A New Leash on Life (27 page)

~ ~

Chloe and I flew to Pennsylvania to be there for Melanie.

Jacqueline’s two sons stood on the other side of their mom’s bed, and Jacqueline’s dog, Penny, rested her head on her heart. Chloe and I stood in the hallway, amid the smell of anesthetics and air fresheners.

Phil placed his hand on the small of Melanie’s back, supporting her past and bracing for her future. Melanie leaned over the bed and whispered into Jacqueline’s ear. No doubt, she whispered Jacqueline’s words,
until we meet again
. Jacqueline opened her eyes wide, smiled at her, and then closed her eyes. A moment Melanie would surely relive in her mind for the rest of her life.

A few minutes later, surrounded by her children, her beloved Penny, and the woman she loved, Jacqueline LaFleur drew her last breath.

Chloe and I stood outside the hospital room and watched as Melanie broke down hugging Jacqueline for the last time. Phil’s hand remained on her back as she relinquished her sadness for the loss of a friendship, a lover, a decade or two of unborn memories. My friend heaved and sobbed releasing feelings she’d spent her whole life suppressing as she lived out her role as the healer instead of the one who needed healing.

Chloe cradled her arm around my waist and I resisted for as long as humanly possible before falling into her embrace. She hugged me and we sobbed.

~ ~

Later on, we picked up General and Ayla from Josh’s and headed back to the shelter. Ayla hugged General and broke down, clinging to him. “I wish you could’ve come to live with me.” She looked up at her mom.

“He’s going to a good home, sweetie.”

“He is,” I chimed in.

We left Ayla alone with him for a few more minutes. We walked back to my office so I could give Chloe a copy of the financials from the last month. I handed her a flash drive.

Our fingers touched, and I let mine linger.

“Thanks for inviting me to go,” she said, cradling my fingers.

I pulled back my hand. “It was the right thing to do.”

“The right thing to do?”

“Yes. The right thing to do,” I said matter-of-factly.

A question sat on her face. “Will you ever be able to let go of all of that anger?”

I stared at her, long and hard, trying to imagine a time in the future when I wouldn’t remember the past. I couldn’t help but judge from my jilted reference point. She lied. She cheated. She hurt me. “Probably not.”

She glared. “I’m done trying to prove to you that I am a good person. I screwed up. Well, so haven’t we all. I was eighteen, confused, and didn’t understand what regrets would come to mean in my life. I’m a grown woman now and I’ve got feelings. I won’t apologize for Ayla anymore. She is my daughter, and I love her and am proud of her. So, if you can’t deal with that, then I don’t know what to tell you. Your pride gets in the way. You’re not perfect, either, you know. You’re too stubborn to admit it.”

She ran off and I let her, too stunned to move, numb from my head to my toes.

Chapter Seventeen

Picking myself up and dusting off remnants from Chloe’s firestorm, I busied myself with the shelter. I scrubbed the kennels more. I walked each dog longer. I held the cats longer. I organized the pharmacy shelves. I trained Natalie and Trevor on assisting me as vet techs. I filled my days to the brim without any success of adding joy to it. Several weeks had passed since Chloe unleashed on me, and I still couldn’t erase the power, the control, and the command in her voice.

How dare she?

Line one rang. I ignored it.

How did things flip so fast? She wronged me yet, I fidgeted like the guilty one. I collapsed onto my futon couch and tossed a pillow over my head.

“Olivia,” Natalie sprang into my office. “Oh, are you okay?”

I peeked at her from under the pillow, protecting my eyes from her bright and cheery face. “Not now, Natalie. I have a headache.”

“Oh,” she rushed to my side and sat down. “Can I get you some tea?”

“No, just shut the light.”

“You have a phone call on line one.”

“Take a message.”

“Hmm. I don’t think so. You need to take this.”

“Of for goodness sakes,” I said, climbing to my feet. I picked up the phone and plopped in my chair. “This is Olivia.”

“Dr. Clark. Hi, this is Peter Dayal, we met a few weeks back about General?”

