Authors: Juli Valenti
The knock at the door made her jump, and she asked who it was.
“It’s Officer Jay and Officer Miles. It’s safe to open the door, ma’am.”
“Would you please hold your badges up so I can see them?” she asked, standing on tip-toe to look out the peephole. Two authentic silver badges appeared in her line of sight. Her hand shook as she slid the chain lock off the door, unlocked the deadbolt, and opened the door.
The officers watched her for a moment, and then walked around her into her living room. The glass crunched loudly under their boots as they moved. As she started to close the door, she saw graffiti there.
Baby Killer
was written in big block letters with red spray paint. She blanched, pressing the door shut and backing into the middle of the room quickly.
“Ma’am, you need to put pressure on your hand. That is a pretty nasty cut, and is going to continue to bleed if you don’t,” one of them said, reaching over the kitchen bar to grab a hand towel. He tentatively held it out to her, a hopeful look on his face.
Jessie had already forgotten she was bleeding. She took the offered towel, pressing it to her palm. This seemed to appease the officer, who then began to inspect the brick on the floor, the note, and the window.
“Unfortunately, ma’am, there’s not a lot we can do about this now. You can contact the apartment manager in the morning about getting it fixed up, but we can tape some garbage bags over it for you now, in case it rains. Management should also be able to remove the paint on the door. We will go ahead and keep an officer stationed nearby to keep an eye on things for you until this all blows over.” This officer, while polite, also sounded annoyed at the situation. His annoyance bothered her a little bit. She was scared, hurt – emotionally and physically, and he was annoyed that someone had decided to threaten her.
“Fine, but don’t bother with the window. I don’t mind the rain. Thank you.” Jessie’s words were clipped as she opened the front door once more, and waved her hand out in front of her, motioning for the men to walk through and leave. She was kicking herself for thinking that the police would actually care, that they would actually try to help her.
The officers shared a look then walked out, turning to face the door as she shut it in their faces.
***
Jessie hadn’t called her parents, nor had they called her – they’d finally given up. No one had called her. She hadn’t seen or talked to anyone since the officers left her house two weeks ago. She’d hardly moved, and hardly eaten since her son passed away. She knew she was wasting away, and nothing seemed to break her out of the hell she was living in.
One night, in an attempt to do something other than stare at the TV without hearing it, she sat down at her computer. The browser’s home page came up, her Facebook feed chiming happily about her friends eating chicken with mashed potatoes. She felt the corners of her lips turn down.
Who the hell cares what they ate?
she thought, bitterly. Her world seemed so much different than those of her peers, though only a few weeks ago, she was just like them. It felt like years ago, not weeks, that she was posting pictures, checking in at every place they ventured, and described what she ate to those she thought cared about it. Every breath she took now was harder than the last, and she felt as though the world just continued to close in on her.
Jessie stood, and looked around her apartment. All the furniture was the same, but it seemed so different. Dark. There was no life in this house, regardless of her being in it. She was just as innate as everything there. The stack of envelopes on the counter grabbed her attention. She knew what they were, last notice bills. June’s bills had been paid, but July was coming. Jessie had been a stay-at-home mom since she had gotten pregnant, and the only money she had was Ryan’s final paycheck and the money she had started saving to open a college fund for her son. She knew it wouldn’t be enough for everything: rent, insurance, electric, gas, water, trash, cable, Internet, it was endless. She sighed, looking away.
Moving to sit on the couch, Jessie sat with her head in her hands. She hated everything here. She could still smell Ryan’s cologne, and the sweet perfume of her baby boy. She hated it. Smelling them made her forget, for a moment, that they were gone – in different ways, sure, but still gone. She hated the people who had keyed her car and broken her window. She hated going outside, driving, even the weather. There were too many memories there, in the apartment, in the town, even in the whole state. She just wanted to disappear.
An idea came to her then. She went back to her computer and started to plan.
Chapter Eight
Three Months Later
Jessie yawned as she counted out her till, double checking the numbers to make sure they matched.
