A New York Romance (15 page)

Outside the bar, Charlie spotted an officer on a horse standing next to a phone booth through his blurred vision, he didn’t know which way the motel was. He swayed back and forth through the crowd toward the phone booth. The officer watched as he walked straight into the glass door. Inside he began to urinate. The officer shook his head and called for a car to come pick him up, and then got off his horse to make the arrest. Charlie was nearly knocked over as he stumbled back into the crowd. He was spun around until he ended up in front of the horse with the officer beside him. He proceeded to slur to the horse, “Excuse me, ociffer. Could you direct me to…I forget where that motel is.”

The officer stared at Charlie for a moment in disbelief then pulled out his handcuffs. “Alright buddy, let’s go, you’re under arrest for public drunkenness.”

“No, ociffer. I can’t be under arrest. I have a girl waiting for me in a motel room somewhere,” Charlie mumbled.

“I’ll bet you do,” the officer said. “What’s your name?”

“Charlie Daniels!”

“That’s very funny,” the officer said. “I suppose you have a friend named Johnny who plays his golden fiddle too, right?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said slowly, half coherent. “He’s a pretty good fiddle player but boy let me tell you what. You should hear Mephistopheles. Whoo ooo! Fire flies from his fingertips when he rosins up his bow. Hey, do you know what ever happened with that court date I had for the Juliano’s incident?” Charlie asked.

“What Juliano’s incident?” the officer asked.

“From the first time I got arrested jumping off the building. They thought I was trying to commit suicide. I think I was supposed to go to court for that, but I never returned home to get the letter. Was that you who arrested me then, too?” Charlie asked.

“No, it wasn’t but I’ll sure look into it.”

“Thank you,” Charlie responded.

“You know you have the right to remain silent, don’t you?”

“I’m just carrying on a conversation, but I know I don’t have to talk if I don’t want to,” Charlie said.

“I would advise you not to,” the officer said.

The police car arrived to pick him up.

As the officers exchanged information, Charlie saw a woman dressed in a glittery purple miniskirt, red high heels, and a low cut gold top.
I want Juliet,
Charlie thought to himself.

“Charlie,” Julie suddenly screamed from across the street. She ran toward him dressed in a purple miniskirt, red high heels, and a low cut gold top. “Charlie, what happened?” wondering why he was being arrested.

“Hi, Juliet,” he replied. His smile was bigger than usual and smelled of whiskey.

“You’re drunk!” Julie shouted. She turned to her left and noticed the woman on the street wearing similar clothes. She glanced over her own clothes and realized they were an exact match. She pulled on her shirt and looked at Charlie. “You caused this, didn’t you? With your thoughts! Look, our clothes are an exact match. You know I almost got killed.”

“You’re wrong, Juliet,” Charlie said.

“What do you mean I’m wrong? Are you telling me that it’s just a coincidence that we have the exact same clothes on?”

“Ah ha, now you’re right,” Charlie nodded.

“Of course I’m right. I mean no, it can’t be a coincidence. You’re here and our clothes are a dead match. Only you could..,”

“Wait,” Charlie interrupted. “Now you’re wrong again.”

“What are you talking about Charlie?”

“His name really is Charlie?” the officer asked.

Julie nodded at the officer and waited for Charlie’s answer.

“You’re wrong when you say the clothes are an exact match, but you’re right when you say you have the exact same clothes on.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not making sense,” she asked.

“I’m talking about the basic theory of
Superposition
where one particle can be in two different places at the same time. Ask one of your quantum physicists, they’ll tell you.”

“What is he talking about?” the officer mumbled.

“The two of you,” Charlie continued, “are not wearing two outfits that look like exact matches. You’re literally wearing the same exact outfit.”

“How much did you have to drink?” Julie asked the officer who shrugged his shoulders.

The officer leaned over and asked Julie, “Is his last name Daniels?”

“Yes, Charlie Daniels,” she replied.

“Oh, hello ociffer. I thought you left,” he said despite the fact that he stood near police car in handcuffs. “This is that girl I told you about that was waiting for me in the motel room.”

