A Matter of Trust (3 page)

“
Thanks, Jake. Heaven
knows I try. It’s the most important job I’ve ever had in my life.
I’m so worried I’ll screw it up. They already have a strike against
them, since they don’t have a father around. I just want them to
grow up and be happy.”

“
I’d say they’re off to a
great start. It must be hard being on your own.”

“
Sometimes. But in some
ways, it’s easier.”

“
How so?”

“
Listen to me, going on
and on. I’m sure you’re not interested in the pros and cons of
single parenthood.”

“
Sure, I am. I care about
you and the kids, and I am interested. What were you going to
say?”

“
When you have two
parents, although that’s best for the kids in the long run usually,
there are lots of things that come up that you disagree on. Like
going to church every Sunday instead of sleeping in, or how to
discipline the kids when they misbehave. It’s hard to agree on
things all the time.” Serious again, Trish got ready to set dinner
on the table.

Jake missed her smile. “I guess it
would be a good idea to try to square away as much of that stuff
before you have kids as possible. There are always going to be
surprises and unplanned things that come up in a marriage, but I’d
think trying to find middle ground beforehand would be a good
idea.”

“
Yeah, that’s true.
Unfortunately, you never really know a person before you marry
them. You think you do, but they often turn out to be someone
entirely different from the person you thought you knew and loved.
Life is just full of nasty surprises.”

“
Are you speaking from
experience, Trish?”

Trish tensed visibly. “Yeah. Now, it’s
time to eat.”

What happened to you,
Trish? What turned you off of love and marriage and trust? Someday,
you’ll tell me. Then I’ll prove to you sometimes it’s worth taking
a chance on people.

“
It sure smells good.
Thanks for having me over.” Jake took the salad from her and walked
over to the table to set it down.

“
Sure. It’s nice to have
company and adult conversation for a change. Have a seat, and I’ll
take the manicotti out of the oven.”

The rest of the evening passed by
quickly, and both of them took extra care to steer away from
serious topics. Jake concentrated on making Trish laugh and relax.
He helped her with the dishes and cleaning up, even though she told
him he didn’t have to, and they said goodnight early, as Trish had
Saturday morning story time to prepare for the next day. They
hugged goodbye, and Jake kissed her on the cheek, a new addition to
their goodbye rituals from the past. It was nice.

Trish stayed up late again, and felt
exhausted when the alarm went off at six the next morning. She
gathered her materials and headed off to the Lit Center early to
get a head start on some work. Saturday mornings were reserved for
giving back to the community. There was no charge for attending
story time, and more and more kids were showing up with and without
their parents to listen to books being read aloud and to
participate in fun activities like acting out scenes, drawing a
picture board, and reader’s theater afterwards. She alternated
reading Saturdays with writing Saturdays when kids wrote their own
stories and got to sit in the fancy red velvet Author’s chair Trish
found at a garage sale and share them aloud with others.

“
Nice crowd today,
girlfriend.” Callie came to stand next to Trish as she scanned the
room to make sure everything ran smoothly.

“
Yes, it is. The Story
Time classes are really catching on. I had my doubts they would,
but we’re building a nice following. Some of them come back for
extra help during the week, so free Saturdays end up bringing in
money in the long run sometimes.”

“
So, what’s on the agenda
today? Are they reading or writing?”

“
A little of both,
actually. Today is poetry day. We’ve got several fun poems to read
to them, then they get to write their own. The best of both worlds,
I guess.” Trish smiled at her friend and business partner. “Where’s
Eva? We’re usually a trio on Saturday mornings, but I haven’t seen
her yet.”

“
She’s finalizing this
afternoon’s session. We have a guest speaker today from The El Paso
Women’s Services. They’ll hear about some great resources available
to them.” Saturday afternoons at the Lit Center were reserved for
self improvement classes for victims staying in the battered
women’s shelter to attend. Callie and Eva talked to them about how
to find jobs, conduct an interview, apply make-up and fix hair and
dress professionally, and most of all, they tried to instill some
self-confidence, which the ladies always lacked. Eva served
particularly well in that capacity, since she had been a battered
wife herself and had moved on with her life.

Moving on. Trish knew firsthand how
difficult that was to do. She’d been on her own since the death of
her husband over two years ago, and she still struggled at times.
She’d like to think she’d moved on like Eva had, but after talking
with Jake last night, she knew she still struggled with forgiveness
and bitterness leftover from her marriage. She didn’t want to feel
those things, but she had yet to put them behind her.

“
Y’all need some help?
With the kids gone, I’ve got some time to spare.” Trish offered her
time gladly. Although she hadn’t been physically abused by Pete,
she sure knew the difficulty in picking up the shattered pieces of
what she’d thought would be a good life.

“
That’s sweet of you,
Trish, but we’ve got it covered. You should go home and get some
rest. You’re looking tired these days. Take advantage of some down
time with the babies gone. You need it, whether you think so or
not.” Callie continued to study her friend, and Trish knew she saw
the red eyes and dark circles underneath.

“
I’ve got some paperwork
to do, then I’ll relax a little. There’s just so much to do, and
having the house to myself allows for accomplishing a lot more in a
shorter amount of time. That’s what I need to take advantage
of.”

The morning sessions with the kids
wound down, and Trish started in on her paperwork while her friends
helped the ladies from the battered women’s shelter. They made her
think of her own marriage again.

It had all started out so sweetly. She
and Pete had been high school sweethearts, and she thought they’d
known each other as well as they’d known themselves. It wasn’t
until much later – two kids later – that she’d finally seen the
real man who’d made it a point to hide the truth from her for so
long. By then, the life she’d thought she’d been leading went to
hell in a hand basket seemingly overnight, and she found herself
and her kids destitute and practically living on the streets. Thank
God she’d had her parents to fall back on.

