Authors: Lindsey S. Johnson
I think back to everything Keenan said, or Sent me, about Orrin. Was there more tenderness, extra warmth to his voice and mind? I don’t understand how I could have missed it. I grab Orrin’s hand, clutching at this unexpected remnant of my brother.
“I will trust you,” he is saying. I look in his eyes, try to See more. Although that is probably rude.
“I didn’t know. He didn’t tell me,” I whisper.
Orrin looks away. “I know. I didn’t tell my family, either. But he was going to. I swear.”
I nod, squeeze his hand. “I believe you.” Tears run down my face. “I — I have missed him so much. I am glad you’re here.”
Moonlight trickling into the chamber through the window catches the glint of tears in his eyes. I struggle with my breath.
Orrin lowers his head. “I miss him, too,” he says, and sobs shake him. I pull him awkwardly into my arms, and he clutches at me. His grief rumbles through us both, and I can’t hold back anymore.
I feel a deep trembling within my limbs, in my stomach, in my lungs. Sobs break from me, and we are holding each other, tears pouring, raw weeping. It is the first time I’ve been held since before … everything. I weep for Keenan, for Mum and Da, for my life, holding onto Orrin with something like desperation in my limbs.
It is some little time before I can gather myself together. Trembling, I pull back, wiping at my face. Orrin produces a handkerchief, which I take gladly. “But what about you,” I ask.
“I have these sleeves,” he says, and I snort, very unladylike. “They’re dark, and no one will suspect a thing.” I like him already.
I sigh, try to smile. “I will speak to my friends, ask if they can request a transfer for you. They, um, they know Cardinal Robere, so they might —”
“Your friend is the princess,” he says, cautiously. And my heart constricts, suddenly worried.
“I am her handmaid. She is, she is —” I flounder. He grabs my hand again.
“I won’t tell, I promise. Not a word to Gantry. But I do … wonder.”
“Please don’t wonder,” I whisper, and stand. “Don’t ask questions. Don’t let — don’t let the bishop know anything, or even suspect —” and I can’t say anymore. “Please be careful.”
He nods, his eyebrows raised, and I retreat. I don’t know how I’m going to tell Connor about this.
Chapter Seven
T
he damp of the morning seems to seep into my bones as I accompany Julianna to morning chapel. I haven’t decided what to tell her or Connor about Orrin, but I’ll have to tell them something — he knows who I really am, and that’s dangerous for all of us. It would be best if he could be transferred. Safer for him, too. What if Gantry tries another demon spell? Will he try to make Orrin help him?
The chapel in daylight is only a little less daunting. The ceiling rises to an arch that frames the west-facing windows with their lacy stonework. Whitewash covers the walls and ceiling beams, and bright murals grace the panels below the windows. Golden wood in fancy cutwork rises to a balcony to the left near the front, and under it a gentry box with padded benches for pews. More golden pews march back from the altar in a short neat row.
The chapel isn’t as large as I thought — no more than forty people could fit comfortably seated, including the balcony. Our kirche in town is easily three times the size. But this is a jewelbox of a chapel. I would be charmed, were it not for the service to come.
Julianna greets the duchess and her ladies as we come down the aisle, and there is polite curtsying all around. I find my hands clenching fistfuls of my dark skirt, and try to relax them. Julianna and Marguerite smile and turn to ascend the tiny spiral stair to the balcony.
I find myself suddenly standing alone, awkward, not sure whom to follow. The ladies are filing into the box to the side of the altar, and servants are milling and sitting in the pews behind me. I feel stupid, not sure if I was supposed to go up with Julianna or not.
“This way, cousin,” I hear at my side, and Connor takes my arm and leads me to the gentry box.
I let out a shaky breath. “Good morning, cousin,” I say, and catch his small smile from the corner of my eye. I realize he’s looking meaningfully at me, and the ladies, who are all staring. I let him lead me, fumble for some conversation. “What a lovely chapel. I am so glad to, uh, see it.”
“I’m happy you feel up to it today, cousin,” he says. The ladies still stare, but my stomach trembles as he hands me into a seat in the back row of the box, and I decide that’s enough conversation for now.
Connor takes the seat next to me, which I gather is not usual, as everyone now has to turn and raise eyebrows. Several ladies frown at him, and all of them start to whisper. I find it amazing how little noise six whispering people can make, and yet still echo in open space of the chapel. I stare fixedly at my hands, clenched together.
Two of the ladies turn and smile in a pointed fashion. “Good morning, my lord, my lady,” Lady Geneve says. “It is so wonderful you could join us this morning. Are you recovering, Lady Rhia?”
I swallow once, try to find my tongue. “Yes, thank you, Lady Geneve. It is kind of you to inquire,” I say, attempting a smile.
She reaches over and pats my hand, glances at Connor, and back again. “So kind of your cousin to escort you today,” she says, and I wonder again where he usually sits. With Julianna, probably. I feel a little guilty.
