A Simple Change (7 page)

“If your mother and father agree, I would be pleased to help you with your reading, Madelyn, but I don't want to break any of the rules.” I glanced at Brother Werner.

“Ach, would not be breaking rules to help her read. No different than to have her Mutter or me sit at her side and listen, but I can stop at the school and speak to Brother Wieler, so he will know you are helping Madelyn.” He pushed up from his chair. “I need to go to my room for a few minutes. Please excuse me.” He waved to the three of us. “You go on and visit with one another.”

Ritt smiled at his sister. “The schoolwork is not so important, Madelyn. You worry too much about your reading and writing.”

I stiffened at Ritt's comment. Did he truly believe education wasn't important? Or did he think it wasn't important because Madelyn was a girl? Either way, the thought annoyed me. A good education was the foundation of a productive future, for both men and women, and given his age and experience, Ritt should realize that. I folded my hands in my lap and tightened my lips into a strained smile. I didn't want to challenge Ritt in front of his sister, but if we were ever alone, I'd ask him to explain his remark. For now, I'd take another tack.

“If I remember correctly, Brother Herman said you work at the woolen mill, Brother Ritt.” I turned slightly to my right and faced him.

“Ja. I have been there since I finished school. I hope one day that I will become a supervisor, but that will be a decision for the elders when a new supervisor is needed.” He stared down at my folded hands before looking back into my eyes. “It is a gut feeling to help create our fine woolen products.”

“Do you ever need to read or write orders or instructions to complete your work?”

“Ja, for sure. I have to write out the orders for supplies and check them when they arrive.”

I arched my brows. “So you need to add and subtract, as well?”

“For sure. We don't want to have incorrect numbers in our inventory.”

I could see he hadn't connected my questions to his earlier remark to Madelyn about her schooling. “I'm pleased to hear that you have put your schooling to good use at the woolen mill.”

His smile wavered as he slowly grasped my meaning. “Ja, I use a little of my schooling to do my job, but is not the same for Madelyn. She won't be working in the woolen mill, and I don't
want her to worry all the time about not being as smart as the others. Is not gut to compare yourself with others.”

“You're right, it isn't.”

Madelyn turned back and forth as she listened to our conversation. There was no doubt this little girl valued her brother's opinion, and I could see she wasn't certain what to believe at the moment. I'd likely overstepped my boundaries and needed to set the child at ease. I grasped Madelyn's small hand in my own.

“We are all different, Madelyn. Each of the children in my class learned at a different rate. Some were good at reading, so they learned quickly.” Madelyn's smile drooped, and I squeezed her hand. “But those same students didn't learn their arithmetic as quickly as they learned their reading lessons. God has given all of us special gifts, but I encouraged my students to do as well as they could in all of their studies. And that's what I'm going to help you do—be an excellent student. We'll work well together, and you'll do fine. You just wait and see.”

Shortly after Brother Werner rejoined us in the parlor, Sister Hanna returned home from the Küche, her cheeks rosy from the brisk walk in the coolness of the spring evening air.

Only moments after greeting his wife, Brother Werner gestured to Madelyn, Ritt, and me. “Come along. Is time for prayer service.” I wasn't certain if Brother Herman or my parents expected me to attend prayer service with the Hetrig family, so I hesitated for a moment. The older man arched his brows. “Something is wrong?”

“My parents didn't say if I was supposed to attend any of the church services. I wasn't sure it would be proper.”

Brother Werner waved a dismissive gesture. “Ach! You are
welcome to join us. Our prayer meetings are not long, but we attend every evening. Your parents told you this?”

I grabbed my shawl as we departed. “Yes. They said there would be meetings seven times a week and sometimes more during holidays.”

“We have prayer service every evening. Is not like our Sunday meetings, but we gather in small groups to pray and read the Bible. And there is no reason why you should not be with us. Is always proper to meet with others for prayer and to worship our Lord, ja?”

I nodded my head. “I wanted to be certain I was doing the right thing, since I haven't yet learned all of your ways.”

Madelyn skipped to my side and grasped my hand. “I'll help you learn. We can trade lessons, ja?”

I squeezed her hand. “That would be perfect, Madelyn. I can hardly wait to begin.”

Chapter 7

I had expected to begin work the day after our arrival in Middle, but Mother's initial spurt of energy didn't last. Instead of starting my job, I remained at home to care for her. In some respects it worked to advantage for me. When Mother wanted to remain awake and visit, she told me about her early years in the colonies—how she'd worked in the large garden that supplied fresh vegetables to the Küche where she and her family ate their meals. At times she became surprisingly animated. When she talked about the delivery of bread and coffee cakes from the village bakery, she lifted her nose in the air and sniffed as if she could still smell the yeasty aromas. Though I wasn't excited to hear tales of butchering, my mouth watered when Mother spoke of the cured hams and the sausages, for I'd already tasted both during meals at the kitchen house.

