A Penny for Your Thoughts (16 page)

A knock on her door within fifteen minutes heralded his arrival. She pulled open the door and stared at him. His face looked haggard, and he wore the same blue jeans and polo shirt she’d seen him wear earlier in the day. Her heart melted at his obvious exhaustion.

“Hi, Penny.” Matt entered her apartment and moved purposefully toward the kitchen table. Penny followed and watched him produce a pad of paper and a pen as he took a seat.

“Okay, I need to know everything this guy said. I read the statement, but I’d like to know more. This is obviously not a prank. I think you might be in serious danger.”

Penny stared at him with wide eyes. The knit between his dark brows revealed his concern. Her hands trembled as she repeated the conversation to the best of her ability. She told him about her conversation with Tim, but left out the details about Jerry.

Matt jotted down some notes and shook his head. “And you don’t think Tim could be doing this?”

Penny shook her head. “No, not at all. He seemed offended when I asked.”

Matt searched her face and leaned forward. He reached over to brush back a stray lock of hair from the side of her face. Penny held her breath.

“You’re not telling me something, Penny. Not only can I read faces pretty well, I can darn sure read yours. You keep dropping your eyes. You always did that when you were hiding something. What is it?”

Penny dragged her eyes to his face. He smiled gently and gave her an encouraging nod.

Penny sighed. She wished above all things she didn’t have to do this. Could she bear to see the shock in Matt’s eyes?

“I had a client named Jerry who struggled with severe depression for years, for most of his life as a matter of fact. He’d come from an abusive home. The things that happened to him when he was young...” Penny shook her head, swallowed against the knot in her throat and dashed a hand against the outer corner of her eye. “He came to me last year because he was suicidal. We got him into the hospital for a week where the psychiatrist started him on some medications. The antidepressants really seemed to help, and I thought he was getting better. Every now and then, he would mention thoughts of suicide, but we talked about those feelings when they arose, and the urge usually passed. Jerry never married, and his only connection was some sort of foster son he spent a lot of time with...a young man who’d grown up in another abusive home. He used to hang out at Jerry’s house when he was younger.”

Penny raised her eyes to check Matt’s expression. He leaned back in his seat with his arms folded, apparently enrapt. He nodded.

She sighed. “Anyway, last year, Jerry’s foster son, David, stole some money from Jerry. He refused to call the police or press charges.” Penny sighed and shook her head.  “I encouraged Jerry to distance himself from David, and Jerry agreed.”

Two hot tears rolled down Penny’s face.

“But Jerry’s lifelong depression deepened severely after that. He called me one day to tell me he was going to kill himself. I couldn’t do anything but beg him not to. We called the police, but it was too late. Jerry shot himself while I was on the phone.” Penny gritted her teeth against the overwhelming grief. She shrugged her shoulders in an effort to avert a crying spell. “That’s it. He’s dead.”

Matt expelled an audible sigh. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table. “Geez, Penny. How awful... I can’t imagine how you must feel.”

Penny glanced up and shrugged again. Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth to prevent a wail of despair. “Not half as bad as Jerry must have felt. I should have been able to stop him from killing himself. That was my job. I should have been able to help.”

Matt stood and came around the kitchen table. He knelt down on one knee and took Penny’s cold, shaking hands in his.

“You and I both know you couldn’t do any more. It sounds like you did everything you could.”

Penny curled her fingers tightly through his. “I tried,” she whispered. “I tried.”

“I’m sure you did,” he murmured soothingly.

She stared down into his warm green and brown flecked eyes. “Then why do I feel so bad?”

Matt reached up to wipe a tear from the corner of her right eye. “Because you’re grieving over someone you cared about.” 

Penny rewarded him with a watery smile. “Jerry had such a great dry wit...considering all he’d been through and his depression. He could always make me laugh.”

Matt nodded and rose to his feet. He returned to his seat, picked up his pen and tapped it on the pad.

“So, why don’t you think you’re caller could be someone who knew Jerry? What about the foster son...this David?”

Penny shook her head. “Jerry said he hadn’t heard from him in months. I don’t even know his last name. I doubt if he even knows Jerry is dead.” Her voice shook on the last word.

Matt nodded. “Did Jerry have any other family?”

Penny shrugged. “He didn’t seem to want to talk about his family. I couldn’t really get him to say much other than to relate a few of his experiences...almost as if they happened to someone else. I think his parents were dead. At least, I hope they are.” She shuddered. “But there was an older brother. I never heard his name. Jerry usually changed the subject.” She paused for a moment and remembered something. “Oh, and Jerry was in group therapy with Tim. He was very popular there. Tim’s going to see if he can figure out whether one of his clients might have made the calls, but I know that group. Those guys are pretty harmless. I don’t think they’d do something like this.”

“Good,” Matt nodded. “I want to know what he finds out.”

Penny nodded.

“So, who was the guy?” Matt’s casual change of subject caught Penny unaware.

“I’m sorry?” She wiped an exhausted hand across her eyes.

“The guy at the ice cream shop.”

Penny dropped her eyes for a moment before raising them. “Umm...oh, I told you about him. His name is Kevin. I met him on the beach. You know, he looks a lot like Travis.”

Matt shot her a quick unreadable look. “Really? The last time I saw Travis, he was...what...five? This guy looks pretty grown up to me.”

Penny blushed. “You know what I mean. Kevin’s just a nice young kid who reminds me of Travis.”

Matt nodded. “How old is he?”

Penny had directed her eyes toward the balcony window, but she jerked at his added question.

“Ummm...thirty, I think.”

