A Light to My Path (22 page)

As Grady wandered restlessly around the yard later that afternoon, the Negro musicians came outside for a break. One of them laid his fiddle and bow on a bench right in front of Grady, then left to fill a plate with food. Grady picked up the instrument. The heft and balance of it felt immediately familiar, and it stirred a longing in him that he hadn’t known was there. Without thinking, he placed the fiddle beneath his chin—then quickly lowered it again. How many years had it been since he’d played? At least three. Unable to resist, he lifted it into place again, and drew the bow across the strings. The sound vibrated pleasantly through him. He smiled without realizing it and played a quick scale.

The instrument was out of tune, probably from all the lively playing its owner had done. Grady reached for the tuning pegs, turning them to adjust the strings, testing the pitches with the bow until the notes sounded in tune. Then he played a simple melody, his fingers remembering exactly where to go, how firmly to press down. It was as if he had played mere days ago, not years.

“You got good pitch,” a voice behind him said. “You play a lot?”

Grady turned and saw the man who owned the fiddle. “I used to. I ain’t played in a long time.” He offered the instrument back to him but the man shook his head, balancing a plate and a glass of cider in his hands.

“No, go ahead, let’s hear you play something else.”

“I don’t remember how to no more,” Grady mumbled.

“You tuned up them strings like you still remembered.”

Grady hesitated. Part of him longed to play, to allow the music to flow through him again like a healing balm, the way it had when he’d first learned from Beau in New Orleans. But another part of him couldn’t forget what he’d been forced to do in the years that had followed. He never wanted to play again.

“No, thanks,” he mumbled. He laid the fiddle down on the bench where he’d found it.

“Ever hear this tune?” the fiddler asked as he set down his plate. He lifted the instrument and played a slow, beautiful tune that Grady had never heard before. Without realizing it, he studied where the man placed his fingers, learning the tune as if he intended to play it himself. By the third verse, Grady had memorized it. He slowly became aware that the conversations all around him had quieted as the other slaves listened, too.

“You know that song?” the man asked when he finished. Grady shook his head. “It’s called ‘Amazing Grace’ but I call it the slave trader’s song. Man who wrote it was captain of a slave ship.”

Grady tensed. His face must have shown his revulsion because the man touched his arm with the bow, as if to soothe him.

“No, no. He gave up the slaving business when he found Jesus,” the fiddler explained with a grin. “He wrote that song afterwards. Said that Jesus had saved him and forgiven him and gave him a brand-new life. The last verse says we’re gonna have ten thousand years to sing praises to Jesus in heaven. I like to think I’ll be playing my fiddle up there, too, don’t you?”

“I got nothing to do with Jesus,” Grady said coldly. He strode off to find another glass of cider.

Kitty came outside through the servants’ door in time to see Grady stride away from one of the musicians, an angry look on his face. Even on this happy occasion, he seemed unable to relax and have fun. She shook her head and hurried over to the table of food, determined to eat and enjoy herself for a few moments. She had just filled her plate and was looking for a place to sit, when she heard Grady’s voice behind her.

“I’m surprised your missy let you come to the party.”

Kitty glanced up at him, then quickly looked away. It was so hard to see Grady and not recall what it had been like to be kissed by him. So hard not to wish he would kiss her again. “I been very busy,” she said. “This is the biggest day of Missy’s life. She’s needing me more than ever.”

“I figured you’d defend her.”

Kitty let his comment go by. She found a place to sit on an empty bench and began eating. There was room for Grady to sit beside her, but he remained standing. “Ain’t you gonna eat something?” she asked.

“I already did.” He shifted nervously in place, stuffing his hands into his pockets, then pulling them out a moment later. “Massa said we’re going back to Beaufort real soon,” he finally said. “You coming, too?”

“Yes. Missy’s bringing me with her.”

“You ain’t looking very happy about it. What’s wrong?”

Kitty forced a smile. If Grady noticed that she was unhappy, then Missy Claire would notice, too. She mustn’t be gloomy. “Nothing’s wrong. I never been away from home before, that’s all. Going to live in a new house and a new town is a little scary. Only places I ever lived is on Great Oak Plantation or here in Charleston.”

“You got family you leaving behind?”