She described how the women preserved and dried fruits and vegetables for the winter months.
“If you ask Sister Hanna, she can show you how things are stored in the cellar below the Küche and in the drying houses.”

Although not so different from the way things were done in the outside world, I couldn't imagine the enormity or the responsibility of preparing and storing enough food to feed so many people through the winter months.

All of it interested me, yet I wondered why Mother hadn't told me any of this years ago. Perhaps back then it hadn't seemed important. Now she likely hoped her remembrances would help me adjust and feel a sense of belonging. And they did help, but I believed both time and participation would teach me the most about this new way of life.

Worrying I might forget some of the Amana customs and regulations Mother spoke of, I began writing her recollections in my journal after she went to sleep. Whether good or bad, a memory, or a rule to live by, I wanted to retain her words.

Last evening I'd received notice that today I would commence my new job of cleaning the men's dormitory. So this morning I opened my journal, and to refresh my memory, I read aloud some of the rules Mother had mentioned during our visits: “Don't talk during meals; walk to and from church with the women; always enter the women's door; a single life serving God is preferable to marriage; a year of waiting is necessary after receiving the elders' permission to wed; a young man must be twenty-four years of age before marriage.” My thoughts turned to Ritt and I stopped short. I barely knew him, so why had he come to mind rather than Nathan?

Across the hall, my mother stirred and I closed the book. I
wondered if the doctor had informed Brother Herman that my mother's health had shown some improvement over the past few days.

Since our arrival, time had passed quickly, and our small apartment now bore some semblance of our former home. The overstuffed sofa and three chairs, though somewhat less sturdy than those constructed in the colonies, looked quite nice in the parlor. I'd taken care to arrange small marble-topped tables near each of the chairs and topped them with vases and kerosene lamps. I'd become accustomed to the gaslights in our Kansas City home, but it hadn't taken long to adjust to the flicker of the kerosene lamps. If my parents experienced any difficulty readjusting to their earlier way of life, or if they missed any of the conveniences we'd once enjoyed, they gave no sign. In truth, they both appeared quite content.

For as long as I could remember, my father had read the daily newspaper each morning without fail. Now, instead, he read the Bible, and the only news from the outside world came by letter. Only one had come since our arrival, and it was from Father's lawyer. A brief note stating funds had been transferred from the sale of our house to the elders of Middle Amana, as previously instructed.

I had hoped to hear from some of my students by now, for I'd left a packet of addressed and stamped envelopes with Mr. Ludwig at the orphanage. Of course, I couldn't fault the children overmuch, for I'd written only one letter to them. If Miss Manchester was teaching all of the children, she wouldn't have time to help them pen letters. Still, I couldn't help worrying about Charlie and his arithmetic or about Bertie's progress in reading. And was Miss Manchester exercising patience with Henry? The boy needed a
gentle hand. If he was pushed, he often stopped trying. Would Henry or any of the other children regress in my absence? My heart ached as I thought of each one.

During these past weeks I'd almost learned to schedule my life according to the bell that tolled throughout the village. The sound was a reminder of when and where I needed to be present throughout the day. Mother had said I would eventually enjoy the soulful clanging, and she'd been correct. It hadn't taken long to grow accustomed to the familiar sound.

I'd arisen and dressed early this morning, for I'd been awake most of the night. My shoes clacked on the wooden sidewalk as I accompanied Father to the Küche for breakfast. I doubted I'd be able to hold anything in my stomach. I hadn't been this nervous when I began my first day of work at the orphanage. I'd always been confident about my abilities, but this was different. I'd never before worked as a cleaning woman, and I worried I'd do something wrong. I cared little about myself, but I didn't want to cause my parents any embarrassment.

“So today you will begin your first day of work.” My father walked alongside me. “I know this work doesn't put your education to good use, but you should remember that whatever we do, we are to do it heartily, as working for the Lord and not unto men—that's from Colossians.” He smiled down at me as I hurried to match his stride. “I have no doubt you will do your very best. And you should know I am very proud of the way you have worked to adapt to this new way of life. I am sure it has not been easy.”

I glanced down at the dark calico dress that had replaced the clothing I'd worn in Kansas City—colorful cashmere jersey suits, well-tailored skirts, lace-trimmed shirtwaists, as well as numerous day dresses and evening gowns. I offered a weak smile. “I am
adjusting. I do miss teaching and the freedom of choosing my own schedule, but there is something to be said for this simple way of life.”

He nodded. “And Nathan? Do you miss him, too?”

I hesitated, trying to decide exactly how I did feel about this separation. “I'd certainly enjoy the sight of a familiar face, but Nathan hasn't written, so he may have found someone else to occupy his free time.” The thought that Nathan would so easily toss me aside bothered me a bit. I didn't know if it was pride or if I had cared for him more than I wanted to admit. Though he hadn't exhibited his best characteristics before I departed, Nathan could be fun and quite charming. During the early days of our courtship, he'd enjoyed attending parties and celebrations of every sort. It hadn't been until later that his raw ambition to become a successful businessman had outweighed his fun-loving side—the side I enjoyed and missed.