“I bet she was,” the officer looked her over. “Alright young lady, you’re under arrest, too.”

Julie looked over her clothes once again. “Oh no, officer. This is a mistake. I’m not a hooker or anything. I’m wearing the same clothes as her,” she said as she pointed toward the actual hooker, “because he thought of me in them.”

“Ah, ha! Why don’t you go down to the station with your friend and settle this,” the officer said.

“I asked him about the attempted suicide incident. He’s going to look into it for me.”

“Shhhh, Charlie,” Julie said quietly.

“Alright, into the cruiser, both of you,” the officer motioned.

“Can we just pay you off and walk?” Charlie asked remembering the conversation Mr. Costea had with his friends when they burst into Jim’s Place.

“Shhhh,” Julie reminded him again.

“I heard we can just pay ‘em off and walk. It’s that simple,” Charlie whispered, loudly.

“Charlie, just shut up and sing to me,” Julie said.

“Thank you, miss,” the officer thanked her for helping.

“You want me to sing to you?” Charlie asked as he stumbled over the curb against the cop car again with a glazed look of happiness.

“If you don’t get into that cruiser, I’ll arrest you both for resisting arrest, also,” the officer stated harshly.

“Yes Charlie. Sing now, as loud as you can,” she said as she pulled a tissue out of her purse and plugged her ears.

He began to sing Air Supply’s Sweet Dreams. The officer let go of the door and covered his ears. The crowd began to run and the other officer ducked behind the car. The one on the horse was startled and hanging on for dear life as his horse bolted away. Julie grabbed the keys from the officer’s belt and struggled to unlock the handcuffs as he sang.

Julie dropped the handcuffs and key, took his hand and began to run, “Come on, Charlie, keep singing as loud as you can.”

Charlie sang louder, shattering the windows of the cruiser. They continued running as the car alarms went off and the officers waited behind in horror. Shopkeepers locked their doors and hid inside.

“Keep singing Charlie, we’re not in the clear yet.”

They ran all the way back to the motel. When they arrived, Charlie staggered in the doorway and looked at Julie.

“Juliet, you look like a hhhhuker. A huuu…why do you have tissue in your ears?”

She pulled the tissue out as Charlie attempted to cross the room. It was funny how he could run all those blocks down the busy sidewalks and only now did he stagger across the room. He tripped over his own feet and Julie caught him in her arms. He stood up straight and held her head in his hands, then he said with a smile and laughter, “I love you, Juliet.”

Then he kissed her on the lips, long and hard the way lovers do. Julie kissed him back then stopped him. “Kiss me when you’re sober, Charlie.”

“Okay,” Charlie said with a smile as he stumbled to the bed and fell over.

Julie took off his shoes and pulled the covers over him.

Charlie mumbled to her quoting the end of the Air Supply song, “
Sleep like a child resting deep. You don’t know what you give me, I keep for these moments alone
.”

She was not sure what he was saying. Perhaps it had something to do with the song or perhaps something he felt toward her, or both. She was just glad he didn’t sing it. She sat next to him on the bed and watched television until the sun went down. Then she lay down next to him stroking his hair. “I love you too, Charlie,” she whispered and fell asleep.

Charlie woke up the next morning with Julie’s arm around him. He lifted her arm and slid over to try to avoid waking her. However, his head was still spinning from the alcohol. He fell out of bed, crashing into the nightstand.

“You okay, Charlie?” she asked, brushing the hair out of her sleepy eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered as he stood up, walked backward, and tripped over the corner of the other bed, falling onto the floor again.

Julie sat up and watched him. He seemed overly nervous. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Julie heard the sink water running, and then she heard him fall again, the shower curtain being torn from the rings, and soap bottles tumbling into the bathtub.

She ran to the bathroom, knocked, and opened the door. Charlie was lying on the shower curtain in the bathtub with one leg over the edge, calmly brushing his teeth.

“You okay?”

“Just brushing my teeth. I’m thinking about taking a shower next,” he answered.

“Alright, let me know if you need anything.”

