A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style (21 page)

For women, all of the variations mean one thing: You have many options. It has been our experience that black tie is increasingly looking like “dressy cocktail” for women. In other words, dresses no longer must reach the floor.
Depending on how often you attend the types of events that call for black tie or one of its relatives, you may be better off with a fabulous—read: black—cocktail dress that can be “garnished” with beautiful accessories. If you are forever being called upon to attend balls, galas, and super-posh dinner dances, you may need to invest in a few floor sweepers. The gentlemen at the Consulate, as you’ve probably noticed, will be in white tie. This is the dressiest of all and requires black tails with a white shirt and white vest.

The issue here is how to strike a balance between the fun and the professional.

If the party is directly after work, this may be a moot point—you will simply wear whatever you chose from your well-organized closet that morning. Perhaps a quick mini toilette at your desk—if you have some privacy; if not, the ladies’ room will suffice—to create a transition from work to socializing. Location is also key—if it’s in your conference room with boxed wine, you probably don’t need to dress—if it’s at the Rainbow Room, tuxedo pants and a gorgeous shell might be the way to go. You are no longer at work but you are still with your coworkers. So again, restraint regarding cleavage is suggested. And restraint with the boxed wine and holiday punch is a wise idea, too.

This is a relative of the Florida Casual, Caribbean Casual, and Texas Casual. No doubt someone somewhere is
planning a Minnesota Casual party at this very moment. California Casual does not mean wearing a T-shirt at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, as Google cofounder Sergey Brin did. But rather this is a way to be polished but comfortable. This could mean a sundress instead of a cocktail dress. Or in the Texan case, cowboy boots instead of pumps. This is a modern incarnation of resortwear accessible to all of us, not just those of us wintering on Turks and Caicos.

Men have very little to worry about when dressing up in the winter. A tuxedo is positively toasty compared to a strapless, décolleté-baring gown, so how do you look chic while not freezing? Some might say, “I’d rather freeze than wear a coat—one night of risking hypothermia is worth it!” While we admire the fashion
über alles
attitude, the problem remains that you will look unfinished arriving at your destination with chattering teeth and blue lips.

There are a few options that will always work. One, the cashmere, or cashmere-esque, stole. As we mentioned in the accessories chapter, the stole should be of an appropriate dimension for your figure and of a luxurious enough weight that it will provide some warmth and not look skimpy. Another option, which is less expected these days, is a faux-fur chubby. What an entertaining name for a style of jacket! Its only competition in the coat-name sweepstakes might be the balmacaan—a loose, swingy coat with raglan sleeves. You could also wear a balmacaan in a dressy fabric, but first, back to the faux-fur chubby. As the name implies, the chubby is a cropped,
full, and fluffy fur hitting just above the natural waist. Our preference is for faux fur, since there are so many wonderful versions available today. Plus you could have a chubby
and
cashmere stole for less than you’d pay for a real fur.

One huge benefit of the stole and chubby is that they are short—therefore you do not have to worry about the length of your dress versus the length of your coat. Everyone is bit more relaxed today about hems peeking out from beneath coats, but sometimes, call us stuffy, it just doesn’t look right. Why not opt for a warm outerlayer that will work with any length? Having said that, there are a few lengths that may not be ideal with a chubby. Something in the baby doll vein could be tricky. Since you obviously have some flair if you own a formal baby doll dress, how about a trench?

The trench coat for evening is a look we love. It’s a very insouciant, “just threw this on over my Worth gown” look. Opt for a trench in black, especially in a fabric with some sheen, and you’ll have a go-anywhere evening coat that will also work during the day. Again, be aware of competing hem lengths.

We now live in a time when it is possible to own a beautiful, chic—dare we say dressy—parka. Many designers have created what can only be described as evening puffy coats. We’ve even seen shirred mink varieties! These coats, if they have a dramatic collar, a nipped-in waist, or a beautiful rich color, do not look totally out of place when going out. Of course, put them on over anything more formal than a cocktail dress and you’ll be on thin ice. But at least you’ll be warm!

There are many occasions when one does not want to hide one’s light under a bushel as much as make sure the light will be appropriately appreciated no matter what the venue. Although the above sub-heading suggests meeting a paramour’s family, we think of it as any time you’re the newcomer meeting a large, already established group. Confidence is essential in this situation. Upon reflection, when isn’t it? However, meeting your new in-laws, medical practice partners, or fellow chess club members, you’ll want to play it close to the vest. You’ll know all about each other soon enough. Weather permitting, a wool jersey dress would be an excellent choice. The fabric has enough movement to be interesting, while avoiding fussiness. Furthermore, you’ll be able to breathe, so if you must nip off to the bathroom for a little hyperventilating, at least only your nerves will be attacking you, not your clothing.

When you get the invite, e-mail us. We will respond.

Weddings inject a bit of pomp and circumstance into our otherwise—we’re speaking for ourselves—pomp-free lives. It should be an unabashedly happy occasion, so why not have some fun while putting together an outfit? Unless the couple is conservative, black is now considered fine, especially at evening weddings. A little research will be necessary if the ceremony is not one you are familiar with culturally. A small bit of Googling should reveal if it is terrible manners to wear pink to a Croatian wedding. If you do opt for black, add accessories in an unexpected color to lighten up the look. One thing that hasn’t changed when it comes to nuptial fashion is the prohibition on white for guests. Frankly, white doesn’t do that much for so many people, why not let the bride be the only one who has to wrestle with it on her special day?