I sat up taller. “Yes, Mr. Dayal, welcome back from your trip.”

“Thanks,” he said, stretching his voice out.

“So, General is going to be so thrilled when he sees you. What day do you want to come by?”

“Yeah, listen, um.” He paused.

“This isn’t sounding like a good thing.” My heart ached at what I heard in his voice.

“We’re going to pass on General. While we were gone my mother-in-law bought our daughter a puppy. A boxer. I’m afraid two dogs would be too much for us. Especially one who is deaf.”

I dropped my head to the desk. “I understand.” I hung up without saying goodbye. I flung the phone against the door and cursed at it, stomped my feet, punched my legs.

Natalie ran back in. “I overheard.”

She opened up her arms, and I fell into them crying out my frustrations like a wailing baby.

I sat with General for the rest of the afternoon. He sat up tall on my futon staring ahead, as if contemplating his unfortunate life. “It’s unfair, isn’t it?”

He shifted and leaned into me. “All you want is a family.”

He lifted his head and dropped it on my lap. “It shouldn’t be that hard, should it?”

He snorted as if agreeing.

I cradled his neck, petting behind his ears the way he liked. He curled up closer to me, reciprocating the affection, not afraid I would walk out on him, break his heart, and leave him in a cage forever. He simply lived in this moment, cuddling up to it, not worrying about how others had wronged him in life, abandoned him, hurt him. He forgave them the moment they handed him to me, and I knelt down beside him and hugged him.

He forgave them and never looked back.

“You deserve more than this, more than an occasional nap on my futon, more than a metal gate as your window to the world. You deserve boundless love, hugs, and a lifetime of opportunities to lick the face of a master worthy of your love.”

He fidgeted, propped up, turned around a couple of times and sat back down, even taller, leaning against me. I draped my arm around his shoulder and he turned and stared at me. “Don’t give me that look,” I warned. “This isn’t about me.” He kept staring. “I know you think I’m a fool. I know you think I should just call her. It’s not that easy.” I continued to ramble on and he continued to stare at me with his one blue and one brown eye as if questioning me and my stubborn stupidity. “Of course I care about her. It’s just complicated. You wouldn’t understand.” He shifted, but didn’t let up with his stare. “Fine, okay, you win. I do love her. Of course I do. And, yes, I know… I know… she loves me, too. We’re just a couple of fools, aren’t we?” I grabbed hold of his adorable mug. “Okay, fine, I’m playing the fool this time. I get it. What am I supposed to do? Call her and say ‘hey’?”

He wouldn’t lose grip on his stare.

~ ~

I placated to General’s determination. I called Chloe.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” she said.

I leaned against General and gave into the moment, shedding my pride, embracing humility, and taking a leap I had sworn off thirteen years ago. “I miss you, too.”

She breathed deeply. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to hear you say that.”

For the next hour, I leaned against General and spoke with Chloe about life, about the shelter, about Melanie, about Ayla, and about Josh. She listened and offered friendly insights, interjecting with her laughter and her sweet sarcasm. From time to time, General would prop his head on my shoulder and nuzzle my ear or tickle my cheek with his big mushy tongue.

I told her about General and immediately she jumped to his rescue. “We’ll adopt him.”

“What about Aunt Marie?”

“I adore my aunt, but her silly fear of dogs has to go. When she sees General, she’ll get why Ayla came back in tears a few weeks ago.”

“Poor girl.”

“She’s been crying herself to sleep ever since. She adores him.”

“What if your aunt doesn’t want him there?”

“I’m a millionaire. I’ve got options.”

I hugged General, my heart swelling for him. “Can I bring him by tomorrow?”

“I’ll have a bowl full of his favorite kibble waiting.”

When we hung up I playfully punched his burly chest. “So, that was your plan all along, wasn’t it?”

~ ~

The day smelled like fresh air and sunshine on a crisp spring morning. I pulled up with General in front of Melanie and Phil’s. Penny and Snowball ran down off the porch to greet us. I stooped low to pet them. “Hey you.” Penny ran in small circles at my feet, landing finally on a hop. I petted her soft fur and she cuddled up to me. Snowball barked and wagged her tail. “Do you two want to see your cousin?”

