A Pound of Flesh (A Pound of Flesh #1) (34 page)

Kat took a breath. As caught off guard as she was by his behavior, she had to remain calm for both of their sakes. “Is what true?”

The slam of Carter’s fist connecting with the mahogany shelving at the side of Kat’s head echoed around the room like a nuclear bomb.

“Don’t play with me, Kat!” Carter thundered. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“I’m not,” she replied evenly, blinking back his angry words.

“Just a yes or no,” Carter continued darkly. “That’s all I want.”

Kat’s heart sank. Dread crept up her spine. “I don’t know, Carter. What are you asking me?”

“Austin. The fucking …” He released a long hiss of breath, steadying himself by leaning his body against her. “He said that—that you … Did you?”

“Did I what?” she whispered.

Carter’s eyes flashed rapidly between light and dark. “Did you fuck him?”

Kat’s mouth dropping open made an audible pop. “Sweetheart.”

“NO!” he barked. “Don’t do that. Not now. Just yes or no.” He kicked at the bottom shelf before dropping his forehead and muttering into Kat’s shoulder. “Did you fuck him?”

Kat stood, almost paralyzed, with Carter breathing into the skin of her neck.

“Did you, Kat?” he asked again in a voice close to defeat. “Please tell me.”

Slowly, so as not to alarm him, Kat raised her hand from where it had been hanging lifelessly at her side and brought it to Carter’s face. He flinched at her touch. Not to be deterred, she persevered and eventually her fingertips were dancing lightly across his cheek and jaw.

Carter eventually looked at her, his face furious.

“No,” Kat murmured, moving her palm from his cheek, down his neck. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t.” She rubbed her hand around in a small circle, praying it would ease him.

His relief was evident only in the way his grip on her lessened. His face still held a million and one emotions and questions. He licked his lips and shifted from one foot to the other. “You didn’t?”

“Never, Carter.”

His eyes moved down her body. It wasn’t in the sexual way Kat had started to grow used to; instead, it was as though he was seeing her for the first time since he’d twisted her into the books.

“You didn’t,” he whispered finally, apparently seeing what he needed. He took an unsteady step back, releasing Kat, and stared at her in a way that made her want to laugh and cry all at the same time. He was worn and weary, having become the complete antithesis of the raging creature he had been. Kat stood up straight and made to take a step toward him.

Carter put his palm up to stop her. His eyes dropped to her feet. “Don’t,” he said with a frown. “I’m … I … Just stay there.”

Even though it broke her heart, Kat stepped back. She stood, watching Carter slowly morph back into the man she knew. The tightness of his jaw dissolved, along with the tension across his shoulders, but the sadness in his eyes remained.

“I didn’t know,” he muttered. “I didn’t know you knew him. That you—”

“He’s not important—”

“You had dinner with him.” Carter jutted out his chin, daring her to deny it.

Kat pressed her lips into a tight line. “There was a group of us. For my birthday. It wasn’t like a date or anything—”

“He drove you home,” Carter added. Kat dipped her chin in affirmation and Carter’s face scrunched as though suffering a raging headache. “You were alone with him.”

Kat bit her lip while her hands fisted at her waist. How stupid she had been to keep this from him. She’d cursed her family for not being truthful, and she’d done the exact same thing to the most important person in her life. She was no better than they were.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I only found out that you were related at my grandmother’s last week.”

He looked toward the ceiling. “Did anything happen?”

Kat exhaled. The sound was the only confirmation she gave.

“You kissed him?”

Her eyes met his briefly as she whispered a tiny “Yes.”

Carter’s head snapped back. He hit it hard against the large books behind him. “Shit.”

“Carter.” Kat took a tentative step forward. “Please, talk to me.”

“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” he retorted, glaring over her head.

“There’s plenty to talk about,” Kat said firmly. “You’re upset, and I want to make it right. You have to let me explain.”

“Explain what?” Carter snapped. “Explain that while I was in prison, wanting you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, you were allowing my cousin to stick his filthy tongue down your throat?”

“Hey!” Kat took another step while pointing a finger in his face. “That isn’t fair. I didn’t know he was your cousin, and I didn’t know you wanted me! You treated me like a goddamn pariah every time I saw you. How the hell would I know?”