“Hey, Jessie, we’re all going to go hit downtown Ybor, do you want to come with us?” Toni, her coworker, was a tiny little thing, standing maybe five foot three. She made Jessie feel like a giant, though she was always very nice to her. The girls at the diner had taken to inviting her out lately, even though she had turned them down each time. Toni, especially, was not easily discouraged.
“Thanks, Toni, but I’m just going to go home.”
Toni started to turn away from her, but stopped and turned back to face Jessie.
“No, Jessie. Not today. You’re going. You’ve been here, what,
three
months? You’re always alone, and you’re always sad. You will go, or I will…make you!”
Jessie looked down at her for a moment, taken aback by the force in Toni’s voice. She rarely raised her voice, unlike some of the others, which is probably why out of all them, Toni was the one she got along with best.
“And how do you plan to ‘make’ me, Toni?” A small smile lifted the corner of Jessie’s mouth before she could squash it. Toni saw it and smiled wide in response. Jessie realized it was probably the first time she’d ever shown anything other than her blank face to anyone since her arrival. Schooling her face, Jessie started again.
“No, really, Tones, thank you – I appreciate the invite, I do, but it’s already late and I’m working the morning shift. My only plans consist of going home and hitting the sack.”
Toni watched her face for a long moment, before nodding, disappointed.
“One day, I’m going to ask, and you aren’t going to turn me down, Jessie.” With that, Toni caught up to the other three girls waiting for her, and left, sparing one last glance at her before the door shut behind them.
Jessie locked the front door as it closed, flipped the light switch, and leaned against the glass, taking in the little diner. It felt like home to her, in the short amount of time she’d worked there. The tables that lined the glass wall up one side and down the other created a “U” shape and there was plenty of walking space between it and the bar. The bar area sat almost directly in the middle of the room, but instead of it looking retro with a metallic finish, it was done in an oak-colored wood, the cushioned stools lined up to match. Pictures decorated the open spaces on the walls; they ranged from the owner’s family to kiddie sports teams, and even signed celebrity photos. With its darkly finished hardwood floors and soothing sand colored walls, the diner was a relaxing place for patrons to eat, many of them becoming daily fixtures in the place.
Inhaling deeply, she gathered herself, and walked back over to the counter to finish closing out her till in the peaceful darkness. When she was done, she dropped the money bag in the safe drop and let herself out of the diner, locking up behind her. It was late, almost midnight, as she began the walk to her studio apartment. Luckily, it wasn’t far, which was why she didn’t bother getting her car out of the three-story parking garage to drive to and from work. It took almost six weeks for Jessie to gather enough courage to walk, and she discovered that it was a good distraction from the world.
When Jessie had logged onto her Internet three months ago, she brought up a map, closed her eyes, and pointed to the screen. Her finger had landed on Florida. Direction decision made, she had packed her car with as many clothes as possible, what little food she had left in the apartment, and drove the thousand or so miles to Tampa. Upon her arrival, Jessie realized that she hadn’t thought very far ahead, as she knew no one and had nowhere to live, but she had determination. Demons, she learned, were quite the motivation. She stopped at every restaurant she saw for ten miles, applying to each one. At the second to last place she applied, the diner, she was hired on the spot to start immediately.
Jessie cringed at the thought of that first afternoon. She was terrified and completely unprepared for the emotional assault she had to deal with by working among so many people. All she had been thinking was that she needed money. It was that thought that had her choking back whimpers of panic as she tried to remember food orders, all the while keeping a pleasant look plastered on her face. Frequent stops to the bathroom to freak out, and coffee, helped her get through the day. She probably only got about ten percent of her orders right that day, and was certain Mr. Castellanos, Mr. C he’d said to call him, was going to let her go. She couldn’t blame the portly, yet kind, man. However, when she finished her shift he smiled gently at her, his eyes lighting up as he looked at her, and told her to be there two days later. He also mentioned that he had seen a sign for a small apartment close by for rent the other day, though she had no idea how he knew she needed a place.