“No. I got lots of friends, like Mammy Bertha and Cook and Bessie, but I ain’t got no family. What’s it like where you and your massa live?”

“I don’t know. I never been allowed inside the plantation house. Or the town house in Beaufort, either.” His anger flared momentarily, but Kitty saw him carefully bank it. “I don’t notice colors and things like you always do,” he said with a shrug. “But it’s quiet and peaceful there. Lots of pretty things for you to draw, I guess. The town of Beaufort ain’t nearly as big and noisy as Charleston. I’ll be glad to be gone from here.”

He glanced up at the open windows as the musicians started playing again in the upstairs ballroom. The music seemed to make Grady uneasy for some reason.

“Are the other slaves nice?” Kitty asked.

“Huh?”

“The other slaves where your massa lives. Are they nice?”

“I guess so.”

Kitty ate a bite of pork, wondering how many girlfriends Grady had back home and if they would get along with her. She knew it would make him mad if she asked about other girls her age. “Well, at least I’ll know one person there,” she said.

“Yeah. Your missy.”

She knew by his bitter tone that he was still angry with her. But before she could reply, one of the parlormaids came to the back door, calling to her.

“Kitty! Missy Claire’s wanting you to come right away.”

Kitty set her half-finished plate aside and hurried to obey.

“See you later,” Grady mumbled.

Beaufort, South Carolina
December 1860

Delia watched in alarm as Massa Fuller’s carriage drew to a halt in front of the town house. “Better come quick,” she shouted to all the other slaves. “Massa’s come home early, and he brought his new bride.” She didn’t know which to do first: rush outside and greet her new missus, hurry into the front parlor to pull the dust sheets off the furniture, or run upstairs and finish getting the bedrooms ready. She decided on the parlor, telling Martin to go greet them and Minnie to hurry upstairs.

Massa Fuller led his new bride into the room just as Delia stuffed the last sheet out of sight. She had to hide her shock at how young the girl was. She could be Massa’s daughter, not his wife. White folks certainly were peculiar.

“Claire darling, this is Delia,” Massa Fuller said. “She was my mammy when I was small, and now she and Martin supervise the house slaves for me, both here in town and out at the plantation.”

Delia kept her eyes lowered in respect. “Welcome, Missus Fuller. We real happy to have you here. I’m sorry if we ain’t quite ready, but we ain’t expecting y’all until next week.”

“I know,” Massa said, “but there have been some unexpected developments in Charleston. We’re on military alert.”

“That don’t sound good, Massa. And it look like you wearing a new uniform, too. We starting a war or something?”

“Let’s hope not. We ordered all U.S. troops to leave South Carolina after we seceded, but they’ve refused to surrender Fort Sumter in Charleston harbor. I’ve returned to my command with the Beaufort Artillery just in case there’s a showdown.”

Delia shook her head in sympathy. “That sure ain’t a very nice way to celebrate your wedding, Massa.”

“Claire understands, don’t you, dear,” he said, smiling at her. She quickly returned his smile. But Delia noticed that Missus Fuller had been studying the room, eyeing all of Massa’s fine furniture and paintings as if adding up how much they were all worth. She was quite pretty for a white girl, but it was an icy beauty, like a clear, crisp winter day, without the softness or warmth of spring. Massa’s first wife had been much the same.

“Show her around, Delia,” Massa said. “And Claire brought her chambermaid along, too. See if you can find someplace for the girl to sleep.”

“Yes, Massa Fuller.”

He left the house again in a big hurry and drove away in the carriage as Delia began conducting Missus Fuller on a tour of the downstairs. This town house wasn’t nearly as large as Massa’s plantation house, but it seemed to take forever because the new missus had to examine every valuable item in every room. When they were ready to go upstairs, Delia noticed the new chambermaid standing in the back hallway, looking as wide-eyed as a frightened child. She had come in through the rear servants’ door and seemed afraid to move from there without permission. The girl looked familiar to Delia, but before she even had a chance to ask her name, Missus Fuller began yelling at her.

“Don’t just stand there, Kitty, get upstairs and start unpacking my things. Must you be told everything? Don’t you have a brain in your head?”

“Sorry, Missy. I ain’t knowing my way around yet, and—”

“Then ask someone! You have a tongue, don’t you?”

