A Minute on the Lips (19 page)

She looked at Mark but his face was hard to read. “I know everyone remembers the domestic-violence article I was quoted in when I first took office. And I said every one of those things that made you all so angry, but some of what I said didn’t make it in. I talked about how the people of Tall Pines look out for their neighbors, care for them, do the right thing even when it’s hard. Because we’re family. I meant it then, but I understand it better now. I’ve done a good job. So has Ray Evans. I expect this to be a close election, but you’re all going to have to judge me on my record.”

And Andi was done. She wanted to drop the mic and walk off stage, but it was attached to the podium so she couldn’t move until the whole thing was over. She had to stand up there and stare back at the crowd. Mayor Jones looked at his watch. “Thank you for coming out. We hope tonight will help you make your decision when you go to the polls.”

They were whisked off and before Andi’s feet touched the grass next to the stage, a fiddle was tuning up.

“You did so good up there.” Tammy hugged Andi’s neck, and it was impossible to tell what she really thought. Andi decided then that she wasn’t going to second-guess what people said anymore. It only wore her out.

“I did, didn’t I? And it feels good. Maybe it was enough.” Andi shrugged and tried to still the shivers of nervous energy. She wished Mark would wrap his arm around her but he kept his distance. She really wouldn’t blame him if he kept his distance permanently. He’d helped her, and she’d reacted like her old self instead of trusting what she knew about him. This time she would have done better to look at the plain black-and-white facts. Mark had printed the story, but he hadn’t used their relationship against her.

Gram reached up to take her hand. “You look completely worn-out. Let’s get out of here.” It was a good suggestion. Andi glanced over her shoulder to see Mark and his mother walking in the direction of the newspaper office. The separation between them made her sad. She did her best not to cry as she helped Gram back to her unit.

“So, you haven’t patched things up with Mark yet?” Gram asked as she moved to her recliner.

Andi rubbed her face with her hands. She was so tired. “I’m not sure how to.”

Gram snorted. “Well, you’re going to have to forgive him. You did what you thought was right. He did, too. And that’s a hard thing to hold against a man.”

Andi was afraid she was right, and with every second she waited, it got harder to acknowledge. “I think I’ve already forgiven him, but asking him to forgive me for...not trusting him, that’s harder somehow.”

Maybe forgiveness had been her problem all along. And maybe she was the only one holding on to the past, letting it color every single day. Pulling back, shutting down communication with the people in town, that had been a mistake. Was she making another one with Mark?

“Well, now, that’s a whole different question. You never have been very good at admitting you were wrong, have you?” Gram’s face was serious, but Andi could see the spark in her eyes. Gram wasn’t going to tell her what to do about Mark, but she had faith Andi would figure it all out. Sometimes, Andi wouldn’t mind a few step-by-step suggestions. “How about this? Edna was fairly well enraged when she read that story in the newspaper. She’d gotten a few tidbits here and there, but your man flat-out stole her thunder.” Gram wrinkled her nose, and the twinkle in her eyes boosted Andi’s spirits.

“Somehow that does make me feel better, Gram.” Andi laughed as she bent to kiss her cheek. “I’ll come by at the normal time in the morning?”

Gram patted her shoulder. “No, you’re tired. Nettie’s going to pick me up to go grocery shopping and then we’ll head over to Purl’s Place. Why don’t you sleep in?”

Andi felt a twist in her chest at the change of routine. She was the one Gram relied on, but it was as if...she needed Andi’s help less and less. She had so many friends, so much to do, that Andi was starting to feel less important.

Gram smiled up at her as she shooed her out. “Get on home. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure thing, Gram.” Andi forced a smile and then carefully locked the door.

As she walked back to her SUV parked on Main Street, Andi couldn’t figure out how she felt. She was relieved the debate was over. And in just a few days, she’d know whether she was unemployed. Ray’s offer was out there, and she needed to get back to Marcus Hightower. And then there was Mark. She hated seeing him but not being with him. She paused in front of the newspaper office and was not really surprised when the door swung open and he stepped onto the sidewalk.