“I could not let my cousin go unescorted, Lady Geneve. She is not used to such a grand castle as this. I wouldn’t want her to feel overwhelmed.” I stop feeling guilty and instead try not to scowl. True or not, that was just patronizing.
“Your concern does you credit,” says the older woman, Lady Charlotte, in a voice that suggests she doesn’t expect to give him credit.
I raise my eyebrows, but the ladies turn back around and Connor’s face is merely tightly pleasant, when I look.
But now comes the hard part, and I am distracted. Gantry has entered, and the congregation drops silent. He looks out at them, at us, and I try not to feel like a small, hunted thing. He doesn’t even glance at me, I try to reassure myself. Orrin follows behind the bishop, quiet in his brown robes, not looking at anyone in particular. I try not to look at him, either. Connor would notice for sure.
The sermon starts abruptly. Gantry’s dark robes sway with his vehemence. His words are rather obviously pointed. I wonder what Her Royal Highness will have to say.
“I hear from my fellow kirchemen that there are grumblings in Haverston. That the prophet Ashere is leading the kirche astray, that the woman Tejal is the true prophet, and our people should follow the lead of countries like Indranah and Zohar. Even some exalted people have been saying this, all over Talaria.
“I cannot speak for other men. But I know this: Prophet Ashere is the one true prophet. We have and will follow his edicts. And when he tells us that magic not sanctified by light, of people not given to the light, not of the chosen of the Star Lord, is magic bound to the dark, to demons — then he is telling us what is true.”
I keep my head down, not looking in his flat eyes, his burning expression.
Connor puts his hand on my fidgeting knee. A jolt of energy shoots up my leg to my spine, and I have to work to contain the startled jump that wants to leap out. I look at him, and find his gaze on me, steady and clear. Taking as deep a breath as I can, I try to relax my limbs.
He leaves his hand for a moment longer, looking forward. I look up before I can stop myself. Gantry faces this way. I duck my head, but his focus is above us, to the balcony.
“We are only as safe as our laws and rules allow. But crude law is not the only power. You must turn to the Prophet, turn to the Star Lord. The edicts are to save you all. No matter the earthly laws, follow divine laws for the sake of your souls. Ignore them, and sickness and death will be your reward.”
I don’t know what Julianna’s face looks like from here, above and behind us as she is. But Connor’s face is stone. The kind of stone I would be afraid to come across in the dark. Or the light.
I keep my gaze away from Gantry as he continues, his voice buzzing uncomfortably, raking along my nerves. I don’t know if this is his usual routine, but there is no music, no stop for chanting, no ritual call and response. The congregation is silent and blank-faced. There’s no joy here. If he is this grim at every service, I am glad the castle dictates chapel only twice a week for devoted attendance.
The service ends abruptly as Gantry raises his hands in supplication to the Star Lord, intoning “The Light and the Path.” The congregation fumbles into response.
I mumble “… the Path,” and watch, wary, as the bishop stands above us, staring. After a moment, everyone starts to stand, murmur, file out. The normal ceremony of the service is off kilter, and Gantry is happy to have it so. I can feel his grim satisfaction; I don’t need the Sight for that.
Lady Charlotte turns to Connor, who is waiting for them to file out. “Did you enjoy the service, my lord?”
“Very edifying, Lady Charlotte,” he says, and they smile politely at one another.
I press my own lips into a banal smile and nod at anyone who looks my way.
Connor’s hand under my elbow pulls me up, and I try not to flinch at his touch. I feel raw from the service, all my nerves exposed.
Lady Charlotte notices my flinch, anyway, and I can see her filing it away for gossip later. She smiles at me some more, and I smile back, but neither of us mean it. Suddenly I am exhausted.
Duchess Marguerite and Julianna emerge from the stairs to the balcony, and approach the group of ladies.
Marguerite smiles at everyone, then calls out to Gantry. “My Lord Bishop, she says, and everyone left in the chapel stops as he turns and descends from the altar.
“Your Highness, your Grace,” he says, bowing. He glances at Connor and me. “My lord,” he says to Connor, and now I’ll have to be introduced, and I grip Connor’s hand on my arm like a vice.
“I present my cousin, Lady Rhia Wolff fitzWellan,” Connor says quietly. He nudges me and belatedly I curtsey, keeping my face down.
Gantry bows briefly, but his attention returns to Julianna immediately. I do not like the look I see in his eyes when I glance up. He looks avaricious.
Connor’s hand is rigid on my arm, although his expression betrays only bland interest. When I straighten, he lets go and starts to leave. Before I can follow, Duchess Marguerite reaches past me for Gantry’s arm. He stiffens in affront, and I am stuck.
“My Lord Bishop, now that you have taken over service for several weeks, I must wonder if you intend to continue with such … plain ceremonies,” the duchess says. “We have many reasons to sing and pray, along with the lectures on holiness.” She smiles sweetly at Gantry, who frowns back.
“Your Grace, I speak to the needs of this community,” he begins, and the duchess raises her hand to stop him.
Julianna just stands serene, smiling at her mother.