Carter avoided her stare and toed the floor petulantly.

Kat dropped her finger as his words sank into her heart
… wanting you more than I’ve wanted anything …
Had he wanted her that much even then? She moved closer and placed her hands timidly on his hips. “Carter.” She moved her hands to his shoulders. “Look at me.”

He ignored her. His hands had turned into fists so tight his knuckles were white. Kat’s hands continued moving to his neck, which was flushed with his temper, up to his sharp jaw, covered in the rough stubble that had marked her so wonderfully.

“Carter, look at me.” Kat pulled his face to hers. His eyes rested on her chin. “Please.”

He shifted once more, slouching so that Kat was no longer on her tiptoes. His eyes moved up her face slowly. He stared at her, not speaking. He eventually moved his hands to her waist, squeezing her once before closing his eyes.

“I hate that he’s touched you,” he whispered.

“He hasn’t.”

A mystified expression crossed his face. Kat rubbed her hand down his temple.

“No one has ever touched me like you.” She drew her nose across his chin, breathing in his rich scent. “No one has ever kissed me like you.”

“Kat,” Carter whimpered, placing his forehead against hers.

“I never wanted him.”

“Peaches.”

“Carter, listen to me,” she urged, taking his hands. “I liked him; he was charming.” Carter made to pull away, but Kat held firm. “And yes, we kissed. But do you know why we didn’t do more? Why I couldn’t do more? Why every time he asked me out, I avoided giving him an answer?”

Carter stared at the floor.

“Ask me why.”

A soft groan rumbled in his throat. “Why?”

“Because every time I was with him, every single time he touched me, I thought of you.”

Carter’s eyes were desperate to believe her, but something in the way his mouth twitched and his eyebrow lifted told her he was doubtful.

“It’s the truth,” she added. “I promise you. I wanted you, too. For so long. I still want you so much. I …”

“What?”

“I’m so sorry that he upset you and made you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” he admonished. “I couldn’t. It’s him I hate. I hate what he stands for—his greed, his pretentious arrogance, and the fact that since we were kids, he’s wanted things of mine he has no fucking right to want.”

The double meaning in his words wrapped around Kat’s lungs.
Mine.

Quietly, Carter told her what had happened at the meeting, detailing Austin’s intentions to remove Carter from the company he legally owned.

“Austin and I never got along,” he explained. “Adam and I are closer in age so, when we ever did see each other as kids, we’d play together. Austin was the firstborn of our generation, the one to take over the company from our grandfather. He was groomed for it and became cocky and arrogant. Even at the age of fifteen he was a smart-mouthed prick.

“I remember one particular day,” he continued, “when my mom had taken me from my dad for the weekend; we were at my grandparents’ house, which was a fucking nightmare anyway because my grandfather couldn’t stand the sight of me.”

Carter shook his head.

“My grandmother was completely different. She was cool. She would bake cookies and buy me awesome presents for Christmas and birthdays. She was the reason why we spent so much time at their house. My mom would dump me there, and my grandmother and I would hang out.” Carter scratched his head. “I think it was Thanksgiving. Austin started the minute he arrived. He was a smart motherfucker. He was never obvious with his little comments about how I wasn’t wanted, how he’d heard from my aunt that I was a disappointment to the whole family. He was relentless. Adam just stood there, not saying a word. When it was just the two of us, he’d apologize for his brother, but never in front of him.”

Carter smiled wryly. “Nothing fucking changes. The little comments about my father, and the fact that I was more or less a dirty little secret, went on for the whole weekend. And eventually I snapped. I punched him in the face. He hit the floor, but I couldn’t stop. I punched, smacked, kicked at him, and the whole time, all I could think was that I wanted him to hurt just as much as I did. My grandfather pulled me off him, and he got a couple of slaps for his troubles. Until he slapped me back. He said I should have been given away, and that I would do nothing but bring shame on the family. Just like I had done since the day I was conceived.”

“Oh, Carter,” Kat whispered, placing her hand on his neck.

“My grandmother went bat-shit crazy.” Carter laughed lightly. “I think I get my temper from her.” Kat smiled. “She took me from him and we went to her beach house.” He paused, lost in the memory. “She cried. I remember, she cried and apologized. I didn’t know why she was apologizing. She hadn’t done anything wrong.” Carter looked down at his hands and shook his head. “I hated seeing her cry.”

