Authors: Ellen Wolf
Her words
calmed him down, a ghost of a smile appearing on his tense face.
‘
If
you put it
that
way, I guess you
’
re right
,
’ he agreed, opening the door for her as they stepped
outside.
‘
I
’
m just mad that I underestimated her reaction, you know. I thought she would just take it in
; s
o far she
ha
s
never had a public meltdown
.
She’s only been irrational
when we were alone. So I expected her to get mad, of course
,
and call me to talk about it or wait for me in the office
;
either way
,
nothing like what Sandra described to me. I guess that folks in the office
had
a ball today,
h
u
h
?’
They stood in front of the restaurant, the sun beating down
on
them blinding her eyes as she tried to look into his face.
She
watched
him hail a cab and wondered what else to say on this weirdest pretend date she could have ever imagined. She
didn’t regret it
, nevertheless. Being close to Liam was like a gift, the
sobering realization that a very short timeframe
existed
for enjoying it adding to the bittersweet sensation.
She saw the cab slowing down at the curb and was almost relieved not to have to come up with some
polite
,
meaningless remark after all.
Lifting her face to him
,
she took a breath
,
ready to just say her good bye and go, their agreement for what they had planned for today fulfilled. She
had come
to his office with the purpose
of making
everyone believe she was his girlfriend, and it
had
worked. Job well done
.
She didn’t get the chance to say anything at all, because suddenly his head dipped, strong arms pulling her closer as he kissed her, his mouth demanding and coaxing her into responding. It was different than the kiss in the office, or even the one from the past. It had a claiming quality, as if he
were
branding her as his, each sweep of his tongue against hers
stoking
the fire until it threatened to burn her into a heap of ashes.
The cab honked and he let her go, his dark eyes on her flushed face.
‘Just checking if we
’ve
still
got it, J
ade
.
’
His
smile didn’t manage to wipe away a seriousness that bordered on sadness, as he stroke
d
her cheek and opened the cab door for her. ‘I
’
ll see you soon.’
The cab took off, her numbed brain barely coherent
enough
to provide her driver with the address. She looked back and saw Liam, still standing at the curb, watching her drive away, with his hand raised in a farewell wave. It took all her
self-control
not to start crying, because she knew that it was the beginning of the end.
Something had changed. Jade stared at the compilation of tile samples spread on the kitchen counter
, unable
to keep going with her search for the perfect backsplash
.
Liam was avoiding her, of that she was sure. She was alone, the evening sun casting its orange glow across the newly
installed
terracotta tiles. The workers had already left, the renovation moving along with a speed that
could be only justified
by
of the wealth of
resources that Liam was able to put into its completion. Usually the
se
projects would take more time, she thought, recalling
previous
nerve
-
wracking dealings with unreliable deliverers, custom
-
made pieces that would
take
weeks
or even
months to be finished
,
and workers
who
mysteriously developed diseases that kept them from showing up to work.
Nothing like that
had
happen
ed
here
.
T
he major demolition that
had taken
care of the rather cramped main floor
had taken a
fraction of
the
time she
had
allocate
d
to
it
, and
the new open
-
concept space
was
exactly as she
’d
imagined it. The house was very sound and didn’t really have any unexpected surprises
,
as
was so often the case
with
the
aged homes she had
worked
with before. The electrical, the plumbing
,
and the pipes were all in good shape, cutting down on cost and time.
The new windows, larger and more efficient than their predecessors
,
ha
d
been installed
. She stared out
at
the breathtaking view, her finger going
automatically
t
o
scrap
e
of
f
the sticker that
had come
with the new glass.
S
he tried to remove
a tiny blob of
g
lue left behind and was
surprised
as it suddenly turned all blurry
.
It took her a second to realize that she was crying,
her hands going to brace herself against the new countertop, the cool smooth surface of the granite reassuringly solid.
She
had been
calm and professional all day, she thought as sobs raked her frame. She
had
managed to deal with the workers, joke with Laura
,
and even talk to Liam over the phone. All
th
e
while
,
she
’d
felt
like
dying inside, another day passing without him
so
much as popping by to check on the progress. He mentioned
he was
extremely busy, apologizing and asking her to send him photos of any questionable samples
upon which
she needed his
input
, which she
had done
obediently.