“It’s the big room on the right at the top of the stairs,” Delia said quickly. “You’ll see all the suitcases and trunks in there.” Kitty scampered up the stairs ahead of them like the devil was chasing her. Delia glanced at Massa’s new wife and wondered if maybe she was.

By the time Delia had a chance to sit down and eat her own dinner in the kitchen that evening, she’d already had her fill of her new mistress. The Lord was surely going to have to work a miracle in Delia’s heart before she could love that woman. Of course Missus Fuller was all sugar-sweet when Massa was around, but as soon as he was out of earshot it was another story. And she had run that poor little chambermaid of hers ragged.

“How you doing, honey?” Delia asked when Kitty was finally allowed to join her in the kitchen. “You ain’t had time to sit down and eat a bite of food all day, have you?”

“That’s okay. I know Missy’s wanting to get settled in right away.” Something about Kitty’s smile seemed forced. She’d worn it bravely all afternoon, even when her mistress had been sharp with her.

“You sit down now, and let me fix you a plate,” Delia said. “Then maybe me and you can get better acquainted.”

“You don’t have to wait on me. I can—”

“I know you can,” she said as she steered Kitty to a seat. “But serving you is my way of serving Jesus.”

“You’re that storyteller, aren’t you?” Kitty said. “You came to visit Massa Goodman’s house a couple of times. You told us all about that land where everybody had black skin.”

Delia nodded. “I thought I’d seen you before. I remember you saying how you lost your folks when you was just a little girl.”

For the first time all day, Kitty’s smile faded. She nodded, then tried to hide her sorrow by biting into the biscuit Delia had placed in front of her. She lowered her head as if expecting a beating.

“Did you have to leave any other loved ones behind when your missy got married?” Delia asked.

“I never had no loved ones,” Kitty said softly. “I can’t really recall my mama and papa. Only reason I know what happen to them is because Mammy Bertha told me.”

“There ain’t nobody else, honey?” Delia asked in amazement.

“I have Missy Claire. She’s been like family to me since I was just a little girl. That’s when I first started working up at the Big House and being her slave.”

Delia had heard the way Missy Claire treated her—and how Kitty responded, poor child. Delia thought she understood, now, why the Lord had brought this girl to her. “God love you,” she murmured. “Pretty soon we’ll all be just like family to you around here. Minnie and Jim stay here in Beaufort all year round to take care of Massa’s town house. And you met Faye, the cook, didn’t you? And Martin? He acts bossy sometimes, but don’t pay him no mind. Martin, Faye, and me always go back and forth to the plantation whenever Massa goes. You will, too, I guess.”

When the back door opened a moment later and Grady strode into the room, Kitty jumped. Delia saw something unspoken pass between them as they greeted each other, but she couldn’t tell what it was. She wondered if he had tried to sweet-talk Kitty the way he had so many others. Then Grady crossed the room to sweep Delia into his arms for a hug.

“I missed you, Delia.”

“Me too, honey. Welcome home. You went driving off so fast this afternoon I didn’t even get a chance to say hello.”

He kissed her forehead, then sank down at the table across from Kitty. “I know. Massa needed to run over to the arsenal right away.”

“Guess I don’t need to ask if you’re hungry, do I,” Delia said. She hurried to fix him a plate. She could tell by their strained small talk that something had gone on between Grady and Kitty. There was a history there. Delia hoped he hadn’t hurt her. Kitty seemed very innocent and naïve, not at all like Grady’s usual conquests.

Delia decided to find out as soon as Kitty went back into the house and she and Grady were alone. “I’m gonna ask you a question, Grady, and I want a straight answer. What’s between you and the new girl, Kitty?”

“Nothing. We got to know each other while Massa Fuller was courting her missy. Ain’t nothing between us.”

She studied him for a long moment, trying to see if he was telling the truth. He avoided her gaze, shoveling sweet potatoes into his mouth like it was his last meal. “That ain’t like you, Grady. Kitty is a real pretty gal.”

“Yeah, well … I can’t be respecting a gal who lets herself be treated the way she does.”

“What’s she supposed to do? Tell her missy off ?”

“I know we have to talk like slaves to their faces,” Grady said, getting angry. “But when Kitty ain’t with Missy she’s the same way, always defending her, won’t say nothing bad about her.”