Both of them circled me and yipped. I opened the door and General crawled out. He sniffed them both, wagged his short stub and walked up towards Melanie and Phil on the front porch.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” I asked looking up through the maple tree to the fluffy puffs floating against the bright icy blue sky.

“It’s a perfect day.” Melanie smiled, lulling me into peace. “Thanks for bringing him by. I need to give him some of his favorite treats before he hits the road.”

General, Penny, and Snowball followed Melanie into the house.

“How’s she doing?” I asked Phil.

“I’ll let her tell you.”

A moment later Melanie came back out with treats in hand and three very happy doggies at her feet. They stared up at her fingers, waiting. That’s when I noticed her diamond sparkling in the sunlight. I grabbed hold of her hand and the treats fell. The dogs scattered to get them. Phil giggled like a kid and I stood with my mouth agape. “Well, I’ll be darned.”

“What can I say?” Melanie pushed the ring closer to me. “He’s a keeper.”

~ ~

I pulled up to Chloe’s. “Well, big guy. Welcome home.”

General stared out, pressing his nose against the window. I climbed out and headed over to General’s side. When I opened the door, he turned and licked my face with his big wet, gritty tongue. I petted his barrel chest before leading him out. We walked across the green grass and to the backyard gate as Chloe instructed. I unhinged it and we walked through. Chloe and Ayla were tossing a Frisbee. Chloe wore white pants and a fitted short sleeve silk blouse. Her feet were bare. Ayla wore pink shorts and a halter-top. Her skinny legs danced around as she dashed around in wide arcs to catch the Frisbee.

General barked.

The two of them turned to us and Ayla sprinted forward. “General!”

“Ayla stop running,” Chloe yelled out.

I knelt down beside General to ease him into the arms of his excited friend. He sat tall and still like a gentle giant.

Ayla sprang towards us, her hair spraying all over her face, her neck, her twiggy arms. She flung her arms around his big head and hugged him, sporting a smile that reminded me of my brother’s.

I handed her the leash and she took off with him, leaving me alone with Chloe.

“Hey you,” she said, with her easy smile.

I shaded the sun with the back of my hand, taking in all of her beauty. “Hey.”

Chloe turned and smiled at Ayla and General walking, Ayla talking his deaf ear off. “He’s all she talks about.”

We watched as Ayla ran through the grass with him. His stubby tail wagged, his ears perked. “A happy beginning for him.”

“A happy beginning for us all.” She hugged herself and admired the two of them. “Aunt Marie is going to love him, too. I just know she will.”

I stepped in closer to her, supported by a new sense of awareness that this beautiful moment required freedom to breathe and to enjoy, not to be overlooked. “He gave me a good reason to come by and see you.”

She turned to me and waited for me to say more.

“I, um—” I took a hold of her hand and moved in closer. “Um—”

“What is it?” she asked, whispering, prodding me along.

I placed my finger to her lips, looking into her eyes and latching onto the love in them, resting on their beauty and the truth of the moment, of the only moment that mattered. I leaned in to her and brushed her lips with mine. “I love you, Chloe.”

She tickled my cheek with her feathery touch. “Third time’s always a charm.”

I caressed her hand and cradled it against my cheek, losing myself in the sweet breaths that connected us, savoring them for everything they represented in that moment of time when nothing else mattered but her hand on my cheek and the love on her lips.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

This story is an important one for me to tell because it’s one that is close to my heart. As an avid animal advocate and lover, I feel it’s critical for human beings to protect the welfare of animals. They rely on us, trust us, and remain by our sides with loyal, unconditional love.

If you are considering welcoming a pet into your life, please consider adopting a shelter pet!

As with all of my books, I enjoy giving a portion of proceeds back to the #lgbt community. For this book, I will also be donating a portion to Hearts United for Animals,
www.hua.org
.