“Excellent investigative skills, Mr. Taylor.” She pointed at the SUV, but then she had the stupid-hands syndrome again and crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

When he wrapped his arms around her, she sighed with relief.

“I wanted to congratulate you and...I don’t know. Apologize?” Mark said, “But mostly I want to hold you. I’ve missed you.”

When he didn’t continue, Andi tilted her head up to look at him.

Mark’s lips tightened before he said in a rush, “I don’t know how far we can go if you can’t trust me. I can’t live like that, not again.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

Mark shook his head.

“Okay, maybe it is a little bit, but I am listening to you. I reread the story after Ralph told me he was the one who’d talked to you and I could see that...your story told the whole truth and not just the facts. I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion.” She rested her head on his shoulder. That was the best she could do for now.

She shivered as a cool breeze moved between them.

“An apology? Is that what I’m hearing? I can hardly believe my ears.” Mark kissed her temple and pulled her closer.

“I’ve just missed you so much. I picked up my phone to text you every twenty minutes.” Andi sighed. “Thank you for not giving up. Popping up when I least expect it. Watching out the window for me. Whatever.”

Mark rubbed his warm hands up and down her back and Andi took a deep breath. This was comfortable. This was what she’d been missing. She didn’t want to move. Ever.

“Okay, but you need to know I can keep promises. I might work too hard. I might find it impossible to let a puzzle go, but I can keep promises. And I swear I won’t print anything I find out because of our relationship without your permission. I’m a man and I...need you to trust me, believe in me.”

Andi understood where he was coming from. She didn’t know how fast she could get to where he wanted her to be.

“But I understand it takes time. I wanted to... I guess I needed to let you know that it...” Mark broke off and snorted a laugh. “Ugh, it hurt my feelings, okay?”

Andi smiled up at him. “You’re such a girl.”

He pulled her closer and hugged her to his chest. “I know. I’m sensitive. You’ll have to carry my heart with kid gloves or I’ll cry.”

“And I’ll be sure to keep a clean hanky at all times.” She looked away and then said in a rush, “Are we talking about your heart? Because I think we might be talking about...mine.”

Mark kissed her sweetly. This time she could feel the smile on his lips but there was heat there, too. Standing there, on that sidewalk, on a breezy, cool October night, Andi was more content than she’d ever been. Mark sighed. “I’m afraid so. And it’s scary. I wasn’t planning on this.”

Andi didn’t say anything.

“Apparently I don’t do slow. I just jump right into things.”

Andi snorted. “Oh, really.”

She could feel the vibration of his laugh as she rested her head on his shoulder. He squeezed her tighter. “But for both of us, you have to decide where you want to live your life. Win or lose, Ray’s made it clear you have a job here. All you have to do now is decide Tall Pines is home.”

When Andi forced herself to step back and slowly pull her hands away, she was glad to see he looked even unhappier to let her go. “You’re right. But there’s something I need to do before I can.”

“Well, sure. We all have to cast our votes in the upcoming election, don’t we?”

Andi tried to smile, but she was alarmed when the prickle of tears started again. By the look on his face, Mark was alarmed, too. “Don’t cry. Win or lose, this election is just another day, you know?”

Andi sniffed. “Right. You’re absolutely right. Win or lose, it’s just a day. I still need to figure out if this place will ever fit me, if I can ever be who I am here.”

Mark sighed. “Andi, you and I both know that being yourself...that’s not something you’ve been great at here or away. But you need to find the place where you can. Ask yourself what’s really important? What do you want more than anything?”

There were so many answers to that question. “I want to be happy. That’s all.”

Mark’s eyebrows shot up. “Good answer, Sheriff. Mine’s the same. What will make
you
happy? Will going back to Atlanta and helping to save the world do it?”