“Lord Bishop,” the duchess says, “I understand you have much to impart to our humble duchy. We are a much smaller community than the usual bishopric. Although I believe you have yet to be assigned to this bishopric, my lord? Or indeed, any?”
The duchess sharpens her smile. “And of course, our town has different customs than you are used to. Here, we do not require our citizens to be dedicated to the light. If one desires it, or is joining the kirche, then it is a lovely ceremony. But we have citizens who are Qorial, and those who worship Pavali, as well. As surely there are in Corat, and all over Talaria.”
Gantry scowls, but Marguerite smiles sharply and will not let him break in. “And while many of us are indeed dedicated to the light, my children, myself, and my late husband included, I have spoken to King Peter myself on the topic, and he says that he will not require it of his citizens.”
“Your Grace,” Gantry tries.
“Keep this in mind, Lord Bishop. I require that you keep that very strictly in mind. From now on.” She stops smiling, and it is a very chill moment in the chapel.
“Your Grace,” he says, and pauses.
Duchess Marguerite stares him down. I can only admire her.
“I will bear it in mind,” he says, not graciously at all, but she nods.
“Songs, young man. And some of the joyous lectures. Dorei is celebrated for her great love and kindness, after all. And the Star Lord is our heart in the heavens.”
“So we are told, your Grace.”
“See that you remember it,” she says, her smile returning. All of us bow and curtsey as she turns to leave. Most of her ladies leave with her, but several stay, talking just within earshot. They aren’t fooling anyone.
Julianna beams at us all. “My mother is a wise woman, my Lord Bishop.”
Gantry looks up from his bowing, straightens, and the gleam of hate in his eyes returns. I bite my lip. “She is pious and follows all the holy laws,” he says, his eyebrows raised.
“Yes, so she does. We are all of us in love with my mother. Every last person in the duchy and castle, down to the smallest child.”
“And yet you yourself are not so beloved by your people, your Highness. It is a pity.” He narrows his eyes at her, glances at Connor. “Excepting for some of your favorite pets, of course. I do worry for you so. It has been such a trying several years for you, since your hasty marriage to the prince. It must be good to be home, where you can be sure of a kind welcome.”
Julianna raises her eyebrow. “I most certainly can be sure of kind welcome here. Almost everyone can.”
I try to edge my way past. Connor waits for me, but Gantry’s arm brushes my hand as he gestures. I gasp, my vision goes dim. Sparks travel the length of my spine, all along the scars on my body.
I look up to see Gantry’s eyes widen as he turns to me. All I can see are his eyes again. It’s over, I know it’s over.
“Clumsy oaf!” Gantry exclaims, and I shrink back, panting. I hear a clang and the muffled thumps of bodies colliding.
Orrin sprawls half on Gantry, ceremonial wine spilled and spreading on the floor. The ladies let out squeals and cries of dismay as they stumble back from the spreading stain, and I let them take me with them.
Orrin looks up and catches my eye. I nod to him, almost weeping, and Connor’s hand is under my elbow, all but dragging me from the chapel. I hear Gantry castigating Orrin all the way down the hall.
I cannot catch my breath. My vision swirls in sparks and blurs, and I struggle to keep my feet under me as we hurry up the stairs and all the way to Julianna’s rooms.
“What was that about?” Connor demands as he deposits me in a chair. I wheeze, but do not answer.
“Connor, what are you talking about?” Julianna asks, coming in behind us.
“Ask her. She has something going on with that acolyte. Answer me, damn you,” he says, grabbing my chin. “Have you been a spy all along?”
“Honestly, Connor. Do you think she tortured herself?” Julianna snaps. He has the grace to wince, look chagrined. “And Robere himself vouched for her innocence, you told me.”
But no one told me. My lungs start to relax, but my mind is going in circles.
“There is something between her and that new acolyte, I can tell you that,” he says. They both look at me. Julianna trusts that he’s right about that, at least. And he is.
“He, he,” I gulp. “His name is Orrin. He was a friend of my brother’s. He, uh, he recognized me.” I say, and Connor swears, begins to pace. “He won’t give me away. He promised.”
Connor stares at me like I’m simple. Julianna stares at me with pity. I’m not fond of either look.
“He loved Keenan. He wouldn’t — he doesn’t even want to be an acolyte to Gantry.”
“Good. Then he won’t object to leaving,” Connor says.
“No, he won’t. I told him one of you might write to Cardinal Robere, have him transferred somewhere safe.” I try to get my breath under control.
“That will take too long. I’ll simply take him, removing him from the castle should be enough.” Connor turns to leave.
“What? No! You can’t do that!” I cry.
Julianna shakes her head, too. “That would be suspicious, Connor.”
He turns to glower at us both. “More suspicious than harboring a dead witch?”
“She’s not a witch, Connor! And she’s right here!” Julianna yells.
“Yes, here, where Gantry or anyone else might recognize her at any moment. Putting her life in danger again, as well as yours!” He’s yelling, too, which isn’t like him.