She didn’t believe it, she thought now, hiccupping as she cried harder, her hands balled into fists. He was regretting the kiss from a few days ago, she knew it. For whatever reason
,
it
had
scared him,
their
contact
subsequently
reduced to bare minimum. She could hear it in his voice when they spoke, the wall that he had resurrected around himself as visible to her as if it
were
made of stones. It wasn’t her fault, she thought angrily, punching the
cool granite and
whimpering
as her
hand
pulsated with pain. She
hadn’t
ask
ed
him to kiss her,
hadn’t provoked
it at all
.
S
he
had
responded to it, true, but
he was the one
who
had
pulled her to him with such
a
determined gesture
,
as if it
were
the most natural thing to do.
Was he worried now that she would hope for more?
Had
he felt her response and interpreted it correctly
and was now
regretting the whole idea of taking her to the gala
?
If she weren’t such a coward
,
she would ask him about it, she thought miserably as she blew her nose and splashed cold water over her heated face. Maybe she should tell him
that she’d had
second thoughts about going with him after all. Make it easy for him, without the awkwardness of being told by him whatever lame excuse he would come up with.
She wouldn’t do it
,
though
.
S
tupid as
it
was, she couldn’t stand the idea
of ruining a chance
to be able to see him for a few more precious hours. Even though
he would
probably have
welcomed
it
,
she was too selfish
to go through with
cancelling
. She thought about it when
lying
awake at night, different scenarios coming and going through her fevered mind. In the end
,
she had decided to make a
good
last
impression
, looking her best and acting as if she didn’t have a care in the world. To leave him with the
belief
that she was as uninvolved as he was, doing him a favor for the sake of their old friendship and nothing
else
. Maybe if he saw her look
ing
sophisticated and cool, he would even regret not seeing her as more than just a convenient dummy
.
O
ne
could dream
.
Done crying, she cast one last glance at the tiles, deciding to start again tomorrow morning. She had emailed Liam all the sample pictures and hoped he would narrow
down
the choice
s
. For now, she was done and ready to drive back to Laura’s place, the red Honda her friend insisted
she
use waiting patiently in the driveway. Laura’s surgery had been moved up to just five days from now, four days after the gala.
She started the car and drove carefully down the wind
ing
road, oblivious to the wonderful view that usually kept her
spellbound
even after two
whole
weeks of working on Liam’s house. Her thoughts were preoccupied with Laura and the big day that was looming closer and closer. After the surgery the true ordeal would just
be getting started
,
waiting for the results that would tell them if the cancer had spread anywhere else beyond the site in her breast.
The best possible option was to find it still inside the duct, a clean removal of the infect
ed part enough to stop it from g
rowing
and spreading. The worst was to find her lymph nodes already affected, the gates to other organs open and vulnerable.
Jade
didn’t want to contemplate this last option, hoping for the best outcome and making sure Laura
was thinking optimistically
,
as well
. Together with
Laura’s
mom,
Jade
cheered her up and kept her too busy to ponder all the implications of the surgery. As Laura’s mom said
,
there would be
enough time to worry about it if
the worst
proved to
be true;
meanwhile,
they should concentrate on hoping
for
the best. Vivacious, fierce
,
and unbeatable, Mrs.
Latimer wasn’t
very
different from the person Jade remembered from over a decade ago. Her hair was dark now, true, and she wore less jewelry and more color than
the
ever-present
black outfits she
had favored
,
but her passionate core was the same, time obviously unable to slow her down.
It
had been
a struggle to convince her that Laura didn’t have to move in with her, only Jade’s presence helping to
en
force the idea that she was
absolutely
capable of taking care of herself for the time
being.
She had promise
d
to reconsider once the chemo started, but for now they were still safe in their girls
’
haven
,
as
Rocco jokingly called it. He had also started to be a frequent visitor
;
the shock of finding out from Laura that she was sick almost wiping
the
huge grin
from
his face
. Almost but not quite, for he recovered swiftly and made her laugh
through
tears with his jokes. Only Jade noticed the slight tremble of his hand as he held his bottle of beer, the perfect act he w
a
s putting on for Laura not fooling
Jade
for a moment. Still, she was glad she had persuaded her friend to share her news with him, imagining how much harder it would be for him to find it out afterwards
.