Andi frowned. “Shouldn’t it?”

Mark sighed again, even more loudly. “What’s so great about Atlanta, Andi?”

“Do you know what it’s like to live where everyone knows your biggest heartbreaks? No, you don’t. That’s Tall Pines for me. My father, my mother...everyone here watched me live it. In Atlanta, I don’t have to be that girl. I can be strong and smart and who I am today.” She forced herself to meet his gaze. He needed to understand. “In Atlanta, I can focus on working hard, making a difference. Here I have to spend too much time getting over the past.”

Andi took a deep breath to push back the tears burning her eyes. “But now...I can also say how much I’d hate to leave Tall Pines. I’d miss my family, even Edna. And I can’t even believe how much you’ve come to matter to me in a few weeks. I...appreciate everything you’ve done. And I’m sorry my head’s all over the place. I think...I’m going back to Atlanta after the election, just to...see.”

Mark’s face was serious as he nodded. “I hope you’ll make me the first or second person you call once you decide.”

Andi turned to go but decided then and there that she was going to change, ask for more, get what she wanted. He reached out a hand when she turned back, and she stepped into his embrace. With her head on his shoulder again, she said, “You know, they have newspapers in Atlanta. Good ones. Probably.”

Mark’s arms tightened around her, and she could feel his sudden tension.

“You aren’t...I mean, are you suggesting that even if you go back to Atlanta, maybe...”

Andi kissed his cheek. “I have no idea what I’m saying. I’m so tired right now I could be spouting complete nonsense, but there’s... I don’t want to say goodbye to you, so I just wondered if you’d ever...”

Mark leaned back to look at her.

She shrugged. “I’d be back with the FBI, and you’d be covering more than the elementary school field day. We could make such a difference. Together.”

Mark stepped back. “I just pulled myself out of that rat race, Andi. I don’t know if I can go back.” He rubbed his forehead. “Besides, think about how much happiness we could have here. We have family and friends. I have a job I love and you could, too. Happiness, Andi. Remember what you said you wanted? Maybe...I think the best place to find that is here.”

Andi was having a hard time catching her breath. If she went to Atlanta, she’d be on her own. But that was fine. She’d done it before. She could again.

Mark shook his head. “But...maybe I’ll give Atlanta some thought, too.”

“So you aren’t saying no to me, then, just Atlanta.”

Mark narrowed his eyes at her. “If you’re in Atlanta, I’m not sure I can say no to either, but the job, my work, almost killed me, did kill my relationships.”

Doing her best to ignore Mark’s weary eyes and the way his smile had vanished, Andi kissed him softly and had to blink back tears.

She slid behind the wheel of her SUV and made the short drive home without looking back.

Two seconds after Mojo descended on his cat food as if he’d been on a diet for days, she fell into bed.

Andi didn’t sleep the entire weekend away, but it was a close call. Nettie and Gram made it to church without her on Sunday, and she lazed on the couch with a remote in her hand. About four times every hour she picked up the phone to call Mark and ask him to come over, but each time she put it back down and forced herself to pick up her knitting needles. She’d cast on a spare set with the skein of yarn he’d given her. Maybe she could have a pair finished by Christmas. Maybe they’d still be together at Christmas. Or maybe he’d have something to remember her by.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

O
N
THE
NIGHT
of the election, Mark, Tammy, Peter and Andi were in the family room at Shady Pines with Gram and about a million of her closest cronies. Andi was happy to see Gram teasing her friends, but she still felt like the outsider here. The television was on, and everyone chatted or laughed until election results flashed across the screen. Rose and her sister Edna whispered in the back corner, while Miss Margaret did her best to perform hostess duties with a tray of juice and cookies. Mark held her hand, but they didn’t say much.

When her cell rang, Andi knew it had to be the results.

“Hello?”