Charlie smiled with the toothbrush in his mouth and nodded as she shut the door. He stood up, panicked for a moment, and then calmly went about his business.

When he was finished showering, Julie asked, “So how did it go with Mr. Costea? Seems like you had fun.”

“I think I’m going to take a break from him for a little while. He got quite upset with me when I mentioned his son.” Charlie sat on the opposite bed. Julie was excited to hear him say he would take a break, which might mean more time with her.

“You don’t have to feel awkward around me.” She sat next to him and began rubbing his shoulders. “It’s okay—the things you said to me,” she added.

“What did I say?”

“You told me you love me. It seemed like you meant it,” she said.

“The things we say when we’re drunk. That’s why I don’t drink,” he said. Julie stopped rubbing his shoulders and became irritated.

“What is going on?” she asked. “Last night you kissed me, told me you loved me, and today you won’t even look in my eyes. What is this, Charlie? What are we doing?”

“We’re just living…as friends,” he said, igniting her irritation to a near rage.

“I’m laying all my cards on the table,” she said. She knelt before him and continued. “I love you, Charlie Daniels. I can say it sober as well as drunk. Do you love me? Can you say it sober?”

Charlie hesitated then stumbled through his words, “Love is a strange thing, Juliet. It’s a word that means so many different things. Even if I say it, you wouldn’t really know what I meant by it. Love is different for everyone.”

“Why must you philosophize everything?” She stood brusquely, folding her arms over her chest. “What did you mean by it last night?”

“I don’t know, I was drunk,” he said.

“It’s just something you say when you’re drunk?” she said angrily. She opened her arms again. “What is wrong with me? Why don’t you want me?”

Charlie remained silent. He did not want to hurt her in any way. He collected his thoughts and said, “It’s not you, Juliet, it’s me.”

“What? That’s the best you can come up with?”

“But it’s true. I cannot be with anyone. You are a wonderful, attractive person, but I am only here for a short while…to serve others.”

“To serve others,” Julie whispered. “You say you spent eternity helping others but what about yourself? How can you help others find something you have never had yourself? You’re human now, and you of all people deserve love. I don’t know if you’re Cupid or not and I don’t care. You’re probably just a crazy person, but I see you as the perfect person for me. There’s nothing else I could ask for in a person. I love you. Why don’t you face the fact that you love me, too?”

“I am an angel. A god. I do not fall in love with humans,” he said with irritation in his own voice.

“But you did. You loved me when you saw me on the bus. You loved me then and you love me now. I know you do. You just won’t let yourself cross that line,” Julie argued.

“I am in a human body. It is only natural that I feel the physical desires of the body. But that’s not what love is. I do not need such human attachments,” Charlie argued.

“Physical desires? Human attachments? Is that all you see this as? Then you really don’t know what love is. I think you’re just afraid, afraid to be human,” Julie argued. “You probably made up the whole Cupid thing in your head just so you don’t have to feel what it’s like to be human.”

“But I’m not human,” he said, taking a moment to mentally feel over his human body, “I’m just here in a human body for a moment in time. I’ll be gone soon.”

“So will I!” she shouted, then continued in a lower but still stern voice. “Listen to you. Sounds to me like you would rather die than really live your life. Like you’re more afraid of life than death. More afraid of love than being alone.”

She began pacing and thinking out loud to herself. “Perhaps you’re just psychotic and made all this Cupid stuff up so you don’t have to deal with any pain that love brings. Maybe you’re just afraid to get hurt.” She turned her attention back to him and continued, “But you have to trust somebody sometime, or you’re going to be all alone. I’m not going to hurt you. You can’t just lock yourself up in some fantasy in your head so you don’t risk getting hurt. Love can hurt, Charlie. But it’s worth the risk.”

Charlie remained silent. He was not angry or upset. He didn’t want to hurt her. Then he said, “The love you speak of is a dangerous thing. It is not true love. It can feel like true love, but it’s deceiving you, and keeping you from ever knowing true love. True love is what we all really want, not this love that ignites passions. Passions are even more dangerous for someone like me, especially in a human body. Passion brings out a lot of energy and if I get angry, I can harm someone with my thoughts alone.”