Another rule, which is as old as the hills, mandates that shoulders should be covered during the ceremony. One can argue that this is only really necessary if the ceremony is taking place in a religious setting. However, why rob yourself of the big reveal at the reception? You’ll whip off your wrap and stun the room with the beauty of your shoulders.

We hope that in your life you attend far more weddings than funerals. Although black is still the color most closely associated with mourning, it is permissible to wear other dark colors. The focus should be on the proceedings, not your outfit, so opt for simple, conservative clothing.

For some, packing is as stressful as death, divorce, or moving. But at least you can wear bright colors! Even business travelers can develop packing anxiety—but generally those frequent flyers have the right idea. You only need a couple of choices. Business travelers pare down their travel wardrobes and realize they only need two suits, an outfit for a dinner without the clients, and their running clothes. We should all be able to pack like this for everything. But that’s no fun! Packing is serious business. As a way to add a bit of fun, may we suggest picking a narrative? Having a narrative is a way to streamline what you are going to bring. If you are going for “Urban Sophisticate Visits the South of France” you will not bring your “Hoedown Elegant” outfits as well. It is a theme around which to pack, a way to ensure that nothing makes it into the suitcase that shouldn’t. You may be tempted by the packing theme of “Person Who Wears All the Things in My Closet That I Never Wear.” Resist this. If that kimono top doesn’t feel right in Berkeley, it won’t feel right in Berlin, either.

The packing theme is also a way to avoid that malady that strikes so many travelers: Aspirational Packing Syndrome. Who knows, we might be invited to that dinner dance at the Albanian Consulate or pressed into last-minute service as an emcee at a silent auction while visiting family in Seattle. However, one of the wonderful things about being human is the unpredictable nature of life for which nobody can adequately prepare. The best-packed blouses of mice and men . . . If the Albanians
simply demand you stop by, you’ll just have to do some emergency shopping. Perhaps they will also demand you visit the salon of a famous Albanian caftan maker. Lord knows, an absolutely huge part of doing “Tirana Casual” is finding the perfect caftan.

So, back to packing: The good packer is able to look inside herself and be honest about what will be worn. We know, deep down, how many pairs of jeans we are likely to actually wear in a five-day period while visiting our parents for Thanksgiving.

Here is an exercise—just bring a carry-on. Make it a low-stakes trip, like the aforementioned Thanksgiving visit. Visits to family are often high-stakes emotionally, of course, but the dress code is often a bit more casual. Just bring what you absolutely need. No extra choices, no “just in case” or “I’m not sure what I’ll be in the mood for” sweaters. Decide right now what you will be in the mood for, and then put it in your rolling bag. The idea of deciding what you will be in the mood for a week from Thursday may seem daunting; this is why a trip home is an excellent time to experiment. The terrain, both sartorial and emotional, is familiar. The types of outings you’ll take, the level of formality, the fact that your mother wishes you’d wear more blush—you know it all going in, so you can wean yourself from those overstuffed bags with a minimum of apprehension.

To borrow a word from our favorite TV chef, Alton Brown, there should be no uni-taskers in your suitcase.
Let’s put this principle to work on an imaginary trip to one of the most charming cities in the world: Montreal. You’ll be going for three days and staying at a hotel right off Boulevard Saint-Laurent. Lucky you! First, pack two pairs of pants; both should work for day and night. Now add some shoes comfortable enough for sightseeing, but chic enough for dinner—may we suggest, yet again, the ballet flat? (Especially one of those new-fangled pairs that have sneaker technology.) Your handbag should be roomy enough for your digital camera and for the wonderful bagels you’ll want to bring home. It should not, under any circumstances, be a backpack. Your trousers, which looked trim and chic while sightseeing, with the addition of a different top will stand you in good stead at the small-plate restaurant and bar in a converted warehouse right by the St. Lawrence River. After an evening out, you return to the hotel and slip into your preferred version of pajamas. Do bring an extra pair of socks or travel slippers. So three days can be handled with two pants, two tops that can go to dinner and three tops for daytime, a pair of ballet flats, some travel slippers, and sundry underthings. A cardigan sweater and a trench coat would round out the collection nicely.

Your efficient packing will leave plenty of room for the lovely mid-century items you pick up at Couleurs on St. Denis Street. And those bagels. That’s what travel is all about, isn’t it? You may regret not buying that incredible clock, but the chance that, months later, you’ll rue not bringing that extra dress is minuscule. Lest you become too excited by all that space in your suitcase and fill it up
with treasure, remember what the great decorator Albert Hadley once said, “Nothing has ruined more interiors than travel.” As always, shop with discretion.

For those folk lucky enough to take tropical vacations, let us turn to those beach bags. Really, few voyages lend themselves to minimal packing like this one. This is a chance to free yourself from the tyranny of clothing. By day, all you need are swimsuits and tasteful cover-ups for lunchtime. The tasteful cover-up can be a sarong or pareo worn either as a skirt or dress. Another option is a
kurta
—an Indian top resembling a tunic, which will look equally chic over a camisole and jeans for the flight. The
kurta
also works at dinner with linen pants. Those
kurtas
are hard-working cover-ups! Tasteful cover-ups do not include mesh or anything that reveals more than it hides. Swimsuits are an entirely different thing. If you would like to have a different swimsuit for every day, go ahead. They are small and do take awhile to dry. Sandals with a little detail work for all aspects of this vacation—poolside, beachside, in town, at dinner, riding your moped . . . really, when are they not a good choice? We’ll tell you: hiking. We trust that if you are the type of person who enjoys hiking on vacation, you know to bring something a bit more substantial.