“Sheriff Jackson, this is Elbert Brown. I’m calling with the results of the election. Ray Evans has won the race by a margin of nearly ten percent. I’d like to confirm these results. Do you have any concerns over the election or the outcome?”

“No, Mr. Brown, I concede the race.”

Andi had no idea what he said after that. She hung up and took a deep breath. And she didn’t have to explain anything. Everyone had heard and their faces showed their discomfort. Everyone except Gram.

And all at once, Andi was free. It was the craziest feeling. She hadn’t felt free since...the day before her father turned the whole world upside down. She’d been living with the weight of proving herself to Tall Pines since then, and it had taken a vote to convince her that she had all the approval she needed. Gram had a big smile on her face. Mark winked when Andi laughed out loud, and Tammy collapsed against the couch and said, “I’m glad this one’s over.”

Now she had to choose her own direction. She’d decide what sort of change she wanted to make. It was amazing to have that freedom. And scary.

Mark scooted off the couch to stand in front of Andi. “Congratulations, beautiful Andi, on losing the race. I’ll be heading over to ask Ray Evans if he’s got anything to say for tomorrow’s paper.” He squeezed her hand. “Did you want to make a statement?”

She needed to think about it. “I’ll email you?”

He smiled. “Sure, but I need it fast. I’ll be working late to get it to the printer tonight.” Andi nodded and he waved at the rest of the election party and left.

Tammy and Peter hugged her and made a quick getaway. The room slowly emptied as a few people stopped to give Andi their condolences. Edna and Rose were the first out the door. Andi imagined their telephone lines would be glowing red like stove-top burners.

When everyone was gone, Gram sighed and patted Andi’s hand. “Okay?”

She was. She had no idea what she’d do, but it was going to be okay. “Yes, ma’am. I’m going home to think about a gracious way to say ‘thank you for not voting for me,’ and tomorrow I’ll pack for a quick trip to Atlanta.”

Gram patted her hand again. “That’s a solid plan.”

Andi walked her grandmother to her unit and as soon as she rolled through the doorway, Gram turned and said, “Go on home and get some sleep. Don’t forget to lock up.”

Andi raised her eyebrow at that reminder and snorted. She kissed her grandmother’s cheek and said, “Got it, Gram.”

They were both smiling when she turned the lock on the knob, stepped out and pulled the door shut behind her. She walked over to the sheriff’s SUV and slid behind the wheel to drive herself home.

When she made it in, Andi quieted Mojo’s yowls with a nice bowl of premium cat food and went to sit in front of her computer. She was so tired, but she knew her mind would turn over and over until she wrote something. She opened her laptop and clicked to create a new message. She addressed it to Mark and filled in the subject line with
Concession Speech,
then she tapped her fingers against the desk. There was no point in doing anything but sticking with the high road.

Finally she wrote,
I’d like to congratulate Ray Evans. The voters have chosen an honorable man who will serve the town and the county well.

She hit Send, and then on impulse entered Mark’s name in the web search. When she scanned the list of results, she saw that most of them were articles with the state paper. She clicked the first and read an in-depth report about corruption in the state capital. The next one was about voter fraud in the last presidential election. As she quickly opened and scanned each article, she saw stories on political races large and small, investigations of fraud and corruption, and a few cold-case mystery investigations. The second page of results turned up three awards for journalism, one from the state newspaper association and two from national committees.

Nobody accomplished this without a whole lot of work and care. And she could understand why he needed a change. Tall Pines meant a whole new life, his own chance to be happy instead of being the best. He was going to stay right here. She needed to find out if she was ready to do the same. She sent off another quick email to Marcus Hightower, requesting a meeting. It was time to make a decision and the only way to do that was to head back to Atlanta.

* * *

A
FTER
TWO
DAYS
of dodging Mark and accepting well-meaning condolences every time she stuck her head out of her office, Andi was glad to be back in Atlanta. She’d taken Marcus Hightower’s first available appointment and booked an expensive direct flight. As soon as she’d dropped her bags in the standard room of a business-class hotel, she went out for her favorite Thai food and then fell into bed.

