A Late Divorce
Copyright © 1984 by A. B. Yehoshua
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
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For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.
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Reprinted by arrangement with Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.
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Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 84-72728
ISBN 0-15-649447-7
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eISBN 978-0-544-13588-8
v1.0213
Benjy knew it when Da Muddy died. He cried. He smell hit. He smell hit.
William Faulkner
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Grandpa really has come I thought it's raining outside it wasn't a dream I remembered how they woke me and showed me to him because they promised me they would as soon as he came from the airplane even if I was sleeping that's why I agreed to go to bed. At first I heard them argue in the dark because dad didn't want them turning on the light but mom said I promised and dad said so what he'll have plenty of time to see him. But mom insisted just for a second come see him father he's done nothing but wait and ask about you for the last three days. Which wasn't even so. And the light went on but I couldn't open my eyes because it hurt and I heard a hoarse new voice it was grandpa's I don't believe that's really Gaddi why I still think of him as a baby you're raising a giant here. A giant he called me not fat but dad laughed time hasn't stood still he's not your tribe's he's ours big fat and solid the blanket's hiding him now you'll see him better later the kids in his class call him Boxer he's really a sweetheart the pain shot through my heart again. How could he? Why?
Shh Kedmi shh whispered mom the child's up already she patted my head and tried sitting me up but she was too late she always is grandpa already had heard. Who told dad? He knows everything. If only mom had told grandpa now about my glands but she just propped me up in bed with her hand to keep me from falling get up Gaddi it's grandpa he's here open your eyes I opened them and saw Uncle Tsvi in a hat but all wrinkled and taller full of hair he was crying ma passed me to him he tried lifting me he staggered and almost dropped me he kissed me he got me wet with his tears. He doesn't remember me. Do you remember me Gaddi? We told you he would come in the end laughed mom her eyes were wet too. You wanted us to wake you. So I put my lips on his rough dry cheeks for a kiss. That's enough said dad he took me from grandpa and swung me back into bed they were already by the baby to look at her too they didn't wake her though because once she's up she never goes back to sleep. Enough said dad you'll see so much of them you'll be sick of them yet. He turned off the light I was almost asleep again when he came back and pulled off the blanket as long as you're up why don't you try to pee we don't want any more little messes. I don't have to I whispered. Try anyway there's always something he helped me up and into my slippers he led me to the bathroom and pulled down my pajamas I saw the whole house lit bags and suitcases and grandpa's back he was drinking tea with his hat on. But there wasn't any pee my head kept dropping to the little pool of clear water dad whistled standing guard by the door. Well? I made already I whispered and flushed right away. I didn't hear you he said but I made I pulled up my pants and went back to bed what does he want he trails me like a policeman he covered me and said give me a kiss so I gave him one and he kissed me back hard and left then I felt if I waited some more I might have peed after all it was all because of that whistling and I fell asleep.
And now it was warm and wet down there with that sweet like smell of the mess and the rain I could hear it dripping all the time even though it was nearly Passover it was the day of our class seder. There wasn't a sound in the house not even the radio till dad stood in the doorway it's seven o'clock aren't you getting up he came to pull off the blanket but I held on to it tight. I'm getting up I said he didn't smell a thing the minute he left I part-closed the door I pulled off my wet bottoms real quick and stuffed them into my schoolbag and covered them with books I took an old wool blanket and spread it on the stain to absorb it the baby opened her eyes. Then I went to the bathroom to wash up. Grandpa's bags were all gone only his hat was still on the kitchen table there was a smell of coffee dad sat behind his paper.
“Where's mom?”
“She's sleeping. They were up all night. C'mon, get a move on. It's raining, I'll drive you to school. Do you want an egg?”
“Yes.” And I sat down at the table that was full of food while he went to fry me an egg. “Will grandpa live with us now?”
“Of course not.”
“Will he go live with grandma?”
Dad laughed. “Where is that?”
“Where she is.”
But I was never in that place she doesn't really live in just nearby.
“No. He's only come for a few days to take care of some business. He'll stay with Tsvi too, and with Asa in Jerusalem. Then he'll go back to America.”
“For good?”
“For the time being.”
He gave me the egg and some cocoa and Rice Krispies and two slices of bread. He always gives me a lot and expects me to finish it all.
“Why did grandpa cry?”
“When?”
“Last night.”
“Did he? I didn't notice. I guess he felt like it. Let's go, enough questions. Hurry up, I don't have time...”
I began to eat listening to the quiet in the house watching the raindrops run down the windowpane. I said:
“It was just one boy who called me Boxer once. It wasn't everyone”
He put down his paper and looked at me and laughed.
“All right, all right. It was just something I said. I didn't mean anything by it. Even if they do call you Boxer why should you care? Tell them to go to hell. I'm on the chubby side myself, and you can see there's nothing wrong with it, especially if you're tall.”
He stood up to show me his stomach letting it hang out on purpose beating it with his fist.
“Don't worry, you'll be big and strong just like me.”
