Read A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex Online

Authors: Chris Jericho

Tags: #General, #Biography & Autobiography, #Sports & Recreation, #Biographies, #Wrestling

A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex

 

CONTENTS

 

DEDICATION

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE

 

COAUTHOR’S NOTE

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

 

FOREWORD

 

THE COUNT DOWN

 
 

PART ONE WINNIPEG

 
 

CHAPTER 1: SHUT UP, KID, OR I’LL SLAP YOUR FACE

 
 

CHAPTER 2: GROTTO VALLEY DEATH MATCH

 
 

CHAPTER 3: BODY SLAMS, BISCUITS, AND BIBLES

 
 

CHAPTER 4: MATH FOR HINDUS

 
 

PART TWO GALGARY

 
 

CHAPTER 5: THE OBVIOUS TRANSITION FROM ARCHERY TO WRESTLING

 
 

CHAPTER 6: I WOULD’VE SIGNED AWAY MY UNIT

 
 

CHAPTER 7: ROB BENOIT

 
 

PART THREE WICHITA AND ELSEWHERE

 
 

CHAPTER 8: IRON WILL

 
 

CHAPTER 9: THE PIED PIPER OF PONOKA

 
 

CHAPTER 10: HOW TO DRINK LIKE A WRESTLER

 
 

CHAPTER 11: PROPER CRACK-BUYING ETIQUETTE

 
 

CHAPTER 12: A HOT DOG AND A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE

 
 

CHAPTER 13: MY NAME IS CHRIS TOO

 
 

PART FOUR MEXICO

 
 

CHAPTER 14: THE WORST BALL-HUGGERS EVER

 
 

CHAPTER 15: TOILET WATER IS TOILET WATER

 
 

CHAPTER 16: THE GOAT BUS

 
 

CHAPTER 17: AN EMBARRASSING WAY TO DIE

 
 

CHAPTER 18: CORAZON DE POLLO

 
 

CHAPTER 19: HALCION BOWLING

 
 

CHAPTER 20: WHEN YOU LOSE A BROTHER

 
 

PART FIVE GERMANY

 
 

CHAPTER 21: THE TRIANGLE OF DECADENCE

 
 

CHAPTER 22: THE JERICHO CURSE

 
 

CHAPTER 23: THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT JERICHO

 
 

CHAPTER 24: MY FIRST FELONY!

 
 

PART SIX KNOXVILLE

 
 

CHAPTER 25: AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A WAL-MART PARTY

 
 

CHAPTER 26: TRUE TO THE CREW

 
 

CHAPTER 27: STRANGE KENTUCKY PEOPLE

 
 

CHAPTER 28: AIN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMOUS WRESTLER?

 
 

CHAPTER 29: MY WHITE WHALE

 
 

PART SEVEN JAPAN

 
 

CHAPTER 30: DONALDO MAKUDONALDO

 
 

CHAPTER 31: THE DOM DELUISE OF WRESTLING

 
 

CHAPTER 32: PRAY FOR BLOOD

 
 

CHAPTER 33: WRESTLE AND ROMANCE

 
 

CHAPTER 34: YASKY

 
 

CHAPTER 35: THE WHITE URKEL

 
 

CHAPTER 36: THE LOVELY LADS

 
 

CHAPTER 37: YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN JAPAN AGAIN

 
 

CHAPTER 38: CALGARY KIDS

 
 

CHAPTER 39: KENNY AND DOLLY

 
 

PART EIGHT PHILADELPHIA

 
 

CHAPTER 40: PRETTY BOYS WERE CRUCIFIED

 
 

CHAPTER 41: CAN YOU DIG IT?

 
 

CHAPTER 42: THE GOLDEN TICKET

 
 

PART NINE ATLANTA

 
 

CHAPTER 43: DOOMED FROM THE START

 
 

CHAPTER 44: BASKETBALL HIGHLIGHTS #12

 
 

CHAPTER 45: INDIAN CASTE SYSTEM

 
 

CHAPTER 46: CHRIS BIGALOW, ORIENTAL GIGOLO

 
 

CHAPTER 47: THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS, BABY

 
 

CHAPTER 48: CONSPIRACY VICTIM

 
 

CHAPTER 49: CRUISERWEIGHT PURGATORY

 
 

CHAPTER 50: DWARFBERG

 
 

CHAPTER 51: NO TICKEE, NO LAUNDRY

 
 

CHAPTER 52: SHE WAS MY DENSITY

 
 

PART TEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK

 
 

CHAPTER 53: TIME TO RACK

 
 

CHAPTER 54: ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG

 
 

CHAPTER 55: THE CLOCK HITS ZERO TONIGHT

 
 

REQUIEM

 

Copyright © 2007 by Chris Jericho

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

 

Grand Central Publishing

Hachette Book Group USA

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Visit our Web site at
www.HachetteBookGroupUSA.com
.

 

First eBook Edition: October 2007

 

ISBN: 0-446-40888-3

1. Jericho, Chris. 2. Wrestlers—Canada—Biography. 3. World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. I. Fornatale, Peter. II. Title.