The next morning, she blamed the nagging feeling that nothing was quite as good as she remembered on her lingering travel anxiety. And she wished she’d had someone to share her pad Thai with.

Andi watched the cabdriver bang out a drum solo and decided she was ready to take on the day. She’d slept better than she thought she might. Andi had expected all her worries about Gram to plague her the minute her plane had taken off, but she’d left Gram at Purl’s Place in Tammy’s capable hands the day before.

She glanced out the window at the parking lot that was the freeway and realized she’d either forgotten or blocked out how bad the traffic was around Atlanta. Andi glanced at her phone to check the time and tried to calm her nerves. She still had plenty of time.

“First trip to Atlanta?” the driver asked.

“Oh, no, I lived here, but it’s been a while since I’ve been back. Traffic’s worse than I remembered, though.”

The driver waved his hand. “No doubt, miss. Always count on that.” He went back to tapping and inched toward their exit as Andi’s phone rang.

“Morning, Gram.”

“Miss FBI, I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world with your interview.”

“Thank you.” She hadn’t told Gram yet that she was pretty sure the job was hers. Gram would tell her to take it. And then...she’d have to face the fact that Gram had never been what was holding her in Tall Pines.

“Nettie’s on her way and we’re planning to fleece Rose and Edna out of all their spending money with a stiff game of Texas Hold ’Em, but I didn’t want to miss the chance to say how proud I am of you.”

Andi felt the sting of tears as she stared out the window. “Gram, you never really needed me at all, did you? I just... I guess I wanted to think you did.”

Andi heard Gram laugh. “Oh, honey, I do need you, and if it made you happy to live five minutes away, I’d be so pleased, but more than I need visits, I need you to be happy. Your whole life that’s all I wanted and it’s the only thing you don’t see. Forget about what other people think. Do what you want. You had a dream. You made it come true. Not everybody can say that. And you deserve it. So go ace that interview. Get that job. And we’ll celebrate when you get back.”

Andi watched the tall buildings pass as she tried to figure out how to ask her next question. “Gram, what if...” Her heart was pounding as if she were running a race. “What if my dream is different now?”

Gram didn’t answer immediately. “Well, then, I’d say...go after your new dream. I mean, you’ve done it once. You can do it again and I’ll help. So will Tammy. And Mark...” Gram sniffed. “Is this about Mark?”

Andi wasn’t sure how to answer. “Yes and no.”

Gram chuckled. “Gotta say, I love that answer, Miss FBI. Means he’s important, but he isn’t the only thing. And that’s exactly how it should be.”

Andi laughed. “Think he’d be as happy to hear it?”

“Well, now, I don’t know. I’ll ask him at dinner tonight.”

The cab pulled up in front of the FBI field office, and Andi fumbled with her wallet to pull out cash while she clutched her phone in the other hand. She paid the driver with a smile and said, “Keep the change.”

As she straightened her favorite pantsuit, she asked, “You’re having dinner with Mark?”

“He asked right before I called you. And I said yes.” Andi could picture the twinkle in Gram’s eye. “The boy’s darn persistent in a way I gotta admire, you know?”

Andi shook her head. She really did know.

“Do you have a message you’d like me to pass on?” Andi could hear the metallic clink of her grandmother’s doorbell.

“Sounds like Nettie’s there.” Andi smoothed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Gram, I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow. And just tell Mark... I don’t know. Maybe tell him why I’m such a good catch.”

Gram laughed. “I will most certainly do that, Andrea Louise Jackson. I’ve got that speech memorized. Good luck now.”

“Thanks, Gram.” Andi ended the call and took three deep breaths as she stared at the doors. She’d spent a lot of time in this building. It shouldn’t feel so...intimidating.

She straightened her shoulders, pasted on her best poker face and kept it firmly in place as she talked to the receptionist and made it through security.