“That’s why you spend so much time alone, isn’t it?” she asked then she turned back to him. “Is that why you stare out the window all day and love people from a distance? So you don’t get close to them and hurt them? Because you’re afraid of passion? I’m not sure if you are afraid to hurt people or you are afraid of being hurt
by
people. The real tragedy is being in love, but being so afraid that love will hurt someone, you make nothing out of it at all.” Her voice faded out then she added, “That’s the tragedy, Charlie.”

“You must find love in yourself before you look for it in another, or you will become lost in your passions,” he replied. “I know what true love is. Do you?”

“Don’t turn this around on me. You need love, too. You’re going to look out of the eyes of an old man and regret that you spent your whole life helping others but you never really experienced life yourself. You have to live for yourself, also. So ask yourself what you want. By God, you have the ability to have anything you want. If you don’t change yourself, then the same things are going to keep happening to you over and over, until old age forces you to change. So what do you want?”

He remained silent. She thought he was just avoiding the question, but he actually thought about the question and simply did not have an answer.

Julie dried her eyes then asked calmly, “Don’t you want to experience love for yourself? How can you sit there and dwell in it for everyone else while you deny yourself? How can you say you know love at all when you don’t really share it with someone else in a human way? You’re helping people find something that you yourself never experienced.”

Julie paused as he stood up. He still said nothing, as if he did not even understand the questions. She grabbed a few of her clothes, stuffed them in her backpack, and rushed for the door.

“Julie, wait,” he said as he calmly placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Why? This has to end sometime, right? Why not now?”

He stood there quietly staring at the floor.

“Tell me…do you see yourself falling in love here in this lifetime? Do you see yourself spending your life with someone? Waking up each day next to the same face and going to sleep every night with her eyes as the last thing you see? Do you?!”

“Yes,” Charlie whispered to Julie’s surprise and perhaps his own. She was excited that he even answered the question and even more exhilarated at what his answer was. But she did not dare show it or turn around.

“Tell me, when you see yourself falling in love, what does she look like?” Julie asked.

Charlie quieted his mind. As if stepping into the future, he pulled back an image of that woman. “She is creative, energetic, and never stops reflecting on her love for others. She appreciates the love I have for her. We enjoy our individuality yet exist in the ultimate happiness as one. We are filled with joy because we see the joy in all things and share that joy with each other, as well as with others. We are content with little, because our wholeness is everything we need. We are filled with adventure and curiosity, as if every day was the first day we fell in love. Whenever we see each other’s eyes, it reminds us that love is the most precious thing in the world. We serve others as one because we know our happiness is the world’s happiness. Together we share ourselves with the world. She is my equal and not one who serves me because she is complete within herself. She knows what true love is. She loves all things equally and yet I am the one she favors, and I favor her. But she does not put me on a pedestal like lovers often do and does not want to be on one herself. She cherishes our journey together as I do.”

Charlie paused then Julie asked, “What does she look like, Charlie?”

“She is beautiful. The moment I meet her she is dressed in a strange, long brown dress with red stitched symbols and wearing no shoes.” Charlie hesitated then said, “She looks like you but her hair is long and black. Her skin is darken…”

Charlie felt his hand slowly slip off her shoulder. He did not look up as he heard the motel door open.

“Well I’m glad you finally know what you want,” she said, just before he heard the door close.

Julie was gone. The feel of her shoulder still lingered on his fingertips. He felt the sudden loneliness of the room, and the emptiness in the pit of his stomach again. He sat down by the window, staring at the clouds high above the 24-hour mart across the street. He thought of the man he embarrassed outside Juliano’s, the nurse who asked for his help, the bugs now risen from the ground that were once buried under the winter snow, the people he injured on the bus, the doorman, the people who wrote him letters, Mr. Costea and his family, and every creature that he ever knew or did not know that moved upon the Earth…and he wished them all love. But a terrible sadness filled him, and his eyes were suddenly overcome with tears.