Read A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex Online
Authors: Chris Jericho
Tags: #General, #Biography & Autobiography, #Sports & Recreation, #Biographies, #Wrestling
A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex
CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1: SHUT UP, KID, OR I’LL SLAP YOUR FACE
CHAPTER 2: GROTTO VALLEY DEATH MATCH
CHAPTER 3: BODY SLAMS, BISCUITS, AND BIBLES
CHAPTER 5: THE OBVIOUS TRANSITION FROM ARCHERY TO WRESTLING
CHAPTER 6: I WOULD’VE SIGNED AWAY MY UNIT
PART THREE WICHITA AND ELSEWHERE
CHAPTER 9: THE PIED PIPER OF PONOKA
CHAPTER 10: HOW TO DRINK LIKE A WRESTLER
CHAPTER 11: PROPER CRACK-BUYING ETIQUETTE
CHAPTER 12: A HOT DOG AND A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE
CHAPTER 13: MY NAME IS CHRIS TOO
CHAPTER 14: THE WORST BALL-HUGGERS EVER
CHAPTER 15: TOILET WATER IS TOILET WATER
CHAPTER 17: AN EMBARRASSING WAY TO DIE
CHAPTER 20: WHEN YOU LOSE A BROTHER
CHAPTER 21: THE TRIANGLE OF DECADENCE
CHAPTER 23: THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT JERICHO
CHAPTER 25: AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A WAL-MART PARTY
CHAPTER 27: STRANGE KENTUCKY PEOPLE
CHAPTER 28: AIN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMOUS WRESTLER?
CHAPTER 30: DONALDO MAKUDONALDO
CHAPTER 31: THE DOM DELUISE OF WRESTLING
CHAPTER 33: WRESTLE AND ROMANCE
CHAPTER 37: YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN JAPAN AGAIN
CHAPTER 40: PRETTY BOYS WERE CRUCIFIED
CHAPTER 43: DOOMED FROM THE START
CHAPTER 44: BASKETBALL HIGHLIGHTS #12
CHAPTER 45: INDIAN CASTE SYSTEM
CHAPTER 46: CHRIS BIGALOW, ORIENTAL GIGOLO
CHAPTER 47: THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS, BABY
CHAPTER 49: CRUISERWEIGHT PURGATORY
CHAPTER 51: NO TICKEE, NO LAUNDRY
CHAPTER 52: SHE WAS MY DENSITY
CHAPTER 54: ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG
CHAPTER 55: THE CLOCK HITS ZERO TONIGHT
Copyright © 2007 by Chris Jericho
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Grand Central Publishing
Hachette Book Group USA
237 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Visit our Web site at
www.HachetteBookGroupUSA.com
.
First eBook Edition: October 2007
ISBN: 0-446-40888-3
1. Jericho, Chris. 2. Wrestlers—Canada—Biography. 3. World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. I. Fornatale, Peter. II. Title.
For Eddy
Friend, Colleague, Brother, Inspiration
I
started working on this book in August of 2005 and finished it in May of 2007. It was a long process and a labor of love, and when the final manuscript was handed in I was convinced that it was exactly the way I wanted it to be.
The book was typeset and put into galley form (industry talk for pretty much finished, with no more changes allowed), and that was to be it.
But a horrible additional chapter unfolded.
One of the main characters in this book is Chris Benoit. He was a huge influence on my career and on my life, and he is a very important part of this story.
The majority of the events within this book focus on my life from 1990 to 1999. The Chris Benoit in this book is the one I knew within that same time frame. The man that I knew and loved exists within these pages, not the man that existed during the final days of his life.
Due to the tremendous understanding of the people at Grand Central Publishing, I was allowed to break the rules. I was able to make a few changes to the book and to write this message, and I thank them for that.
I just wish to God that I didn’t have to, and I pray for the souls of the departed.
CJ
F
irst, I want to say that this book is
not
an “as told to” autobiography. My role was to brainstorm ideas and help with organization and structure. The voice is 100 percent Chris Jericho.