 

 

DEDICATION

 

For Eddy

Friend, Colleague, Brother, Inspiration

 

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE

 
 

I
started working on this book in August of 2005 and finished it in May of 2007. It was a long process and a labor of love, and when the final manuscript was handed in I was convinced that it was exactly the way I wanted it to be.

The book was typeset and put into galley form (industry talk for pretty much finished, with no more changes allowed), and that was to be it.

But a horrible additional chapter unfolded.

One of the main characters in this book is Chris Benoit. He was a huge influence on my career and on my life, and he is a very important part of this story.

The majority of the events within this book focus on my life from 1990 to 1999. The Chris Benoit in this book is the one I knew within that same time frame. The man that I knew and loved exists within these pages, not the man that existed during the final days of his life.

Due to the tremendous understanding of the people at Grand Central Publishing, I was allowed to break the rules. I was able to make a few changes to the book and to write this message, and I thank them for that.

I just wish to God that I didn’t have to, and I pray for the souls of the departed.

 

CJ

 

 

COAUTHOR’S NOTE

 
 

F
irst, I want to say that this book is
not
an “as told to” autobiography. My role was to brainstorm ideas and help with organization and structure. The voice is 100 percent Chris Jericho.

Also, we chose to refer to Vince McMahon’s wrestling company as the WWF in most places throughout the book, because that’s what it was called when the events being described took place. It has since been renamed the WWE.

 

Peter Thomas Fornatale

Brooklyn, New York

 

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

 
 

To Jesus Christ for allowing me to live my dream. Thank you sir!

To Jessica my princess and the love of my life, for her belief and tolerance of me. To our children, Ash, Cheyenne, and Sierra, for teaching me how to be a man. Love is too small a word.

To my dad, Ted, for being my biggest supporter and my best friend.

To my mom, Loretta, for being my true hero and for teaching me how to love.

To Chad and Todd Holowatuk for being the brothers I always had.

To Grandma Jesse for getting me into this whole mess.

To Grandpa Jake for granting me amnesty.

To Auntie Joan for encouraging and sparking my creativity.

To Lance Storm, Lenny Olson, Mike Lozanski, and Bret Como for their friendship and for being there from the beginning. We toured the world and elsewhere…

To the Palko Family—Jerry, Bev, Brad, and Tyler. Without your love and support this journey never would’ve taken place.

To Chris Benoit for being a mentor, a big brother, and for always having my back. Love and respect to the man I knew.

To Mick Foley and Andy Summers, whose autobiographies are the templates for what mine aspires to be.

To Pete Fornatale for your advice and assistance as I was writing this masterpiece. I couldn’t have chosen a better collaborator.

To Mick Foley for going through the book with me line by line because he cared. His “bestselling author” suggestions and insightful advice were invaluable in making this a better book.

To my editor, Melanie Murray, at Grand Central Publishing, for picking up someone else’s vision and crafting it masterfully into her own; and for putting up with my OCD!

To Barry Bloom, Leland LaBarre, and everyone at Diverse, Nicole Nassar, and Kelly Kupper for being the quarterbacks of Team Jericho.

To Rich Ward and Mark Willis for helping to make rock ’n’ roll dreams come true.

To Marc Gerald, Seth Rappaport, and Jason Pinter for putting this idea into my head and helping me realize there was something interesting to write about after all.

To all of the promoters who enabled me to turn this fantasy into reality: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, Paul Heyman, Genichiro Tenryu, Antonio Inoki, Atsushi Onita, Paco Alonso, Carlos Elizondo, Jim Cornette, Rene Lasartesse, Ed Langley, Bob Puppets, Fred Jung, Tony Condello, and Bob Holliday. This is all your fault!

To Owen Hart, Ricky Steamboat, and Shawn Michaels for capturing my imagination and being heroes.

To Jim Ross for writing (as only he can) the perfect Foreword.

To all of those on the long and winding road whose friendship, love, and support helped to make it all possible: Ryan Ahoff, Dave Spivak, Kevin Ahoff, Craig Wallace, Warren Rumpel, Lee Wren, Don Callis, Tonga Fifita, Norman Smiley, Charles Ashenoff, Chavo Guererro Jr., Negro Casas, Yoshihiro Asai, Ajax Olson, Dean Malenko, Shane Helms, Hector Guerrero, Shane McMahon, Ed Aborn, all the past and present members of Fozzy, Sean Delson, Mike Martin, Bob Castillo and all at Grand Central Publishing for their understanding, Flamur Tonuzi, Bonnie Irvine, Paula and Tony Ford, Dave Meltzer for the fact checking, Paul Gargano, Lisa Ortiz, Masa Horie, Stephanie McMahon, Mary Klewchuk, Herb Irvine, Donna, Josh, and Dylan Campanaro, Kevin Dunn, Fred Chase, Zakk Wylde, Michael Braverman, Hal Sparks for the Beaver Birthday Cake line, Dale Thompson for Fistful of Bees, Mike Portnoy, the Irvine family, the Lockhart family, the Wheeldon family, the Malones, the Klewchuk family, the Holowatuk family, Pastor Chris Bonham, Rich McFarlin, and everyone at Grace Family Church, all of the Jerichoholics and Fozzy Fanatics worldwide and, most importantly, YOU!

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