Since then, she learned that Mr. Castellanos was very good at judging people, and had delicately told the other employees to give her space. He had somehow sensed that she had some deep-seated emotional trauma to work through, and wanted to help give her the opportunity to do so without any questions asked. Everyone listened to Mr. C and never once asked her where she came from, or what haunted her. For that, she was grateful. She simply wasn’t ready to talk about it to anyone.
The sound of an engine pulled Jessie from her reverie. Startled, she glanced over her shoulder to see a deep blue Toyota keeping pace with her. An attractive dark-haired man had his arm resting on the open window, and upon seeing he had her attention, smiled brightly at her. Dropping her gaze, she started walking faster.
“Wait!” he called after her.
The southern manners ingrained in her, forced her to stop and turn to him once more.
“Yes?” she asked, her voice hesitant. She knew it was a bad idea to talk to random people. Hell, she didn’t like talking to
anyone
, so why was she talking to him?
Bad idea, Jessie, you should have just kept walking,
she thought.
“You really shouldn’t be walking alone this late, it’s not safe.” His words were scolding, but there was a teasing glint in his eyes.
“I have Mace, I’m safe. Thanks for the concern,” she said, rolling her eyes as she turned to continue on.
“As safe as I know Mace to be, why don’t we go get coffee, and I can inform you of better forms of self-protection?”
She laughed abruptly, surprising herself. “No, thank you. I was taught better than to get in cars with strange men in the dark.”
“I suppose I could be considered strange, and it is dark, so I can’t blame you much, there. Can I ask your name?”
She thought about it, and decided there was no harm in telling him.
“Jessie. Braden.”
“Hello, Jessie, I’m Dominick, but you can call me Nick….Or Donny…or Dom… You know, whatever, as long as you talk to me.”
“You just don’t give up do you?” she asked him, lips turned up into a slight smile. There was something about him, something she couldn’t put her finger on.
“No. Well, I do, but not on you,” he answered.
Jessie heard the sincerity in his words, though she was skeptical. “You don’t even know me.”
“I want to. So, how about coffee?” he asked again, leaning farther out of his window.
“Sorry, but no.” Jessie began walking again, almost to her apartment.
Dominick frowned, but recovered quickly. “Suit yourself, Jessie, but you will be going for coffee with me.”
With that, he drove off, leaving Jessie standing on the sidewalk, a bit disappointed that he had left. To her surprise, she had enjoyed the light banter, and his humor.
Oh well, it’s for the best anyway
she chastised herself. She reached the door to her building, and, entering her code, let herself in and started up to her apartment.
Once inside her apartment, Jessie began her nightly routine. She brushed her teeth and hair, double checked the locks on the windows and door, and climbed into her bed. Her bed still remained a pallet of blankets on the floor. She supposed she could probably afford to buy a bed now, but it seemed a waste of money when she was perfectly comfortable on the floor now. As usual, thoughts began to flood her once she started to relax, only, to her surprise, they weren’t of the horrors of the last few months. Instead, she saw Dominick’s laughing eyes as he talked to her, and the teasing in his voice.
So, as she drifted to sleep, it wasn’t with a tear-soaked pillow. For the first time in months, she fell asleep with a small smile on her face, and something else. Hope.
Chapter Nine
“I just sat you a hottie, Jess,” Courtney, one of the diner’s only hostesses, whispered in her ear. “He’s at thirty-four, and he’s alone!”
Jessie raised her eyebrows. It was almost nine o’clock and she was pretty sure she was going to be cut soon. It was a slow night. Nodding, she grabbed her order book and made her way toward her newly, and only, seated table.
“Hello, can I get you something to –”Jessie stopped midsentence as familiar honey eyes looked up at her. In the light, he was even more handsome than he’d been just hanging out his car in the dark. His face was clean shaven, revealing a strong jaw line and a kind smile. She could smell his cologne and it was amazing, manly and musky at the same time.