But I didn't want to be just like him not that I said so. !t was already past seven-thirty. I finished eating and went back to my room to pack my schoolbag and to see if the stain was gone but it wasn't so I sort of made the bed while the baby looked on it's a good thing she can't talk I stuck the pacifier in her mouth and walked out past the shut door where grandpa was sleeping I looked around to see if he had left something for me but there wasn't anything that looked like it. I went to mom and dad's room and touched mom she opened her eyes right away she smiled but dad was right behind me leave her alone Gaddi hands off let her sleep what is it that you want?
“I need matzos, lettuce and wine. We're having a class seder this morning.”
“Why didn't you say so yesterday?”
“I told mom.”
“Maybe you can get along without it. Borrow some from another boy.”
“I'm getting up,” said mom.
“You don't have to. I'll take care of it. Come on, just get a move on.”
He went to the kitchen and wrapped two matzos in a newspaper he looked in the closet and found a bottle of old wine he tasted it and made a face he looked at me and said what difference does it make you won't drink it anyway it's just symbolic and he poured some into an old jar that used to have olives in it. Forget about the lettuce he said you can borrow a leaf from someone. So I started back toward mom don't be stubborn he said it's getting late but I said I need lettuce so he searched in the vegetable bin and found some old leaves and gave them to me was he sore. Since when did you get so religious? I put it all in my schoolbag my watch already said ten to eight.
“What else do you need?”
“A snack for school.”
“What about the matzo?”
“It's for the seder at the end.”
“Okay, I won't let you starve.” He cut two thick slices of bread in a hurry and put chocolate spread on them he jangled his keys then mom was there she told me to put on my boots I went to get them she combed my hair I'm counting to three and going dad shouted the baby cried I strapped on my schoolbag and started downstairs halfway down I remembered I ran back up mom opened the door the baby was already in her arms.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I ran to the bathroom and opened my schoolbag and took out the wet pajamas and stuffed them deep into the laundry bin on the way out I passed grandpa's door I opened it quietly and saw him sleeping by a suitcase full of clothes but nothing in it seemed to be for me.
I felt mom's hand. “You'll see him later when you come home from school.” I ran down the stairs. Dad's car was running the wipers were on white smoke came out from the back.
“What the hell's the matter with you? What did you forget this time?”
“Nothing.”
“It's enough to drive a person up the wall.”
The cars whizzed down the hill without stopping for dad they honked their brakes squealed in the end though he swore and swung into the traffic and let me off by my school.
It was raining harder the children were running someone ran by me and said look at Boxer in boots he was gone before I could grab him I was sure it was the boy from 3A who had called me that before. There wasn't any lineup we went straight to our rooms the bell rang our teacher Galya talked about the rain which might be the last of the year she wrote last rain on the blackboard we opened our Bibles before she even began hands were up to answer questions that no one had asked we have kids like that in our class. We read about Jacob who thought Joseph was eaten alive because all his brothers lied I was thinking of grandpa was he up yet when Galya told me to read next read what I said the chapter's finished then start the next one she said and I did. And the famine was sore in the land and it came to pass when they had eaten up the provender which they had brought out of Egypt. Galya stopped me to ask what provender was I said it was some kind of food I didn't know which then Sigal raised her hand and said it was wheat because that's what they ate in those days and Galya said wheat and other things too so we talked about making flour from wheat and about baking bread and I opened my schoolbag to see if the bread was still there. At last the bell rang and I took out my sandwich because I was hungry but Galya made me put it back because we don't eat in first recess.
During recess we stayed in the halls because it was muddy outside the janitor wouldn't let us out the children were wild I went looking for the boy who called me Boxer just let him try again in the end I spotted him running around a small skinny kid I went up to him he just smiled with his big dark eyes I wanted to hear him say it again so I'd know for sure I could sock him but he didn't say anything then the bell rang and he went back to his class it was really 3A.
The next class was drawing. Right off I drew a sun and a fence and a house like where grandma lives a man by the fence held a boy's hand but the boy came out very big almost bigger than the man so I gave him a beard and made a man of him too and gave the first man braids and made him a woman and drew a new boy a baby on the ground with big flowers all around. I showed it to the teacher that's nice she said but why is the sun so low it's almost touching the people so I went back to my desk and drew a black cloud over it with rain coming out and wrote last rain on it and gave the man and the woman an umbrella but not the baby he couldn't hold one he'd have to get wet but by then I was bored so I wrote Gaddi underneath and took out my sandwich and ate it because the drawing teacher doesn't care if we eat in her class and then I stripped to my gym shorts. The rain had stopped so I went out to the yard we shot marbles in the mud the boy from 3A who never seems to play with boys his own age just with smaller ones was there too he didn't say a word to me it was like he never had or would he just took out two marbles and shot them sharp and fast. It was a weird game because the marbles kept sticking in the mud they got bigger and bigger like big slow brown balls we all laughed at the fatsos rolling in the puddles there was mud all over us too we really had a good time. But when the bell rang and we started picking up the marbles and putting them back in our pockets Ido from my class thought that one of mine was his and wanted to know where it was and this little kid says just like that Boxer took it while sticking close to a teacher passing by I made believe I didn't hear but something ached inside I went to look for a stick because once the others learn to call me Boxer there won't be any stopping it.