Her time with Jake the night before
brought all the bitterness to the surface again. She remembered
when she’d been like him, looking forward to sharing a future with
someone, building a life together. But that was before she’d
actually been married. Walking the walk had proved a hell of a lot
harder than talking the talk. She didn’t want to be bitter. She
just wanted to live her life and raise her kids. Alone. Just like
running the Lit Center, she didn’t trust anyone but herself to do
things right and get the job done. There would never be room in her
life again for a relationship with a man. Too risky, too unsure,
and too messy. She had her kids, and that was enough.

However much she reminded herself of
that, Trish sometimes felt lonely. She wouldn’t allow herself to
think of when her kids were grown and gone. After everything she’d
been through the last few years, she still caught herself
daydreaming about belonging to someone and having a partner to
share her life with, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes,
she got tired of being strong. Sometimes, she wished there was
someone around to lean on. Then, she’d remember the hell of the
past and snap herself out of it.

The afternoon classes finished, and
Callie and Eva made her promise to be wearing something slinky and
sexy when they picked her up around seven for girls’ night. Which
meant she’d either have to go shopping or root around in her closet
for something she hadn’t worn in years. She doubted seriously that
she owned anything sexy anymore. Ugh, shopping.

Trish went to the mall and
rediscovered that shopping could indeed be fun, especially when you
didn’t have two little kids to wag around with you. She found a
cute, short skirt and a form fitting cashmere sweater to go with
it. High heeled black suede boots were the perfect compliment.
Nothing revealed too much, but she knew she looked like a million
bucks in the ensemble, and yes, she looked pretty sexy if she did
say so herself. She decided to wear her long, honey blond hair down
and curled. With a little bit of help from Estee Lauder – which
helped cover the dark circles under her eyes – she felt ready to
have some fun.

When she heard someone honk, she
grabbed her purse and a short, black, leather jacket and locked the
door behind her. It surprised her to see Jake’s black Avalanche in
the driveway and climbed into the shotgun position since Eva and
Callie already sat in the back seat.

Jake had to remind himself to breathe
after he saw Trish walking toward the truck. He’d never seen her
like this before, at least not since she’d been single. ‘Wow’ was
all he could think when he saw her.

Trish fastened the seatbelt and
exchanged greetings with everyone. “I thought this was a girls’
night. How’d you get roped into this, Jake?”

He pulled himself together with an
effort and answered her question. “I’m the DD tonight. Apparently,
it’s been decided that you’re all going to paint the town tonight,
and since these ladies are coupled up, it went against some kind of
girls’ code to allow a significant other to drive. Something about
cramping their style. So, since I’m unattached to any of you, I
have the distinguished honor of being your chauffer for the
evening.”

Trish smiled. “You poor guy. I’ll try
to make it as painless as possible for you. If you play your cards
right, I may even be able to slip you a drink or two.”

“
I take my
responsibilities very seriously. Just Coke for me tonight, but
thanks for the thought.”

Callie chimed in. “You look amazing,
Trish. You should dress like that more often. The hair and makeup
are great, too. You may be a mother, but you’re also a
woman.”

Callie’s enthusiasm made Trish smile.
“Mother first, teacher second, woman a distant third, Callie. But
thanks for the compliment. You guys look great, too.”

Eva wore a little black dress with
strappy high heels, and Callie had on a royal blue, shapely short
dress with matching high heeled pumps.

Eva said, “I kind of miss my jeans,
but it’s fun to dress up sometimes. And the hot look that Josh gave
me when I came out of the bedroom to wait for Jake and Callie, not
to mention those heated goodbye kisses he laid on me before I left,
made it all worth it. I love you, girls, you know I do, but leaving
Josh tonight came hard. The man has some serious kissing
skills.”

“
Cade laid a few kisses on
me, too, when I got ready to go. Blue is his favorite color, but I
doubt it was the color of my dress that got him going. He’s so
cute.” Callie smiled that ‘I’m so in love’ smile as she talked
about her husband.

“
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t
want to hear any more about it from you two. I’m going home alone
tonight, as usual, so don’t talk about anything steamy waiting at
home for you, please.”

“
Who says you have to go
home alone, Trish? Maybe you’ll meet someone interesting tonight.
No kids or parents at home to witness. You should keep an open
mind.” Callie enlisted Eva’s help, and they both nodded in
agreement.

Jake entered the conversation with,
“Callie, leave the woman alone. There’s nothing wrong with going
home alone.”

Callie laughed. “Onward, Jake.
Chauffeurs are not supposed to join in on the conversation. Trish
is young, beautiful, and single. If she meets someone interesting,
there’s no reason why she shouldn’t enjoy her freedom.”

Trish rolled her eyes and added, “This
is a moot point, since I have no intention of either meeting anyone
interesting or bringing anyone home with me. This is girls’ night,
and I’m here to have some fun. Clean fun, I might add. I have an
example to set.”

Eva persisted with, “When the cat’s
away …”

“
I don’t need a man to
have a good time, ladies. Men are overrated. Present company
excluded, of course.” Trish smiled at Jake in apology.

“
Of course. Thanks for the
bone.” Trish smiled again, and he winked his eye. He sure was good
looking, and that flirtatious little wink of the eye did funny
things to her stomach.

They arrived at Carlos and Mickey’s
and arranged to sit in the bar at a table close enough to hear the
Mariachis, but far enough to allow for conversation. Jake went to
sit at the bar, so they got their girl time in, and Trish had a
chair facing his back. He sipped his coke and started making
business calls to check on the various job sites he worked on, and
Trish noticed there were several women making eyes at him, although
he seemed pretty oblivious.