“Yup, I’d say he’s pretty grown up,” Matt murmured with a thin-lipped smile.

She hunched her shoulder and shook her head. “Oh, please!”

“You’re only thirty-nine, Penny. I doubt he thinks of you as a mother.”

She gasped at his unusually outspoken words. “Matt! I can’t believe you said that! I’m not... I have no interest-- Well, really!” she sputtered.

“Now, don’t get riled up, Penny. I was just making an observation, that’s all.” Matt scanned her face for a moment before dropping his eyes to the pad of paper. Penny turned away and locked her eyes on the balcony door.

“I’m not
riled up
. That’s just silly.”

“So, are you dating this guy, Kevin?”

Penny swung her head back toward Matt.

“Matt! No! Certainly not! In all the years I’ve know you, you’ve shown more interest in this one young man than all the men I ever flirted with to try to make you jealous.”

Matt laughed, a hearty sound that made her lips twitch.

“I knew you were trying to get me jealous then. I didn’t want to give in.”

Penny swallowed hard against a surge of guilt.

“You’re right, Matt, and I’m so sorry. I was just thinking today that if I could go back and do it all over again, I’d change a lot of things.”

From out of the corner of her eye, she caught Matt’s sharp look in her direction.

“But we can’t ever go back, Penny.”

Penny swallowed again to ease the ache in her throat.

“Oh, I know that, Matt!” She hoped her voice carried the right note of nonchalance. “Of course not. I wasn’t suggesting... I was just apologizing for everything I put you through in my younger, more passionate days.”

Matt’s voice was quiet. “You don’t have to apologize, Penny. I never regretted a minute of it.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice of you to say. Really!” She put a hand to her face and left it there.

“I didn’t say it to be nice.”

Penny raised startled eyes. Matt’s face seemed to soften as he looked at her. He stood up and came around the table to pull her to her feet. Penny rose willingly and looked up into his dark-lashed eyes. A familiar light danced in his green irises.

The ringing of his phone startled her from her hypnotic trance. Matt narrowed his eyes and grimaced. He dropped her hands and pulled the phone from its holder on his hip.

Penny turned away with her lip between her teeth and wandered over to the balcony door to gaze outside.

“Chief Williams.”

Penny eavesdropped shamelessly.

“Right now?”

She dared not turn around.

“Can’t this wait? I can’t keep doing this.”

Penny’s ears pricked. She heard his heavy sigh.

“I’ll be right there.”

Penny turned, relieved and disappointed. Whatever Matt had in mind when he pulled her up from the chair was not going to happen that night.

Matt stared at the phone in his hand with a look of distaste. He looked at Penny and shrugged.

“I’ve got to go, Penny, wrap some things up. I’m sorry. Will you be all right?”

Penny crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. “Oh, sure. I don’t think I have anything to worry about here in Gulf Shores.”

“Maybe not, but I think I’d better make some inquiries. I think I might ask Cliff to take a look into it since Michigan is out of my jurisdiction.”

Penny bit her lip, but she couldn’t keep the grin from her face. “You know? That old line...D
on’t make a federal case out of it...
just came to mind.”

“Very funny,” Matt murmured with a crooked smile. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek near her ear.

“I’ll see you soon,” he whispered. 

A shiver ran up and down Penny’s spine, and her arms broke out in goose bumps. She followed him to the door.

“Lock the door,” he ordered before he stepped out. Penny locked the door, turned around and leaned against it with a sigh.

She surveyed her empty apartment for a forlorn moment before she pushed away from the door. She crossed the living room and pulled open the balcony door, stepping out to inhale the salty air. The sun had set, and it would be dark soon. She stared at the water, a lovely lavender color against the soft orange and purple sky. The vista of the quiet beach at sunset seemed at once relaxing and yet lonely. Penny wrapped her arms around her shoulders and leaned against the railing.

“Hey!”

Penny looked down in the direction of the voice to see a man standing on the beach below her building. He seemed to be waving up toward the building.

“Penny!”

She squinted to make out his face in the twilight.

“Cliff?”

“Yeah! Are you busy? Can you come down for a walk?”

“Sure! I’ll be right down.” Penny waved and hurried out the door with a readiness that surprised her. Matt’s departure left an unexpected hole in her day.

She tripped down the stairs and trotted through the garage to the beach, arriving slightly out of breath at Cliff’s side.

“Well, that was quick. I just happened to be walking by and saw you standing there,” he laughed.

“Oh, I wasn’t doing anything anyway.” She jammed her hands into the pockets of her shorts. “I think I was just looking for an excuse to get out of the apartment.”

“An excuse, am I?”

She squinted in the dim light to see his expression, but his white teeth revealed a pleasant smile.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way.” As if in agreement, they turned and started to walk down the beach. Enough light remained to allow them to see their steps along the shoreline.

“So, how was your day?” Penny asked.

“Busy. How about yours?”

“Pretty crazy.” She pressed her lips together. She’d had enough of talking about herself today.

“How are you settling into your place?”

“Oh, it’s great! I’m enjoying such close proximity to the beach.”

Penny nodded and grinned.

“Say, you haven’t seen Matt by chance, have you?”

“Why would you think that?” Penny threw him a hasty glance.

“Well, I called the station looking for him, and Patty told me to call his cell phone, that you might know where he is. He didn’t answer his phone. I just tried it a minute ago.”

“Oh! Well, as a matter of fact, he was just here.”

“So, you two
are
dating!” Cliff peered at her with a half smile. “I thought I saw a little something-something there.”

Penny blushed and shook her head. “No, we’re not dating. He was just checking on me and taking down some information about a phone call I got this morning.”