Also, we chose to refer to Vince McMahon’s wrestling company as the WWF in most places throughout the book, because that’s what it was called when the events being described took place. It has since been renamed the WWE.
Peter Thomas Fornatale
Brooklyn, New York
To Jesus Christ for allowing me to live my dream. Thank you sir!
To Jessica my princess and the love of my life, for her belief and tolerance of me. To our children, Ash, Cheyenne, and Sierra, for teaching me how to be a man. Love is too small a word.
To my dad, Ted, for being my biggest supporter and my best friend.
To my mom, Loretta, for being my true hero and for teaching me how to love.
To Chad and Todd Holowatuk for being the brothers I always had.
To Grandma Jesse for getting me into this whole mess.
To Grandpa Jake for granting me amnesty.
To Auntie Joan for encouraging and sparking my creativity.
To Lance Storm, Lenny Olson, Mike Lozanski, and Bret Como for their friendship and for being there from the beginning. We toured the world and elsewhere…
To the Palko Family—Jerry, Bev, Brad, and Tyler. Without your love and support this journey never would’ve taken place.
To Chris Benoit for being a mentor, a big brother, and for always having my back. Love and respect to the man I knew.
To Mick Foley and Andy Summers, whose autobiographies are the templates for what mine aspires to be.
To Pete Fornatale for your advice and assistance as I was writing this masterpiece. I couldn’t have chosen a better collaborator.
To Mick Foley for going through the book with me line by line because he cared. His “bestselling author” suggestions and insightful advice were invaluable in making this a better book.
To my editor, Melanie Murray, at Grand Central Publishing, for picking up someone else’s vision and crafting it masterfully into her own; and for putting up with my OCD!
To Barry Bloom, Leland LaBarre, and everyone at Diverse, Nicole Nassar, and Kelly Kupper for being the quarterbacks of Team Jericho.
To Rich Ward and Mark Willis for helping to make rock ’n’ roll dreams come true.
To Marc Gerald, Seth Rappaport, and Jason Pinter for putting this idea into my head and helping me realize there was something interesting to write about after all.
To all of the promoters who enabled me to turn this fantasy into reality: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, Paul Heyman, Genichiro Tenryu, Antonio Inoki, Atsushi Onita, Paco Alonso, Carlos Elizondo, Jim Cornette, Rene Lasartesse, Ed Langley, Bob Puppets, Fred Jung, Tony Condello, and Bob Holliday. This is all your fault!
To Owen Hart, Ricky Steamboat, and Shawn Michaels for capturing my imagination and being heroes.
To Jim Ross for writing (as only he can) the perfect Foreword.
To all of those on the long and winding road whose friendship, love, and support helped to make it all possible: Ryan Ahoff, Dave Spivak, Kevin Ahoff, Craig Wallace, Warren Rumpel, Lee Wren, Don Callis, Tonga Fifita, Norman Smiley, Charles Ashenoff, Chavo Guererro Jr., Negro Casas, Yoshihiro Asai, Ajax Olson, Dean Malenko, Shane Helms, Hector Guerrero, Shane McMahon, Ed Aborn, all the past and present members of Fozzy, Sean Delson, Mike Martin, Bob Castillo and all at Grand Central Publishing for their understanding, Flamur Tonuzi, Bonnie Irvine, Paula and Tony Ford, Dave Meltzer for the fact checking, Paul Gargano, Lisa Ortiz, Masa Horie, Stephanie McMahon, Mary Klewchuk, Herb Irvine, Donna, Josh, and Dylan Campanaro, Kevin Dunn, Fred Chase, Zakk Wylde, Michael Braverman, Hal Sparks for the Beaver Birthday Cake line, Dale Thompson for Fistful of Bees, Mike Portnoy, the Irvine family, the Lockhart family, the Wheeldon family, the Malones, the Klewchuk family, the Holowatuk family, Pastor Chris Bonham, Rich McFarlin, and everyone at Grace Family Church, all of the Jerichoholics and Fozzy Fanatics worldwide and, most importantly, YOU!