Marcus Hightower himself met her at the elevator. “Jackson, I’m happy you finally made it.” He held out his hand and she shook it. Then he turned sharply and led her back to his office. As they wended through the halls and desks, Andi noticed very few familiar faces and no one gave her more than a cursory glance. After a couple years of being under constant scrutiny, it was nice...until she realized she didn’t know these people, they didn’t know her and they probably never would.

When she’d started in Atlanta, the anonymity had been such a blessing. She didn’t have to worry so much about missteps or even what people would say about her choices. But now that she was back, the building was cold and it wasn’t just the stark furnishings and institutional-gray color scheme. She paused in front of her old desk. It was bare but set up like someone could pull the chair out, have a seat and get right to work. When she’d worked there, she hadn’t added much to the space. Now the idea of sliding into that perfectly quiet desk chair and working the hours she had before felt more like...a job instead of a mission.

“Have a seat.”

Andi perched on the edge of the leather chair opposite her former boss. She’d never been quite comfortable in his office. Or in his presence. He was the picture of a company man with his dark suits and ties, conservative haircut and stern face.

But he’d given her a chance. And she was certain he appreciated the work she did.

“Lost the election, did you? How soon can you start? I need somebody with your focus, drive.”

Andi smoothed sweaty palms down her pants leg. “Sir, thank you for taking time out to meet with me. I wasn’t sure what my plan was until I sat down in your chair.”

He tapped one finger on his desk twice. That was his only reaction.

“But I think... I think the time I spent as sheriff showed me that—while I loved my work here—my home...it’s in Tall Pines.” She almost couldn’t believe how easily the words rolled off her tongue or the feeling of rightness she got in the pit of her stomach.

“You had to come all the way here to make the decision?”

Andi nodded. “Yes, sir, and I do appreciate your time, but...until I came back, I couldn’t really decide between the now Tall Pines and the now Atlanta. Before I went home, I thought Tall Pines would always stay the same, but it’s changed so much. I needed to know if Atlanta had changed, too.”

“Has it?”

Andi shook her head. “Not at all. But the way I feel about it...yes.”

Marcus Hightower huffed out a breath. “So you’re saying you’ve changed.”

Andi smiled. “Yes, sir, I absolutely have.”

One corner of his mouth quirked up. “Nothing I can do to change your mind? New desk? Need help getting your husband a new job? Kids...” He frowned. “Do you have kids?” Then he shook his head as if he realized how ridiculous the question was.

And that was enough. The person who knew her best in Atlanta had just asked if she and her imaginary husband had kids. Andi stood and held out her hand. “No, sir, and I won’t waste any more of your time.”

He shook her hand. “Anything changes, you call me, Jackson.”

“Thank you, sir.” Instead of a poker face, Andi fought to contain a relieved smile as she left the building. When she slid into the cab, she thought about calling Gram or Mark or both of them, but she decided against it. She still had a little thinking to do.

“Where to?”

Andi had an early flight home but she could get a lot done with the rest of the day. “Lenox Square Mall.”

If she was headed back to Tall Pines, now was a good time for some retail therapy and a nice restaurant meal or two. Andi leaned back against her seat and tried to figure out just what she was going to say to Mark.

She pulled out her phone to text him.

I heard you’re stepping out with another woman tonight. Should I be worried?

She stared at the phone until he answered.

Heard you’d left town. Should I be worried?

So maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d hoped.

Just doing a little shopping. I’ll be home tomorrow. Lunch at Jackie’s?

The cab was rolling to a stop when she saw his answer.

Meet you there at 1. But are you supposed to be shopping without Gram?

Andi smiled.
No, and don’t tell her!
As soon as she hit Send, she wished she’d added...

I’ve missed you. Looking forward to lunch tomorrow. xMark

Mark had beaten her to it. Andi handed cash to the cabdriver and slid out before she answered.