“How old were you?”

“Six.” Carter cleared his throat. “Within two years, my mom was dead,” he continued. “And I was being sent to boarding school via my mother’s wishes in her will. My father, he just went along with it …” Carter trailed off, clearly uncomfortable.

“I was thrown out of most of the schools I went to. I hated every fucking minute. If I wasn’t thrown out of school, I ran away. The older I got, the more I came to understand that if I made a big enough noise, caused enough shit, the more likely it was that the Fords would have to deal with me instead of shipping me off in the hopes that I’d never come back.”

Kat’s hand rubbed circles on Carter’s shoulder. Her heart broke wide-open for the small boy within the man before her.

“I don’t know how he was with you, Kat,” Carter said, “but Austin Ford is dangerous. He’s selfish and greedy.” Hate lit his irises. “And it makes me fucking sick that he’s been anywhere near you.”

“I’m sorry.” What more could she say?

Not caring where they were, Carter wound his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.” Carter rubbed his palm over the small of her back. “And I’m sorry. I’m just …”

“I know.” She knew how hurt she would be if the circumstances were reversed.

He pressed his lips together. “The idea of you being with anyone makes me wanna tear the city up,” he confessed. “But him?” He shook his head slowly. “Thinking that you’d been with him fucking killed me.” His heart thrummed under her palm.

“I’m with you,” she whispered. “I promise. I don’t want anyone else.”

His eyes burned. “I don’t want anyone else, either. It’s so perfect when it’s just us, away from all this shit.”

Kat fought through the haze of delight his words brought, thinking carefully for a moment. “You know, I have a friend … Ben.”

Carter’s brow furrowed, menace skipping across his face. “Ben? A friend, huh? Should I be worried?”

Kat brushed away the deliberate anxiety wrapping his question with a roll of her eyes. “Hardly. He’s a lawyer, among other things.” She bit the inside of her mouth. “He could help you. With Austin.”

“How could he help?”

Kat chuckled. “Ben could find dirt on just about anybody. That’s his job.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he could find something you could use against him.”

Carter’s lips twitched. “Fight fire with fire, you mean.”

“It’s worth a shot, right?”

Carter considered her offer. “I know Austin has been known to do business with some dodgy fucking characters. Adam has always been the one to clean up his shit.”

Kat smiled. “That sounds like Ben’s forte.”

Carter regarded her carefully. “You’d do that for me?”

“I want you to have what’s rightfully yours. You deserve that.”

His exhale shook from him. “You’re something else, you know that?” The pad of his thumb whispered across her bottom lip. “Thank you. I owe you.” He paused. “Maybe I could do something for you.” He nibbled his lip adorably, hesitant. “We could— I could take you … I mean, do you— What, um, I was wondering. I … Dammit.” He rubbed his face. “I’m shit at this.”

Kat made to move back, to give him some space, but his hand flew to her waist, stopping her.

Carter closed his eyes and spoke in one long breath. “Do you have plans for this weekend? Because if you don’t I’d like to take you somewhere. If you don’t want to I understand, but I’d really like you to come with me. I want to spend some time with you. I mean, I don’t know …” He muttered a number of colorful curses before he shoved the tips of his fingers into his jean pockets.

Kat folded her hands together nervously. “Just us?”

Carter’s eyes shot up, blazing blue and hopeful. “Yeah.”

She cupped his cheek, smiling warmly. “I’d love to.”

Carter blinked, not attempting to hide his surprise. “Really?”

Kat laughed. “I said so, didn’t I?”

His chest rumbled with a low self-mocking laugh.

He glanced toward the empty reading room doorway and reached for her hand, clasping it gently between his large fingers. He tilted his head to the right. “I know it’s against session rules, but I’m fucking dyin’ to kiss you.”

Kat instinctively licked her lips.

“Just a small one.” His thumb snuck under the edge of her blouse, skimming her stomach, igniting the glowing embers in her blood. “Just a small taste.”

Kat moaned deep in her throat, hearing the words he’d spoken the first time he’d ever kissed her. As soon as their lips met, her body relaxed. She forgot about the rules and risks. She forgot about Austin, her mother, and Beth.