“And you? Have you taken up your pen to write him?”

I shook my head. “No. If I am to remain here, I thought it best to adjust to my new life rather than look back to what I've left behind.”

“I see. But now you are not so sure?” He inhaled a deep breath. “You must remember that you are not bound to stay here, Jancey. It would be wise for you to make a decision before the sale of the business is completed. I could possibly make arrangements to set aside a portion of money for you if you want to leave. But if you wait . . .”

His voice trailed off and I nodded. “I know. If I wait, then I must find work to support myself or find a husband who is willing and able to do so.” I reached for his hand. “I have no plans to leave, Father. Mother needs me, and I want to be with both
of you.” He didn't argue, but I saw the worry in his eyes. “And if Nathan writes, I promise I will respond, but please don't worry about me. In no time, you will discover I have completely adjusted to this new life.”

I meant what I said. I was determined to do my best—for Mother's sake and for my own. I'd been heartened by her improved health and her ability to rally the day after our arrival. However, she'd taken a downward turn immediately thereafter. When she agreed that I should bring her morning meal back to the house, I knew her pain was greater than she'd told either Father or me. Though I hadn't mentioned it, I planned to seek Brother Herman's permission to extend my time at home unless she showed some improvement after eating her breakfast.

When we arrived at the kitchen, I walked to the rear of the building and signaled to Sister Bertha. “My mother is not well this morning, so I will need to take her breakfast to the house.”

“Ja. Sister Hanna will see to it. This isn't her week to help clean in the Küche. She can take it to her as soon as she has eaten.”

“No, I will take it.” I tightened my lips.

Resting one hand on her ample hip, Sister Bertha shook her head. “Sister Hanna tells me this is to be your first day cleaning at the workers' quarters, so you must go to work. Sister Hanna is more than able to care for your Mutter now that she is not needed in the Küche all day.” I wanted to remain in the kitchen and argue, but Sister Bertha waved her fork toward the dining hall. “You should go and sit down. The bell is ringing and I need to see to my work.”

Clamping my lips together, I hurried into the dining hall and scanned the room for Brother Herman. My thoughts exploded like grease popping in a hot skillet. If Brother Herman should give
me permission to remain at home, would Sister Bertha become angry? She'd made it plain that she'd send Sister Hanna to attend to Mother's needs. Yet when I'd first arrived, Brother Herman had been clear that I would be caring for Mother as part of my duties. Had I realized Sister Bertha might interfere, I would have spoken to Father on our way to breakfast. I sighed when I spotted Brother Herman sitting near the door. He would be out of the dining hall before I could gain his permission.

I took my place at one of the women's tables and was spreading jam on a thick slice of bread when Sister Hanna approached with a fresh bowl of fried potatoes. She leaned close to my ear. “Do not worry about your Mutter. I will give her gut care while you are at work.”

Sister Bertha had wasted no time passing instructions to Sister Hanna. Perhaps she'd detected my unwilling spirit and worried I would attempt to defy her orders. “Danke,” I whispered. There was nothing else left to do or say. Now that arrangements had been made for Mother's care, I wouldn't ask Brother Herman's permission. I didn't want Sister Hanna to think me ungrateful. Even worse, I didn't want her to think I believed her incapable of caring for my mother. For today, I would be compliant. But tonight, I would clarify my work instructions with Brother Herman. My mother's care was my greatest concern.

After the final prayer, I pushed up from the table and was surprised to see Sister Hanna hurry toward me carrying one of the pails used to deliver meals. My heart soared. Sister Bertha must have changed her mind and decided I should take the food to Mother, but when I reached for the handle, Sister Hanna turned so I could not reach it.

“I will carry the food to your Mutter, but I thought it would
be gut if I first went with you to the working men's quarters. I will introduce you to Sister Margaret.” Her lips curved in a bright smile that revealed her dimple. “It is not so far out of the way for me, and I thought it would make it easier for you if I went along on your first day.”

My spirits plummeted when I realized I'd not be going home, but I thanked Sister Hanna for her kind offer. I had hoped to meet Sister Margaret before commencing my cleaning duties, but when Ritt told me she lived in another part of the village, ate her meals at a different Küche, and attended prayer services near her home, I realized there would be little chance to meet before I began working with her—and I'd been right. Our paths hadn't crossed. At least not to my knowledge.

“Sister Margaret is close to your own age and very nice, so I think you could become friends. Werner says she is prone to accidents, but I think she sometimes hurries to complete her work and her haste is the cause of the mishaps. She should be able to answer any questions you may have. If not, save them for me, and I will do my best to help however I can.”