and Lainey up there.

When it was time for him to sing he was on automatic pilot, not that anyone would notice. He was a professional.

After the service, Nick followed Hamish outside. To his surprise, Rose came up and hugged him and asked if he was alright. She thought he looked a bit peaky. He told her he was tired after a busy few weeks, and that seemed to satisfy her.

He watched the wedding party having their photos taken on the steps and waited for an opportunity to speak with Lainey. When it was time for family photos, he was gratified when she came straight over.

‘Hi, Nick,’ she said and stopped just short.

He was having none of that.

‘Hi, beautiful.’ He pulled her into a hug, closed his eyes and inhaled. He’d missed her so much. ‘How are you?’

She squinted at him. ‘I’m fine but are you alright? You look tired.’

‘According to your mother I’m a bit peaky but I’m all the better for seeing you.’

Her smile faltered, but only a little. ‘We’ll catch up properly at the reception, hey?’ And then she disappeared amongst what seemed like hundreds of ridiculously happy people.

He turned to find Hamish observing him. ‘You look like you need a drink.’

‘I’d love one.’ Clearly, he wasn’t looking his best today.

‘Yeah, well, it’s a dry wedding. You’ll have to make do with orange juice.’

Things just got better and better, didn’t they?

At the reception he was seated with Roger, Rose, Hamish and some of Lara’s older cousins. It wasn’t too bad. He enjoyed catching up with Rose but it was Lainey he wanted to talk to.

There weren’t many times that being a public figure got to him but it did today. He knew everyone was watching as Lainey left the bridal table and came over.

‘Want to get some coffee?’

‘Yes.’ He didn’t want any at all. It was never hot enough in places like this but he followed her to the beverage table, glad for the opportunity to be with her.

‘It’s been a wonderful wedding. Lara and Adam are made for each other, don’t you think?’ Lainey busied herself with cups and coffee.

‘I thought we were once,’ he said, ‘I still do.’

‘Don’t Nick.’

‘Don’t Nick.’ He mimicked her and received a reproving glance.

‘I’m not going to argue with you,’ she said, ‘not at our friends’ wedding.’

She was right of course.

‘Yeah, I’m sorry. Let’s start again.’ He adopted a cheerful tone. ‘How are you, Lainey? What have you been up to?’

‘I’m well. I’ve been working, doing stuff at church, helping Lara with the wedding. It’s been busy but I’ve enjoyed it. What about you?’

‘I’ve been writing and recording, ready for the next album to come out before we tour the States. I’ve got a movie to do as well. I fly out on Boxing Day.’

‘I hope it all goes well.’ She hesitated. ‘Thank you for the rose on Liam’s birthday. It was lovely of you.’

‘I hoped you got it okay. I thought you might have rung me.’

She wrinkled her nose. ‘I did think about it. How were you that day?’

He wasn’t about to tell her he’d drunk himself into a stupor while waiting for her to call. ‘If you’d really wanted to know you should’ve phoned.’

Lainey merely raised her eyebrows. Sometimes she was such a teacher. It made him feel about six.

‘How are James and Mia?’ she asked. ‘Is she well? She must be due soon.’

‘They’re great. She’s only got two weeks to go. Unfortunately, she still thinks it was you that leaked the information for that article. The next month didn’t help much either.’ It had been about their break up, and had suggested that it was to do with religious beliefs.

Lainey sighed. ‘I read it. Still, I know it wasn’t me and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’ll work itself out in the end. I was more worried about how it would affect your relationship with James. Are you guys okay?’

‘To a point. We’ve agreed to disagree. I know it wasn’t you, Lainey.’

Her mouth curved into a smile. ‘Thanks, Nick.’

Man, she was lovely. More than anything, he wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless, do something to get her out of the comfortable state she seemed to be in. He was going crazy.

He jerked his head towards the bridal table. ‘That should be us up there today. Please, Lainey, can’t we get back together? I’m still in love with you.’

He’d hoped for some sort of positive reaction but this foreign, composed girl put down her coffee cup and folded her arms.

‘I love you more than anyone on the planet, but it doesn’t matter. It’s. Not. Going. To. Work.’

She couldn’t have made it any clearer but he persisted. ‘It has to, Lainey. I want you!’ That was a mistake. He sounded like a spoiled brat.

She narrowed her eyes. ‘Maybe for once in your charmed, easy life, Nicholas Cusack, you are not going to get what you want just because you want it. Sometimes there are issues to be faced.’

If she wanted to talk issues, he’d give her one. ‘We share a
child
, Lainey. How can you ignore that?’

She wasn’t so calm anymore but still quiet. ‘As long as you keep walking away from God,’ she said, ‘I have to keep walking away from you.’ And did exactly that.

He watched in disbelief as she marched away to a group of friends and joined in their conversation.

He’d been told. He’d also had enough.

Nick didn’t offer any explanation for his sudden departure. They’d figure it out.

He stomped outside and thumped the nearest wall, Lainey’s voice in his head.
Pity party! Streamers! Balloons!

Try as he might, he couldn’t get away from her. She was woven into the fabric of his life and he had no idea how to cut her out of it or even begin to loosen the threads.